Relationship Dynamics (duplicity)

[WaatWang]

OK so my BF & I went to the movies and there was a preview for the new movie Duplicity.

(Google 'official Duplicity trailer' or look for it on YouTube.)

To me the relationship between the two leads reminded me of a relationship I was in with a long-term ex (and we were both American). Fun, and just playing games with each other, "tests" to see how the other would react, etc... To me the movie looked cool and I was laughing as the two leads interacted with eachother.

I look at the BF, who did not even crack a smile, and asked, not funny? He said no, their relationship is not good. No trust, why would someone want to be in a relationship like that? Why would that even be something to joke about?

And it just struck me - how things are sooo different in my realtionship with my Thai BF. He's right! And I was in a relationship like that for a long time. Looking back and looking at what I have now, it seems much better to show your true feelings all the time and do little things to show the other person you care. I guess just wearing your heart on your sleeve. We have fun, too but it's just so much lighter and open. I'm not sure how to describe it.

So this made me think, maybe other people in farang-Thai relationships might feel the same and have insight into this. Anyone care to comment?

[sbk]

I think relationships are very individual things, and sure there are cultural considerations but really, I don't think you can make such broad based generalizations based on two unique relationships.

My husband is also very honest and not a game player, but then I wouldn't have a long term relationship with someone who was, so it wouldn't matter if the man were Thai, German, US or Martian. I prefer straightforward honesty.

It sounds more like you changed, and started looking for men that would fulfill you rather than any earthshaking differences in men, tbh.

And good for you. It makes for a much more harmonious life.

[WaatWang]

Hi sbk,

Thanks for your post. You are right, everyone is different. I guess that moment was a big "Aha" moment for me because it made me realize how different we were, how differently we see things; while at the same time it made me see that despite all these differences it's working out so beautifully between us. Maybe it's me that changed, maybe he changed me. Whatever it is, I'm happy!

[mssabai]

I have never been a game player and neither have any of my boyfriends. Some of my friends are though and they are forever involved in little power struggles with their partners. I think game players are attracted to game players.