Unable To Get A Date

[Boo]

True, some Thai women have become westernized and that's a pity

Oh dear, poor you, I think you will find these are thai traits too. Thai women haven't the need to learn this from western women, ask any thai man What's that thai saying about feeding it to the ducks?. That's been around long before western women came on the scene but hey, live in your fantasy but keep your women hating off of thaivisa please.

[new2bangkok]

I hate feminists

[Boo]

This is an interesting thread.. Something that stands out in my opinion, that someone may be missing is that maybe, just maybe, happiness isn't all about 'equality' in a relationship. If western style relationships were so good why do so many of them end in divorces?

I think the number of thai women who are divorced or left by thai men sort of makes this point a bit invalid. Look how many farang men in thailand take on a thai women who was left by a thai man, sualy with some kids in tow, if she were so fantastic then surely they would still be together with the first husband right? Isn't that what your post implies?

[eek]

Well said Boo!! I was about to say very similar too in your last point.

True, some Thai women have become westernized and that's a pity. But many, if not most, are a delight and, what most feminists find completely alarming, more woman than the feminists ever imagined possible. It's a tremendous relief to find a relationship in which one strives to do everything possible to bring pleasure to their mate because their mate feels and does the same for him. There are those poor souls that find this demeaning and evidence of the Thai woman being empty (absent opinions or thoughts of their own). Nothing could be further from the truth.

Venturalaw, i have to say that i think your statement is pretty extreme. Neither example is balanced imo, but i guess it is probably based on your own personal experiences of Western and Thai women? so understandable, although biased and unfair. Not all Thai women are delightful little flowers, not all Western women are unfeminine asexual feminists. In fact, many women (of any nationality and culture) can believe in some feminist ideals but still respect men and be feminine, loving and caring partners. Your view just seems very black and white in this respect.

[hhgz]

"True, some Thai women have become westernized and that's a pity."

Why? Can't you stand to be with a woman who has intelligence, gainful employment, confidence, and self-respect? Too, it's interesting as the thread was originally about the OP, and now it's all about you.

Edited August 9, 2009 by hhgz

[chiangmaibruce]

"True, some Thai women have become westernized and that's a pity."

Why? Can't you stand to be with a woman who has intelligence, gainful employment, confidence, and self-respect? Too, it's interesting as the thread was originally about the OP, and now it's all about you.

Give the guy a break! He made a post that expressed a particular view, had someone jump down his throat and then defended himself/clarified. Sounds fair to me. This is a discussion forum right?

Meanwhile you seem to be saying that Thai women can't posses any or all of the attributes you list - not just incorrect but hellishly biased i'd say

[venturalaw]

Well said Boo!! I was about to say very similar too in your last point.

True, some Thai women have become westernized and that's a pity. But many, if not most, are a delight and, what most feminists find completely alarming, more woman than the feminists ever imagined possible. It's a tremendous relief to find a relationship in which one strives to do everything possible to bring pleasure to their mate because their mate feels and does the same for him. There are those poor souls that find this demeaning and evidence of the Thai woman being empty (absent opinions or thoughts of their own). Nothing could be further from the truth.

Venturalaw, i have to say that i think your statement is pretty extreme. Neither example is balanced imo, but i guess it is probably based on your own personal experiences of Western and Thai women? so understandable, although biased and unfair. Not all Thai women are delightful little flowers, not all Western women are unfeminine asexual feminists. In fact, many women (of any nationality and culture) can believe in some feminist ideals but still respect men and be feminine, loving and caring partners. Your view just seems very black and white in this respect.

I respect you via your posts eek, and therefore am responding to you. Allow me to clear up an obviously prejudicial accusation that is factually inaccurate. I certainly do not hate women (as an extremist has so accused). It appears that if I disagree with a feminist moderator, I hate women. Bizarre.

Regarding your comment, I never said all women, and in fact I was actually commenting on a previous post stating:

"my old male buddies, married to typical 'Mercan women, doing ALL the maintenance and yard work around the house AND at least 50% of the housework--if not more--while also meeting the lion's share of the household finances and listening to countless expressions of opinion. If they have children, the men do quite a lot of support there, too, and change just as many diapers. I'd say the women are certainly dominant in those relationships."

In a follow up I said " It's a tremendous relief to find a relationship in which one strives to do everything possible to bring pleasure to their mate because their mate feels and does the same for him." From these comments it is assumed that I 'hate women'. Really weird.

For the record, I am certain relationships with western women can be and often are as mutually healthy. I just don't attribute the word 'hate' to relationships that are more traditional. My belief as I've stated in another thread is that a woman's role in a traditional marriage is more important than the man's role, for she is providing the primary care for the children. Nothing is more important than that. So much for my hatred of women.

Now, certainly not all western women deserve to be demonized as the astute boo so demonizes women who are Thai (perhaps she knows more about Thai women than I do, but I believe the actions that she attributes to Thai women are not so common. Again, I could be wrong, but it has not been my experience).

In short, I agree completely with your statement "In fact, many women (of any nationality and culture) can believe in some feminist ideals but still respect men and be feminine, loving and caring partners."

[Boo]

not just incorrect but hellishly biased i'd say

as were his posts too.

[Boo]

venturelaw, please show me any post where I have demonized thai women? Also please point out where I have stated I am a feminist? Or where I am being extremist. Or are you saying that only you are able to express your opinion but no one is allowed to question it?

I think you are back tracking because you realise your posts came across as being women hating so good for you but please don't try to discredit my opinion by trying to put me down or making snide attacks on me, it wont wash with me.

[hhgz]

You've inferred something that I did not imply. I never commented about the attributes of a Thai woman. I was commenting that he did not like his Thai women to be "westernized", and I gave a few examples. Evidently, he likes his women to be subservient, awed by his simple being and stature, and that's OK by me. The Thai women I've dated are "Westernized", with all of the attributes that I listed, and I like that.

[venturalaw]

venturelaw, please show me any post where I have demonized thai women? Also please point out where I have stated I am a feminist? Or where I am being extremist. Or are you saying that only you are able to express your opinion but no one is allowed to question it?

I think you are back tracking because you realise your posts came across as being women hating so good for you but please don't try to discredit my opinion by trying to put me down or making snide attacks on me, it wont wash with me.

please show me any post where I have demonized thai women

"thai gf/wives have become obsessively jealous, threatened & in some cases acted out violence etc towards their farang bf's/husbands.

"I stated that I am a feminist?"

You did not, but I have found that if a man comments about the negative traits of western women, he is accused (falsely) of 'hating women'. I refer you to post 211.

IMO, saying that I hate women is an extremist statement.

Or are you saying that only you are able to express your opinion but no one is allowed to question it?

I am not challenging your right or anyone's right to state their opinion. Never have, never will.

Nor have I backtracked. I merely quoted previous statements which were either ignored, or overlooked based upon the ridiculous accusation that I hate women.

Where have I put you down? Your statements that I am "unable to cope with a women who has an opinion", that I hate women, and referring to me as 'you poor dear' is evidence of your 'snide remarks'. Hence, bizarre.

[venturalaw]

You've inferred something that I did not imply. I never commented about the attributes of a Thai woman. I was commenting that he did not like his Thai women to be "westernized", and I gave a few examples. Evidently, he likes his women to be subservient, awed by his simple being and stature, and that's OK by me. The Thai women I've dated are "Westernized", with all of the attributes that I listed, and I like that.

Why do so many who seem to 'like' the attributes of Western women (generalization I know, but that is what was used) have to be insulting? Are you that unsure of yourself? Attempting to put me down, ie "his simple being and stature", does not serve to elevate you. In fact it has the opposite effect. Think about it.

[Boo]

my post on thai wives being jealous was in response to the suggestion that all thai women were excessively subservient. I suggested that poster read threads made by male posters who's experience clearly state the opposite.

If that is me demonsizing thai women then my views on you were spot on Good luck to you.

And funny how you missed this part from th same post though

Not all thai women are like it of course, only an idiot would suggest they were, as would someone be who suggested all western women were bossy, opinionated, overpowering etc

[venturalaw]

my post on thai wives being jealous was in response to the suggestion that all thai women were excessively subservient. I suggested that poster read threads made by male posters who's experience clearly state the opposite.

If that is me demonsizing thai women then my views on you were spot on Good luck to you.

I posted where you put down (demonizing is perhaps too strong a word) Thai women. It was clear.

I never never suggested that Thai women were subservient. If you were referring to another poster and not me, then I stand corrected.

Your insults and snide remarks were uncalled for, as was your accusation that I made snide remarks to you. Not true, unless you classify one being called a feminist as a snide remark. Then you may have a point.

[Ulysses G.]

It is never a good idea to argue with an irate moderator, but I have to agree that venturalaw is being accused unfairly of being a "women hater".

I have read a lot of his posts on the Chiang Mai forum and would possibly characterize him as a bit of a traditionalist, but certainly not hateful in any way.

[Boo]

I posted where you put down (demonizing is perhaps too strong a word) Thai women. It was clear.

Again, I never put down thai women, I told the poster to read threads where thai women were clearly not all excessively subservient.

I never never suggested that Thai women were subservient. If you were referring to another poster and not me, then I stand corrected.

Yes you do, I never said you did say that and my reply was clearly in reply to another poster, whom I did actually quote.

Your insults and snide remarks were uncalled for, as was your accusation that I made snide remarks to you. Not true, unless you classify one being called a feminist as a snide remark

Your offensive comments about western women were uncalled for, as were your snide remarks & name calling to me in your post to Eek.

But fyi, being called a feminist is a compliment, it is usually people who dont actually know or understand what it means to be one or what it stands for, that try to use it as an insult. But then that's their problem not mine.

[venturalaw]

I posted where you put down (demonizing is perhaps too strong a word) Thai women. It was clear.

Again, I never put down thai women, I told the poster to read threads where thai women were clearly not all excessively subservient.

I never never suggested that Thai women were subservient. If you were referring to another poster and not me, then I stand corrected.

Yes you do, I never said you did say that and my reply was clearly in reply to another poster, whom I did actually quote.

Your insults and snide remarks were uncalled for, as was your accusation that I made snide remarks to you. Not true, unless you classify one being called a feminist as a snide remark

Your offensive comments about western women were uncalled for, as were your snide remarks & name calling to me in your post to Eek.

But fyi, being called a feminist is a compliment, it is usually people who dont actually know or understand what it means to be one or what it stands for, that try to use it as an insult. But then that's their problem not mine.

My understanding of being a feminist is in part a quest for equality with men regarding salary, employment position, etc. It also therefore requires one to, in effect, man-up (own up) as in this case, to the mistakes made. You were wrong to say the following about/to me: "unable to cope with a women who has an opinion", that I hate women, and referring to me as 'you poor dear'. However you have chosen to ignore (not owning up) what you said. Now I have been counseled by others here that as a moderator you are able to do whatever you wish (on TV) because they believe that you can not be be found to be at fault, even when taking an indefensible position. Nice position to be in, but everyone here can see what you have posted (at least for now), and that you have failed to own up to the caustic, uncalled for remarks. It does not bode well, however, as one who first said show me where I said that I am a feminist, to stating that you are complimented for being referred to as a feminist. I am not really surprised.

As Jack Nicholson said in the movie 'As Good As It Gets" when asked how he writes "women so well", he explained that "I take a man, and remove reason and accountability." Not fair to all women of course, but there are some cases fairly close to home, aren't there dear?

[Boo]

Oh dear, that I said being called a feminist would be a compliment does not mean that I consider myself to be one. Again you read only what you wanted to to make yet more pointless insults. FYI I dont so anyting to deserve the feminist label beyond living in the world as a women.

Whoever counseled you (hmm 3 guesses) has made a mistake. I have not made any reference to me being a moderator nor threatened you with moderation but it does seem to be the go to cry of many posters who can't handle being called on their objectionable posts. Whatever, if you want to raise it to admin then go ahead otherwise don't try to accuse me of something I haven't done nor intended to do.

And fyi I was expressing feeling sorry for you when I said poor you. After reading your post I felt someone with such a naive view was probably going to have some kind of fall because of it. So if feeling sorry for someone is being caustic in your view then so be it.

And your last paragraph sort of clarifies the whole women hating thing doesn't it?

[venturalaw]

Oh dear, that I said being called a feminist would be a compliment does not mean that I consider myself to be one. Again you read only what you wanted to to make yet more pointless insults. FYI I dont so anyting to deserve the feminist label beyond living in the world as a women.

Whoever counseled you (hmm 3 guesses) has made a mistake. I have not made any reference to me being a moderator nor threatened you with moderation but it does seem to be the go to cry of many posters who can't handle being called on their objectionable posts. Whatever, if you want to raise it to admin then go ahead otherwise don't try to accuse me of something I haven't done nor intended to do.

And fyi I was expressing feeling sorry for you when I said poor you. After reading your post I felt someone with such a naive view was probably going to have some kind of fall because of it. So if feeling sorry for someone is being caustic in your view then so be it.

And your last paragraph sort of clarifies the whole women hating thing doesn't it?

No, it does not, but thanks for clearing up the fact that the 'Super Moderators' label in your avatar is meaningless.

Regarding your false pity (poor dear), no need. You just don't get it. It's ok.

You choose to equate my comments to woman hating although I have stated numerous times that is not how I feel. Those who know me well, women and men, know that nothing could be further from the truth. If I had accused you of man hating, and you proclaimed that you were not, I would apologize to you. That's an example of what I was referring to when talking about 'owning up', ie being able to admit one's errors, and moving on. Some people are able to, and some are not.

You were not insulted by me in any of the posts. You, however did insult me (as I specifically pointed out to you more than once), but it does not matter.

You and I are very different on several levels. Let's just leave it at that.

[Boo]

If I wished to moderate you I would not have responded to the thread, just instantly deleted your posts & warned you, so not meaningless to be a super moderator it only means I chose to not moderate where I have posted personally if I can help it, it is a standard aim of the whole team. Should I have thought you needed moderation I would have contacted another member of the team to look at your posts. I didn't do that either but not important to you right? Much easier to accuse & insult instead.

You and I are very different on several levels.

Yes. And I would say thankfully for both of us

Let's just leave it at that.

Gladly. Good luck.

[BusyB]

I am a single Chinese-American woman working for a multinational in BKK. I am in my forties, and in extremely good shape. Trim, fit and fashionable. And I am financially independent. My problem is I cannot seem to find any man to date me. And I know I am not bad to look at because I do get asked out everywhere else except in BKK!

I truly enjoy my work, but being a single foreign woman in BKK is tough. Should I ask my company to relocate me, or am I just not trying hard enough to meet men?

It would be interesting to hear from both men and women.

Thanks.

I've been in and outta this thread for the last few days. Observed all the intelligent comments about what may be wrong etc. and the undoubtedly well meant suggestions  as to how to rectify your vexing situation. But as a fairly straightforward type I'll just cut to the quick and say you sound like the kind of girl I'd like to meet in BKK. Unfortunately I won't be out there again till around the end of next year which doesn't really solve your problem does it? Shame.    

[Boo]

if you have a problem with moderation then raise it with admin. support(at)thaivisa.com I'm sure they will be interested to know how the 5 female mods & the 25+ male mods & admin equates to feminazi circus.

The female sniper

[easer]

Long time since i posted here, but i have to say, after reading this thread that facts are being ignored. Arguments like "ohh, you like women with no oppinions" usually is a defense from the unshaven women back home, because they feel threatened by the cute thais with no bad attitude towards men. Fact is, that op might have experienced, that competetion over here is big. And not nessesarely only for the women. It might be so for men even.

I was never into western women at all, for reasons that probably arent allowed to mention here, so i wont. But for a western man in Thailand that are into western pork, it might be hard competetion aswell for all i know. The thaiboys are more fit in the body up in age, same as the women, and i know quite a few younger thaiboys that are willing to take the not so attractive 40 + women from the west on the ride of their life. If they pay enough they even move in with them and share a bed (allthough in good old thaistyle they all have a young mia noi on the side) they even threat them very good.

If you are western man, and in your 40:s, a bit overweight and with a bit of old fashion view of what marriage is about, try to date a western girl in thailand. Even the unshaven feminist ones. They trow them after you at home, but over here they won´t look at you. They dont have to. They have better options. As do you. Way better i´d say.

Perhaps this sum up a little of the problems the op faces aswell?

Shortly, woman in your 40:s in Bangkok, looking for love? Open your wallet and go Thai babe. You´ll have the ride of your life!

[cobra]

This is a discussion forum right?

Wrong.

This is a feminazi circus put up to boost the feminazi egos of its admin and moderators.

Just read Boo's signature: "female sniper" and you don't need to read any further

Your probably already banned by now or have been given a time out, she's done it for less.

[Boo]

has "she". ? Don't tell me you are still smarting over the warning you got 6 months ago

Like I have said a couple of times already. got a problem with moderation go to admin.

[easer]

Well boo. A small remark here. We are ot allowed to discuss moderation so i wont. But however, the rules says that "degrading talk about women are not allowed". I once was told by an admin (a real one, not the new fake ones) that degrading talk about men or anything else were not allowed either (on a post by you boo actually) but the rules specified women because that was the most common thing to talk degrading about.

Just a reminder. With boo her highness being in the position she is, that it is actually not allowed to talk degrading about men either, and from what i see only in this thread you should put yourself on a 3 week ban in all fairness. .

But then again, this is your life so stay here babe. Me myself is happy to take a few days ban because i rarely have time to post here anyway, hahaha. .

[Boo]

what degrading talk about men have I posted? Please quote the entire post. This is serious now because I make a point of not making daft comments about "men this or western men that" & it is one of the reasons I find it so offensive when I read the posts made about women. So please, show me the posts/s you are referencing.

[easer]

Well in this thread only you have so far made comments like:

I mention this for all the happy women who do not miss what a farang man has to offer.

and :

Just cause you are unable to cope with a women who has an opinion

(the latter actually VERY degrading towards Thai women aswell).

You sneek them in all the time and we all see them boo. Im pretty convinced that you now will come with some lame explanations how you mea this as you always do. But for frequent readers and sponsors of this site it dosent cut it. We see true it and you should now ban yourself. Its been going on for long time and i think a fair ounishment for you would be to stay of the forum for at least 3 hours.

[easer]

Ohh, and btw. Dont bother the phrase "raise it with admin" this time. Because when i do so i will raise it with george on the next renewal of the contract. Not with one of your good friends. .

[cdnvic]

Well in this thread only you have so far made comments like:

I mention this for all the happy women who do not miss what a farang man has to offer.

and :

Just cause you are unable to cope with a women who has an opinion

(the latter actually VERY degrading towards Thai women aswell).

You sneek them in all the time and we all see them boo. Im pretty convinced that you now will come with some lame explanations how you mea this as you always do. But for frequent readers and sponsors of this site it dosent cut it. We see true it and you should now ban yourself. Its been going on for long time and i think a fair ounishment for you would be to stay of the forum for at least 3 hours.

If you find those degrading you really need to get a thicker skin. Stop being a wuss.

btw, I've never seen any sponsor on this entire forum ever need to threaten to pull support just because someone disagrees with them. Thats a lame way to win a debate.

Edited August 9, 2009 by cdnvic