Worst Joke Ever

[laislica]

I have to say that this morning when I got in my car I did not notice the silver one parked next to me

So you're the one who nicked my car then!

[JB300]

I have to say that this morning when I got in my car I did not notice the silver one parked next to me

So you're the one who nicked my car then!

And I'd like to thank him for doing so as it allowed me to take up 2 spaces instead of one...

Yellow paint is a bu@@er to match if somebody dings your door by parking too close.

Edited December 1, 2015 by JB300

[laislica]

I have to say that this morning when I got in my car I did not notice the silver one parked next to me

So you're the one who nicked my car then!

And I'd like to thank him for doing so as it allowed me to take up 2 spaces instead of one...

Yellow paint is a bu@@er to match if somebody dings your door by parking too close.

Thanks for owning up.

There are a couple of fines in the posts for your parking violations,

not to mention, not displaying the Matricula - Number Plate......

You will be in a (to be determined) Pub in Bangkock

At a time to be determined

You will take care of the bar tab for the posters of this thread.

The posters may respond with further rounds of Joy and a great night will be had!

See you soon!

LOL

[laislica]

If you want to be remembered after you pass.

Borrow shit loads of Money

from everyone you know!

Don't pay them back.....

[laislica]

Man goes to see dentist and asks "How much to pull two wisdom teeth?"

Dentist says "$100.00."

Man says, "too much. Can't you do it for less?"

Dentist says "I can do it for $50 if I cut out the novacaine."

Man says, "that's better but still too much. Can't we do it any cheaper?"

Dentist says, "I could let my trainee do it for $20 but she has never pulled a tooth before and it would be quite painful."

Man says, "That's great. Schedule my wife for next Tuesday."

[nikmar]

my pet mouse, i named him Elvis, died last night.

He was caught in a trap.

[joboss]

my pet mouse, i named him Elvis, died last night.

He was caught in a trap.

Are you sure he is dead?

Maybe you just have a suspicious mind..

[JB300]

my pet mouse, i named him Elvis, died last night.

He was caught in a trap.

Are you sure he is dead?

Maybe you just have a suspicious mind..

He's dead & it will be a blue, blue Christmas without mouse...

[nikmar]

my pet mouse, i named him Elvis, died last night.

He was caught in a trap.

Are you sure he is dead?

Maybe you just have a suspicious mind..

He's dead & it will be a blue, blue Christmas without mouse...

He will be always on my mind.

[JB300]

my pet mouse, i named him Elvis, died last night.

He was caught in a trap.

Are you sure he is dead?

Maybe you just have a suspicious mind..

He's dead & it will be a blue, blue Christmas without mouse...

He will be always on my mind.

And his mama cried...

Father was happy though, cos if there's one thing that he don't need, it's another little hungry mouse to feed, in the ghetto...

[Gulfsailor]

my pet mouse, i named him Elvis, died last night.

He was caught in a trap.

Are you sure he is dead?
Maybe you just have a suspicious mind..

He's dead & it will be a blue, blue Christmas without mouse...

He will be always on my mind.

And his mama cried...
Father was happy though, cos if there's one thing that he don't need, it's another little hungry mouse to feed, in the ghetto...

This is the worst joke ever section. So please a little less conversation about dead mice and references to Elvis...

[chiang mai]

So if he's really dead, are you lonesome tonight!

[angiolo]

Have you heard about the constipated maths lecturer......... who tried to work it out with a pencil

Hey you got this wrong...HE WORKED IT OUT WITH LOGS < LOGRITHMS RIGHT>

[nikmar]

my failed business idea was actually an Elvis themed steakhouse.

I was going to call it "Love Meat Tender"

[nikmar]

Elvis' favourite drink....

Martini , all shook up, not stirred.

[nikmar]

So my wife went out today to buy a replacement mouse for the dead one. but she got it wrong. it was nothing but a hound dog.

Ok. Im going home now.

[chiang mai]

Outrageous, I hope you told her to return to sender.

[nikmar]

excellent

[laislica]

[laislica]

[laislica]

[laislica]

[laislica]

[laislica]

[laislica]

How to make men wash their hands!

Edited December 2, 2015 by laislica

[laislica]

[laislica]

Aman was being tailgated by a stressed out woman on a busy boulevard.

Suddenly, the light turned yellow just in front of him.

He did the right thing, stopping at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection.

The tailgating woman hit the roof, and the horn, screaming in frustration as she missed her chance to get through the intersection.

As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window and looked up into the face of a very serious police officer.

The officer ordered her to exit her car with her hands up.

He took her to the police station where she was searched, finger-printed, and photographed, and then placed in a holding cell.

After a couple of hours, a policeman approached the cell and opened the door.

She was escorted back to the booking desk where the arresting officer was waiting with her personal effects.

He said, “I’m very sorry for this mistake.

You see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping off the guy in front of you, and cussing a blue streak at him.

I noticed the ‘What Would Jesus Do?’ bumper sticker, the ‘Follow Me to Sunday School’ bumper sticker, and the chrome-plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk.

Naturally, I assumed you had stolen the car!”

[riceyummm]

[nikmar]

To do is to be. Socrates

To be is to do. Plato

Do be do be do. Sinatra

[Crossy]

A few posts removed.

Guys (and gals), whilst 99% of us are adults these forums are accessible to children and Google (with its rules on nudity).