Age Differences In Spouses: What Do Thai People Think About It?

[way2muchcoffee]

Not that it is related to this thread in any way, but I work closely with the children of several respectable Indian families in their homes. In BKK this is a very close knit community that upholds traditional values regarding miscegenation. There is no way any of those kids will go on to marry anyone other than an Indian man or woman. And given the general level of intelligence, motivation, and perspicacity I see compared to all other nationalities I work with I can't hardly blame them.

Edited August 21, 2009 by way2muchcoffee

[rixalex]

I do wonder what young woman see in wimpy young men.. I mean really, what?

Same as what young women see in wimpy old men i guess.

[dondraper]

People always throw out that Bruce Willis or George Clooney line about age gaps. The difference is, most men and women would be impressed if a young girl claimed to be one of these guys girl friends where as if one of you old guys even approached a young University girl in Emporium they would probably be very embarrassed and their friends would be dying of laughter.

Now, if you go to a really poor area where the people are lucky to have indoor plumbing and are living hand to mouth, then sure, many will be equally impressed that a young girl was able to nab her an old buffalo farang.

Anyways... enjoy yourselves but lets not go overboard comparing yourself to Pierce Brosnan or Sean Penn.

[pianopele]

I think she should me more than 25 years. Your age is irrelevant. / Pele

[sokal]

here's a question i'd like to add to this thread...

and please try and answer as honestly and seriously as possible( lol if that's possible)

to all the farang men that are in a relationship with a woman 20+ years your jnr, if you have children and for sake of arguement lets say a daughter

how would you feel if your daughter was involved with a man 20+ years her age or her husband was the same age or older than you the farang/dad

would this matter? would you feel comfortable? would you believe as long as your daughter is happy that it's not a problem?

or would you find the whole situation uneasy? or would being in a relataionship with a large age gap yourself remove any stigma and ill feeling towrads your daughters older partner?

Obviously they would feel mad and uneasy but they would probably not admit it. Many of them on this forum will pretend they didnt see this post.

[sokal]

here's a question i'd like to add to this thread...

and please try and answer as honestly and seriously as possible( lol if that's possible)

to all the farang men that are in a relationship with a woman 20+ years your jnr, if you have children and for sake of arguement lets say a daughter

how would you feel if your daughter was involved with a man 20+ years her age or her husband was the same age or older than you the farang/dad

would this matter? would you feel comfortable? would you believe as long as your daughter is happy that it's not a problem?

or would you find the whole situation uneasy? or would being in a relataionship with a large age gap yourself remove any stigma and ill feeling towrads your daughters older partner?

My background.

Japanese GF, beautiful, 23years my junior, together over 5 years. Her biggest worry is that I will dump her for a newer model -

My daughter aged 20, seriously head turner gorgeous, is good friends with my GF. I often say to her(my daughter) that one day she will realize older guys are better ...

I do wonder what young woman see in wimpy young men.. I mean really, what?

I am 6'4 200 pounds.

I really do wonder what young women see in sloppy old men.

Edited August 21, 2009 by sokal

[SMEEERE]

Anything over 17 ,,,up to you, your paying ( thats what the thais think and who are we to argue )

[G54]

here's a question i'd like to add to this thread...

and please try and answer as honestly and seriously as possible( lol if that's possible)

to all the farang men that are in a relationship with a woman 20+ years your jnr, if you have children and for sake of arguement lets say a daughter

how would you feel if your daughter was involved with a man 20+ years her age or her husband was the same age or older than you the farang/dad

would this matter? would you feel comfortable? would you believe as long as your daughter is happy that it's not a problem?

or would you find the whole situation uneasy? or would being in a relataionship with a large age gap yourself remove any stigma and ill feeling towrads your daughters older partner?

As for me, me children's happiness would be my first consideration though I would be uneasy and want to make sure she is happy. Sometimes we have to swallow hard, bitter pills where our children are concerned because they do not always live up to standard.

[F1fanatic]

When I first came to Thailand, I had as an acquaintance an Indian- and UK-educated, 54-year-old Thai man who is well-connected in Thai society. (Hi-so Thais tend to send their offspring to an English-speaking school in India and thence to college/university in the UK.) At the time, I was looking for a girlfriend. I discussed with him where I might find a suitable partner and what sort of age difference I should be looking at. I was 45 at the time and I suggested to him that round about 35 would do me just fine. He found my suggestion amusing and said that, especially since I did not look my age, I should be looking for someone much younger, about 24-25. I, in turn, found his suggestion scarecely credible. What on earth would I be doing wandering around with someone 20 years my junior? What would we talk about? What kind of life-project could we possibly have in common?

Now, many years later, I am still in the dark as to what kind of age difference a respectable Thai woman would deem to be acceptable.

I am wondering, what experiences do other TV members have regarding advice given by Thai people on age differences between partners in romance?

Unfortunately there are v few Thai people on the forum (who have grown up in Thailand) to answer your question honestly.

Bkkbound tried to put the question in an interesting way (from a farang point of view) - but nobody's about to answer that honestly either!

[F1fanatic]

When I first came to Thailand, I had as an acquaintance an Indian- and UK-educated, 54-year-old Thai man who is well-connected in Thai society. (Hi-so Thais tend to send their offspring to an English-speaking school in India and thence to college/university in the UK.) At the time, I was looking for a girlfriend. I discussed with him where I might find a suitable partner and what sort of age difference I should be looking at. I was 45 at the time and I suggested to him that round about 35 would do me just fine. He found my suggestion amusing and said that, especially since I did not look my age, I should be looking for someone much younger, about 24-25. I, in turn, found his suggestion scarecely credible. What on earth would I be doing wandering around with someone 20 years my junior? What would we talk about? What kind of life-project could we possibly have in common?

Now, many years later, I am still in the dark as to what kind of age difference a respectable Thai woman would deem to be acceptable.

I am wondering, what experiences do other TV members have regarding advice given by Thai people on age differences between partners in romance?

Unfortunately there are v few (if any) Thai people who spent their lives in Thailand on the forum to answer the OP's question.

Bkkbound asks a v good question from the farang point of view.

As can be seen from the responses, farangs are not prepared to face this embarrassing question honestly.

Edited August 21, 2009 by F1fanatic

[sokal]

here's a question i'd like to add to this thread...

and please try and answer as honestly and seriously as possible( lol if that's possible)

to all the farang men that are in a relationship with a woman 20+ years your jnr, if you have children and for sake of arguement lets say a daughter

how would you feel if your daughter was involved with a man 20+ years her age or her husband was the same age or older than you the farang/dad

would this matter? would you feel comfortable? would you believe as long as your daughter is happy that it's not a problem?

or would you find the whole situation uneasy? or would being in a relataionship with a large age gap yourself remove any stigma and ill feeling towrads your daughters older partner?

As for me, me children's happiness would be my first consideration though I would be uneasy and want to make sure she is happy. Sometimes we have to swallow hard, bitter pills where our children are concerned because they do not always live up to standard.

So marrying men 20+ there age is not living up to standard. I agree.

[reallyok]

Of course the answer would differ depending on the girls age. if she was 18, she would say a few years most. if she was 30, dating a 50 yr old would be ok. but it's up to the individual.

What are doing writing a book on the subject? if so I suggest you go to Thai female forum and do a survey.

No, I'm not writing a book. I asked a perfectly serious question because I want to know the answer, for reasons that need not concern you. Why should I do a survey? The responses might be biased. Why is asking here not sufficient? I am likely to get honest responses based on anecdotal evidence (except for people who attempt to be snide, of course......no names mentioned, wink, wink, say no more.)

Hey chris..........my g/f is 40 but looks 26. I am 73 but look 60. We are happy, her friends are happy , her family are happy.

So who gives a rats ass !

You need to get it into your head that you are in an Asian society here in Thailand and not a western one. The only people who don't seem able to accept us as a couple are usually "over the hill" females from UK, Europe and USA.

[reallyok]

Asked Ms. Brit she say.... "Thai lady not think about what age is respectable, but if she love who she is with and he take care of her."

Well said Mr Brit, that just about sums it up, and say g'day to the honest Mrs Brit for me.

[reallyok]

My experience with so called "Hi So" Thais is that first of all, they rarely marry farangs, and they rarely have more than around 7-8 years age difference, and as a student at the most expensive university line in Thailand I can say that almost NONE of the "high class" Thais send their kids to India. I have so far not met any who have been to India, some send them to US, Australia, Singapore and UK, but none to India... Why on earth would they send their kids to India???

I can't speak for today, but the guy I knew, who will be 63 now, was sent to school in India, as was his brother; and it was, apparently, a standard deal. He was far from the only Thai at his Indian school. So, even though you have never met any who have been to India, some hi-so Thai went, nevertheless. Think back 60 years, when India had only recently overthrown the shackles of British colonialism and her education system was like Little Britain. What would a well-off, hi-so Thai be thinking? India is close. It is good value. The education was good. Why send kids far afield to go to school? Better to save money to send them to good universities in the UK or US later on.

I don't see the relevance of your point that so-called hi-so Thais rarely marry farangs. It doesn't seem to have anything to do with anything that anyone else has posted, including myself. (Not that it isn't true; I'm sure it is. Just that it does not seem to be relevant.....I, for one, would not touch a high-so Thai woman with a 10-foot pole. Indeed, I wouldn't touch a hi-so woman from anywhere with a 10-foot pole. Too much posturing, not enough substance.)

Well Im sure you could be right about the past, all I know about is present day. You asked about the age difference, and since the first problem is being accepted as a farang, then the age difference can only pose a greater problem. It took me four years to be accepted by my parents-in-law, and a demand that I get a higher education, and we are almost the same age (and we are young, below 30)

Of course your parents in law were worried, after all you are just a kid

[F1fanatic]

Of course the answer would differ depending on the girls age. if she was 18, she would say a few years most. if she was 30, dating a 50 yr old would be ok. but it's up to the individual.

What are doing writing a book on the subject? if so I suggest you go to Thai female forum and do a survey.

No, I'm not writing a book. I asked a perfectly serious question because I want to know the answer, for reasons that need not concern you. Why should I do a survey? The responses might be biased. Why is asking here not sufficient? I am likely to get honest responses based on anecdotal evidence (except for people who attempt to be snide, of course......no names mentioned, wink, wink, say no more.)

Hey chris..........my g/f is 40 but looks 26. I am 73 but look 60. We are happy, her friends are happy , her family are happy.

So who gives a rats ass !

You need to get it into your head that you are in an Asian society here in Thailand and not a western one. The only people who don't seem able to accept us as a couple are usually "over the hill" females from UK, Europe and USA.

Hate to break this to you, its Western people in general who find it embarrassing. Younger women find it as repugnant as older women, they (like men), hide it better.

But - if you're happy, then why care - its not a problem to worry about.

Edited August 21, 2009 by F1fanatic

[sokal]

Of course the answer would differ depending on the girls age. if she was 18, she would say a few years most. if she was 30, dating a 50 yr old would be ok. but it's up to the individual.

What are doing writing a book on the subject? if so I suggest you go to Thai female forum and do a survey.

No, I'm not writing a book. I asked a perfectly serious question because I want to know the answer, for reasons that need not concern you. Why should I do a survey? The responses might be biased. Why is asking here not sufficient? I am likely to get honest responses based on anecdotal evidence (except for people who attempt to be snide, of course......no names mentioned, wink, wink, say no more.)

Hey chris..........my g/f is 40 but looks 26. I am 73 but look 60. We are happy, her friends are happy , her family are happy.

So who gives a rats ass !

You need to get it into your head that you are in an Asian society here in Thailand and not a western one. The only people who don't seem able to accept us as a couple are usually "over the hill" females from UK, Europe and USA.

I don't think it has anything to do with Asian society. There is lots of old men in the west with very young partners. You just need more money in the west to pull it off. The more young men with money there is, the less old men with young women there is.

[tmwke]

When I first came to Thailand, I had as an acquaintance an Indian- and UK-educated, 54-year-old Thai man who is well-connected in Thai society. (Hi-so Thais tend to send their offspring to an English-speaking school in India and thence to college/university in the UK.) At the time, I was looking for a girlfriend. I discussed with him where I might find a suitable partner and what sort of age difference I should be looking at. I was 45 at the time and I suggested to him that round about 35 would do me just fine. He found my suggestion amusing and said that, especially since I did not look my age, I should be looking for someone much younger, about 24-25. I, in turn, found his suggestion scarecely credible. What on earth would I be doing wandering around with someone 20 years my junior? What would we talk about? What kind of life-project could we possibly have in common?

Now, many years later, I am still in the dark as to what kind of age difference a respectable Thai woman would deem to be acceptable.

I am wondering, what experiences do other TV members have regarding advice given by Thai people on age differences between partners in romance?

OK First i will not answer your question,and then i will ! I am 60 my wife is 32 been with her since she was 24. They only problem is i think somtimes she is to old ! Next if and not very often the age thing comes up with Thai people they think its to greater age difference,but you can only see it in there face not what they say.In Thailand its ok for the majority of Thais (men) to <deleted>> younger women but they should be married to women closer to there own age but Mi bpen ri.

[IanForbes]

People always throw out that Bruce Willis or George Clooney line about age gaps. The difference is, most men and women would be impressed if a young girl claimed to be one of these guys girl friends where as if one of you old guys even approached a young University girl in Emporium they would probably be very embarrassed and their friends would be dying of laughter.

Now, if you go to a really poor area where the people are lucky to have indoor plumbing and are living hand to mouth, then sure, many will be equally impressed that a young girl was able to nab her an old buffalo farang.

Anyways... enjoy yourselves but lets not go overboard comparing yourself to Pierce Brosnan or Sean Penn.

Very true, but the perspective is exactly the same when you have a poor Thai farm girl hooking up with an older farang with enough money to take care of her and her family. 75% of most relationships around the world have some sort of financial arrangement. In many Indian marriages it is all arranged by the parents and the two participants don't have any say in it at all.

Personally, I have very little in common with most women I meet. How many women want to go hunting and fishing, or sleep in a tent in the wilderness to do so? How many women want to watch the football games on TV? How many want to try extreme sports? A FEW young ones maybe, but certainly none over the age of 35 or 40. Men are still doing those things in their seventies.

And, to balance it all out, how many men enjoy house cleaning, changing diapers, talking about what junior did in grade one at school, or discussing the latest soap opera on TV? How many men truly enjoy gossiping about who is screwing whose husband in the little Peyton Place that goes on everywhere?

I'm a big boy now. I no longer need a mommy to look after me. I'm a better cook than most women I know and can live with a little dust around the house.

That leaves it down to sex, and it's much cheaper to pay for it with no questions asked than support someone you have very little in common with.

[Jangot]

Ian, I always enjoy your honest "this is how it is with me and stuff your opinion" posts.

I admire how you are so comfortable with your life.

My only complaint is that you ended your last sentence with a preposition. No, no, only jesting :-)

Cheers,

J.

[sokal]

When I first came to Thailand, I had as an acquaintance an Indian- and UK-educated, 54-year-old Thai man who is well-connected in Thai society. (Hi-so Thais tend to send their offspring to an English-speaking school in India and thence to college/university in the UK.) At the time, I was looking for a girlfriend. I discussed with him where I might find a suitable partner and what sort of age difference I should be looking at. I was 45 at the time and I suggested to him that round about 35 would do me just fine. He found my suggestion amusing and said that, especially since I did not look my age, I should be looking for someone much younger, about 24-25. I, in turn, found his suggestion scarecely credible. What on earth would I be doing wandering around with someone 20 years my junior? What would we talk about? What kind of life-project could we possibly have in common?

Now, many years later, I am still in the dark as to what kind of age difference a respectable Thai woman would deem to be acceptable.

I am wondering, what experiences do other TV members have regarding advice given by Thai people on age differences between partners in romance?

OK First i will not answer your question,and then i will ! I am 60 my wife is 32 been with her since she was 24. They only problem is i think somtimes she is to old ! Next if and not very often the age thing comes up with Thai people they think its to greater age difference,but you can only see it in there face not what they say.In Thailand its ok for the majority of Thais (men) to <deleted>> younger women but they should be married to women closer to there own age but Mi bpen ri.

You may think she is too old but I will be wearing a hard hat if I ever walk under the balcony of your condo.

[cdnvic]

There's a lot of personal attacks being made here. If you want to insult each other's wives, please meet up and do it in person. If you choose to do it here, you will be finding yourself in a period of enforced silence. Stick to the topic please.

[Boo]

Irrelevant post regarding women, intended to incite more hateful comments towards women, has been removed.

Learn to keep your own petty, small minded opinions to yourself.

[britmaveric]

Seems young lads on this thread are very jealous!! They find instead of competing with just other younger lads, they have to compete with the whole age spectrum.

[balo]

Age doesnt matter in Thailand. Only money.

[sokal]

Seems young lads on this thread are very jealous!! They find instead of competing with just other younger lads, they have to compete with the whole age spectrum.

Honestly when I am older I don't want a girl way(15+) younger then me. I would think less of a girl that goes out with old men even if the old man was me.

[scottyd]

Honestly when I am older I don't want a girl way(15+) younger then me. I would think less of a girl that goes out with old men even if the old man was me.

I was thinking about the whole age thing, and this is what I was thinking and wanted to say, but I couldn't put it into words.

Well done that man!

I still think if it works for you, then good on you, but me personally, I know i'm a legend, and I will still be a legend when i'm older, but when i'm old, regardless of how much a legend I am, i'm still old and rotting at an increased rate, hardly attractive is it? So if a young girl was wanting to be with me, I would be a little suspicious of her actual intentions.

Luckily I don't have this problem yet, i'm young, sexy, and full of energy, I also don't currently discriminate women of any age. Old or young we can still have fun. Haha, don't hate, appreciate.

[walt]

For a Farang, having a considerable age difference between him, no matter how many years apart, and his Thai spouse is not reviled by Thais and will not be frowned upon.

This is because they view the situation as that the old Farang has money and the apparently sweet innocent younger Thai girl is only trying to improve her life and secure a good future for her and her family. But on the other hand, these couples, the beauty and the beast, so to speak, will never be seen in the light of a normal married couple romantically involved with each other and the relationship could be taken as more of a novelty and a bit of a joke by many.

So what this means is that in most cases the couples form more of a business partnership rather than a romantic loving relationship between a husband and wife. The old git has his regular hot totty which is about the most these girls can offer, if the guy can manage it, and the girl gains financial security and some status within her family and community.

If the old Farang is content with this sort of set up, especially keeping in mind that in the majority of cases there is no guarantee these girls will remain faithful and will probably never have any true respect for the guy, than that’s fine. But if the guy is seeking a more permanent, sincere, caring and loving relationship, than he must be realistic and consider all the facts first.

Khun Sassienie,

Peple here should pay attention to what you wrote since your response is THE ANSWER, and a very practical one as well. In addition, there is an old, and well-known, Thai saying that the OP might want to consider if he is still with us. It goes something like this:

"If you see a snake and a Kack, which should you kill first?"

Answer: The Kack, of course, since you can never trust a Kack while you generally know how the snake will behave - something the original OP probably never thought of, or maybe knew of.

Walt

[rixalex]

They find instead of competing with just other younger lads, they have to compete with the whole age spectrum.

But pretty much the only way a young guy will lose a girl to an old guy is if the old guy has more money.

Give a young girl the choice of two men of equal financial status, one of the same age, the other the age of her father, and which do you think she will choose 9 times out of 10?

Young guys jealous of old guys? What exactly is there to be jealous of?

[way2muchcoffee]

Young guys jealous of old guys? What exactly is there to be jealous of?

Big bank accounts?

[scottyd]

Money can't buy you time. You know when the old guys time runs out, the girl is going back to the young guy with the old guys money.