Child Support - Monthly Lump Sum Or Paying Expences

[philo]

I have two children. I expect some day soon - I will leave my wife - or she will leave me.

I have read the many threads on child support - going from B5000 to B20000 a month.

The problem is that my wife is unable to budget money, so the money will be gone in a week. She even uses the childrens savings as if it were her own pocket money (sic).

I think she will need monthly:

5-8000 for a serviced room close to school/nursery.

1000 or more for laundry.

5000 for the two childrens preschool/nursery.

800 for pampers.

1500 for clothes, shoes etc.

5000 for food and tuk-tuk.

5000 for doctors visits and vaccines (do you know that an IPD shot is almost 5000 Baht, Hep A arund 1700 Baht in a private hospital).

3000 pocket money.

(And I also pay the BUPA health insurance - 30+k a year for her and the kids., i.e)

3000 for HI

This adds to about 30k a month. And of course I have forgotten something (like new uniforms for school, toys, KFShit, going to the market, diesel money for her father when she visits her parents ... ad infinitum).

What would you do? Just give her 20-30k, or insist on paying only (reasonble) bills after receipt/explanation.

Edited August 22, 2009 by philo

[Mario2008]

You seem to have trouble for soem time now. The best option is always to look if you can mend it with your wife, through councelling.

As to your question what is reasonable, that also depends on how much you earn and how much your wife is able to earn. The children are always the responsibility of both and both should contribute to that to their abbility.

If you are afraid she will just spend it all in 1 week, you might want to pay for certain bills yourself, like for the appartment and school and for other things give her a weekly allowence.

[philo]

Thanks, Mario

But my question is not what is a reasonable amount. And it is IMO not relevant what I can afford.

There is a tradeoff between how much of my money the childrens mother throw in the toilet today and how much I put in overseas saving accounts that the children can access when they are 18 y.o.

The big question here is should I 'nanny' my wife by payingfor/buying neccesities myself in order to be sure that the money is spent in the interest of the children, or should I just give her the money and risk it being spent on lottery temple 'tambon'?

PS. My wife is lazy: Income 0 Baht. But she has a rubber plantation (guess who paid?) that will begin to give money in one or two years time.

[Mario2008]

You already seem to have made up your mind that she can't be trusted with the money and will just spend it all in 1 week.

As said, you can pay some of the bills yourself and for other things, like food and clothing, give her a weekly allowence. If all goes well, you can always give her more responsibility and a two week allowence and see how that goes.

[Boo]

I would arrange to pay all the bills relating to the kids & rent etc yourself then leave things like food, clothes, shopping, nappies etc to her & provide her with a budget, paid weekly, adjusted accordingly.

Anything fixed, like school fees, medical expenses set up separate account to keep the money available in there & control it yourself. I personally wouldn't risk my kids being left hungry or without education cause one parent was bad with money.

This way, if she does find herself broke by mid week it wont be too expensive for your to make sure the kids have enough food until the your wife gets her next alimony & child support payment. Hope things work out ok which ever way it goes.

[philo]

Thanks Boo.

This is what I will try to do. But it is not easy to arrange if I am not physically present in the town where they live. But I am working on it.

BTW - she left in anger for the 3rd or 4th time this morning. But she will be back as soon as she has a problem that has to be solved in a rational way.

The farang kwai is useful when 'choey-choey' does't work ...

The fixed costs are the most important things to secure, occational expenditures and emergiencies (real ones) can be arranged by a telephone call and an ATM-transfer.