The "good" Thai Wife Is A Subjective Term

cognos · May 27, 2009

After falling in love with LOS,butterflying for a year or 2 and finding that somewhat wanting,I decided it would be great to have a Thai wife,despite the plethora of Vietnam vets and others in Pattaya and elsewhere saying just rent them, never marry them. I had certain qualities in mind for her not written in stone,but ironically she possessed all of them,except for the temper I have to watch out for and saw only once so far (oops,won't do that again).

1. a good kind heart, and very fun to be with

2. from a good family (I did not care if she or her family were well off financially or not)

3. a university degree

4. very attractive and sensual

5. not a drinker, (I'll do that on occasion thanks) , not a bar worker (it's often the farang that help make the bar girl dysfunctional in degrees; there are some good bar girls, but I did not want to go that route.)

6. not young enough to be my daughter ( I'm 52,her 37)

7. from the south,but I didn't care much, it just turned out that way..

..and for those of you who would be sarcastic, go ahead; I couldn't care less..if all you need is a "puzzy" for the quality, up to you. My motive for writing this is not for you,but for those who are undecided about their choice of Thai gf or wife..there are loads of great Thai women out there, it's just that the bad stories are popular..for example the myth that Thai women are all on the take. If you believe that,then you can also make it a self-fulfilling prophesy and just keep renting them..but you have a choice, so make the best one for you,and take good care.

slapout · May 27, 2009

I am kind of partial to the deaf/mute

Pierrot · May 27, 2009

After falling in love with LOS,butterflying for a year or 2 and finding that somewhat wanting,I decided it would be great to have a Thai wife,despite the plethora of Vietnam vets and others in Pattaya and elsewhere saying just rent them, never marry them. I had certain qualities in mind for her not written in stone,but ironically she possessed all of them,except for the temper I have to watch out for and saw only once so far (oops,won't do that again).
1. a good kind heart, and very fun to be with

2. from a good family (I did not care if she or her family were well off financially or not)

3. a university degree

4. very attractive and sensual

5. not a drinker, (I'll do that on occasion thanks) , not a bar worker (it's often the farang that help make the bar girl dysfunctional in degrees; there are some good bar girls, but I did not want to go that route.)

6. not young enough to be my daughter ( I'm 52,her 37)

7. from the south,but I didn't care much, it just turned out that way..

..and for those of you who would be sarcastic, go ahead; I couldn't care less..if all you need is a "puzzy" for the quality, up to you. My motive for writing this is not for you,but for those who are undecided about their choice of Thai gf or wife..there are loads of great Thai women out there, it's just that the bad stories are popular..for example the myth that Thai women are all on the take. If you believe that,then you can also make it a self-fulfilling prophesy and just keep renting them..but you have a choice, so make the best one for you,and take good care.

I completely agree with you. I know the subject may be taboo but for a successive relationship I believe both partners should come from a similar social background. We have to be honest, we have family, we have friends. Everybody should be comfortable with each other or it will be difficult for the relation to last. I don't really know why people here keep on calling middle class Thai "HiSo" but all the mix lasting relationship I know fit Cognos description

Geekfreaklover · May 27, 2009

I am kind of partial to the deaf/mute

orphan.

BigSnake · May 27, 2009

Subjective is the Best Term, my very best friend Donald have had two Thai wives, this is his third he will tell you in a heartbeat the other were pure Thai TRASH, current one is a gift from above, I have known her for 12 and a half years and I am incline to concur with his, however as a subject of her ex-Thai Husband, I'm sure he would disagree

cognos · May 27, 2009

I am kind of partial to the deaf/mute

Then you were born too late to marry Helen Keller

BigSnake · May 27, 2009

Subjective is the Best Term, my very best friend Donald have had two Thai wives, this is his third he will tell you in a heartbeat the other were pure Thai TRASH, current one is a gift from above, I have known her for 12 and a half years and I am incline to concur with his, however as a subject to her ex-Thai Husband, I'm sure he would disagree

villagefarang · May 27, 2009

Reminds me of one of my old Topics that I called Thai Girl Checklist.

cognos · May 27, 2009

Reminds me of one of my old Topics that I called Thai Girl Checklist.

Funny how the checklist becomes the reality, especially if you like her family and help out here and there

Pash · May 27, 2009

After falling in love with LOS,butterflying for a year or 2 and finding that somewhat wanting,I decided it would be great to have a Thai wife,despite the plethora of Vietnam vets and others in Pattaya and elsewhere saying just rent them, never marry them. I had certain qualities in mind for her not written in stone,but ironically she possessed all of them,except for the temper I have to watch out for and saw only once so far (oops,won't do that again).
1. a good kind heart, and very fun to be with

2. from a good family (I did not care if she or her family were well off financially or not)

3. a university degree

4. very attractive and sensual

5. not a drinker, (I'll do that on occasion thanks) , not a bar worker (it's often the farang that help make the bar girl dysfunctional in degrees; there are some good bar girls, but I did not want to go that route.)

6. not young enough to be my daughter ( I'm 52,her 37)

7. from the south,but I didn't care much, it just turned out that way..

..and for those of you who would be sarcastic, go ahead; I couldn't care less..if all you need is a "puzzy" for the quality, up to you. My motive for writing this is not for you,but for those who are undecided about their choice of Thai gf or wife..there are loads of great Thai women out there, it's just that the bad stories are popular..for example the myth that Thai women are all on the take. If you believe that,then you can also make it a self-fulfilling prophesy and just keep renting them..but you have a choice, so make the best one for you,and take good care.

I completely agree with you. I know the subject may be taboo but for a successive relationship I believe both partners should come from a similar social background. We have to be honest, we have family, we have friends. Everybody should be comfortable with each other or it will be difficult for the relation to last. I don't really know why people here keep on calling middle class Thai "HiSo" but all the mix lasting relationship I know fit Cognos description

bravingbangkok · May 27, 2009

How many more of these posts to we have to put up with ?

Edited May 27, 2009 by bravingbangkok

JimmyJones · May 27, 2009

Find a good Thai wife... My advice...if you live here, better to import your bride from another SE Asian country, unless you admit to the facts of what you are getting into... My credentials: 15 years living and working in Thailand as a manager of a large company.... NOT ex-military, NOT living as a "ghost" and making visa runs and worrying about changes to the immigration laws that make it harder to stay in Thailand shacked up with my ex-bargirlfriend. That's not me. I have condos, cars and access to "normal" Thai society. Many writers in these types of forums are involved with bargirls. If you are one of these types, don't waste your time reading this, as you need to evolve beyond that phase. The guys who believe that "she just needs someone to take her out of the bar and then she will be normal", the guys that sit in Pattaya beer bars at 11AM waiting for the night to come, the guys that think that their situation is an exception...well, you will evolve after she takes all your money or leaves you or both. Normal Thai's hate bargirls and so should you. I can remember a sleazy bar in my hometown in the US when you could see a few drunk, tattooed losers who smelled like last nights puke and have endless hard-luck stories. These are the sisters of your bargirl. Why anyone would want to "get to know them and their family" and give them access to your financial future is beyond me. Anyway, enough about bargirls. POINT #1 At the moment, I am dating four normal Thai girls. They are all university educated, have their own cars, their own apartments, and have respectable jobs. These jobs range from marketing to account managers for financial firms. There is no money involved with any of them, and sometimes they offer to pay for dinner. One of them said her last boyfriend wasted his money on gadgets when he should have invested more in mutual funds in the US. Ever here something like that from your upcountry girlfriend?

Of course, with the financial crisis, maybe it would have made better sense to invest in a new water buffalo for the family in Ubon after all! Anyway, when asked, three out of four of these Bangkok girls say "all Thai girls lie".

I ventured that maybe 85% do, but they said NO ... ALL!. One (the account manager) said that if I were her boyfriend, she would still cheat on me, because "looking for the better deal" was the normal goal. This is not a statistically significant sample, but it does make you think.... POINT #2 How many successful marriages between Thai's and farangs do you know of? By "successful", I mean a STABLE, married couple that you might imagine meeting back home. I do NOT mean the marriage where the guy is drunk in the pub every night because he knows he is stuck, or the girl who comes home at 9AM from a night out drinking with her friend named "Lek". I am thinking of a married couple where they love each other and pool their resources from the jobs or business to buy a home, expand the business, or put their kids in a better school. In other words, plan together for a future. Now, how many successful marriages between, say, Vietnamese or Filipino or Chinese and Westerners do you know of....? Probably more. Thailand is different from every other culture in SE Asia ... I believe these differences make it very difficult for a successful marriage between Thai and Westerner. Not impossible, just difficult. I have had girlfriends from Indonesian, China, Philippines, Malaysia, Cambodia and Singapore. In one way or another, these countries share some aspect of their culture that is in tune with Western thinking. The populations of Indonesia and Malaysia are predominately Muslim with a smaller Christian minority. The Philippines is Catholic. Vietnam is not associated with a particular religion, but there are a lot of Catholics. But Thailand is different in that it is primarily Buddhist, along with "something else". Unlike the other major religions that I just mentioned, Buddhism is a humanist religion...that is, they don't worship a deity, but rather they strive to achieve a particular harmony in physical life, not after-life. My point is, the girls that I have known in the other countries have had better family values, and I think that a part of that comes from, frankly, a "fear of God". It gives them a different aspect on the meaning of right and wrong. I think it gives them a conscience as well. The values of Buddhism do not try to instill fear, but rather a way to live life. I don't pretend to understand a lot about Buddhism, but I don't believe that what is practiced here is not what you may think ..... The Buddha said "do not worship me, or worship images of me" but in Thailand everyone wears a Buddha amulet. There are markets that trade these amulets, and some sell for millions of baht because they were carved by a famous monk. Some amulets are believed to deflect bullets! Even the meaning of Karma is distorted. The meaning is basically, "what goes around come around" and if you do bad, it will come back to you". But many here see the meaning as "I shouldn't do bad because I will get punished" without understanding why something is "bad" in the first place. Lying is an epidemic ... but it's not called lying. It's "avoiding conflict" or "avoiding loss of face". Withholding information is not considered lying. If your girl goes out with another guy, it is not a lie because you didn't catch her, or you didn't ask. But one of the worst aspects is the "face" issue. In many cases, the parents and relatives living upcountry are not sitting around watching the rice grain wave in the wind or praying in the temple. They are involved in an inter-community pissing contest as to "why so-and-so got a bigger flat screen TV from her daughter in Bangkok than I did".

For Bangkok girls, it is your sophomore year in high school all over again, with the people with the car and the Macbook being more popular than those without. Who is going to the HiSo club and who's boyfriend (read:"FRIEND") is giving them the most toys. There is the additional belief in "Sanuk" ... that you should avoid things that are not fun. This is a philosophy for 5 year olds. Do you really want a wife who believes that? Finally, there is a growing migration of "bargirl-like" attributes from the bar into middle class Thai society. The excellent article below describes this ... it wasn't too long ago that even a rich and well-connected farang would have little chance to meet a normal Thai girl. Their families would disapprove. However, in the past 10 years, you can see more and more so-called normal Thai girls managing multiple farang "sugar-daddies" via SMS, asking for money and IPOD/computers and LV purses, and these guys don't know about each other. If they DO find out, well, then "he's just my FRIEND" or "oh, he's GAY". This article below is SO TRUE from my personal experience that I was almost in tears from laughing after reading it...especially the way lying is so natural, and so accepted. Again, I am talking about so-called "good girls".

My ex-girlfriend from Indonesia (she's Muslim and married to a Brit guy now...I know him too) once told me "you should look for a girl that contributes to the relationship...not just a needy and clinging girl who happens to have a nice body". This really opened my eyes. I used to think as well that the "social contract" here was, I bring the financial support to the relationship, and she brings the cute body. But you can have a cute girl who can contribute as well, and not just bring a load of problems from upcountry and needs to impress her Thai girlfriends with the latest fashions. One last thing...when I meet a girl in a country like Malaysia or Philippines, I often know her whole life story in 30 minutes...sometimes when I DON'T even want to know!

With some Thai girls, it took a month to find out their real name. This is called "story" ...as in "I will tell you my STORY when I know you better" . The definition of STORY is basically "a collection of mistakes and bad decisions made throughout my life that I am looking for someone to fix for me"

To close, I hope not to offend anyone here..and there are many farang guys who are users and abusers as well. Good luck...

Kaks · May 27, 2009

How many more of these posts to we have to put up with ?

And how many times do we have to put up with snide comments on threads. If your not interested in a thread then don't bloody look at it.

churchill · May 27, 2009

I am not sure but -

Last night my wife said to me, "What would you do without me?" Apparently, "Your sister" was the wrong answer

Maigo6 · May 27, 2009

I am not sure but -
Last night my wife said to me, "What would you do without me?" Apparently, "Your sister" was the wrong answer

LOL.......

I'm in the same boat, 20 year old sister who lives with us and brings her college friends round....

I wanna adopt a few of them.

robblok · May 27, 2009

I am not sure but -
Last night my wife said to me, "What would you do without me?" Apparently, "Your sister" was the wrong answer

LOL.......

I'm in the same boat, 20 year old sister who lives with us and brings her college friends round....

I wanna adopt a few of them.

Hehehehe... just like when my wife brings friends over.. So cute.. wife told me i can look and touch.. she just makes sure the girls arent interested in me.

Geekfreaklover · May 27, 2009

Find a good Thai wife...[/size] My advice...if you live here, better to import your bride from another SE Asian country, unless you admit to the facts of what you are getting into... My credentials: 15 years living and working in Thailand as a manager of a large company.... NOT ex-military, NOT living as a "ghost" and making visa runs and worrying about changes to the immigration laws that make it harder to stay in Thailand shacked up with my ex-bargirlfriend. That's not me. I have condos, cars and access to "normal" Thai society. Many writers in these types of forums are involved with bargirls. If you are one of these types, don't waste your time reading this, as you need to evolve beyond that phase. The guys who believe that "she just needs someone to take her out of the bar and then she will be normal", the guys that sit in Pattaya beer bars at 11AM waiting for the night to come, the guys that think that their situation is an exception...well, you will evolve after she takes all your money or leaves you or both. Normal Thai's hate bargirls and so should you. I can remember a sleazy bar in my hometown in the US when you could see a few drunk, tattooed losers who smelled like last nights puke and have endless hard-luck stories. These are the sisters of your bargirl. Why anyone would want to "get to know them and their family" and give them access to your financial future is beyond me. Anyway, enough about bargirls. POINT #1 At the moment, I am dating four normal Thai girls. They are all university educated, have their own cars, their own apartments, and have respectable jobs. These jobs range from marketing to account managers for financial firms. There is no money involved with any of them, and sometimes they offer to pay for dinner. One of them said her last boyfriend wasted his money on gadgets when he should have invested more in mutual funds in the US. Ever here something like that from your upcountry girlfriend?
Of course, with the financial crisis, maybe it would have made better sense to invest in a new water buffalo for the family in Ubon after all! Anyway, when asked, three out of four of these Bangkok girls say "all Thai girls lie".

I ventured that maybe 85% do, but they said NO ... ALL!. One (the account manager) said that if I were her boyfriend, she would still cheat on me, because "looking for the better deal" was the normal goal. This is not a statistically significant sample, but it does make you think.... POINT #2 How many successful marriages between Thai's and farangs do you know of? By "successful", I mean a STABLE, married couple that you might imagine meeting back home. I do NOT mean the marriage where the guy is drunk in the pub every night because he knows he is stuck, or the girl who comes home at 9AM from a night out drinking with her friend named "Lek". I am thinking of a married couple where they love each other and pool their resources from the jobs or business to buy a home, expand the business, or put their kids in a better school. In other words, plan together for a future. Now, how many successful marriages between, say, Vietnamese or Filipino or Chinese and Westerners do you know of....? Probably more. Thailand is different from every other culture in SE Asia ... I believe these differences make it very difficult for a successful marriage between Thai and Westerner. Not impossible, just difficult. I have had girlfriends from Indonesian, China, Philippines, Malaysia, Cambodia and Singapore. In one way or another, these countries share some aspect of their culture that is in tune with Western thinking. The populations of Indonesia and Malaysia are predominately Muslim with a smaller Christian minority. The Philippines is Catholic. Vietnam is not associated with a particular religion, but there are a lot of Catholics. But Thailand is different in that it is primarily Buddhist, along with "something else". Unlike the other major religions that I just mentioned, Buddhism is a humanist religion...that is, they don't worship a deity, but rather they strive to achieve a particular harmony in physical life, not after-life. My point is, the girls that I have known in the other countries have had better family values, and I think that a part of that comes from, frankly, a "fear of God". It gives them a different aspect on the meaning of right and wrong. I think it gives them a conscience as well. The values of Buddhism do not try to instill fear, but rather a way to live life. I don't pretend to understand a lot about Buddhism, but I don't believe that what is practiced here is not what you may think ..... The Buddha said "do not worship me, or worship images of me" but in Thailand everyone wears a Buddha amulet. There are markets that trade these amulets, and some sell for millions of baht because they were carved by a famous monk. Some amulets are believed to deflect bullets! Even the meaning of Karma is distorted. The meaning is basically, "what goes around come around" and if you do bad, it will come back to you". But many here see the meaning as "I shouldn't do bad because I will get punished" without understanding why something is "bad" in the first place. Lying is an epidemic ... but it's not called lying. It's "avoiding conflict" or "avoiding loss of face". Withholding information is not considered lying. If your girl goes out with another guy, it is not a lie because you didn't catch her, or you didn't ask. But one of the worst aspects is the "face" issue. In many cases, the parents and relatives living upcountry are not sitting around watching the rice grain wave in the wind or praying in the temple. They are involved in an inter-community pissing contest as to "why so-and-so got a bigger flat screen TV from her daughter in Bangkok than I did".

For Bangkok girls, it is your sophomore year in high school all over again, with the people with the car and the Macbook being more popular than those without. Who is going to the HiSo club and who's boyfriend (read:"FRIEND") is giving them the most toys. There is the additional belief in "Sanuk" ... that you should avoid things that are not fun. This is a philosophy for 5 year olds. Do you really want a wife who believes that? Finally, there is a growing migration of "bargirl-like" attributes from the bar into middle class Thai society. The excellent article below describes this ... it wasn't too long ago that even a rich and well-connected farang would have little chance to meet a normal Thai girl. Their families would disapprove. However, in the past 10 years, you can see more and more so-called normal Thai girls managing multiple farang "sugar-daddies" via SMS, asking for money and IPOD/computers and LV purses, and these guys don't know about each other. If they DO find out, well, then "he's just my FRIEND" or "oh, he's GAY". This article below is SO TRUE from my personal experience that I was almost in tears from laughing after reading it...especially the way lying is so natural, and so accepted. Again, I am talking about so-called "good girls".

My ex-girlfriend from Indonesia (she's Muslim and married to a Brit guy now...I know him too) once told me "you should look for a girl that contributes to the relationship...not just a needy and clinging girl who happens to have a nice body". This really opened my eyes. I used to think as well that the "social contract" here was, I bring the financial support to the relationship, and she brings the cute body. But you can have a cute girl who can contribute as well, and not just bring a load of problems from upcountry and needs to impress her Thai girlfriends with the latest fashions. One last thing...when I meet a girl in a country like Malaysia or Philippines, I often know her whole life story in 30 minutes...sometimes when I DON'T even want to know!

With some Thai girls, it took a month to find out their real name. This is called "story" ...as in "I will tell you my STORY when I know you better" . The definition of STORY is basically "a collection of mistakes and bad decisions made throughout my life that I am looking for someone to fix for me"

To close, I hope not to offend anyone here..and there are many farang guys who are users and abusers as well. Good luck...

What a load of twaddle.

Maigo6 · May 27, 2009

Jimmy Jones, Kin' load of <deleted>.....................

bravingbangkok · May 27, 2009

How so ?

I would suggest otherwsie.

Maigo6 · May 27, 2009

How so ?
I would suggest otherwsie.

So you wanna live your life and make life altering decisions based on what some guy says in an anonymous internet forum..?

Go for it.....

It's when in the first part of his speech he said " I have Condos, Cars and access to normal Thai society " like it would be unusual for others to have the same, for me I would never assume any different.

I've lived in Thailand 5 years longer then he cliams he has, yet he uses that as relevant in his thought process, so do my thoughts hold more relevance as I've been here longer ?

Does a guy that has lived here only 3 years and is blissfully happy with the partner he loves give it all up after reading this post from JJ ?

Would you ?

Load of <deleted>....

Edited May 27, 2009 by Maigo6

ilovefashionTV · May 27, 2009

6. not young enough to be my daughter ( I'm 52,her 37)

She is almost young enough to be your daughter, but denial is a wonderful thing.

If i were to look for a women over here what i would look for is if i couldnt pull the equivilant said girl back home id leave it over here.

ie a hot young 18 yo who falls in love after a week or 2, and im early 30s, but each to their own.

bravingbangkok · May 27, 2009

How so ?
I would suggest otherwsie.

So you wanna live your life and make life altering decisions based on what some guy says in an anonymous internet forum..?

Go for it.....

Where did I say that ?

I think a lot of what he says makes sense and is very true. Never said anywhere that I live my life by TV pundits.

Edited May 27, 2009 by bravingbangkok

Geekfreaklover · May 27, 2009

It's not even worth pointing out the crap in Jimmy's cut and paste twaddle.

Lets just say it is like a bigoted stone skimming over the pond of ignorance.

bravingbangkok · May 27, 2009

I am not sure but -
Last night my wife said to me, "What would you do without me?" Apparently, "Your sister" was the wrong answer

LOL.......

I'm in the same boat, 20 year old sister who lives with us and brings her college friends round....

I wanna adopt a few of them.

That's a load of <deleted>, never needed to say it and only did to give yourself some sort of ego boost as you so often do Maigo

ilovefashionTV · May 27, 2009

Find a good Thai wife...[/size] My advice...if you live here, better to import your bride from another SE Asian country, unless you admit to the facts of what you are getting into...[/size] My credentials: 15 years living and working in Thailand as a manager of a large company.... NOT ex-military, NOT living as a "ghost" and making visa runs and worrying about changes to the immigration laws that make it harder to stay in Thailand shacked up with my ex-bargirlfriend. That's not me. I have condos, cars and access to "normal" Thai society. Many writers in these types of forums are involved with bargirls. If you are one of these types, don't waste your time reading this, as you need to evolve beyond that phase. The guys who believe that "she just needs someone to take her out of the bar and then she will be normal", the guys that sit in Pattaya beer bars at 11AM waiting for the night to come, the guys that think that their situation is an exception...well, you will evolve after she takes all your money or leaves you or both. Normal Thai's hate bargirls and so should you. I can remember a sleazy bar in my hometown in the US when you could see a few drunk, tattooed losers who smelled like last nights puke and have endless hard-luck stories. These are the sisters of your bargirl. Why anyone would want to "get to know them and their family" and give them access to your financial future is beyond me. Anyway, enough about bargirls. POINT #1 At the moment, I am dating four normal Thai girls. They are all university educated, have their own cars, their own apartments, and have respectable jobs. These jobs range from marketing to account managers for financial firms. There is no money involved with any of them, and sometimes they offer to pay for dinner. One of them said her last boyfriend wasted his money on gadgets when he should have invested more in mutual funds in the US. Ever here something like that from your upcountry girlfriend?
Of course, with the financial crisis, maybe it would have made better sense to invest in a new water buffalo for the family in Ubon after all! Anyway, when asked, three out of four of these Bangkok girls say "all Thai girls lie".

I ventured that maybe 85% do, but they said NO ... ALL!. One (the account manager) said that if I were her boyfriend, she would still cheat on me, because "looking for the better deal" was the normal goal. This is not a statistically significant sample, but it does make you think.... POINT #2 How many successful marriages between Thai's and farangs do you know of? By "successful", I mean a STABLE, married couple that you might imagine meeting back home. I do NOT mean the marriage where the guy is drunk in the pub every night because he knows he is stuck, or the girl who comes home at 9AM from a night out drinking with her friend named "Lek". I am thinking of a married couple where they love each other and pool their resources from the jobs or business to buy a home, expand the business, or put their kids in a better school. In other words, plan together for a future. Now, how many successful marriages between, say, Vietnamese or Filipino or Chinese and Westerners do you know of....? Probably more. Thailand is different from every other culture in SE Asia ... I believe these differences make it very difficult for a successful marriage between Thai and Westerner. Not impossible, just difficult. I have had girlfriends from Indonesian, China, Philippines, Malaysia, Cambodia and Singapore. In one way or another, these countries share some aspect of their culture that is in tune with Western thinking. The populations of Indonesia and Malaysia are predominately Muslim with a smaller Christian minority. The Philippines is Catholic. Vietnam is not associated with a particular religion, but there are a lot of Catholics. But Thailand is different in that it is primarily Buddhist, along with "something else". Unlike the other major religions that I just mentioned, Buddhism is a humanist religion...that is, they don't worship a deity, but rather they strive to achieve a particular harmony in physical life, not after-life. My point is, the girls that I have known in the other countries have had better family values, and I think that a part of that comes from, frankly, a "fear of God". It gives them a different aspect on the meaning of right and wrong. I think it gives them a conscience as well. The values of Buddhism do not try to instill fear, but rather a way to live life. I don't pretend to understand a lot about Buddhism, but I don't believe that what is practiced here is not what you may think ..... The Buddha said "do not worship me, or worship images of me" but in Thailand everyone wears a Buddha amulet. There are markets that trade these amulets, and some sell for millions of baht because they were carved by a famous monk. Some amulets are believed to deflect bullets! Even the meaning of Karma is distorted. The meaning is basically, "what goes around come around" and if you do bad, it will come back to you". But many here see the meaning as "I shouldn't do bad because I will get punished" without understanding why something is "bad" in the first place. Lying is an epidemic ... but it's not called lying. It's "avoiding conflict" or "avoiding loss of face". Withholding information is not considered lying. If your girl goes out with another guy, it is not a lie because you didn't catch her, or you didn't ask. But one of the worst aspects is the "face" issue. In many cases, the parents and relatives living upcountry are not sitting around watching the rice grain wave in the wind or praying in the temple. They are involved in an inter-community pissing contest as to "why so-and-so got a bigger flat screen TV from her daughter in Bangkok than I did".

For Bangkok girls, it is your sophomore year in high school all over again, with the people with the car and the Macbook being more popular than those without. Who is going to the HiSo club and who's boyfriend (read:"FRIEND") is giving them the most toys. There is the additional belief in "Sanuk" ... that you should avoid things that are not fun. This is a philosophy for 5 year olds. Do you really want a wife who believes that? Finally, there is a growing migration of "bargirl-like" attributes from the bar into middle class Thai society. The excellent article below describes this ... it wasn't too long ago that even a rich and well-connected farang would have little chance to meet a normal Thai girl. Their families would disapprove. However, in the past 10 years, you can see more and more so-called normal Thai girls managing multiple farang "sugar-daddies" via SMS, asking for money and IPOD/computers and LV purses, and these guys don't know about each other. If they DO find out, well, then "he's just my FRIEND" or "oh, he's GAY". This article below is SO TRUE from my personal experience that I was almost in tears from laughing after reading it...especially the way lying is so natural, and so accepted. Again, I am talking about so-called "good girls".

My ex-girlfriend from Indonesia (she's Muslim and married to a Brit guy now...I know him too) once told me "you should look for a girl that contributes to the relationship...not just a needy and clinging girl who happens to have a nice body". This really opened my eyes. I used to think as well that the "social contract" here was, I bring the financial support to the relationship, and she brings the cute body. But you can have a cute girl who can contribute as well, and not just bring a load of problems from upcountry and needs to impress her Thai girlfriends with the latest fashions. One last thing...when I meet a girl in a country like Malaysia or Philippines, I often know her whole life story in 30 minutes...sometimes when I DON'T even want to know!

With some Thai girls, it took a month to find out their real name. This is called "story" ...as in "I will tell you my STORY when I know you better" . The definition of STORY is basically "a collection of mistakes and bad decisions made throughout my life that I am looking for someone to fix for me"

To close, I hope not to offend anyone here..and there are many farang guys who are users and abusers as well. Good luck...

What a load of twaddle.

Who knows but for someone so well educated and with such a good job im surprised at his terrible use of paragraphs, capital letters and letter sizing.

He also seems to know a lot about the bar scene yet views himself as a cut above any male who spends time in it.

bravingbangkok · May 27, 2009

It's not even worth pointing out the crap in Jimmy's cut and paste twaddle.
Lets just say it is like a bigoted stone skimming over the pond of ignorance.

"For Bangkok girls, it is your sophomore year in high school all over again, with the people with the car and the Macbook being more popular than those without. Who is going to the HiSo club and who's boyfriend (read:"FRIEND") is giving them the most toys. There is the additional belief in "Sanuk" ... that you should avoid things that are not fun. This is a philosophy for 5 year olds. Do you really want a wife who believes that? Finally, there is a growing migration of "bargirl-like" attributes from the bar into middle class Thai society. The excellent article below describes this ... it wasn't too long ago that even a rich and well-connected farang would have little chance to meet a normal Thai girl. Their families would disapprove. However, in the past 10 years, you can see more and more so-called normal Thai girls managing multiple farang "sugar-daddies" via SMS, asking for money and IPOD/computers and LV purses, and these guys don't know about each other. If they DO find out, well, then "he's just my FRIEND" or "oh, he's GAY". This article below is SO TRUE from my personal experience that I was almost in tears from laughing after reading it...especially the way lying is so natural, and so accepted. Again, I am talking about so-called "good girls". "

That is a load of waddle is it ? Well then you obviously do not know what you are talking about and that goes for Maigo as well or are you just being a sheep Maigo and forgot to actually read the post ?

bravingbangkok · May 27, 2009

I think we can safely say that this was not written by Jimmy jones fair hand.

villagefarang · May 27, 2009

Jimmy Jones may not espouse a popular view or even one that is understood by many on these pages. The life experience of the typical punter does not extent to the core of what he speaks of. Though the tenor of his words may be a tad harsh, the substance of his words are far from false or twaddle.

bravingbangkok · May 27, 2009

Jimmy Jones may not espouse a popular view or even one that is understood by many on these pages. The life experience of the typical punter does not extent to the core of what he speaks of. Though the tenor of his words may be a tad harsh, the substance of his words are far from false or twaddle.

Very eloquently put.

Geekfreaklover · May 27, 2009

It's not even worth pointing out the crap in Jimmy's cut and paste twaddle.
Lets just say it is like a bigoted stone skimming over the pond of ignorance.

"For Bangkok girls, it is your sophomore year in high school all over again, with the people with the car and the Macbook being more popular than those without. Who is going to the HiSo club and who's boyfriend (read:"FRIEND") is giving them the most toys. There is the additional belief in "Sanuk" ... that you should avoid things that are not fun. This is a philosophy for 5 year olds. Do you really want a wife who believes that? Finally, there is a growing migration of "bargirl-like" attributes from the bar into middle class Thai society. The excellent article below describes this ... it wasn't too long ago that even a rich and well-connected farang would have little chance to meet a normal Thai girl. Their families would disapprove. However, in the past 10 years, you can see more and more so-called normal Thai girls managing multiple farang "sugar-daddies" via SMS, asking for money and IPOD/computers and LV purses, and these guys don't know about each other. If they DO find out, well, then "he's just my FRIEND" or "oh, he's GAY". This article below is SO TRUE from my personal experience that I was almost in tears from laughing after reading it...especially the way lying is so natural, and so accepted. Again, I am talking about so-called "good girls". "

That is a load of waddle is it ? Well then you obviously do not know what you are talking about and that goes for Maigo as well or are you just being a sheep Maigo and forgot to actually read the post ?

No it is not a load of WADDLE it is a load of twaddle. Waddle is what ducks do. Twaddle is what Jimmy speaks. And no I am not a Maigo follower.

The first three lines compares Thai behaviour with western behaviour. Then he goes on to say that he wouldn't want to be with a Thai girl because she only thinks in terms of fun (Sanook) and fun is only meant for infants. Then he mentions that Thai girls have began to use the internet and the terrible SMS - well if you got the toys use them. I fail to see the point he is making and the point that you agree with. It is twaddle: Nonsense.

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