The Special I Can See You But Will Ignore You Walk

[Rojelio]

Why do farangs do that funny invisible walk, posture, starey things and are more focused on ignoring you than acknowledging you with a nod or hello! when walking towards another farang in an un touristy area?

It has happend countless times too me but i have just had it happen while walking back home and have remembered to ask about it.

I have just passed another farang and we were walking towards each other for over 100 yds and as we got closer it was quite obvious he was doing the i cannot see you walk... ... i looked, nodded and said hello as we passed while he scratched his ear to avoid making contact....

why do people feel the need to do this?

Well....after reading the majority of these comments, maybe you won't feel so bad about not receiving the polite nod from the farangs you encounter on your walks. These are the same people who laud the friendliness of Thais because they cannot find that same quality in themselves. It used to be considered good manners to acknowledge another human being you come face to face with. Must be something in the up bringing. Very sad indeed.

[frenchFARANGbkk]

Why do farangs do that funny invisible walk, posture, starey things and are more focused on ignoring you than acknowledging you with a nod or hello! when walking towards another farang in an un touristy area?

It has happend countless times too me but i have just had it happen while walking back home and have remembered to ask about it.

I have just passed another farang and we were walking towards each other for over 100 yds and as we got closer it was quite obvious he was doing the i cannot see you walk... ... i looked, nodded and said hello as we passed while he scratched his ear to avoid making contact....

why do people feel the need to do this?

Hello for what ? Because you both are white ?

But it often happens that farangs here got bored with what they know since they are born, so i understand that they don't want to smile or say hello, you are not friend and will never be, so what's the matter ?

[pubba]

Interesting thread. My heart is in Thailand but I work and live in Taiwan because the salary is much higher (yes, I'm one of those awful bloody English teachers).

I think you will find this phenomenon in any foreign country, not just Thailand. It's definitely common here in Taiwan.

My town is outside the big farang centric cities of Taipei and Taichung etc, so it is rare to see another white face in my day to day life. I'm one of those goofy bastards that walks around saying hello to anyone that makes eye contact and looks friendly, no matter what colour skin they have.

I've made quite a lot of good friends by doing this and am not about to change now after doing it for 30+ years Of course, there are exceptions. I avoid drunks and people who are obviously intoxicated or have that 'thousand yard stare'.

However, in big cities (including Bangkok) I am more reserved and tone it down a notch. I usually stay to myself or just talk to the people I'm with.

Usually I'm so happy being in Thailand after a break that I am more than happy to talk with a lonely farang that strikes up a conversation. If they ask me for money I tell them the truth - sorry, my gf controls the money when I'm in Thailand. You can give her your spiel but you have no chance..!

Another theory that my mates and I have dreamed up here is the 'My Taiwan' syndrome (or 'My Thailand' syndrome accordingly).

Some people enjoy being the centre of their own exotic adventure. Having another white dork interrupt their existence is just too painful to endure, so they block them out. I have seen people cross the road, suddenly become fixated with a mole on their arm, start intently staring at price tags or even turn around and duck into a hiding place rather than share space with another Caucasian person.

The worst thing that has happened when I nod and smile at someone is total ignorance, but on the other hand I have made some really great friendships too.When I was visiting Khon Kaen earlier this year my gf and I took her daughter to Swensens. I saw an old American guy there with his wife and did the customary nod and smile. He pulled out a chair and asked us to join them. I figured, why not? They looked like nice people.

We ended up spending 2 days with them as guests in their home and went sightseeing etc. They even offered to help my gf find a job in Khon Kaen and asked us to join them in a visit to Chiang Mai. Perhaps they were lonely? But I think that they were just nice people.

So if you see a big friendly goofy looking guy next week in Bangkok and he smiles and nods at you, that's probably me

[Lancelot]

Hello for what ? Because you both are white ?

But it often happens that farangs here got bored with what they know since they are born, so i understand that they don't want to smile or say hello, you are not friend and will never be, so what's the matter ?

Good man, I love that attitude.

... and when I see you lying in the road I make sure to avoid your gaze as I step over you and continue on my merry way whistling "What a Wonderful World"

:D

[humfurry]

The truth is, you have to know "The Secret Ex pat Hand Shake". It's not something that you can read about in Lonely Planet. Tourist don't have a clue that it exists, it's completely off the map. It's not really a hand shake either. It's more a quick exchange of eye contact that is literally translated as "yep". Now this secret hand shake that is not really a handshake is from a very secret society created by the CIA in the late 60's to identify their agents in the field...but according to legend it evolved to include Aussies, a few Brits, some Kiwis and a Swede and became a means of protecting the semi-indigenous Ex pat population from the long term sex tourists, back packers, footballers and people who would be considered persona non gratis in the finer penal systems of the world.

With out revealing too many secrets of how this society operates... I can tell you with some authority that "we" have our tentacles in every strata of Thai society. Yes "tentacles" not "testicles"and although the latter may be true...that would require going off topic and doing so would subsequently relegate this gem of a post into the category of "arm chair Ex pat who thinks he's still living in Yorkshire". Are you following me so far?

Here is a sampling of a few of our methods that we use to keep you at a distance.

1. Ever notice the condition of Paving Stones here? That's our doing. It keeps you looking down at your feet, thus creating a sense of uncertainly in you. Your afraid that if you don't watch where you're going, you will fall down and look like an idiot. And yes, we will step over you when you do fall.

2. We control the television ads on the BTS that you don't understand. They are ripe with warnings to the local Thai population that you should not be trusted and that you are poor with no intentions of ever eating Som Tam. Moreover, the repetition of these whitening cream, boy band etc.... ads are designed to create a loop of mentally dulling music in your head that keeps you awake till dawn and that no Red Label induced stupor (that you will spend the next day sweating out) can ever remove. In fact, we have been about to sync the Red Label beds spins to the music loop in your head. Loop/hangover, loop/hangover, loop/hangover forever and ever...Amen. Clever huh?

3. Essanistas: Since you have be alienated from the Thai population and the semi-indigenous Ex pats are doing their best to avoid you, your choices of companionship are limited. Essanistas...aka bar girls are actually our well trained under cover operatives with special psychological language training (Thaiglish) designed slowly wearing you and your wallet down. "You handsome man, Where you go?, OK, OK...You have condo? Yes/no? mai pen rai. Me thirsty, sister too. Bar fine me, I go with you long time, Yes/no? mai pen rai." After a bit of this Thaiglish and a dozen or so marked up drinks you become "English incapable" and no one from your homeland would understand what you are trying to say you even if you did have the courage to actually say hello first.

This post will self destruct in 5 seconds. 1...

,

[sbk]

I very much doubt you have ever lived in a village for a long period of time, I was brought up in such an enviroment. There people actually took offence if you walked by and did not speak!! They would certainly let you know about it next time you did acknowledge them!!! Your comment "Everyone does this to anyone anywhere in the world" is pure ignorance. I once walked through the village where I was raised with a girlfriend from far away....she was absolutely gobsmacked that I spoke to every person we met, returned a wave to passing vehicles.......I nod and speak to most farang and Thai as I have been raised to do......to ignore is very impolite in my farang land village!!!

Its very rude in my Thailand village too geo. Before the huge influx of non-local Thais I used to drive my motorbike around with a smile plastered on my face, i realized it was better to be thought of as slightly foolish than to be considered rude and unfriendly.

But, we've been inundated with non-local Thais and foreigners moving onto the island so I don't do that so much anymore. Did come across one old foreign gent in the new Tesco Lotus, who, when I smiled and made a comment to him about how the aisles were crowded with boxes of goods, gave me a glare and pushed past me.

I'd rather be friendly than rude, and if someone else is unfriendly than that is their own sad problem, not mine

[kmsn3000]

Hmmmm, who really knows. I don't live in Thailand but it is the same everywhere. I was in Canada recently after many years away and while trudging a lonely street a woman I passed said :Hi! and walked on; leaving me to ponder her motives for being friendly.

[skipvice]

I'd rather be friendly than rude, and if someone else is unfriendly than that is their own sad problem, not mine

Now thats the right attitude

[longstebe]

I'd rather be friendly than rude, and if someone else is unfriendly than that is their own sad problem, not mine

Now thats the right attitude

Agreed. <deleted> is up with some people.

"you are not friend and never will be" (frenchFARANGbkk). Wot a bell end **no flaming please--sbk***

[Huey]

I don't usually see this happen with other Black people, usualy at least a simple nod of aknoledgment.

[Capealava]

Most farangs or rather foreigners come to Thailand or other places to experience the difference the new, the oddness. When they see other foreigners it may take away from that experience. Another reason all farangs are not from the same country. If I knew the person was from the USA-let say he was wearing a NEW York Yankees hat-I would acknowledge him. A Swede may greet a Swede. a Irishman may greet a Irishman.

I also noticed the lack of contact other than bars between foreigners when I first came here in 2003. Now it is just a normal thing to just walk the street absorbed in my own thoughts just as at home. I do not greet people constantly in home Seattle Washington unless there is some acute commonality. And just being a fellow foreigner in Thailand is just to common. I lived in Tak area for 2 years and there I was so happy to meet a fellow english speaking person- I almost fell over myself HAHAH.

And of course there is the "upmanship" of length of time spent here and your association with Thai people (girlfriends, business), house size, money, things that just follow humans wherever we go.

Do not worry about it. Just walk on my friend.

[Pash]

What do you have in common apart from being non-Thai?

I never have anything to say to others who married a Thai and expect to be instant bosom buddies.

I will feel no discomfort in ignoring you

100% agree. So many people here want or more need someone from their own country

or barring that someone with common language.

Sometimes its nice for a while but more often it reminds me that most Farangs cannot live without some

tie to their own country. They need some back home breast milk.

They live in Ghetto's with their fellow countrymen then start trying to change things so they are like what they

remember back home was like.

Next they complain about the Thais and want to change everything.

Reminds you of Colonial India does it not?

[polecat]

I very much doubt you have ever lived in a village for a long period of time, I was brought up in such an enviroment. There people actually took offence if you walked by and did not speak!!

Weird how the whole world doesn't operate like the village where you grew up, eh?

BTW, in this village of yours, were people's eyes a little too close together?

[sanook2me]

Why do farangs do that funny invisible walk, posture, starey things and are more focused on ignoring you than acknowledging you with a nod or hello! when walking towards another farang in an un touristy area?

It has happend countless times too me but i have just had it happen while walking back home and have remembered to ask about it.

I have just passed another farang and we were walking towards each other for over 100 yds and as we got closer it was quite obvious he was doing the i cannot see you walk... ... i looked, nodded and said hello as we passed while he scratched his ear to avoid making contact....

why do people feel the need to do this?

I don't get it. Everyone does this to anyone anywhere in the world. I live in farangland and I walk past people of my same coloring and nationality all the time without saying hello to them. Why should it be any different? Thais walk past each other all the time and don't say anything to each other. If you were the only two foreigners in the country it might be different, but it's not as if you haven't seen a farang person before and vice versa. In short, your topic is kind of stupid as this is not some special behaviour of farang. You've spent too much time in Thailand lumping all non-Thais into the same boat. It lacks thought. Take a step back and realize what you're saying.

You don't get it, do you...

Its not about saying hello to everyone its why the farang makes more effort to ignore than to say hi...its a peculiar querk that happens now and again and its very strange.

I'm talking about encounters in none touristy areas where farangs are rare. Not Sukhumvit or Silom.

Myself i say hello and leave it upto them.

[tw25rw]

I don't avoid them, but feel safer in places where they are around. Individually, I couldn't care less about them.

[brahmburgers]

"familiarity breeds contempt" maybe contempt is too strong a word, but the adage fits.

It's mostly a psychological thing. Nearly all long-term farang in Thailand are middle aged westerners from N.Amer or Europe. Most have things to hide and/or parts of their identity that they don't have reflected back on themselves. Many have debaucherous thoughts about younger women/men and would rather keep that buttoned up except perhaps among their closest friends.

The lukewarm 'contempt' for what's familiar (their fellow farang) often leads to them being outwardly and demonstratedly drawn to locals. Part of that is they're more likely to the 'oh wow' reaction from locals (from whatever they say). Tell a bar girl or her mother that you're a carpenter from Leeds, and you're likely get the equivalant of 'oh m'god!' with peals of giggles in response. Doubtful you'd get the sort of response from a fellow farang.

I give greetings to all sorts of people during the course of my days - Thais of all ages, farang of all ages, other Asians, Africans, ....all types. More often than not they're reciprocated. Growing up, I was frightfully shy, and learned long ago how to be 'removed' and 'distant' and how to cover up feelings and avoid eye contact. Avoidance is easy.

The late great author Studs Terkel said something like "everyone has a story" (or ...has a novel). Anyhow, take a little time to get to know somebody, and chances are they have some cool stories/insights to relate. Even a person with Down's syndrome (retarded) might brighten up your life if you took a few moments to share.

If the rural area I came from, nearly every time you passed someone coming your way on a road, there was a token greeting. That's part of the charm of residing in a small community (yes, there can be drawbacks too, tell me about it). Thais don't seem to have a tradition of greeting strangers - even if they're way off the beaten track. So maybe that partially explains why farang are generally distant - they're adopting the 'ignore strangers' attitude of Thais. Realistically, whether Thai or farang, even stick-in-the-mud types will acknowledge a greeting, though they won't initiate it (They consider it wimpy or desperate - to initiate a greeting to a stranger).

If they were just knocked down by a motorbike, you can bet they'd be a lot more open to making a connection. Then their self-isolation evaporates in a second.

[473geo]

I very much doubt you have ever lived in a village for a long period of time, I was brought up in such an enviroment. There people actually took offence if you walked by and did not speak!!

Weird how the whole world doesn't operate like the village where you grew up, eh?

BTW, in this village of yours, were people's eyes a little too close together?

Not wierd at all it is fact..... ...of course the world over is not the same

But a rather sad fact that people are not relaxed confident enough to raise a smile or a nod......

[DerringDo]

Nothing wrong with sharing a nod and a smile.

Ignorant people will always be ignorant in whatever country they're in. The post(s) about having a shared experience are probably the best reason for a friendly nod.

[rott]

Why do farangs do that funny invisible walk, posture, starey things and are more focused on ignoring you than acknowledging you with a nod or hello! when walking towards another farang in an un touristy area?

It has happend countless times too me but i have just had it happen while walking back home and have remembered to ask about it.

I have just passed another farang and we were walking towards each other for over 100 yds and as we got closer it was quite obvious he was doing the i cannot see you walk... ... i looked, nodded and said hello as we passed while he scratched his ear to avoid making contact....

why do people feel the need to do this?

Agree with you completely, as others have said, a nod and a smile costs nothing. When I see a farang deliberately avoiding my eye I make it a stronger point to say hello. I definitely don't crave his company any more than he seeks mine, but simple civility can't hurt anyone.

[spysee]

Well if someone nods at me I will give a nod back.

But I wouldnt start nodding at people because there not Thai, not sure why people would do that

[phutoie2]

In the 1980's my first wife (a German girl) used to say if she was locked in a room with 10 complete strangers, within 10 minutes she would have introduced herself to everyone, found out their names and a little about them.

I (English) used to say that if I was in that room and found out if any of them were darned foreigners I would completely ignore them or, be fighting the so & so's.

She always used to remind me how polite the Germans are, Guten Morgen this and Guten Tag that!!

Cock all to do with Thailand I know, but I did say hello to two Dutch guys! out on the golf course last week, usual banter - 'having a good round chaps'- kind of surprised myself.

[Tod Daniels]

To be honest, most of the foreign contingent I have met and/or seen in this country after living here over 4 years are people I wouldn't piss on if they were on fire (even if I had to piss at the time they were burning).

I can count on one had with fingers left over the number of genuine foreigners I have met here. The reverse is; I quickly ran out of fingers and toes counting the myriad of miscreants and ne’er-do-wells that populate this place. Some foreigners misguidedly think the fact that both of us being foreign here is in fact a mythical bond of some sort.

I am continually amazed at the audacity, cheek, and/or sheer stupidity of some foreigners and their endless line of questions upon just meeting them. I am routinely asked by people I don’t know from Adam, where I come from and always reply; "America". The immediate follow up question is; "What state, city, etc." As I don't usually know the person asking I say, "I don't know you from a limbless street beggar, so it's really none of your business." It’s the same when they proudly state to me they have a thai wife who is a “good girl”. I always answer back, “You know when I was a boy I had a cocker spaniel.”

As I don't portray the image of the most approachable or chatty person, most foreigners more than are reticent to talk to me, something I am always thankful for.

So if you see someone wearing a KISS t-shirt, walking with a cane, and I don’t acknowledge you, or nod hello, don’t take it personally. As you don’t contribute to my happiness and/or wellbeing here one satang’s worth, that makes you even less significant that the plethora of thais that seem to populate this small S/E Asian country.

[rott]

To be honest, most of the foreign contingent I have met and/or seen in this country after living here over 4 years are people I wouldn't piss on if they were on fire (even if I had to piss at the time they were burning).

I can count on one had with fingers left over the number of genuine foreigners I have met here. The reverse is; I quickly ran out of fingers and toes counting the myriad of miscreants and ne'er-do-wells that populate this place. Some foreigners misguidedly think the fact that both of us being foreign here is in fact a mythical bond of some sort.

I am continually amazed at the audacity, cheek, and/or sheer stupidity of some foreigners and their endless line of questions upon just meeting them. I am routinely asked by people I don't know from Adam, where I come from and always reply; "America". The immediate follow up question is; "What state, city, etc." As I don't usually know the person asking I say, "I don't know you from a limbless street beggar, so it's really none of your business." It's the same when they proudly state to me they have a thai wife who is a "good girl". I always answer back, "You know when I was a boy I had a cocker spaniel."

As I don't portray the image of the most approachable or chatty person, most foreigners more than are reticent to talk to me, something I am always thankful for.

So if you see someone wearing a KISS t-shirt, walking with a cane, and I don't acknowledge you, or nod hello, don't take it personally. As you don't contribute to my happiness and/or wellbeing here one satang's worth, that makes you even less significant that the plethora of thais that seem to populate this small S/E Asian country.

You need to stay in more t-d, might make LOS a pleasanter place.

Edited May 25, 2009 by rott

[thetitan99]

It does say a lot about the world we live in. People have no problem jumping on this forum and flaming some poor bastard for voicing an unpopular opinion, discussing their wive's shortcomings, their own great sexual prowess and any other number of inane or personal topics, but make an art out of ignoring people standing right in front of them. Too bad for those who can't comunicate without protective barriers... I believe Pink Floyd made an album addressing this unfortunate phenomenon...

Edited May 25, 2009 by thetitan99

[bravingbangkok]

I like to keep myself to myself in Bangkok and Thailand at large, it is not because I am ignorant or despise my fellow expats but merely because I have a good group of friends from school and uni and I doubt any wondering expat can offer me anything better...could be wrong though.

Also a lot of expats out here as tex stated on the first page are just silly little kids who run around chasing bar girls in Nana and think they are really tough, fair play to them I can remember a time when I was like that but not anymore. No aim in life just booze and pussy and we all know how it will end !

A very good point made about just because they are not Thai does not mean we have to automatically talk to them.

Edited May 25, 2009 by bravingbangkok

[tahaan]

To be honest, most of the foreign contingent I have met and/or seen in this country after living here over 4 years are people I wouldn't piss on if they were on fire (even if I had to piss at the time they were burning).

I can count on one had with fingers left over the number of genuine foreigners I have met here. The reverse is; I quickly ran out of fingers and toes counting the myriad of miscreants and ne'er-do-wells that populate this place. Some foreigners misguidedly think the fact that both of us being foreign here is in fact a mythical bond of some sort.

I am continually amazed at the audacity, cheek, and/or sheer stupidity of some foreigners and their endless line of questions upon just meeting them. I am routinely asked by people I don't know from Adam, where I come from and always reply; "America". The immediate follow up question is; "What state, city, etc." As I don't usually know the person asking I say, "I don't know you from a limbless street beggar, so it's really none of your business." It's the same when they proudly state to me they have a thai wife who is a "good girl". I always answer back, "You know when I was a boy I had a cocker spaniel."

As I don't portray the image of the most approachable or chatty person, most foreigners more than are reticent to talk to me, something I am always thankful for.

So if you see someone wearing a KISS t-shirt, walking with a cane, and I don't acknowledge you, or nod hello, don't take it personally. As you don't contribute to my happiness and/or wellbeing here one satang's worth, that makes you even less significant that the plethora of thais that seem to populate this small S/E Asian country.

You need to stay in more t-d, might make LOS a pleasanter place.

I agree. And who'd want to say hello to someone who's been wearing the same tee shirt for the last 4 years?

[bravingbangkok]

"I am continually amazed at the audacity, cheek, and/or sheer stupidity of some foreigners and their endless line of questions upon just meeting them. I am routinely asked by people I don't know from Adam, where I come from and always reply; "America". The immediate follow up question is; "What state, city, etc." As I don't usually know the person asking I say, "I don't know you from a limbless street beggar, so it's really none of your business." It's the same when they proudly state to me they have a thai wife who is a "good girl". I always answer back, "You know when I was a boy I had a cocker spaniel."

HAHAHAHAHA God how true that is about the questioning, If you look respectable and look like you have a bit of dosh I think you get it worse as they want to lock onto what is it that you are doing that is making you have a smooth life out here.

[hhgz]

If you need frequent affirmation of your life, I suggest you get a dog. You can cut out a "hand", and tape it to the dog's tail. Every time it sees you, it will "wave".

[Milo]

It would never occur to me to acknowledge another farang on the streets of Bangkok...or Udon Thani for that matter. There are tons of them. Now if I encountered one in Na Klang, it might be a different story

I like to know the farangs that live in or near my Ban (outside Udon) we have,maybe,something in common.

Some farang in the Supermarket?No chance.And he may even be English or from the Us of A!Brrrrr...........

When first came to Udorn 8yrs ago it WAS different, stopped and chatted for a reasonable conversation rather than pidgin English! Few years later, the 'nod' came in as Farang numbers rose, now so many around only go into town if I can't possibly get out of it! Manage to keep my visits down to around twice a year with a little careful planning...

Not the Farang per se, just 'progress' I suppose, traffic/parking's now hard work, far easier to send the missus in on her scooter! I'll just sit here with the half dozen we have in our village & sink another cold one!!

[astral]

Since you appear to be British, I find this rather a strange question.

1. The British do not go around saying hello to all and sundry especially on holiday.

2. When I travel I want to meet the local people, not mix with tourists.