Jump to content

Question About A Thai Girl I Am "with"


bloodmeal

Recommended Posts

We have been on 4 dates and so on...

but her other thai friends arent allowed to know we're more than just friends?

i dont know why. (btw im not just ugly or anything lol theres more to it)

dont know why at all ...

my experiences seem to differ from other people on here.. she's never mentioned money to me and she usually tries to pay for stuff all the time.

this is the UK im talking about btw. shes just here for a few months.

ideas?

Edited by bloodmeal
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Replies 67
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

There are so many different possible answers ranging from the innocent to the not-at-all innocent ... based on the little you have provided we can only speculate ... for e.g.

- after 4 dates she considers that you ARE still only friends

- she is not sure enough about you yet and/or her feelings about you (or she does know and she's planning a runner in the near future)

- her friends know she has another guy tucked away (in UK or more likely back in Thailand) and she doesn't want them to let anything slip

- she is only around for a short time and doesn't want anything serious to develop

- etc

Until you get real warning signals I would relax and enjoy her company, get to know her (and let her get to know you). Focus on her and not her friends and don't get too serious at this early juncture. Most Thais like to have fun and not think too much. Do otherwise and you may, how shall i say, 'freak her out'

PS. Oh, there is another possibility ... she is really a katoey and is just waiting for the right time to give you the 'heads up' :)

Edited by chiangmaibruce
Link to comment
Share on other sites

We have been on 4 dates and so on...

but her other thai friends arent allowed to know we're more than just friends?

i dont know why. (btw im not just ugly or anything lol theres more to it)

dont know why at all ...

my experiences seem to differ from other people on here.. she's never mentioned money to me and she usually tries to pay for stuff all the time.

this is the UK im talking about btw. shes just here for a few months.

ideas?

Take your pick:

1) You're really ugly and she doesn't want her friends to know that she's got such bad taste.

2) She loves you madly but cultural differences prohibit her from introducing you to her friends.

3) She doesn't make any demands for money so she's in it for the "long game".

4) She's hoping for residency and you might be her meal ticket.

5) She simply doesn't understand and is shy.

6) She already has a husband/boyfriend and can't let the cat out of the bag in respect of her "gik".

Which one do you prefer?

Either way, good luck.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

As already suggested, I'd guess she's got a boyfriend back home. Probably quite happy to enjoy your company but doesn't see it as anything long-term as she'll be going back to Thailand and the boyfriend in a few months. Also afraid that her friends will take a dim view.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Complete guess, but if she's from a decent background she may be all too aware of the unfortunate stereotype Thai girls have overseas, and is therefore worried about projecting it further by "flaunting" the relationship to other people, both friends and strangers.

I wouldn't be concerned about it in all honesty, unless you strongly suspect something else is going on.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My friend was in the same situation.

She had 2 children from a previous relationship with an affluent Thai man. If the new relationship was revealed [to the world] the allowance for her and the children would probably stop.

Never underestimate the importance of financial independence in a Thai woman's thinking when it comes to a relationship. It tends to be very important when threatened.

What is your new friend's source of income and does it match her standard of living?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Dude,

You omitted the most important info.

She's in the UK! On what visa! How did she get in! You have focused on sidetrack issues only. Why is she in the UK? You have omitted so much here.

Bet ya 50 baht she's a young student on a student visa :):D

Link to comment
Share on other sites

We have been on 4 dates and so on...

but her other thai friends arent allowed to know we're more than just friends?

i dont know why. (btw im not just ugly or anything lol theres more to it)

dont know why at all ...

my experiences seem to differ from other people on here.. she's never mentioned money to me and she usually tries to pay for stuff all the time.

this is the UK im talking about btw. shes just here for a few months.

ideas?

Speaking with over 10 years experience with Thai GFs. Just tell her straight you want to go with her alone and no more date with friends and her. If she really like you she will if still wants to have her friends there then I would just move on and find another nice GF. It may be the friends who are there for your money and pushing her to continue like this

talking from over

Link to comment
Share on other sites

This is another thought..and im not for one moment suggesting that this is relevant in your case, BUT, i knew a Thai girl who went abroad to meet a guy so i thought id mention the story...

She met the guy,and kicked it off well initially, but as time passed and the more she got to know more about him (personality traits,habits ect) the more she eventually decided he wasnt for her.She was very to shy to tell him so directly though.

Her majour gripe: he to "stingy"

I better not mention the nationality as these particular guys are very well known for being...well..err.. lets say VERY careful with cash.

Its seems nothing will drive a thai girl away faster than knowing the walking ATM has got a pin number...at least one which she cant be to sure of finding out!

By the way you can speculate many ideas on this but if she doesnt want her friends to know about you then you have to assume that she doesnt consider you to be a long term prospect IMO

Good luck anyway mate..thousands more fish in the sea..they farm em over here and are one of the worlds largest exporters so im told..

ar-hem...fish that is

:)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

(from whats written i take it that) He does see her alone his problem is he wants the world to know theyre loves young dream after 4 full dates.

Maybe the answer is in their somewhere as to why she doesnt want everyone to know!

PS Ive seen a girl very recently about 4 times and havent told anyone maybe me and your Thai bit of skirt can go 50/50 on the counsellor to see what childhood experience has left us so traumatised as to play our cards close to our chest. :)

Edited by sanmiguellight
Link to comment
Share on other sites

We have been on 4 dates and so on...

but her other thai friends arent allowed to know we're more than just friends?

i dont know why. (btw im not just ugly or anything lol theres more to it)

dont know why at all ...

my experiences seem to differ from other people on here.. she's never mentioned money to me and she usually tries to pay for stuff all the time.

this is the UK im talking about btw. shes just here for a few months.

ideas?

my advice would be just roll with it ..

ive dated thai girls in the uk and none of them have given me any problems at all.

there are many many lovely thai girls around and my experience has always been good. not the same as with thai girls in thailand.

it could well just be that friends of hers are more traditional more prudish or maybe they have contact with her family ?

when i first started dating my ex we could never hold hands i had to meet her at the end of the street and couldnt even walk her home. i didnt even kiss her for a month , she was just very very shy and concerned that the details would make it back to her father via her auntie.

my current thai gf is also shy but more open, her friends took a lot of convincing that i was genuine and didnt consider them all easy.

reading advice from some of the guys on here will turn you into a bitter untrusting man or even something of a thai hater ..god knows there lots on here , even if they deny it ..who wants to live like that ??

50 years olds who date 25yr olds really have nothing to offer other than financial security so why are they suprised when they attract gold digger types ?? many men on here have had bad experiences because they date girls who would normally be out of their reach.

its very very insulting to tar all thai girls with the same brush and imply that they are all cheating unfaithful flussies.

im saddened but not suprised that so many men have just assumed that she has a bf back home.

what a sad cynical life so many of you must live.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

We have been on 4 dates and so on...

but her other thai friends arent allowed to know we're more than just friends?

i dont know why. (btw im not just ugly or anything lol theres more to it)

dont know why at all ...

my experiences seem to differ from other people on here.. she's never mentioned money to me and she usually tries to pay for stuff all the time.

this is the UK im talking about btw. shes just here for a few months.

ideas?

my advice would be just roll with it ..

ive dated thai girls in the uk and none of them have given me any problems at all.

there are many many lovely thai girls around and my experience has always been good. not the same as with thai girls in thailand.

it could well just be that friends of hers are more traditional more prudish or maybe they have contact with her family ?

when i first started dating my ex we could never hold hands i had to meet her at the end of the street and couldnt even walk her home. i didnt even kiss her for a month , she was just very very shy and concerned that the details would make it back to her father via her auntie.

my current thai gf is also shy but more open, her friends took a lot of convincing that i was genuine and didnt consider them all easy.

reading advice from some of the guys on here will turn you into a bitter untrusting man or even something of a thai hater ..god knows there lots on here , even if they deny it ..who wants to live like that ??

50 years olds who date 25yr olds really have nothing to offer other than financial security so why are they suprised when they attract gold digger types ?? many men on here have had bad experiences because they date girls who would normally be out of their reach.

its very very insulting to tar all thai girls with the same brush and imply that they are all cheating unfaithful flussies.

im saddened but not suprised that so many men have just assumed that she has a bf back home.

what a sad cynical life so many of you must live.

Hmmm im not some old jerk btw, we are both 22, i would say im the better looking if that doesnt sound too conceited. :)

i know it cant just be shyness though cos she said she'll "tell me what it as long as i dont tell anyone else"

i thought it must be something serious though and she looked worried so i told her it was ok ... only now is my curiosity eating me alive ...

and for the other guy who was thinking i took their friends too, we date alone ofcourse and we do things but when her friends are around its all hidden.

and for the other guy, yea student visa, working over here. going back soon and we're both "ok" with her leaving.

just didn't know why it had to be a secret right now ...

i dont think its a meal ticket for citizenship to be honest, she cant wait to go back ...

i reluctant to think its a guy back home since she did offer to tell me what it was.... and shes joked about that kinda thing before. if she really had one she wouldnt ever give me any such ideas.

my leading theory is the one above that she just doesnt want her family to know that she messed around here.... but theres gotta eb more to it than that since she offered to "tell me" ...

Edited by bloodmeal
Link to comment
Share on other sites

We have been on 4 dates and so on...

but her other thai friends arent allowed to know we're more than just friends?

i dont know why. (btw im not just ugly or anything lol theres more to it)

dont know why at all ...

my experiences seem to differ from other people on here.. she's never mentioned money to me and she usually tries to pay for stuff all the time.

this is the UK im talking about btw. shes just here for a few months.

ideas?

my advice would be just roll with it ..

ive dated thai girls in the uk and none of them have given me any problems at all.

there are many many lovely thai girls around and my experience has always been good. not the same as with thai girls in thailand.

it could well just be that friends of hers are more traditional more prudish or maybe they have contact with her family ?

when i first started dating my ex we could never hold hands i had to meet her at the end of the street and couldnt even walk her home. i didnt even kiss her for a month , she was just very very shy and concerned that the details would make it back to her father via her auntie.

my current thai gf is also shy but more open, her friends took a lot of convincing that i was genuine and didnt consider them all easy.

reading advice from some of the guys on here will turn you into a bitter untrusting man or even something of a thai hater ..god knows there lots on here , even if they deny it ..who wants to live like that ??

50 years olds who date 25yr olds really have nothing to offer other than financial security so why are they suprised when they attract gold digger types ?? many men on here have had bad experiences because they date girls who would normally be out of their reach.

its very very insulting to tar all thai girls with the same brush and imply that they are all cheating unfaithful flussies.

im saddened but not suprised that so many men have just assumed that she has a bf back home.

what a sad cynical life so many of you must live.

Hmmm im not some old jerk btw, we are both 22, i would say im the better looking if that doesnt sound too conceited. :)

i know it cant just be shyness though cos she said she'll "tell me what it as long as i dont tell anyone else"

i thought it must be something serious though and she looked worried so i told her it was ok ... only now is my curiosity eating me alive ...

and for the other guy who was thinking i took their friends too, we date alone ofcourse and we do things but when her friends are around its all hidden.

and for the other guy, yea student visa, working over here. going back soon and we're both "ok" with her leaving.

just didn't know why it had to be a secret right now ...

i dont think its a meal ticket for citizenship to be honest, she cant wait to go back ...

i reluctant to think its a guy back home since she did offer to tell me what it was.... and shes joked about that kinda thing before. if she really had one she wouldnt ever give me any such ideas.

my leading theory is the one above that she just doesnt want her family to know that she messed around here.... but theres gotta eb more to it than that since she offered to "tell me" ...

hi ..i wasnt suggesting you were an old fella ...why didnt you ask her when she said she'd tell you ? id love to know whats going on too!!

im going with the shyness about making the realtionship public/family knowlege simply because good girls should be modest ..she can do what she likes as long as know one knows right ?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

We have been on 4 dates and so on...

but her other thai friends arent allowed to know we're more than just friends?

i dont know why. (btw im not just ugly or anything lol theres more to it)

dont know why at all ...

my experiences seem to differ from other people on here.. she's never mentioned money to me and she usually tries to pay for stuff all the time.

this is the UK im talking about btw. shes just here for a few months.

ideas?

my advice would be just roll with it ..

ive dated thai girls in the uk and none of them have given me any problems at all.

there are many many lovely thai girls around and my experience has always been good. not the same as with thai girls in thailand.

it could well just be that friends of hers are more traditional more prudish or maybe they have contact with her family ?

when i first started dating my ex we could never hold hands i had to meet her at the end of the street and couldnt even walk her home. i didnt even kiss her for a month , she was just very very shy and concerned that the details would make it back to her father via her auntie.

my current thai gf is also shy but more open, her friends took a lot of convincing that i was genuine and didnt consider them all easy.

reading advice from some of the guys on here will turn you into a bitter untrusting man or even something of a thai hater ..god knows there lots on here , even if they deny it ..who wants to live like that ??

50 years olds who date 25yr olds really have nothing to offer other than financial security so why are they suprised when they attract gold digger types ?? many men on here have had bad experiences because they date girls who would normally be out of their reach.

its very very insulting to tar all thai girls with the same brush and imply that they are all cheating unfaithful flussies.

im saddened but not suprised that so many men have just assumed that she has a bf back home.

what a sad cynical life so many of you must live.

Hmmm im not some old jerk btw, we are both 22, i would say im the better looking if that doesnt sound too conceited. :)

i know it cant just be shyness though cos she said she'll "tell me what it as long as i dont tell anyone else"

i thought it must be something serious though and she looked worried so i told her it was ok ... only now is my curiosity eating me alive ...

and for the other guy who was thinking i took their friends too, we date alone ofcourse and we do things but when her friends are around its all hidden.

and for the other guy, yea student visa, working over here. going back soon and we're both "ok" with her leaving.

just didn't know why it had to be a secret right now ...

i dont think its a meal ticket for citizenship to be honest, she cant wait to go back ...

i reluctant to think its a guy back home since she did offer to tell me what it was.... and shes joked about that kinda thing before. if she really had one she wouldnt ever give me any such ideas.

my leading theory is the one above that she just doesnt want her family to know that she messed around here.... but theres gotta eb more to it than that since she offered to "tell me" ...

22 years old...she probably thinks you are too young...the fact you are after advice here confirms it for me...ask her politely and see what the girl has to say...as for you being the prettiest....buy another mirror and stay home mate as i do not care how ugly she is ,,girls are better to look at..

Link to comment
Share on other sites

We have been on 4 dates and so on...

but her other thai friends arent allowed to know we're more than just friends?

i dont know why. (btw im not just ugly or anything lol theres more to it)

dont know why at all ...

my experiences seem to differ from other people on here.. she's never mentioned money to me and she usually tries to pay for stuff all the time.

this is the UK im talking about btw. shes just here for a few months.

ideas?

my advice would be just roll with it ..

ive dated thai girls in the uk and none of them have given me any problems at all.

there are many many lovely thai girls around and my experience has always been good. not the same as with thai girls in thailand.

it could well just be that friends of hers are more traditional more prudish or maybe they have contact with her family ?

when i first started dating my ex we could never hold hands i had to meet her at the end of the street and couldnt even walk her home. i didnt even kiss her for a month , she was just very very shy and concerned that the details would make it back to her father via her auntie.

my current thai gf is also shy but more open, her friends took a lot of convincing that i was genuine and didnt consider them all easy.

reading advice from some of the guys on here will turn you into a bitter untrusting man or even something of a thai hater ..god knows there lots on here , even if they deny it ..who wants to live like that ??

50 years olds who date 25yr olds really have nothing to offer other than financial security so why are they suprised when they attract gold digger types ?? many men on here have had bad experiences because they date girls who would normally be out of their reach.

its very very insulting to tar all thai girls with the same brush and imply that they are all cheating unfaithful flussies.

im saddened but not suprised that so many men have just assumed that she has a bf back home.

what a sad cynical life so many of you must live.

Hmmm im not some old jerk btw, we are both 22, i would say im the better looking if that doesnt sound too conceited. :)

i know it cant just be shyness though cos she said she'll "tell me what it as long as i dont tell anyone else"

i thought it must be something serious though and she looked worried so i told her it was ok ... only now is my curiosity eating me alive ...

and for the other guy who was thinking i took their friends too, we date alone ofcourse and we do things but when her friends are around its all hidden.

and for the other guy, yea student visa, working over here. going back soon and we're both "ok" with her leaving.

just didn't know why it had to be a secret right now ...

i dont think its a meal ticket for citizenship to be honest, she cant wait to go back ...

i reluctant to think its a guy back home since she did offer to tell me what it was.... and shes joked about that kinda thing before. if she really had one she wouldnt ever give me any such ideas.

my leading theory is the one above that she just doesnt want her family to know that she messed around here.... but theres gotta eb more to it than that since she offered to "tell me" ...

22 years old...she probably thinks you are too young...the fact you are after advice here confirms it for me...ask her politely and see what the girl has to say...as for you being the prettiest....buy another mirror and stay home mate as i do not care how ugly she is ,,girls are better to look at..

ur saying that cos ur a guy ...

im just saying i feel i am the better looking one .. ppl flip out if someone on here isnt a fugly jerk looking to buy a chick?

and we've spent alot of time together besides dates i know i am more importaint to her than you seem to think. i think maybe my experiences with girls are too different for advice here ..

Link to comment
Share on other sites

..but her other thai friends arent allowed to know we're more than just friends?

i dont know why. (btw im not just ugly or anything lol theres more to it)

dont know why at all ...

my experiences seem to differ from other people on here.. she's never mentioned money to me and she usually tries to pay for stuff all the time.

this is the UK im talking about btw. shes just here for a few months.

ideas?

Suggest that you should not, in front of Her friends, act in any other way, than "just friends". Should she state that you were in a relationship to them, and you were to prove unreliable, the "loss of face" would be unbearable to her. Perhaps she considers the two month visit here makes a serious relationship unrealistic.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Seriously, you should go search teen relationship advice websites for this kind of question. Because that's when most people first encounter things like this. There's no Thai cultural thing going on here. 4 dates means nothing. Most people don't date just 4 times and then tell all their friends they're together. They wait until it's clearer.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Suggest that you should not, in front of Her friends, act in any other way, than "just friends". Should she state that you were in a relationship to them, and you were to prove unreliable, the "loss of face" would be unbearable to her. Perhaps she considers the two month visit here makes a serious relationship unrealistic.

seems like the most logical answer, thanks for your help, ill post here just for conclusion when i know the right thing :)

as for people saying that girls dont tell any1 about you after 4 dates, maybe ive just been dating weird girls?

usually after the first one all her friends know about it and so on.. and usually alot of enthusiasm from her in telling people.

not a teen thing to that guy either ive dated females in their 30s

im just not used to this kind of ... not telling people, and she did mention it was a "thai thing" before.

Edited by bloodmeal
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Suggest that you should not, in front of Her friends, act in any other way, than "just friends". Should she state that you were in a relationship to them, and you were to prove unreliable, the "loss of face" would be unbearable to her. Perhaps she considers the two month visit here makes a serious relationship unrealistic.

seems like the most logical answer, thanks for your help, ill post here just for conclusion when i know the right thing :)

as for people saying that girls dont tell any1 about you after 4 dates, maybe ive just been dating weird girls?

usually after the first one all her friends know about it and so on.. and usually alot of enthusiasm from her in telling people.

not a teen thing to that guy either ive dated females in their 30s

im just not used to this kind of ... not telling people, and she did mention it was a "thai thing" before.

Mate,

Maybe when you are 15/16 1-4 date's makes you "official", but c'mon - your a adult. 4 Dates is barley enough to say your seeing each other.

Im 22 aswell, and it would take alot more then 4 for me to care.

Enjoy it, and dont stress eh?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

As before, I think it's just that she's away from home for a relatively short time, happy to have a relationship, but doesn't see it as long-term. Saying I think she's got a boyfriend back home is not judging her in any way - just at that age it would be a bit strange if she didn't. And Thai kids are no different from anywhere else, when abroad and away from home they're very happy to make the most of it.

Even if she has a boyfriend back home, it doesn't mean you're not in with a long-term chance if that's what you both want. A lot of our students do work and travel in the summer. Some of them have summer romances and come back to the boyfriend here, some try and keep things going but it gradually falls away, and one or two end up with something long-term.

The 'Thai thing' is probably, as others have suggested, that she doesn't want word getting back home. Respect that, see where the relationship goes, and have fun.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sounds like a typical, conservative Thai girl to me. Find other ways to satisfy your ego if her not mentioning the relationship to other people bothers you; you'll both appreciate it in the long run (whether it works out or not).

Others on here may disagree, but I read the fact she doesn't want to share this with everybody as a reassuring indication of a good background. (Very similar to the now Mrs Insight :) )

(p.s. I was 24 when I first started dating Mrs Insight, and it wasn't that many years ago.)

Edited by Insight
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sorry, but what is the problem here ?

Surely, HER relationship with HER friends is HER business. Why is it such an issue for you ?

And why is your relationship with this girl any of her friend's business ?

Instead of focussing on your girlfriend's perceived problem, you would be better off thinking about your own reaction.

For example;

Do you have control or domination issues ?

Why are your ''good looks'' so important to you ?

Are you the type of person who sows the seeds of destruction into the relationship at an early stage ?

Only you can answer these questions.

These comments are offered with the best of intentions. Please do not take them as criticisms.

I wish you all the best, and hope everything works out well.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thai girls lose face with their mates when a relationship fails, even if it wasnt her fault, all her friends will have the thought in their mind that she wasnt good enough for you. The "risk" for her is not like it is for you with your mates. Plus her friends might know her family, and her family will give her hel_l if they think she got into a relationship with a foreigner and then it failed after a short time. So, to announce to her "network" that you are an item, she needs to be sure.

The above assuming she is a decent gal.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.








×
×
  • Create New...