Do People Comfort Your Question With Answer You Like To Hear?

[vreemd13]

They dont seem to be able to say "not sure" or " i dont know ".......and "up to you" is normally folowed silently by " your paying.....

What a coincidence, just 3 days ago I answer "i don't know" on a discussion case with my thai friend. For sure this answer was not accepted, because it was not a clear "Yes" answer as expected for him to hear.

Prove my case: "They" only accept a clear "Yes" or "No" and "up to you" from outsider (i will not mention farang here) is still out of the question for "them", even though "they" use "up to you" as a non-negotiable answer in any case.

Now my friend is whining like a little child, because he not accept my "No" for an answer.

(Please understand quotation marks around "they", it is not used to generalize by me)

[vreemd13]

Maybe they simply dont understand ya - I am having a hard time, although the answers look familiar and

annoying. It might simply mean that ya need to ask if they understood the question. If they do and still

answer up to you, move or get new friends.

BR>Jack

Even though I dislike to admit, maybe this is the best reply, so far:

"Move on and get new friends"

Does it fit my first original question blanks .... best ???????

Yes, probably it is best for my future, because the childish whining of my adult thai friend is a horrible experience now.

Have you any other suggestions to stop this childish whining and continue an adult conversation with my thai friend?

[IanForbes]

One problem that I can see is both the OP and his Thai friends are BOTH using English as a second language to communicate. I can see just by what the OP has written that his questions are not clear. If they are not clear to me then they must be that much more difficult for a Thai. Add to that the normal Thai response of never answering any question with a firm answer and you will have problems. I get around that by just going with the flow and trying not to get too angry when things do not go as planned. I know I can NEVER get a complete answer to ANY question I ask of a lady friend in Kanchanaburi.

For example, I will ask "How much did that cost?" (whatever the item happens to be) and she will answer "You don't understand."

I will reply... "Yes, I DO understand. Did it cost 100 baht, 200 baht, 300 baht or 400 baht?"

She will reply again... "You don't understand."

Finally I'll just shake my head and walk away. There is no sense talking to a stump.

[a2396]

I have had to grapple with this, as most foreigners do. I think this is a reflection of a culture where, as many have mentioned, does not encourage direct and specific communication in most situations. Thais may view it as beign polite or face saving, but the end result is often inadequate or incorrect knowledge of the issue under discussion. Not an ideal way to base any personal relationship or even business dealings. I generally prefer finding partners who have some knowledge and interest in English and ability to converse in it. This is not always a guarentee, as I have friends who have uni degrees and speak good English, but still have their minds locked in the Thai way of responding - vague, unspecific, coupled with a short attention span and lack of concentration. Many times they do not hear or understand what I am asking, even though their knowledge of English is good. Others don't divulge information, because they don't want to, or because they are incapable of giving a direct answer. All in all, not an ideal situation.