Do you remember how overwhelming it felt to be relocating to a foreign country by yourself, having to learn the language, laws, culture,...  Where do I start?!!  I welcome any and all advice from farang women, as well as men (except Bud..I already know too much about you   ).

ok, i didn't have to learn the language (huge advantage there), but my adivce is get out, meet people (BKK metro is a good guide), look up expat groups with a presence here in BKK ie sports teams etc, and with in 2 seconds flat you'll know a bunch of people. My NZ girlfriend was bigtime into netball when I met her.

Also, say hello to people you meet in your buliding. Some of my best friends here in BKK are people who I met from saying hello to in my apartment lift, or by the pool.Thru them I met a tonne of new people. It only takes one or two people to introduce you to ten more!

the thing i notice about being overseas, is that people who are now the "foreigner" become much more receptive to meeting new people.

Strawberry girl, here is another sound advice for you.  Being a woman, don't wear short mini skirts, or revealing clothes out in public.  Thai people sort of frown upon that, and also that is an invitation to trouble.   Many will mistake you for some call girl etc.   When you go out at night, never go alone and if you have to make sure you got a mobile phone with you.  When you are with the men, be very careful of the menfolk, till you know them a bit, and make sure you find out if they are married or not.  Many will lie to you on this regard, so go very slow.  Avoid sexual remarks or gestures etc.  Never point your finger to them, they take that as an insult.  Also never touch a monk.  I mean never touch him.  It is against their religion for any female to touch monks.

The best advice is this, keep quiet, observe and learn, and watch what goes on around you.  Let them approach you and you be nice and friendly, but always be alert.  Thai people like to pump you for information and are good with stories.  Never fall for any story unless you do know it is true.  If you ever need help, ask some employee or the police or someone like at a hotel being a receptionist.  On their cabs make sure they have meters on them and that it works.  If you not see a meter get out of the cab and get another one, or you will pay a lot for such trip.  Other than that be safe, be on guard at all times, be smart and avoid drugs or offers of doing your visa runs.  If you have to do the visa run, do it by yourself and always keep your passport in your possession.  If you fear losing this passport, make certified copies of such and you can carry that around, while your passport is in another place safe.

I would suggest you make some friends with a local that you and her being friends.  The local girl will guide you accordingly and sort of also protect you from harms way since you are not that familiar of the area of its city especially of their handwriting.  To learn that it will take years.  First learn to speak it, then you can do handwriting little by little.

As of language I suggest learning little by little and do a lot of practice.  It is going to be hard but once you get past the 50 percent stage of speaking most words, the rest will come to you easier.  Again like above, I suggest you have this local girl who speaks both languages so you can communicate with her etc.

Viola, enjoy your stay in Thailand.

:blues:

I found that it was a great time to reassess my life.

You are in control - you can choose who and what you want to keep in touch with. Think about the mistakes in your life and what you want to dump, and about what is important and what you want to develop. Learn from the past and don't repeat past mistakes.

Be careful who you rely on for help - many people are only really helping themselves.

The first thing to do is find a place you feel comfortable with and where you can retreat to with things that are important to you. Take time and do not jump into new relationships too readily. Stay in control - do not let anyone interfere with what you want to do.

Hi Strawberry Girl, You don't say where you will be moving to in LOS, this can make a big difference to how to meet new people & also how easily it will be to fit in. If for example you will be in Bangkok, I beleive, from reading other posts that this can be a hard city, for both men & women, with regards to meeting people, as well as trying to find your ways around at first & feeling isolated & lonely is something that most expats will go through in the beginning.

If it is on one of the islands, such as pattaya, samui, chang etc, it will be easier to meet farang as they are more receptive to new people & usually with a more laid back attitude (something to do with the ocean & palm trees & also usually being on extended holidays or owning their own business, more free time etc). If you have time, try joining a local language school to improve your Thai, there will be other farang there from all over the world & having a common bond of learning will usually be more friendly than say, meeting someone on the street, also you have a chance over the course to establish whether someone is your type of person or not.

With regard to laws & customs, go to your embassy home site for Bangkok & look up the do's & don't section also read a lot of different giude books & surf the web, lots of info on LOS to find if you don't mind trawling through the crap to find it.

Finally, be brave, go out there & meet the people, local & expat alike, go to sports clubs, expat groups, take the advice of others but don't trust it to be gospel & persevere, eventually you will be an old hand & have a group of reliable, trustworthy friends who become you new family whilst you are here.  

Dave Yo has offered some fabulous advice, after living here for 14 years I can tell you the most important thing is appearance counts. Dress demurely and you will be treated with much more respect than if you wear revealing clothing. No short shorts, short mini-skirts, even spaghetti straps are kind of so-so. Sure, in the cities alot of thai girls wear these things but you are not Thai and you will be judged differently. If you appear dressed politely it will speak volumes about your respect for the culture. this goes doubly so if you are outside cities. country people are conservative people and expect girls to behave more modestly than is expected in the west. Yes, it is an unfair double standard but hey, it's their country and if you want to fit in you gotta play by their rules. As for meeting new people, well can't give you much advice there except that some of the farang will give you as much BS as the Thais. Like Boo said, don't believe everything you hear, from anyone. There are just as many dodgy farang here as there are Thais. That said, thai people are very accepting in alot of ways and if you meet ones outside of the tourist industry they can be very kind and generous (people in the tourist industry are inured to the exoticism of foreigners and generally just see them as what my husband calls "walking atms"). and remember to be accepting, don't lose your temper and just grin and bear it! and build up to eating the hot stuff, you'll be doubly impressive once you can eat as spicy as the thais!

An earnest thanks to all who have bestowed advice and interest.  I shall do my best to remain discretionary, yet open minded.  SBK, I must say that I am quite intrigued and would love to hear more about the origin of your present circumstance...how you and your husband met, your decision to live in Thailand, learning the language, etc.  The details, I imagine, are quite fascinating.   Again, thanks to all!!!

Strawberry get hold of ' Culture Shock Thailand ' written by Cooper and ' Do's  and Dont's in Thailand ' by Yee and Gordon. A very light pair of books, but most informative. Good luck.

I have read those books, along with many others.  In fact, Its quite probable that I have depleted the Thai culture section of several online book stores!!!  :laugh:

Oh, and by the way if you do eat the spicy thai foods and are not used to it, make sure you got a bottle of rolaids handy and plenty of something to drink.  It happened to me.  Felt like my tummy was burning thru and out of my body.  Similar to a hot tamale, but 20 times stronger.  Whew.

:blues  :laugh:

The one thing going for me is that I always order the spiciest foods and then end up ordering some hot sauce on the side!  That is one thing I love about Thai food!

How Surreal!