Worst Joke Ever

[tifino]

Q: what's Black'n'Yellow, and full of crispy little critters?

A: a burnt-out SchoolBus

[tifino]

Q: What's Brown, and Sounds like A Bell?

A: dung

[silver sea]

Here's hoping that this raises at least a ?

If you can't read the text, it says:

Officer: I didn't see you at camouflage training this morning Murphy

Murphy: Thank you Sir.

Edited December 1, 2014 by silver sea

[loong]

Why do hens lay eggs?

Well, if they dropped them, they'd break wouldn't they!?

[tifino]

"F U N E X ?"

"S V F X"

"F U N E M ?"

"S V F M"

"OK L F M N X 4 T"

[laislica]

"F U N E X ?"

"S V F X"

"F U N E M ?"

"S V F M"

"OK L F M N X 4 T"

Thanks Ronnie Barker !

[silver sea]

"F U N E X ?"

"S V F X"

"F U N E M ?"

"S V F M"

"OK L F M N X 4 T"

Thanks Ronnie Barker !

Are yes well remembered. Click

if you fancy a trip down Memory Lane.

You're obviously too young, laislica, to remember having seen it first in the BEANO in 1950 ?

[laislica]

"F U N E X ?"

"S V F X"

"F U N E M ?"

"S V F M"

"OK L F M N X 4 T"

Thanks Ronnie Barker !

Are yes well remembered. Click

if you fancy a trip down Memory Lane.

You're obviously too young, laislica, to remember having seen it first in the BEANO in 1950

I raise you Billy's weekly Liar!

[wpcoe]

Q: Why is Santa so jolly?

A: Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.

Q: Why doesnt Santa have any kids?

A: He only comes once a year.

...and that's down a chimney. <Ba-dum-tish!>

[laislica]

A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. He seemed more amused. When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested.

The case came up in court. The Judge asked the man (about 20 years old) what he had to say for himself.

The man replied...

"Well your Honor, it was like this: When the lady got on the bus, I couldn't help but notice her condition. She sat under a sweets sign that said, "The Double Mint Twins are Coming" and I grinned.

Then she moved and sat under a sign that said "Logan's Liniment will reduce the swelling", and I had to smile.

Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said "William's Big Stick Did the Trick", and I could hardly contain myself.

BUT, your Honor, when she moved for the fourth time and sat under the sign that said "Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this Accident"..I just lost it.

"CASE DISMISSED!!"

[laislica]

[laislica]

[laislica]

[laislica]

[silver sea]

lol = drowning man

*lol* = drowning cheerleader

[riceyummm]

[laislica]

I am still in the Cells. .

I got stopped by the Police last night as part of their "Drink Driving Campaign"

The policewoman asked me "How many drinks have you had in the last 24 hours"

Apparently "Not Enough to Shag You" was the wrong answer !!

[laislica]

[laislica]

[WitawatWatawit]

The true story as told by Hillary Clinton



Finally, the true story as told by Hillary Clinton to world leaders.

"Some years ago, nearing dinner time at the White House, our regular
cook fell ill and they had to get a replacement on short notice.
He wasn't the smartest looking guy, in fact he seemed a bit dirty.


The President voiced his concerns to his Chief of Staff but was told
that this was the best they could do on such short notice.

"Just before the meal, Bill noticed the cook sticking his finger in
the soup to taste it and again complained to the Chief Of Staff, but
he was assured that many chefs did that.

"Dinner went okay, although Bill thought that the soup tasted a little
funny. By the time dessert came, he started to have stomach cramps and
nausea. It was getting worse and worse until finally the President had
to excuse himself.

"By now, he was desperately ill with violent cramps and was so
disorientated that he couldn't remember which door led to the
bathroom. He was on the verge of passing out from the pain when he
finally found a door that opened.

"As he unzipped his trousers and ran in, he realized to his horror
that he had stumbled into Monica Lewinsky's office with his trousers
around his knees. As he was about to pass out, this naive girl bent
over him and heard the President whisper in a barely audible voice:
"Sack my cook"

"And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how the whole misunderstanding occurred."

[silver sea]

[riceyummm]

You gotta watch this video, it's brilliant satire aimed at both sides:

http//www.youtube.com/watch?v=lnSlivfhZPU

Edited December 8, 2014 by riceyummm

[silver sea]

I got a letter from Screw Fix Direct thanking me for my interest, but explaining that they were not a dating agency.

[silver sea]

Due to a water shortage in Ireland, Dublin swimming baths have announced that they are closing lanes 7 and 8.

[laislica]

I phoned my wife earlier. "I'm just setting off from work, do you want me to pick up fish and chips on my way home?"

It was met with a stony silence.

I think she still regrets letting me name the twins.

[laislica]

Hmm, can I post a gif?

Click on the picture to see the action.

Edited December 9, 2014 by laislica

[tifino]

Heard there's this schitzophrenia meeting coming up on Monday.

Got half a mind - to go

[Goldstar]

I went to the zoo in. Phuket the other day. Paid three hundred baht to get in but there was only one dog in it. It was a shitzoo.

[ozsamurai]

oh dear that one is gonna stick....

[laislica]

I went to the zoo in. Phuket the other day. Paid three hundred baht to get in but there was only one dog in it. It was a shitzoo.

A good start, thanks and welcome to Thai Visa Forum.

We can be a cranky lot at times LOL

Try not to take the occasional slaggings too personally LOL.

You will find this forum very helpful for visa stuff, thai relationships, buying property etc.

Just take some of our members with a pinch of salt.

(Anonymous keyboard warriors LOL)