Bad Expat

[meemiathai]

aaaaaaa,

first of all, congratulations for having such a lovely wife!

I have no respect for people who have no respect for others(including animals).

And yes animals should have absolutely the same rights as human beings.

I don't give a shit to what karma may do to me. I don't believe in it anyway.

Once again shame to the human race! Sad to be living in such a sick world!

This planet would've been a much better place if there weren't any

but stray cats and dogs definetely an annoyance in Thailand.

What about stray farangs?

[Simbo]

I would have done if it slept on my Skoda. 

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Simbo! I'm not very versed in cars models - can you educate me, Skoda is more expensive than Porshe?

I'd like to hear more ideas of reactions from cars/ cats owners towards owner/ cat/ Italian - especially according to car's model . say - if it is Lexus or Benz or BMW - would the cat's fate differ? and then another suggestion for possible developmnet of this thread: the cat's species. some cats might be more expensive than latest models of fansy cars !

and yeah - we forgot the twists of scenarios related to Hi-So woman - such a shame !

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It doesn't matter how expensive a car is. Most men love their cars almost and sometimes more than their wives. how would you like someone sleeping on your wife?

[chuchok]

I would have done if it slept on my Skoda. 

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Simbo! I'm not very versed in cars models - can you educate me, Skoda is more expensive than Porshe?

I'd like to hear more ideas of reactions from cars/ cats owners towards owner/ cat/ Italian - especially according to car's model . say - if it is Lexus or Benz or BMW - would the cat's fate differ? and then another suggestion for possible developmnet of this thread: the cat's species. some cats might be more expensive than latest models of fansy cars !

and yeah - we forgot the twists of scenarios related to Hi-So woman - such a shame !

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

It doesn't matter how expensive a car is. Most men love their cars almost and sometimes more than their wives. how would you like someone sleeping on your wife?

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If somebody slept with my wife, I'd shake his hand.

[Pudgimelon]

very interesting developements takes this thread ! let's make a competition - who'll suggest best method of punished drunk Italian guy!    anymore ideas? 

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Messy with drunks was my favorite hobby back in my frat days .

Ever try any of these?

1) Lift the toilet seat up, and put plastic wrap over the top of the toilet. Drunk comes in, takes a piss, and the splash off the plastic causes him to piss all over himself. Hilarity ensues. (this works great as an anti-projectile vomiting device as well. Nothing beats watching someone hurl and then having the toilet hurl back!)

2) Cover the inside bathroom doorknob with vaseline. Drunk walks in, closes door, takes piss, but on the way out, can't grip or turn doorknob to open door (note, this only works on people who are staggeringly drunk). Drunk trapped in bathroom until they pass out in the bathtub. Glee!

3) Lightly dust the bathroom towels with chili powder. Drunk washes hands, drunk dries hands, drunk innocently rubs eye later on, drunk rolls around on the floor, screaming in agony. A laugh riot, I tell yah!

4) "But wait!" you say. "Drunks never wash their hands." True enough, so the simplest way to accomplish #3 is to "encourage" them to wash their hands. Dusting the beer bottles in the fridge with chili powder doesn't work so great because the bottles are usually too wet for this, though it is a good way to protect your favorite brand from interlopers. Try this instead: wait until someone passes out, then use permanent marker to write "I'M AN A$$ PIRATE, ARGH!" on their forehead. Then put shaving cream (or blue cheese dressing) in their hand. Tickle their nose until they swat their face (thus covering it with goo). They wake up, curse you, go to the bathroom, wash their face, and then dry their face with the aforementioned chili-pepper towel. HELLO! Instant sobriety!

5) Carry around a pack of smokes, but first soak the filters in cat piss (or vinegar or chili juice). This is a great way to teach all those "drinking smokers" a lesson about buying their own frigg'n cigarettes.

6) Sway back and forth while you're talking to a drunk. But be warned, don't do this in your own home unless you enjoy cleaning vomit out of your carpet.

7) Impugne your friend's manhood until he does a shot of Tabasco with you (don't EVER do this, trust me, it HURTS). Make sure you do a shot of tomato juice while your drunk friend does a shot of Tabasco. Also make sure you have a car standing by to take him to the hospital if need be .

8) Lightly dust the toilet seat with chili powder. Drunk comes in to drop a log (without flushing, of course), and leave with his ass on fire. Best at parties with hot girls in attendance so they can watch your friend scrunch his ass around on the ground like a dog.

9) Get ahold of your friend's mobile phone (this only works if he has a girlfriend/wife). Then program the number of every skanky 'ho you know into the phone's memory. Then call all those skanky 'hos. This works best if you accuse the skanky 'hos of giving you an STD and/or tell them you want to get freaky tonight. In the middle of the call, hang up. Walk over to your drunk friend (hopefully standing next to his girlfriend). And say, "Hey man, you dropped your phone".... Step back and wait for the phone to ring. Huzzah! Note: Please remove all sharp objects from your home prior to doing this since the police showing up to investigate a homicide tends to put a damper on things.

10) After playing assorted pranks on your friends for weeks at parties, suddenly stop doing it. Sit back and relax and watch as your friends gingerly wash the outside of bottles before handling them, or poke their toes at the toilet before peeing to make sure there's no plastic wrap, or decide to quit drinking early in the night so they don't pass out and end up having to go home (again) with "INSERT HERE (with a down arrow)" drawn on their back in permanent marker.

Needless to say, frat life was ###### on my campus

Hey, speaking of which, I just thought of one for our Italian cat-killer. Wait until no one is home (so no one can answer the door). Then hire the biggest, skankiest, ugliest ladyboy you can find to stand outside his front door. Tell her to bang on it and scream "You pay me now! I f'k your A$$ so you pay me now!!" Have her do this for about 5 or 10 minutes (until all the neighbors have had a good look). After the ladyboy leaves in a huff, wait about 5 seconds for the rumor mill to reach Porsche-boy's girlfriend. I'd give him about 3 hours before he's out on the street looking for a new place to live.

[OxfordWill]

Just waiting for all those who commented on 'cat control' to enlighten the rest of us on just how they would go about stopping a cat in Thailand from sleeping wherever it so pleases.

Keep it locked in the house? You've obviously never owned a cat...

[HarryHacker]

very interesting developements takes this thread ! let's make a competition - who'll suggest best method of punished drunk Italian guy!    anymore ideas? 

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...or more interesting ways to kill cats...or dogs, while we are at it!

[khunlungphudhu]

This bloke loves his car......enjoys a drink.......'lao khao'....well out of date....

ace paint stripper!!!

[davethailand]

Can't be bothered to read the full thread but who gives a toss whether its a porsche or not? That is unacceptable behaviour and I for one would take pleasure in smashing his face into the bonnet of his porsche.

W A N K E R

[meemiathai]

Can't be bothered to read the full thread but who gives a toss whether its a porsche or not? That is unacceptable behaviour and I for one would take pleasure in smashing his face into the bonnet of his porsche.

W A N K E R

I'll help!

[alaina]

Hey, speaking of which, I just thought of one for our Italian cat-killer. Wait until no one is home (so no one can answer the door). Then hire the biggest, skankiest, ugliest ladyboy you can find to stand outside his front door. Tell her to bang on it and scream "You pay me now! I f'k your A$$ so you pay me now!!" Have her do this for about 5 or 10 minutes (until all the neighbors have had a good look). After the ladyboy leaves in a huff, wait about 5 seconds for the rumor mill to reach Porsche-boy's girlfriend. I'd give him about 3 hours before he's out on the street looking for a new place to live.

Niiice. Better yet hire a few and give a cash bonus to the one who attracts the most attention from the neighbors.

[nokmdk]

revenge is best served cold:

So go down to the local cop hang out with a Thai friend (not your gf) tell them you want this guy hassled to no ends. (payment of around 5000 baht lasts for a few days) make sure if you can not to be the one talking and have a photo and addy. Sure it wont bring the cat back but..... it will tell this jerk wad that there is some one around that knows who he is and he doesnt know them. Something along them lines will work big time. Just make sure you can some how show he has stepped on some ones toes. Nothing worse then always having to look over your shoulder wondering whats going to happen next. Now i dont agree with most of this myself but i can tell you (do as the locals would do). not able to? theres plenty of people on the forums that are not so shy and crazy enough to do anything for fun. Remember though what goes around comes around in the end.

happy v-day all.

[Doctor John]

Can't be bothered to read the full thread but who gives a toss whether its a porsche or not? That is unacceptable behaviour and I for one would take pleasure in smashing his face into the bonnet of his porsche.

W A N K E R

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Dave, so I can send my Cats and Dogs round to your place and they can kip on the bonnet ofyour new trucK?

[Doctor John]

. Now i dont agree with most of this myself but i can tell you (do as the locals would do). not able to? theres plenty of people on the forums that are not so shy and crazy enough to do anything for fun.

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I am sure that members of this Forum would go round to this guys house and sort him out, he.ll, most would get of their fat A$$'s and fly half way round the world to administer justice to this guy that has a powerful Thai lady lover..........all for a cat, give me a break!

Nokmdk...Wake up and smell the coffee. This is just a forum, that's all.

Nothing will happen, trust me on that.

Edited February 14, 2005 by Doctor John

[The_Eye_Of_Sauron]

Ha Ha Ha Pudgi - you're supposed to be a classy guy with a classy wife !!!! Dog shit on the handles. Where were you raised !!!!

[HarryHacker]

Ha Ha Ha Pudgi - you're supposed to be a classy guy with a classy wife !!!! Dog shit on the handles. Where were you raised !!!!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Maybe Ramsgate?

[Thaicoon]

I have a cat, and a Porsche turbo, some times my cat gets in the garage and sleeps in it, also goes to sleep on the whale tail, but i would never kill or harm him, or any other animal, i do get a bit anoid, so have put a cover on the car.

Lets hope this guy gets a B L O O D Y good hiding, he deserves it, snap his legs.

[Doctor John]

I have a cat, and a Porsche turbo, some times my cat gets in the garage and sleeps in it, also goes to sleep on the whale tail, but i would never kill or harm him, or any other animal, i do get a bit anoid, so have put a cover on the car.

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You are so kind to animals, so can my pet water buffalo come and sleep on your Porsche's tail fin?

[Ryan]

I have a cat, and a Porsche turbo, some times my cat gets in the garage and sleeps in it, also goes to sleep on the whale tail, but i would never kill or harm him, or any other animal, i do get a bit anoid, so have put a cover on the car.

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You are so kind to animals, so can my pet water buffalo come and sleep on your Porsche's tail fin?

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always has an answer

[toastwars]

Although I feel that the manner in which this feline was dispatched was inhumane, I wish someone would kill some soi dogs

[Doctor John]

Although I feel that the manner in which this feline was dispatched was inhumane, I wish someone would kill some soi dogs

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Just buy your neighbour a porsche, and watch the slaughter begin.

[Thaicoon]

I have a cat, and a Porsche turbo, some times my cat gets in the garage and sleeps in it, also goes to sleep on the whale tail, but i would never kill or harm him, or any other animal, i do get a bit anoid, so have put a cover on the car.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

You are so kind to animals, so can my pet water buffalo come and sleep on your Porsche's tail fin?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Your Wife, ?, no problem

[toastwars]

Although I feel that the manner in which this feline was dispatched was inhumane, I wish someone would kill some soi dogs

Just buy your neighbour a porsche, and watch the slaughter begin.

I would love to start a soi dog "running dog" Tv show, I am sure it would be a welcome adition to Thai and perhaps Spanish programming schedules; and I may be able to have an unbroken nights sleep without thinking I am on the set of "Dances with wolves "

Edited February 14, 2005 by toastwars

[Doctor John]

Although I feel that the manner in which this feline was dispatched was inhumane, I wish someone would kill some soi dogs

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Just buy your neighbour a porsche, and watch the slaughter begin.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I would love to start a soi dog "running dog" Tv show, I am sure it would be a welcome adition to Thai and perhaps Spanish programming schedules; and I may be able to have an unbroken nights sleep without thinking I am on the set of "Dances with wolves "

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Toast, have you tried earplugs, worked for me with a Rooster that was going off at 4 am every morning.

[toastwars]

I AM WEARING EAR PLUGS NOW!!!!, BUT I WOULD STILL LIKE TO SEE THEM DIE!!!

[meemiathai]

Ha Ha Ha Pudgi - you're supposed to be a classy guy with a classy wife !!!! Dog shit on the handles. Where were you raised !!!!

If one remembers his comments on NEP!

[Tornado]

I had a problem with a cat owner myself a few weeks ago. I parked on the street and when I drove off, I supposedly ran over the cat. I felt sorry for her, but I shouldnt have to check for cats every time I drive off

You either love cats or hate em and I happen to hate them, but I wouldnt harm one. Cat owners should be more responsible regarding their pets and keep them on their own property or dont have them at all. I would of been pissed if a cat was sleeping on my car as they scratch the paintwork and they stink.

[chingy_]

i don't have a Porsche, but i do have an red beautiful Alfa, if any of you people cat even put his claw on my car, the cat will be my supper, im having cat stews.

Edited February 14, 2005 by chingy_

[chonabot]

i don't have a Porsche, but i do have an red beautiful Alfa, if any of you people cat even put his claw on my car, the cat will be my supper, im having cat stews. 

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I luuurrve Alfa's , which model Chingy ?

[Crazy Dave]

hmmm, if you want a pet whether its a dog or cat you either keep it in an enclosure or walk it on a leash, my parents had cats and had an enclosed area in the garden that they could access from the house, i personally had a problem with neighbours cats coming into my place and shitting, there was 3 of them and it took about a month for my rotties to catch and kill them, my neighbours do not have anymore cats, these i believe were justified kills, they were in my house shitting in it, if i saw a cat on my car and could catch it i would throw it to my dogs, will the owner compensate me 1,500baht per panel that had to be resprayed? due to the poxy cat scratching it, due to their lack of control over their pet, would they compensate me for a rental car of similar quality while my car is being resprayed? of course they wont, if you want a pet be responsible for it, how much would a porshe rental cost perday while his porshe was being resprayed?

[Simbo]

I have a cat, and a Porsche turbo, some times my cat gets in the garage and sleeps in it, also goes to sleep on the whale tail, but i would never kill or harm him, or any other animal, i do get a bit anoid, so have put a cover on the car.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

You are so kind to animals, so can my pet water buffalo come and sleep on your Porsche's tail fin?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

always has an answer

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

He's more interested in letting you know he has a

Porche Turbo than the cat.