Lawyers

[Boon Mee]

**Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?***

** A: No.**

**Q: Did you check for blood pressure?**

**A: No.**

**Q: Did you check for breathing?**

**A: No.**

**Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began

the autopsy?**

**A: No.**

**Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?**

**A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.**

**Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?**

**A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing

law somewhere***

[pimmel]

Some more:

A man walked into a bar with his alligator and asked the bartender, "Do you serve lawyers here?" "Sure do," replied the bartender. "Good," said the man. "Give me a beer, and I'll have a lawyer for my 'gator."

It was so cold last winter that I saw a lawyer with his hands in his own pockets.

At a convention of biological scientists one researcher remarks to another, "Did you know that in our lab we have switched from mice to lawyers for our experiments?" "Really?" the other replied, "Why did you switch?" "Well, for three reasons. First we found that lawyers are far more plentiful, second, the lab assistants don't get so attached to them, and thirdly there are some things even a rat won't do.

An anxious woman goes to her doctor. "Doctor," she asks nervously, "can you get pregnant from anal intercourse?" "Certainly," replies the doctor, "Where do you think lawyers come from?"