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Worst Joke Ever


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Three guys go on a skiing holiday together and to save money they rented only one room. After a full day on the slopes, they return to their room, exhausted and cold. 

To keep warm, they all sleep in the same bed. The next morning, the guy on one side of the bed says he had a funny dream that some one was jerking him off. The guy on the other side of the bed said that he had the same dream! The the guy in the middle said, "I had a dream last night, too. But I only dreamt that I was skiing."
 

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Four married men were golfing. While at the fourth hole, the first man said, "you have no idea what I had to go through to get to come out golfing this weekend. I had to promise my wife that I would paint every room in the house next weekend." 

The second guy said "That nothing. I had to promise my wife that I would build her a new deck for the pool." 

The third guy said "Man, you guys have it easy! I had to promise my wife that I would remodel the kitchen for her." 

They continued to play several more holes when they realized that the fourth guy had not said a word about how he managed to get out of the house. So the first guy said, "You haven't said a word about what you had to do to come golfing this weekend. What's the deal?" 

The fourth guy smiled and said "Well, I just set my alarm for 5:30 a.m. When it went off, I shut off the alarm, gave my wife a nudge and said 'Golf course or intercourse?' and she said 'Wear your sweater'" 
 

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The first grade teacher was starting a new lesson on multi-syllable words.
She thought it would be a good idea to ask a few of the children examples of words with more than one syllable.

"Jane, do you know any multi-syllable words?" After some thought Jane proudly replied with Monday.
"Great Jane. That has two syllables, Mon-day. Does anyone know another word?"

Johnny from the back of the room yells "I do! I do!" Knowing Johnny's more mature sense of humour she picks Mike instead.
"OK Mike, what is your word". "Saturday" says Mike. "Great. Sat-ur-day. That has three syllables..."

Not wanting to be outdone Johnny says "I know a four syllable word. Pick me! Pick me!"
Not thinking he can do any harm with a word that large the teacher reluctantly says "OK Johnny what is your four syllable word?"

Johnny proudly says "Mast-ur-ba-tion". Shocked, the teacher, trying to retain her composure says "Wow, Johnny. Four syllables!
That's certainly is a mouthful". "No Ma'am, you're thinking of 'blowjob', and that's only two syllables".

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