Thai Wife Wants To Keep Uk Born Daughter In Thailand

[muaylaosfalang]

Hello

The first post i make is a most sad and distressing one for me,I live in the uk with my thai wife and our 19 month old uk born daughter..

Firstly, CONGRATULATIONS! Chockdee!

Secondly, start by using the phrase OUR child and try to remember the reasons WHY you have a child with a Thai. It is most likely cause you are over 30 and its impossible nowadays to find a female interested in having children in Europe and the US etc. Luckily we men have THAILAND! So heres the thing. Thai women are NOT happy living in a foreign country. My beautiful Thai wife of 5 years was not happy living in Europe and when she wanted to return to LOS. At first i was hesitant but quickly relented despite our daughter having duel Irish and Thai nationality. BEST thing ever! The reasons are endless, family support, happier people, better food, nicer weather, etc. (Though one nice thing about having the birth in Eu etc is the 8000 Baht monthly children allowance we get from the EU My advice to you is to FORGET THE UK (and the EU) and concentrate on creating a good life (at a fraction of the cost) for your child in LOS. Do not go down the legal route as you WILL only end up with a bunch of legal bills and endless bitterness.

Fantasia i dont know how to take your post?

Im not asking for marriage and life advice cheers fella!

If you read my post i did write "our child" not that my phraseing should matter to you.

Arran P thanks for your post and all the best to you and your family for the future.

I only want to know for sure will a 21 month old baby get fined for overstay please.

[Boo]

I only want to know for sure will a 21 month old baby get fined for overstay please.

no

[fantaasia]

Hello

The first post i make is a most sad and distressing one for me,I live in the uk with my thai wife and our 19 month old uk born daughter..

Firstly, CONGRATULATIONS! Chockdee!

Secondly, start by using the phrase OUR child and try to remember the reasons WHY you have a child with a Thai. It is most likely cause you are ..blah blah

Fantasia i dont know how to take your post?

Im not asking for marriage and life advice cheers fella!

If you read my post i did write "our child" not that my phraseing should matter to you.

Arran P thanks for your post and all the best to you and your family for the future.

I only want to know for sure will a 21 month old baby get fined for overstay please.

muaylaosfalang my sincere apologies as you did consistently use the phrase OUR child. Sorry about that mate.

[bswift1234]

Hi,Im Brian,I live in ireland,I had just your problem last year,my son was born here and holds an irish passport,same thing happened ,we went on holiday and my girlfriend decided she wanted to stay and keep our son with her,it turned out both she and her family wanted money whitch was 20,000 euro,to let him return home, i had to marry her and pay her dad the money then the 3 of us could go home,how i actually got him back was i started court proceedings,first for gaurdingship,and then for custidy,there is no legal aid in thailand,meaning any lawyers they had, the family had to pay him themselves ,when they realised i was not going to back down and was prepared to take them through the courts they knew they would not have the money to fight me ,they were advised this could bankrupt them,anyway before the court they backed down and i got him home,i am now split from her and fighting through the irish courts for him,your thai wife i dont think can get a thai passport ,my ex girlfriend tried that but because my name was on his birth cert she couldnd get one without me agreeing ,also if you know people close to her family talk to them they could pressure the family to send her back,my ex girlfriend neighbours all started to shun her and her family when they heard what was happening,,keep fighting i know its terrible what your going through ive been there

Hello

The first post i make is a most sad and distressing one for me,I live in the uk with my thai wife and our 19 month old uk born daughter had a holiday in Thailand arrived 1/4/09 we submitted another settlement visa on 3/4/09 did the online application and submitted all the docs 3/4/09 tracking system states sent to uk embassy now i'm back in england wife and baby in isaan.Wife lands a bombshell and says she no longer wants to return to the uk to live with me and intends to keep our baby girl in Thailand the baby is british passport holder no dual nationality on a tourist visa valid 21/6/09.I still hope i can talk my wife round to return to uk with our baby once visa is issued but she is also talking of obtaining a thai passport also for our baby to counter any border runs and tighten her grip of custody of our baby.I realize there probably is no thai lawyers on here but i'm desperate for any help or advice.I've checked the net and seems embassy help is little to non and looks like dealing with Thai lawyers wise in family law is the other option.Though i hope i can sort our marriage out by talking with my wife i need advice.Help anyone please.

[muaylaosfalang]

Hi Brian

Thanks for the post all very true legal proceedings scare most Thais ie the cost as you say.

I got some advice via Isaan Lawyers here and talked my wife around!

I said if i cant talk you around i'll see her in the courts of Bangkok.

Her plane ticket is booked and she's flying back to uk with our baby next month.

Happy Ending Buddha only knows.

Chok Dee

[Darkling]

Interesting dilemma.

Aside from just natural curiosity as to WHY the wife does not want to go back to the UK (seems like she had a bad enough experience and not enough love or reason to want to return), I have a few questions for the Board:

1. Since the British child is in Thailand on a tourist visa and cannot get a Thai birth certificate, what happens when the child overstays?

2. Will immigration start racking up the fines?

3. Who will be responsible for paying them - the wife?

4. What happens if she can't/doesn't?

5. Will the child have to be deported back to UK?

Very interesting dilemma...

children under the age of 7 can not be fined for over stay.

[scorecard]

Hammer you are a penis or a small man gobbing off via the net!

I assure you in the real world you would not shout your views at me.

Your post has nothing to do with the question i asked so shut your mouth.

Dear muaylaosfalang,

What image do you think your setting up here when you post messages like this?

You are a father. All fathers have a strong responsibility to be good role models for their children to learn from. I certainly hope your not teaching your children to have attitudes and reactions like the above.

Calm down man. There a lot of sensible and logical advice for you already on this forum, but you need to slow down and take it step by step.

Being involved in relationships, even very good ones is hard work, and you need to work on it every day, anybody will tell you that. As adults it's all part of daily life, it's time consuming and it has many frustrations.

Good luck.

[scorecard]

Today i speak to my wife for 45mins she is still open to talk although she still is not happy with the situation,I have emailed isaan lawyers and got a swift reply telling me to sort out the marriage without legal action is the best course other than that the other option is a more than likely long expensive custody battle me in uk having to go to Thailand to appear as is posted above we have joint care over the baby but she has possion of our baby she's in Thailand im in England to confirm again our baby was born in England looks like a Thai birth certificate and Thai Passport can be obtained by the mother this wont strenghten her almost secure grip i dont think?But problems may arise possibly if she waits past the tourist visa expiry date on my uk passport of my daughter to do this?.Some posters above think the Thai BC can only be obtained via the embassy where my baby was born London uk but i think that is where Dual Nationality can be obtained.I think my fight lays in convincing my wife that all her worrys about her life in uk ie my attidude can and will be changed by me.Thankyou for the replys here and i will keep updated on this and also when the wives settlement visa is ready submitted 3/4/09 i have posted this in a thread in that section.

You wrote: ".....I think my fight lays in convincing my wife that all her worrys about her life in uk ie my attidude can and will be changed by me.Thankyou for the replys here and i will keep updated on this and also when the wives settlement ....."

These are your own words. With all respect to you, can I please suggest:

- Set yourself a long-term goal, write it down, describe in three or four bullet points what the desired long-term situation (the goal) will look like (the end result). Put it somewhere you must look at it every day.

- Make a solid analysis of yourself, be very very honest, and don't assume that you are the perfect person in this relationship - everybody has faults - be brave and identify your weaknesses in depth.

- Make a plan, with several steps to get to your ultimate goal.

- Describe what behaviors and attitudes you need to change, write down the new you, make a mental model of what you are will be in your new picture.

- Work on the first step first, don't try to jump to the end result in 5 minutes, most of us can't do that.

- Perhaps you could select a good role model, someone who is calm and balanced and gets through problems by taking the time to think about the situation, rather then instant often inbalanced quick assumptions*, and then move forward step by step.

- Don't forget, life has frustrations every day for everybody, in very country, rich or poor.

- Relationships are hard work, very good relationships are hard work, but there's lot of good return.

Good luck.

* Look on the internet for 'Amygdala hijack'.

The Amygdala is a small part of the human brain, everybody's brain, which makes very quick instantaneous decisions based on incomplete information (it's sometimes called the 'fight or flee' mechanism), before the larger part of the process area of the brain makes a more balanced and rationsal analysis and decision.

The quick decisions made by the Amygdala are often imbalanced (we've all been in the situation where we quickly say something / do something, then realize a few seconds later that our words or actions very quite inappropriate, hurtful, wrong, etc.)

[muaylaosfalang]

Scorecard thanks for your post

I found Hammer's post to be patronizing,insulting,and rude flaming at best!

Most posts on this thread have been helpfull and supportive a few have wound me up.

It may be just a internet thread for some buts its my life and it was all true.

I take on your posts with interest and although im wild at times my kids and myself are/will be

a very positive part of society.

I have also thanked and will thank again to all poster's here who gave me advice and info on my problem.

Thankyou all

[Datsun240Z]

Hello

The first post i make is a most sad and distressing one for me,I live in the uk with my thai wife and our 19 month old uk born daughter had a holiday in Thailand arrived 1/4/09 we submitted another settlement visa on 3/4/09 did the online application and submitted all the docs 3/4/09 tracking system states sent to uk embassy now i'm back in england wife and baby in isaan.Wife lands a bombshell and says she no longer wants to return to the uk to live with me and intends to keep our baby girl in Thailand the baby is british passport holder no dual nationality on a tourist visa valid 21/6/09.I still hope i can talk my wife round to return to uk with our baby once visa is issued but she is also talking of obtaining a thai passport also for our baby to counter any border runs and tighten her grip of custody of our baby.I realize there probably is no thai lawyers on here but i'm desperate for any help or advice.I've checked the net and seems embassy help is little to non and looks like dealing with Thai lawyers wise in family law is the other option.Though i hope i can sort our marriage out by talking with my wife i need advice.Help anyone please.

Another story. Unbelievable what those Thai wifes do....

She is so dumb, scared, or has family influence, UK will be a far better life for her.

Edited July 23, 2009 by Datsun240Z

[bswift1234]

glad your getting all sorted ,but maybe next time have a second thought before letting baby go back again ,,once bitten and all that ,good luck

Hi Brian

Thanks for the post all very true legal proceedings scare most Thais ie the cost as you say.

I got some advice via Isaan Lawyers here and talked my wife around!

I said if i cant talk you around i'll see her in the courts of Bangkok.

Her plane ticket is booked and she's flying back to uk with our baby next month.

Happy Ending Buddha only knows.

Chok Dee