Help About A Girl I Met

[Geekfreaklover]

Just dont give her money and problem solved .

If you meet her again ask her to pay next time you eat.

If she really loves you she will pay.

Or attack you with the nearest sharpest object.

[Beardog]

Same story as told for millennium on Thaivia.

Best advice...............Don't do anything stupid Use your big head to do the thinking( I know it is not as much fun)

Do Not under any circumstances BREAK DOWN & send money for the sick family or family cow that is sick.

I hooked up with a dynamite chick from a bar in Krabi.She had all the moves & aimed to please Had a kid( )

When it came time to move up here I met a gal that had a real profession as a beauty stylist .

We have been together since the Tsunami she saved me from in 2004. There are no time differences on waiting for romance on a good girl or a bar girl. Your mind tells you it is easier to score with a bar girl- truth is most Thai women are waiting for a foreigner to ask them to go out to lunch & get the ball rolling.

You still need to remember Rule number 1. Use your upper brain & not your lower one! Your young keep it simple- You will enjoy Thailand much more. & better wrap it up kids & aids are a dime a dozen out here.

Good luck on your quest!

[dvc]

I’ve a long history with Thailand and Thai women, both “good girls” and bar girls. I can tell you that they are two distinctly different species. Good girls would not for a minute consider stepping inside a bar, let alone offering themselves in exchange for money. The stigma associated with being seen with a western foreigner in public, is sufficient for most Thai women to avoid such encounters. Believe me, it takes a strong girl to put up with the casual, almost matter-of-fact disdain that many Thais dish out to women in the company of a foreigner.

On the subject of bar girls…yes, it’s quite possible for emotional attachment to develop on both sides, but remember, she needs money to survive and eventually you’ll be required to, or feel compelled to offer her money. That doesn’t mean she doesn’t like you, it’s just the way things work in Thailand. Even in a ‘straight’ relationship with a Thai female, the man is expected to pay for things, be he Thai or foreign. Bar girls often have “special” customer relationships, especially if they don’t have a Thai boyfriend. For them it’s a bit of fun with someone who’s not entirely unattractive, (unlike most of the men she sees), and she gets a little money to boot. Just don’t take it too seriously…that’s important to remember.

When I was your age I had both sorts of relationship and each has its compensations and drawbacks. A relationship with a “good girl” can be life changing, and the chance exists to discover much about Thai society and what it means to be a Thai that is otherwise unknown to foreigners outside of such a relationship. A “special” relationship with a bar girl can be a lot of fun and quite satisfying on a superficial level, but don’t expect the kind of depth that’s possible with a regular Thai girl. You’re young…enjoy yourself and don’t take it too seriously…ok?

[dumbnewbie]

Sounds like good advice regardless of whether one can live full time in Thailand. Falling in love is wonderful, but the problem is it never lasts, and sometimes you get your heart broken, and sometimes that heartbreak can be more intense and a lot longer-lasting than the love!

But easier said than done... any tips?

What a load of rubbish.... I couldnt disagree with you more dude.

You will agree eventually. In all probability, that is. But if you're one of the lucky few who find everlasting love, good on you!

Edited August 18, 2009 by dumbnewbie

[mrtoad]

No i havent given her any money and I dont plan on it.. not in a bad way its just I wouldnt want to create a habit if you know what I mean.

According to her she has left phuket (she was only there for a while) and gone back to her village and is starting a new job. She never actually worked in the bar.. I am a really skeptical guy though and I dont know if I would trust her even if she WAS telling the truth.. the more I read these forums the more i feel ive got a mozzaball hanging out of my mouth.

Should i just put communication on ice till i see her again in 5 months? If so how? The thing is I dont want to lead her on over that period because if she is being truthful she has to catch a coach from her village which is 900km's away to see me... oh why am i so cynical.

This is a wind up right?

The girl you met has not gone back to her villiage to think about you. She was calling you from a quiet area in the bar in between servicing other clients. The girl that claims to be her sister isn't her sister shes a fellow bargirl. You are being LIED to.

Throw in a greedy isaan family, a kid, a Thai boyfriend / Husband lurking in the distance and you'll be in for a whale of a time..

I don't think that the OP is going to listen to any advice being given, as he has clearly already made up his mind. It's like watching a train wreck.

[DLock]

It's a fair bet that all of us learnt the hard way about Thai girls, one way or another.

We had a bit of fun, lost a little cash and in the end was schooled by a better player. Some of us don't even know we were (or are) being played.

Let this kid make the mistakes and learn himself. It's the only way to harden up.

We all did, and despite a few soldiers losing their way...and a house, car and a chunk of change along the way...we are still here to fight another day.

Enjoy the good fight son...and you'll know when she's lying...her lips are moving.

And double bag it.

[khundon]

Another one bites the dust.

[greytown]

my windows give on a uni parking lot. at least 25 cars by day with red plate gets there(means brand new car), i see 18yo girls driving brand new honda jazz with all the addons, mazda 3's, mercedes, honda civic of the year.. i bet they get that with their weekend job @ 7/11

Might these Uni girls with brand new cars simply be rich kids? Same as in the West?

[aubutie]

i'm a pretty clued up guy

your post would indicate otherwise

sorry mate, my comment was slighly facecious

however looking at your first post again its even more appropriate,

you said it was your second time in Phuket, what were you doing first time, playing tiddlywinks ?

you met a bueatiful bargirl and freaked out becuase she was not a stereotypical prostitue, what planet you living on

she said she remembered youfrom a bar, beleieve me these girls are more intelligent in a streetwise way than you think, they remeber every farang they see in a bar, and if they don't they tell you they did anyway

her younger sister said she never went with a man for money, if you want to beleueve that its up to you (has she ever said 'up to you', 'same same' to you

she wanted to meet a nice foreigner to take care of her and her child. - that's par for the course mate

dont want to get my feelings hurt, nor do I want to hurt hers - its you that'l get hurt mate, she will do whatever she can to survive and look after her family (remember that, they are far far far more important to her than you ever will be - and van you blame her - I can't)

you seem to be wanting people that heve never met either of you will be in for a wonderful blissgull relationship with a stunningly beatiful girl who hopefully has not slept with other men for money - because thats what you want to here

please note i am not blaming the bargirls for being bargirls, they come from a much harder world than we do, you are just another financial transaction to them and there families (and you aint the only one), thats how it is mate if you dont want to believe it, then thats 'up to you'

if your intelligent your a wum, if you clued up your to naive to be true,

[bangla]

my god ..

what's wrong with you people.

i've never seen so many whiny, broken hearted, damaged cry babies at one place before.

you guys make it seem like thai women are worse than saddam houssain and osama bin laden put together is a sexy dress.

the OP is 20 years old, not 3 years old.

i'm sure he has dumped a fair share of women already and that he has been dumped by women in his home country as well.

let the guy have his holiday romance <deleted>...

at his age he's probably gonna find his next big love at some discotheque next weekend.

christ almighty...

[Eazy-Going]

my god ..

what's wrong with you people.

i've never seen so many whiny, broken hearted, damaged cry babies at one place before.

you guys make it seem like thai women are worse than saddam houssain and osama bin laden put together is a sexy dress.

the OP is 20 years old, not 3 years old.

i'm sure he has dumped a fair share of women already and that he has been dumped by women in his home country as well.

let the guy have his holiday romance <deleted>...

at his age he's probably gonna find his next big love at some discotheque next weekend.

christ almighty...

Too true....at last someone telling it how it is. A lot of bitter and twisted old men on here who've had their fingers burnt and want to tar all Thai people

with the same brush!!! The same can happen with any girl from any country, just that the choice and usually the availablility of the Thai ladies is a lot more accessible. Bet a lot of the posters on here are in Thailand because of failed relationships in their own countries, and your not telling me they got away from them scott free without any financial losses. It is possible to meet nice Thai girls, and what's the issue with enjoying your time with some bar girls, they know how to show you a good time and are very caring. Not all Thai girls are liars and not all are only after your money. You would expect to pay for dates etc in any relationship and at least the consequences are stacked in your favour, in that you can have your fun and then walk away if it doesn't suit. You must appreciate that a lot of the guys who are answering your post are at least twice your age and can probably only get bar girls due to their looks etc. As many have said on here, only you can make that judgement and despite what has been said, you do come across as quite switched on for a 20 year old, they are looking at things through old and often very sceptical eyes.

Enjoy the moment

[Lite Beer]

Thanks for getting this back on track. Eazy-Going .I am twice the OP's age and agree with you. Thai Women are no different to any Women in the world. The op may or may not have found a wrong un here but that is nothing to do with the fact that she is Thai.

[britmaveric]

Eazy-Going - the lad got advice and he is appreciative. Nought wrong with other lads sharing their views on this situation. However at the end of the day only way someone learns is from the experience itself.

You must appreciate I am least twice your age and can probably only get bar girls due to my looks etc.

Don't be so hard on yourself mate, we all have our faults!!

[zorro1]

my god ..

what's wrong with you people.

i've never seen so many whiny, broken hearted, damaged cry babies at one place before.

you guys make it seem like thai women are worse than saddam houssain and osama bin laden put together is a sexy dress.

the OP is 20 years old, not 3 years old.

i'm sure he has dumped a fair share of women already and that he has been dumped by women in his home country as well.

let the guy have his holiday romance <deleted>...

at his age he's probably gonna find his next big love at some discotheque next weekend.

christ almighty...

Too true....at last someone telling it how it is. A lot of bitter and twisted old men on here who've had their fingers burnt and want to tar all Thai people

with the same brush!!! The same can happen with any girl from any country, just that the choice and usually the availablility of the Thai ladies is a lot more accessible. Bet a lot of the posters on here are in Thailand because of failed relationships in their own countries, and your not telling me they got away from them scott free without any financial losses. It is possible to meet nice Thai girls, and what's the issue with enjoying your time with some bar girls, they know how to show you a good time and are very caring. Not all Thai girls are liars and not all are only after your money. You would expect to pay for dates etc in any relationship and at least the consequences are stacked in your favour, in that you can have your fun and then walk away if it doesn't suit. You must appreciate that a lot of the guys who are answering your post are at least twice your age and can probably only get bar girls due to their looks etc. As many have said on here, only you can make that judgement and despite what has been said, you do come across as quite switched on for a 20 year old, they are looking at things through old and often very sceptical eyes.

Enjoy the moment

"Not all Thai girls are liars and not all are only after your money"

seems to be confusion between east and west. Western women don't need your money, if you are dating middle class. For starters these days they earn the same money unless we talking CEO'S where its mostly male. Western women will use you as a sex toy when she is in the mood and may never call you again, many don't want the hassle. Thai women want your money, do not believe anything else. I never once met a bum living in 200 bht 5 sqm room that managed to secure a normal regular gal. In the west if she lives and earns the minimum wage same as you, they will move in combine wages and love will blossom. This will not happen here while your A*s points to the ground if you earn 300 bht per day!!

[Eazy-Going]

Eazy-Going - the lad got advice and he is appreciative. Nought wrong with other lads sharing their views on this situation. However at the end of the day only way someone learns is from the experience itself.

You must appreciate I am least twice your age and can probably only get bar girls due to my looks etc.

Don't be so hard on yourself mate, we all have our faults!!

Point taken and apologies...it just gets my goat though why so many posters on here are just so negative all of the time about Thailand and its people, and often only one view/opinion, usually in its most critisizing form, is given. I'm also twice the OP's age so hope my post did not come across as ageist, it's just that the more I read the more I thought that the posters were just using it to have a dig at Thai women and were not addressing the subject matter at hand....sorry!

[Eazy-Going]

my god ..

what's wrong with you people.

i've never seen so many whiny, broken hearted, damaged cry babies at one place before.

you guys make it seem like thai women are worse than saddam houssain and osama bin laden put together is a sexy dress.

the OP is 20 years old, not 3 years old.

i'm sure he has dumped a fair share of women already and that he has been dumped by women in his home country as well.

let the guy have his holiday romance <deleted>...

at his age he's probably gonna find his next big love at some discotheque next weekend.

christ almighty...

Too true....at last someone telling it how it is. A lot of bitter and twisted old men on here who've had their fingers burnt and want to tar all Thai people

with the same brush!!! The same can happen with any girl from any country, just that the choice and usually the availablility of the Thai ladies is a lot more accessible. Bet a lot of the posters on here are in Thailand because of failed relationships in their own countries, and your not telling me they got away from them scott free without any financial losses. It is possible to meet nice Thai girls, and what's the issue with enjoying your time with some bar girls, they know how to show you a good time and are very caring. Not all Thai girls are liars and not all are only after your money. You would expect to pay for dates etc in any relationship and at least the consequences are stacked in your favour, in that you can have your fun and then walk away if it doesn't suit. You must appreciate that a lot of the guys who are answering your post are at least twice your age and can probably only get bar girls due to their looks etc. As many have said on here, only you can make that judgement and despite what has been said, you do come across as quite switched on for a 20 year old, they are looking at things through old and often very sceptical eyes.

Enjoy the moment

"Not all Thai girls are liars and not all are only after your money"

seems to be confusion between east and west. Western women don't need your money, if you are dating middle class. For starters these days they earn the same money unless we talking CEO'S where its mostly male. Western women will use you as a sex toy when she is in the mood and may never call you again, many don't want the hassle. Thai women want your money, do not believe anything else. I never once met a bum living in 200 bht 5 sqm room that managed to secure a normal regular gal. In the west if she lives and earns the minimum wage same as you, they will move in combine wages and love will blossom. This will not happen here while your A*s points to the ground if you earn 300 bht per day!!

Western women may not 'need' your money as much, but they sure like to take it...

[britmaveric]

No worries mate - only trying to lighten the mood up.

Any rate - obviously no thai women is the same as the next (just like any person in the world) and this includes the birds who work the bar. However if you know what to look for in regards to scams ect you can minimize any potential damage you might get from ladies who tend to be not too honest. Knowledge is power and that is why those who attempt to scam usually look for the lads fresh off the boat rather than the seasoned vets.

[Petesear]

As for the OP, you are skating on thin ice, you may find you are being lied to and it may all go tits up.. But why not give it a go? Don't start sending loads of cash over there so she doesn't need to 'work' in a bar and prepare yourself for her to 'meet' someone else.

Save your money and turn up unannounced it will be a nice surprise and it will give you an insight in to her life whilst you are not there.

Don't listen to all the old cynics on here who claim to have never frequented a bar but always seem to know lots about bar girls.......

[ontherock]

As for the OP, you are skating on thin ice, you may find you are being lied to and it may all go tits up.. But why not give it a go? Don't start sending loads of cash over there so she doesn't need to 'work' in a bar and prepare yourself for her to 'meet' someone else.

Save your money and turn up unannounced it will be a nice surprise and it will give you an insight in to her life whilst you are not there.

Don't listen to all the old cynics on here who claim to have never frequented a bar but always seem to know lots about bar girls.......

The Op is 20+, enjoy your life.

If you want to go out with someone who admits that she has customers and turns up late and is only thinking about you thats fine. the question is, would you feel the same with a girl you met that said and did the same thing in your own counrty? only you can answer that.

if you want to send here money - again - that is up to you but would you send a girl money in your on counrty money that you have just met? if you do decide to send her money and it goes wrong then dont be surpised and don't complain about it.

i do agree with the above comment about turning up unanounced.

If it does not work out dont worry about it Thailand has 1000's of girls that will be wanting to go with a young Farlang.

If is does work out after 5 months of being apart, then enjoy it!

[nputman]

My suggestion is to use the search engine. Simply type in the word "RUN" and see how many times it is used here in regard to your situation.

[ontherock]

KEY WORD HERE IS BAR............... GIRL IN BAR...............BAR GIRL AS IN PROSTITUTE........WAKE UP AND SPELL THE PAD THAI...........

i competely agree

[Artisi]

KEY WORD HERE IS BAR............... GIRL IN BAR...............BAR GIRL AS IN PROSTITUTE........WAKE UP AND SPELL THE PAD THAI...........

i competely agree

Is that SPELL or smell the pad Thai.

[Lite Beer]

A post containing insulting generalisations about Thai Women has been deleted. Along with the replies to it.

[cyb]

KEY WORD HERE IS BAR............... GIRL IN BAR...............BAR GIRL AS IN PROSTITUTE........WAKE UP AND SPELL THE PAD THAI...........

i competely agree

Then you need to wake up and smell the coffee and do not tar all thai girls/women with the same brush.

[Geekfreaklover]

KEY WORD HERE IS BAR............... GIRL IN BAR...............BAR GIRL AS IN PROSTITUTE........WAKE UP AND SPELL THE PAD THAI...........

i competely agree

Then you need to wake up and smell the coffee and do not tar all thai girls/women with the same brush.

You with one too then?

[cyb]

.

You with one too then?

Elaborate or at the every least make sense.

[villagefarang]

Most of you old farts never experienced being young in Thailand. You are old, so are placed in the sugar-daddy (atm) category. How else would you expect young girls to look at you? At his age, let him enjoy it as long as it lasts. I'm sure he will have many more loves in his life but this one is miss right, for right now.

[Geekfreaklover]

Most of you old farts never experienced being young in Thailand. You are old, so are placed in the sugar-daddy (atm) category. How else would you expect young girls to look at you? At his age, let him enjoy it as long as it lasts. I'm sure he will have many more loves in his life but this one is miss right, for right now.

VF, I am many years younger than you. I just don't want to see a young man flush his life down the toilet on account of a working lady. I accept the majority of people on TV are in this situation already. But the OP is too young to join the club.

[villagefarang]

Most of you old farts never experienced being young in Thailand. You are old, so are placed in the sugar-daddy (atm) category. How else would you expect young girls to look at you? At his age, let him enjoy it as long as it lasts. I'm sure he will have many more loves in his life but this one is miss right, for right now.

VF, I am many years younger than you. I just don't want to see a young man flush his life down the toilet on account of a working lady. I accept the majority of people on TV are in this situation already. But the OP is too young to join the club.

I survived a misspent youth in Thailand and have know girls from every social class. If I didn't end up "down the toilet" I'm sure there are other young lads who can survive as well.

[villagefarang]

In reply to the above look at my profile and previous postings.

Then give your apology publicly please.

One other thing if you look at someones profile Would it not '

be polite to leave a comment@?

So...were you being impolite by stopping by my profile page without leaving a comment?