Moody Thai's..?

[ChrisP]

Is it just me, or are Thai Bo.. (sorry!) Guys the most moody on the planet..?

How do you think they compare for "pout-factor" compared to other countries around..??

On a scale of 1-10 I'd rate them an "11".... <sigh>

(At least all the ones I know...!)

ChrisP

Edited February 16, 2005 by ChrisP

[Ijustwannateach]

I think the "pouting" side of things comes out most among the more girly/kathoeyesque gay guys... the more macho or straight-identified ones will get moody and quiet if there's a problem, or just downright angry. I've never been with the really pouty ones long enough to get the full effect, and I don't think I'd last with one- have seen the way they behave around friends of mine, and I'd never put up with it.

"Steven"

[chaladmak]

moody - nice epithet!

how would you define that?

[jerry921]

There's your moody ones and then there's your drama queens. I'd call that a whole 'nother league. Drama queens are available in all colors, shapes, sizes and budgets in any major city world-wide.

[Ijustwannateach]

Something that my guy does that drives me crazy is when I *know* he's angry or upset about something, and then he pretends nothing is wrong. Even though I can tell wheels are spinning around inside him (too quiet, not looking at me directly enough, not smiling, etc.). Even if I confront him about his obvious moodiness, he'll deny that anything's a problem, until he's ready to talk. Can take a couple of hours, though it's getting better as time goes on. Better than the 3-day pouts I've heard about and seen with other guys, though!

"Steven"

[ChrisP]

moody - nice epithet!

how would you define that?

"Moody"... emotionally not his usual self... too quiet.. unresponsive..

he pretends nothing is wrong. Even though I can tell wheels are spinning around inside him (too quiet, not looking at me directly enough, not smiling, etc.).

and uptight, no chit-chat...

IJWT, My bf behaves the same way sometimes!... pretends there NO problem when he CLEARLY demonstrates that there is...! drives ME crazy too... I can usually get him to open up pretty fast... doesn't take more than 15 minutes...

Ok, so it's a Thai thing....

But I guess the "Thai Pout" is when they don't get their own way...

ChrisP

[ProThaiExpat]

ChrisP: When you said "it drives me crazy" you put your finger on it. My guess is it is an emotional weapon with your love used to get you to "come around" in the disagreemnt of the moment.

The "silent treatment" is my Thai's emotional weapon of choice.

When I go silent and out wait him, he comes around in hours or days on his own accord, apologises and explains he just had to get his head clear. I believe we are "tested" by our Thais to see where the limits are and when they finally believe they have pushed you as far as you will go, they stop.

In the west, I often commented that women, once they get their "foot in the door" keep pushing until it is wide open or slammed shut. Why should it be different here.

If pouting doesn't work, it won't be used in my view. Likewise any other emotional weapon. Why use an ineffective weapon, after all, it does take an emotion toll on the user.

Emotional maturity is a worldwide issue, realtionship issues are ever present and "fighting farily" in relationships is a subject of which volumes have been written.

My suggestion to not be "driven crazy" is to recognize the behaviour verbally, "you are pouting which is childish". "I don't like childish behaviour from my lover" "I will go out and have a drink at a local "boy bar" and wait for your call when you have decided to stop pouting" or "come join me when your finished pouting". Be ready for a long wait the first time, even staying overnight in a another hotel untill you get the call or he joins you,.

The foregoing is assuming his "pouting" is because he has been denied something that he wants and there is no way your going to give it to him.

[ChrisP]

^ Thanks PtP...

The other day he was "moody" on the phone.. I told him I was going to hang up, as I didn't want to listen to virtual silence, or one syllable words, and to call me back when he was in a better mood.

It took him about 6 hours to get back to me.. then as if nothing had happened.

ChrisP

[Ijustwannateach]

Good advice, PTE... I've learned to recognize the behavior and now I wait a few minutes for him to decide to talk- if not, we part- or if necessary I throw him out. The time delay from being surly to being reasonable is getting smaller and smaller....

[ProThaiExpat]

I wonder if Thai guys in their early twenties, who may still be living with mom, are not just plain less mature than their western counterparts who have left home and are innundated with realtionship learning experiences.

Certainly long term relationships with older falang allow them to learn relationship skills and mature in the process.

My Thai, while not in his twenties, has matured immesurably in three years and his relationship skills are much, much better. Thus our relationship is just getting better all the time. Great reward for having gone "through it". Not sure I have it in me to do it again, though.

My own experience has taught me that while any male in his early twenties has many desireable qualities, the emotional rollercoaster is not something I want to experience "one more time" and thus I was delighted when my 28 year old Thai aged to 36 during our first two weeks together.