Worst Joke Ever

[Ron19]

A man goes to Thailand and picks up a lovely new wife.

A year later his friend at the golf club asks, "How's that lovely wife you
picked up in Thailand?"

"She's been a bit ill lately"

"Oh, I am sorry what's wrong with her?"

"Prostate cancer"

[JB300]

A man goes to Thailand and picks up a lovely new wife.

A year later his friend at the golf club asks, "How's that lovely wife you
picked up in Thailand?"

"She's been a bit ill lately"

"Oh, I am sorry what's wrong with her?"

"Prostate cancer"

Hey Ron, what happened to your Funny Pictures thread?

Can't seem to find it, did it get lost in the upgrade?


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Ron19]

Just now, JB300 said:

 

 

 

 

Hey Ron, what happened to your Funny Pictures thread?

Can't seem to find it, did it get lost in the upgrade?


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

 

That disappeared off the face of the earth during the forum upgrade and can't be found.

Not to worry, I started a new one to take it's place. " Humorous Signs, Photo's and Video's MK2 ".

[White Christmas13]

Is Windows a virus?

With the recent problems being encountered by Windows users all across the country, people are begin to ask themselves if windows is a virus. In response to the high demand for an answer to that question a study was done and concluded the following.

1. Viruses replicate quickly.
Windows does this.

2. Viruses use up valuable system resources, slowing down the system as they do so.
Windows does this.

3. Viruses will, from time to time, trash your hard disk.
Windows does this.

4. Viruses are usually carried, unkown to the user, along with valuable programs and systems.
Windows does that too.

5. Viruses will occasionally make the user suspect their system is too slow (see 2) and the user will buy new hardware.
Same with Windows, yet again.

Maybe Windows really is a virus.

Nope! There is a difference!

Viruses are well supported by their authors, are frequently updated, and tend to become more sophisticated as they mature. So there! Windows is not a virus.

[White Christmas13]

[White Christmas13]

What they didn't show you on TV about the Olympics

 

 

 

[metisdead]

A reminder, forum rules do apply to the Worst Joke Ever thread, you will NOT post profanities, vulgarities or obscenities, this includes images that contain profanities, vulgarities or obscenities:

 

8) You will not post disruptive or inflammatory messages, vulgarities, obscenities or profanities.

[riceyummm]

2 hours ago, White Christmas13 said:

What they didn't show you on TV about the Olympics

 

 

 

 

 

Da....rn near p p p..... wet myself on that one.

[riceyummm]

[riceyummm]

[laislica]

[laislica]

12 hours ago, Ron19 said:

G randpa's Drink

There was a family gathering, with all generations around the table.

Mischievous teenagers put a Viagra tablet into Grandpa's drink, and after a while, Grandpa excused himself because he had to go to the bathroom.


When he returned, however, his trousers are wet all over.
'What happened, Grandpa?' he is asked by his concerned children.


'Well,' he answered, 'I don't really know. I had to go to the bathroom. So I took it out and started to pee, but then I saw that it wasn't mine, so I put it back!'

 

Superb, far too good for this thread he he

[riceyummm]

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[riceyummm]

[joboss]

With the passing of Arnold Palmer God will get a golf partner.

 

Moses and God were playing a round of golf one day

God had to clear a water hazard

He reached for his 9 iron

Moses exclaimed “Not the 9 God, not for that shot”

God replied “ Arnold Palmer could do it with a 9 “

God proceeded to have his shot and the ball went up in the air and landed plop in the water hazard.

God goes, “ Come on Moses, do your thing”

Moses parts the waters, walk onto the water hazard, picks up the ball, and returns it to God.

God drops it on the fairway and draws his 9 iron out of the bag.

Moses shakes his head and exclaims in exasperation “Not the 9 God, it’s the wrong club”

God replies “Arnold Palmer would use his 9”

God swings the 9, the balls goes up in the air and plops straight into the water hazard.

God motions to Moses, “ Come on Moses, do your thing”

Moses replies “ Get stuffed, you get it yourself”

God walks out on the water and starts searching for his golf ball.

Meanwhile, the following pair is catching up as God and Moses are taking so long.

One of the pair looks, and looks again??

Says out loud, “ Is that guy walking on the water? He must think he is God or something”

Moses says with a sigh, “No, He thinks he is Arnold Palmer!”

[laislica]

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[laislica]

[riceyummm]

[riceyummm]

[riceyummm]

[riceyummm]

[riceyummm]

[White Christmas13]

Modems beat women

Some reasons why a modem is better than a woman:

A modem doesn't ask for a commitment if you use it. Getting a modem to obey you is as simple as typing "AT".

When you're done using your modem, you can roll over and go to sleep without feeling guilty.

A modem won't say a word if you come home late.

A modem can't collect alimony if you decide to dump it.

A modem will always wait patiently by the phone.

You can always get a few bucks for an old modem when a faster model comes out.

A modem doesn't mind if you call another modem.

A virus you catch from your modem doesn't require a trip to the doctor.

You don't have to bring a modem home to meet your parents. If an error occurs, Abort, Retry or Fail are the only options you have to worry about.

Modems come with an instruction manual. Modems have a volume control - you can even turn the sound OFF.