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Familiar Songs

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It was fun being a baby boomer...till now.

Some of the artists of the '60s are revising their hits with new lyrics to accommodate aging baby boomers.

They include:

1. Herman's Hermits -Mrs. Brown, You've Got a Lovely Walker

2. The Bee Gees -How Can You Mend a Broken Hip

3. Bobby Darin -Splish, Splash, I Was Havin' a Flash

4. Ringo Starr -I Get By With a Little Help from Depends

5. Roberta Flack -The First Time Ever I Forgot Your Face

6. Johnny Nash -I Can't See Clearly Now

7. Paul Simon -Fifty Ways to Lose Your Liver

8. Commodores -Once, Twice, Three Times to the Bathroom

9. Marvin Gaye -I Heard it Through the Grape Nuts

10. Procol Harem -A Whiter Shade of Hair

11. Leo Sayer -You Make Me Feel Like Napping

12. The Temptations -Papa's Got a Kidney Stone

13. Abba -Denture Queen

14. Tony Orlando -Knock 3 Times on the Ceiling if you Hear Me Fall

15. Helen Reddy -I am Woman, Hear me Snore

16. Willie Nelson -On the Throne Again

17. Leslie Gore -It's My Procedure and I'll Cry if I Want To

Taoism: shit happens

Buddhism: if shit happens, it isn't really shit

Islam: if shit happens, it is the will of Allah

Catholicism: if shit happens, you deserve it

Judaism: why does this shit always happen to us?

Atheism: I don't believe this shit

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