losworld Posted August 21, 2009 Share Posted August 21, 2009 Maybe she is a lesbian and is using you to reinforce this? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PoorSucker Posted August 21, 2009 Share Posted August 21, 2009 If she comes from a influential and rich family you should also be the same. So unless you have some millions in the bank, you are an embarrassment Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hookemlaw Posted August 21, 2009 Share Posted August 21, 2009 Seriously, you should go search teen relationship advice websites for this kind of question. Because that's when most people first encounter things like this. There's no Thai cultural thing going on here. 4 dates means nothing. Most people don't date just 4 times and then tell all their friends they're together. They wait until it's clearer. Best answer by far. I read the OP and thought "What in the world does this have to do with her being Thai?!?!" I'm almost certain that there's more "young" and possibly "insecure" going on with you than "Thai" going on with her here. I made the mistake of worrying about relationship status more times than I should have. If you're serious about not being worried about it, then don't let your curiosity make you harbor on it. Because if you spend as much time thinking about it as you must have to make this post and replies then you either are worried or you will be worried soon enough. And that's not attractive to girls of any culture that I know of. I've only dated Vietnamese/Mexican/American girls, but I highly doubt Thai girls find it attractive either. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bloodmeal Posted August 21, 2009 Author Share Posted August 21, 2009 If she comes from a influential and rich family you should also be the same.So unless you have some millions in the bank, you are an embarrassment Finally ! i think thats what it is ! :S ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thesunset75 Posted August 21, 2009 Share Posted August 21, 2009 If she comes from a influential and rich family you should also be the same.So unless you have some millions in the bank, you are an embarrassment Finally ! i think thats what it is ! :S ! Oh dear, im here not far from UK so A bit too old for you but..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JetsetBkk Posted August 21, 2009 Share Posted August 21, 2009 Christ only been 4dates or so. I dare say you are yet to be important enough tell her mates or family. Nothing more. Well some would have bought her a house by now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrHammer Posted August 21, 2009 Share Posted August 21, 2009 Thais use the word 'friend' liberally and ambigously. If you've ever gone to a Thai school you must have heard them refer to EVERY classmate as their 'friend'. Or their fuc_kbuddies, again 'friends'. Why do you think Thai girls always become interested when you say you're meeting a 'friend'? I think Thais just like to lay low with this stuff until it's kinda official, because being a couple means making it public to the 'group' and social circle which is much more important to Thais than westerners and then it becomes a semi serious thing. It's the face thing again as someone mentioned. You've only 'dated' whatever that means 4 times, hardly serious stuff. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrHammer Posted August 21, 2009 Share Posted August 21, 2009 Btw, imo opinion there's only two relationship statuses, married or not-married, anything else is up for discussion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottyd Posted August 21, 2009 Share Posted August 21, 2009 I don't understand MrHammer, so what you are saying is, if you're not married, anything goes? You can sleep around, dog whoever you want even if you are in the early stages of a relationship with someone? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrHammer Posted August 21, 2009 Share Posted August 21, 2009 I don't understand MrHammer, so what you are saying is, if you're not married, anything goes? You can sleep around, dog whoever you want even if you are in the early stages of a relationship with someone? As long as you're not lying about it why not? Obviously if you're in a relationship with someone you love, there would be no reason to do so and you wouldn't want to anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chalongchopper Posted August 29, 2009 Share Posted August 29, 2009 Maybe, just maybe she thinks you are a complete wally and doesn't know how to tell you straight......????? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lopburi99 Posted August 29, 2009 Share Posted August 29, 2009 (edited) Oh to be 22 again. Would I ever do things differently! Edited August 29, 2009 by Lopburi99 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TopDogger Posted August 29, 2009 Share Posted August 29, 2009 Thai girls lose face with their mates when a relationship fails, even if it wasnt her fault, all her friends will have the thought in their mind that she wasnt good enough for you. The "risk" for her is not like it is for you with your mates. Plus her friends might know her family, and her family will give her hel_l if they think she got into a relationship with a foreigner and then it failed after a short time. So, to announce to her "network" that you are an item, she needs to be sure. The above assuming she is a decent gal. Took the words out of my mouth.. Maybe she has a BF back in Thailand, but more likely as Will says its a classic case of <deleted> (First Farang Syndrome). I remember one time before nailing a Thai bird I had to tell her about 200 times that I wouldn't tell a friend of mine, who was friends with one of her friends if we were to get it on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mooncake Posted August 29, 2009 Share Posted August 29, 2009 U seem ….too clingy and desperate, …only after 4 outings, for crying out loud….MAJOR TURN-OFF Chill out dude,.. U can’t force the feeling on someone. Such a juvenile thread, for a grown man Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DLock Posted August 29, 2009 Share Posted August 29, 2009 As soon as a similar thread is closed, another one pops up. What is it with the young players of today? They are all so pathetic. Guys, harden the @#$% up. Learn the culture, read Stickman from end to end or go home...you are embarrassing yourselves. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TopDogger Posted August 29, 2009 Share Posted August 29, 2009 As soon as a similar thread is closed, another one pops up.What is it with the young players of today? They are all so pathetic. Guys, harden the @#$% up. Learn the culture, read Stickman from end to end or go home...you are embarrassing yourselves. The OP is in the UK and has no plan's on coming to Thailand, reading Stickman from end to end would be a lot of work for one chick who is going back home soon... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
philo Posted August 29, 2009 Share Posted August 29, 2009 As soon as a similar thread is closed, another one pops up.What is it with the young players of today? They are all so pathetic. Guys, harden the @#$% up. Learn the culture, read Stickman from end to end or go home...you are embarrassing yourselves. The OP is in the UK and has no plan's on coming to Thailand, reading Stickman from end to end would be a lot of work for one chick who is going back home soon... Alas - I think doing his homework is far to late. He is hooked ... May he not suffer too much. Please read this heart breaking thread. I have to find a napkin - I am starting to cry ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TopDogger Posted August 29, 2009 Share Posted August 29, 2009 As soon as a similar thread is closed, another one pops up.What is it with the young players of today? They are all so pathetic. Guys, harden the @#$% up. Learn the culture, read Stickman from end to end or go home...you are embarrassing yourselves. The OP is in the UK and has no plan's on coming to Thailand, reading Stickman from end to end would be a lot of work for one chick who is going back home soon... Alas - I think doing his homework is far to late. He is hooked ... May he not suffer too much. Please read this heart breaking thread. I have to find a napkin - I am starting to cry ... hahah.. Another one bites the dust! Ok, DLock I take that back Whatever happened to "treat em mean, keep em keen"? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DLock Posted August 29, 2009 Share Posted August 29, 2009 (edited) As soon as a similar thread is closed, another one pops up.What is it with the young players of today? They are all so pathetic. Guys, harden the @#$% up. Learn the culture, read Stickman from end to end or go home...you are embarrassing yourselves. The OP is in the UK and has no plan's on coming to Thailand, reading Stickman from end to end would be a lot of work for one chick who is going back home soon... Alas - I think doing his homework is far to late. He is hooked ... May he not suffer too much. Please read this heart breaking thread. I have to find a napkin - I am starting to cry ... hahah.. Another one bites the dust! Ok, DLock I take that back Whatever happened to "treat em mean, keep em keen"? Must admit I missed the part where he said he was in the UK...I scan these threads quickly just to see where it goes... ...I guess I was just missing Tommy and his impending marriage thread and looking for a replacement to fill the void in my life. Edited August 29, 2009 by DLock Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrew Hicks Posted August 29, 2009 Share Posted August 29, 2009 Sounds like a typical, conservative Thai girl to me. Find other ways to satisfy your ego if her not mentioning the relationship to other people bothers you; you'll both appreciate it in the long run (whether it works out or not).Others on here may disagree, but I read the fact she doesn't want to share this with everybody as a reassuring indication of a good background. (Very similar to the now Mrs Insight ) (p.s. I was 24 when I first started dating Mrs Insight, and it wasn't that many years ago.) It's quite right for her not to tell her family, just as maybe you shouldn't be bothering Thaivisa with it! Why do we all reply? Andrew Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
harleyclarkey Posted August 29, 2009 Share Posted August 29, 2009 (edited) We have been on 4 dates and so on...but her other thai friends arent allowed to know we're more than just friends? i dont know why. (btw im not just ugly or anything lol theres more to it) dont know why at all ... my experiences seem to differ from other people on here.. she's never mentioned money to me and she usually tries to pay for stuff all the time. this is the UK im talking about btw. shes just here for a few months. ideas? Go with the flow BM! Enjoy while you can.....seems you have your eyes open, otherwise you wouldn't be here asking questions. Good for you. Ask for nothing and give nothing....then see what happens. My experience? The clever ones appear to be frugal...at first. "No honey....buy the cheaper one!" It can and does so often change for the worse. Kinda lull you into a false state of security. Word of advice......don't forget to wear the DOUBLE GLAZING!!! I know of many a little tadpole that escaped the net and made a little baby. Edited August 29, 2009 by harleyclarkey Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
walterego Posted August 30, 2009 Share Posted August 30, 2009 (edited) FACE, first 4 dates is sweet F A anyway and nobody is an item after 4 dates. Are you planning on marrying her? Does she know your intetions? She doesnt want to lose face. IF you dump her tommorow how will she look? if daddy and mummy have her planned to one of the friends friend brother how will it look when she goes back home and the groom to be finds she has been holding hands with a Forigners over seas like a common So=penny All of what you say sugests to me that she is a good thai girl who has been brought up well. They (hi so or upper middle class Thais) rarely even hold their husbands hands in public. Why would she want to show you any visible affection. From what i can see from your description the status of yoru relationship has not been clearly established yet. so she wont let her friends know until she decides if she wants you or u want her etc and your intention like is their any future in this relationship. You are 22 she is 22. in the UK 22 year olds are rarely married. A 22 year old Thai girl is usually popping out a baby. She says dont tell my friends... but believe me THEY KNOW ALREADY! you just cant say it. What happens in teh UK stays in the UK she doesnt want this story going home with her. If nobody says it or displays it openly then it never happened in teh Thai mind and nobody can shame her (or she wont feel shame) on her return. Why is she in the UK? either she is a well to do nicely brought up Thai girl wholesome and possibly a virgin (till you met her anyway). If her parents did not pay her tuition or she is not on a scholarship then she is without doubt doing something for someone bavk in thailand to get the funding. When she marys a Thai she will likely have to lie and claim to be a virgin if she wants to maintain wife place #1 and be respected by her spouse. If she talks about you back home (in a positive way.. perhaps to her parents) then she will need a provable story that she was Chaperoned by her friends at ALL times thus ensuring that all important heimen aint getting busted. She is only going to make a public announcement if the relationship can be shown to have some permanence. What in her eyes are teh chances of you dumping everything and going to live in Thailand right now? (i am guessing none yes?) with that in mind a relationship with you will have to be maintained over great distance through email, phone calls the occasional flight abroad. Until she knows your in for the long haul why on earth would she want to tell anyone? She sounds like a nice girl, just go with the flow and do what she asks of you. If that is to much to handle for you then dump her. I dont know why though I have a feeling she is a good catch. (ok personel lesson#1 today i have learnt that posting without sleeping in the last 30 hours leads to incoherrent dribble.. my appologies.) Good luck! Edited August 30, 2009 by walterego Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Insight Posted August 30, 2009 Share Posted August 30, 2009 Sounds like a typical, conservative Thai girl to me. Find other ways to satisfy your ego if her not mentioning the relationship to other people bothers you; you'll both appreciate it in the long run (whether it works out or not).Others on here may disagree, but I read the fact she doesn't want to share this with everybody as a reassuring indication of a good background. (Very similar to the now Mrs Insight ) (p.s. I was 24 when I first started dating Mrs Insight, and it wasn't that many years ago.) It's quite right for her not to tell her family, just as maybe you shouldn't be bothering Thaivisa with it! Why do we all reply? Andrew I'll assume you quoted the wrong person in your response there? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
voracious Posted August 30, 2009 Share Posted August 30, 2009 Go with the flow. Don't overthink the situation. But keep your eyes and ears open in case you get any red flags. It may very well be that you've met a "good girl" who comes from a family of means. Not every family wants their daughter to hook up with a white guy, particularly if they are a family who has some wealth. In fact some will lean on her heavily to marry a nice Thai guy of equal social and economic stature (or higher). That's VERY asian. My sister in law insisted her boyfriend wasn't serious until they announced their marriage. Keeps the pressure and scrutiny down. No big deal. So she may not be anxious for it to become a big deal in HER family until it's well past serious. A month or two of dating isn't quite there yet. The fact that she insists on paying for things herself may well be an indication that she's a pretty decent girl and is in fact indicating that she's not into you for your money at all. That she isn't throwing herself at you and locking you in by announcing to the world you're together is also a good sign. As said in many ways in this thread, just roll with it. Concentrate on getting to know her and developing a relationship. See if you are really meant for each other. Don't worry about titles and let her have her way with appearances and face or whatever other issues are going on for the moment. Best wishes. Maybe you've found 'the one'. Only time will tell. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr_Pat_Pong Posted August 30, 2009 Share Posted August 30, 2009 I'd been hoping to hear the real reasons from the OP by now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mooncake Posted August 30, 2009 Share Posted August 30, 2009 I'd been hoping to hear the real reasons from the OP by now. Probably busy writting a love letter still Check out ...his eyes-watering piece....in the language section,...........would put mr. shake-sa-pear works to shame Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marsteele Posted August 30, 2009 Share Posted August 30, 2009 (edited) We have been on 4 dates and so on...but her other thai friends arent allowed to know we're more than just friends? i dont know why. (btw im not just ugly or anything lol theres more to it) dont know why at all ... my experiences seem to differ from other people on here.. she's never mentioned money to me and she usually tries to pay for stuff all the time. this is the UK im talking about btw. shes just here for a few months. ideas? Take your pick: 1) You're really ugly and she doesn't want her friends to know that she's got such bad taste. 2) She loves you madly but cultural differences prohibit her from introducing you to her friends. 3) She doesn't make any demands for money so she's in it for the "long game". 4) She's hoping for residency and you might be her meal ticket. 5) She simply doesn't understand and is shy. 6) She already has a husband/boyfriend and can't let the cat out of the bag in respect of her "gik". Which one do you prefer? Either way, good luck. I would lean towards Number 6. She would not be the 1st or last Thai girl to have a few farang men around the globe supporting her. With every guy thinking that they are the only one. What is the age gap between the 2 of you (20+ years) or the same age group. Edited August 30, 2009 by marsteele Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hhgz Posted August 30, 2009 Share Posted August 30, 2009 "We have been on 4 dates and so on...but her other thai friends arent allowed to know we're more than just friends?" I've read how insecure women like to rush relationships, and now this. Let's see, after 4 dates you shouldn't be picking the pattern of your tableware just yet. You still are only friends, despite what you think. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TopDogger Posted August 30, 2009 Share Posted August 30, 2009 We have been on 4 dates and so on...but her other thai friends arent allowed to know we're more than just friends? i dont know why. (btw im not just ugly or anything lol theres more to it) dont know why at all ... my experiences seem to differ from other people on here.. she's never mentioned money to me and she usually tries to pay for stuff all the time. this is the UK im talking about btw. shes just here for a few months. ideas? Take your pick: 1) You're really ugly and she doesn't want her friends to know that she's got such bad taste. 2) She loves you madly but cultural differences prohibit her from introducing you to her friends. 3) She doesn't make any demands for money so she's in it for the "long game". 4) She's hoping for residency and you might be her meal ticket. 5) She simply doesn't understand and is shy. 6) She already has a husband/boyfriend and can't let the cat out of the bag in respect of her "gik". Which one do you prefer? Either way, good luck. I would lean towards Number 6. She would not be the 1st or last Thai girl to have a few farang men around the globe supporting her. With every guy thinking that they are the only one. What is the age gap between the 2 of you (20+ years) or the same age group. I don't think he said she was a whore that he met in a bar? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geekfreaklover Posted August 30, 2009 Share Posted August 30, 2009 I think the op is coming on too strong. There is nothing less atractive than desperation. No one wants some needy sick puppy dog sniffing around and biting at their ankles. It's cute at first, but it soon becomes a drag. Ignore her for a while. No flowers. No love letters. No phone calls. See what happens. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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