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Posted
This guy abandons his children and fails to live up to his responsibilities. He takes off to a foreign country fathers even more children, and after (how many?) years just pops into the Embassy and says, "I'd like another passport please." What a loser! He didn't think he would get caught?! Now he wants to continue being a fugitive on the run here? And you want to know if we can help?

This loser is taking the advice of another loser who let his passport expire here while skirting around the law now for three years. That guy has had no proper visas (obviously) and he's eventually going to be deported at his own expense.

These guys are idiots.

"This post has been edited by EffectiveAnger: Yesterday, 2009-09-05 02:30:00"

Keep on editing, maybe you will learn not to judge others. Constuctive comments perhaps??

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Posted
Not if he had a Thai passport.

They should just go one step further and put him on a plane.

:)

Sorry but I gotta say this. The thing that ultimately really upsets me is people who father (or mother) kids and then don't support, love, and nurture them

This sort of irresponsibility gets me really hot and angry.

Some pople never grow up, and they go through life leaving a trail of destruction behind them.

If I had my way this character would be compulsarily working three jobs or whatever to at least ensure the kids in both countries have a roof and food and education.

As I wrote before, for the two main things in life you don't need to be qualified, making babies and voting (red shirts hahaha). But Scorecard who are you to judge, do you know the circumstances or are you merely guessing? By the way may he who is without sins cast the first stone.

When it comes to child support... I threw my stone. If he owes child support; he needs to pay it. The kids deserve to be provided for...

Posted (edited)
who are you to judge, do you know the circumstances or are you merely guessing? By the way may he who is without sins cast the first stone.

I got no problems with sinners mate. How about, "He who has not abandond his kids cast the first stone?"

Edited by troy
Posted
Not if he had a Thai passport.

They should just go one step further and put him on a plane.

:)

Sorry but I gotta say this. The thing that ultimately really upsets me is people who father (or mother) kids and then don't support, love, and nurture them

This sort of irresponsibility gets me really hot and angry.

Some pople never grow up, and they go through life leaving a trail of destruction behind them.

If I had my way this character would be compulsarily working three jobs or whatever to at least ensure the kids in both countries have a roof and food and education.

Yes I agree this guy should do the right thing by supporting his kid/s NOT running away from responsibilities.I hope the US embassy will report him to the police and immigration and he will be deported back to the US to face up-to his responsibilities period.

You can see things differently as well. With support comes rights, mayby this family is better off without him near? My best friend (in the last century:)) married my wife, it took me 3 years to realise he was the best friend I ever had......

Posted
Lot of people seem to have jumped on this guys back without full facts.

Let's face it US divorce system is often highly biased to women. Who's to say that he didn't lose his home, and virtually all he had to his wife and kids when she divorced him even though divorce was not what he wanted? He may have wanted custody of the kids and not got it. Wife could be living with another man now, deliberately not marrying so he still has to pay maintenance. Meanwhile he quits his job and moves to Thailand with a broken heart, missing his kids. Then he remarries, having only enough money to support his new family (including possibly kids here), so he stops maintenance. Anyone like to climb off there high horse or should I say donkey under that scenario? :)

Wow, finally a member with a sense of reality, thanks WS. To all you other vinagre p*ssers, get a life and stop judging before you know the fact, actually stop judging altogether and be a sample human....

Posted (edited)
Yes you evil evil man how can you do such a thing? You worked 7 days a week to do the best for your family, you sacrificed your social life and lost contact with many many friends due to being a devoted father and husband. You never drank, smoked or asked for anything for yourself, as long as the family had whatever they needed you was happy.

Then one day you returned home from work and your wife and kid(s) had gone to live with another man who she had fallen in love with, she said she had fallen out of love with you and needed to "find herself" She made it difficult to get reasonable access to see the kids, she took you to court and you lost practically everything.

The wife and kid(s) now live another big house with the new man in her life, he has a good job, they have plenty of cash, the kids will NOT go without other then a once a fortnight Saturday afternoon single dad with the kids at Mc Donalds trying desperately to smile and look like you can cope with the trauma of being left with nothing other then having your guts ripped out and stamped on and kicked down the street.

The new man drives past with YOUR kids in the truck taking them to the football game, you stand there helpless, lifeless as you watch the only thing in your life you ever loved being taken over by someone else.

So how god damned dare you go and try and find some happiness elsewhere and pick your life up and try and start again. How dare you even CONTEMPLATE that the kid(s) won't be kid(s) forever and you can have a future together when their old enough to make their own decisions on how mum ripped you all apart because of her selfish and self obsessed westernized ways.

So now we've gone from saying the guy is a deadbeat Dad to Sainthood. So what if the guy has a broken heart and may have gotten a divorce he didn't want. So what if he lost his stuff in the states and has now come to Thailand to start a new family. It doesn't relieve him of his responsibilities to his children. Give the poor guy a hug and tell him you're sorry to hear his painful story; but then tell him to get up, dust off and take care of his responsibilities. I too got a divorce that I didn't necessarily want; my ex and her new boyfriend now live in the house that I bought, and drive the car that I bought and sit and sleep on all the furniture that I bought too. So what... that's life! I still pay my child support. I could actually quit my job and physically afford to stay in Thailand on the income generated by my Thai wife's restaurant and shoe store. I could even have my child support adjusted to compensate for our Thai income. The problem is; I don't want my child to pay for my lifestyle choices. I stay working, and continue to look for ways to supplement our income in Thailand. When I can quit working and pay the support that my child needs to be properly taken care of; then I will go to Thailand to stay permanently. They are right, someday the kids will grow up and see that mean ole Mommy may have broken Daddy's heart and took all of his stuff; but they'll also see that Daddy was a bum, abandoned them and didn't care enough to even offer a dime to help take care of them. Kids can forgive a lot of stuff; but they don't forget abandonment. I don't care what his story is... he should take care of his kids.

"So what... that's life!" Sorry, sounds more like hel_l to me. When the kids grow up to be grown ups, they will usually come to see dad where ever he lives and with whomever. As grownups and after a number of conversations and having questions answers (usually mom does not give the answers they need to know) they reach an understanding with dad. Children of all ages prefer to love their dads its a very deep emotion. Finally after many years the feelings are normalised. And yes, a divorce is one of the most emotional upheavals in ones life and only time will heal. And why do I know?? It happened 2 times to me, the first time I lost 2 sons but we found each other again and how strong is the band now.... The second time I toke my son (in Thailand) , I guess I learned my lesson NEVER to accept that to happen again. I strongly feel we come on this earth to learn and for some this are lessons to learn, some get other tests...

Edited by dre1247
Posted
who are you to judge, do you know the circumstances or are you merely guessing? By the way may he who is without sins cast the first stone.

I got no problems with sinners mate. How about, "He who has not abandond his kids cast the first stone?"

Hahaha 7 posts in 6 years, that's what I call laid back. I am jealous...

Posted
dre1247 is being bloody defensive about this. Could he be the alleged "friend" mentioned in the first post?

Hey Troy, don't you break your near exelent 1 post a year now hahaha No, I am not but have been around a bit, things are usually not what they look like. Don't answer, preserve your record. I like it more than thousands of posts over the years by some members, as if one has nothing else to do.... Hmmm I guess they don't;)

Posted
Yes you evil evil man how can you do such a thing? You worked 7 days a week to do the best for your family, you sacrificed your social life and lost contact with many many friends due to being a devoted father and husband. You never drank, smoked or asked for anything for yourself, as long as the family had whatever they needed you was happy.

Then one day you returned home from work and your wife and kid(s) had gone to live with another man who she had fallen in love with, she said she had fallen out of love with you and needed to "find herself" She made it difficult to get reasonable access to see the kids, she took you to court and you lost practically everything.

The wife and kid(s) now live another big house with the new man in her life, he has a good job, they have plenty of cash, the kids will NOT go without other then a once a fortnight Saturday afternoon single dad with the kids at Mc Donalds trying desperately to smile and look like you can cope with the trauma of being left with nothing other then having your guts ripped out and stamped on and kicked down the street.

The new man drives past with YOUR kids in the truck taking them to the football game, you stand there helpless, lifeless as you watch the only thing in your life you ever loved being taken over by someone else.

So how god damned dare you go and try and find some happiness elsewhere and pick your life up and try and start again. How dare you even CONTEMPLATE that the kid(s) won't be kid(s) forever and you can have a future together when their old enough to make their own decisions on how mum ripped you all apart because of her selfish and self obsessed westernized ways.

So now we've gone from saying the guy is a deadbeat Dad to Sainthood. So what if the guy has a broken heart and may have gotten a divorce he didn't want. So what if he lost his stuff in the states and has now come to Thailand to start a new family. It doesn't relieve him of his responsibilities to his children. Give the poor guy a hug and tell him you're sorry to hear his painful story; but then tell him to get up, dust off and take care of his responsibilities. I too got a divorce that I didn't necessarily want; my ex and her new boyfriend now live in the house that I bought, and drive the car that I bought and sit and sleep on all the furniture that I bought too. So what... that's life! I still pay my child support. I could actually quit my job and physically afford to stay in Thailand on the income generated by my Thai wife's restaurant and shoe store. I could even have my child support adjusted to compensate for our Thai income. The problem is; I don't want my child to pay for my lifestyle choices. I stay working, and continue to look for ways to supplement our income in Thailand. When I can quit working and pay the support that my child needs to be properly taken care of; then I will go to Thailand to stay permanently. They are right, someday the kids will grow up and see that mean ole Mommy may have broken Daddy's heart and took all of his stuff; but they'll also see that Daddy was a bum, abandoned them and didn't care enough to even offer a dime to help take care of them. Kids can forgive a lot of stuff; but they don't forget abandonment. I don't care what his story is... he should take care of his kids.

"So what... that's life!" Sorry, sounds more like hel_l to me. When the kids grow up to be grown ups, they will usually come to see dad where ever he lives and with whomever. As grownups and after a number of conversations and having questions answers (usually mom does not give the answers they need to know) they reach an understanding with dad. Children of all ages prefer to love their dads its a very deep emotion. Finally after many years the feelings are normalised. And yes, a divorce is one of the most emotional upheavals in ones life and only time will heal. And why do I know?? It happened 2 times to me, the first time I lost 2 sons but we found each other again and how strong is the band now.... The second time I toke my son (in Thailand) , I guess I learned my lesson NEVER to accept that to happen again. I strongly feel we come on this earth to learn and for some this are lessons to learn, some get other tests...

I too had a bad couple of divorces, the first one cost me a lot of time with my oldest daughter, a lot of heartache and a lot of money. She stopped talking to me when I tried to get permanent custody after her Mom was put in jail for a second time over drugs. We had a crappy judge and he gave her back to her mother in spite of her 200% improvement in school attendance and grades; and the testimony of her principle, teacher and a counselor. I know about unfair. I even had to pay support twice one year... I had paid her Mother directly, without going through the court, and had to pay it again because it was considered a gift. I paid it... I bought her school clothes, paid for anything else she needed on top of my support; even though I couldn't really afford it, and even though I couldn't see her. After she got older, married and had kids of her own; that is when she started going out of her way to make contact with me again. You're right, the mothers don't always talk straigtht to the kids... but the number one reason that my daughter and I were able to bond as well as we have, is that I did the right thing; in spite of what was fair, or my circumstances or my feelings. Yes she sees her Mother now for what she is; and knows why we got divorced, not because I told her, but because she saw, she asked and she looked through a set of real mother's eyes. Just because someone gets the shaft through the courts or by an ex-wife; it doesn't give them the justification to abandon or not pay for the support of their kids. You have to make a distinction between the adults and the children. The children should never have to pay for the problems between two grown adults. So yeah... as an adult, as much as it hurts, as unfair as it can be... that's life. We're there because of problems between the father and the mother, not for the faults of the children. As adults we have to go out of our way to try to make any breakup; whether amicable or contested, not hurt the children. I can tell you one lesson that I've learned; you can never go wrong, by doing the right thing, whether any body notices or not.

Posted

Not to go off topic, This sort of thing is Rife in England , it is draining the state, The money that could go to the NHS, People just have kids and the parents don't stay to gether , The state picks up the Bill, It should be attached to there Earnings for life then there is no way of running away.

Posted
I assume the US doesn't have any security capable of detaining a US citizen on US embassy sovereign land? Obviously not... but it's too bad...

They will if a federal arrest warrant has been issued for him. Child support is usually a state welfare issue.

Posted

fact:- a Us embassy revokes the passport of a US-citizen while he is staying abroad.

I think, by normal international standards, every citizen of a state has the right to get a passport from his embassy, wherever he is. That should be this way, because you need a passport to prove your Identity and your right to stay in another country. (get a visa etc) This has totally (!) nothing to do with being criminal or whatever in your home country. To mix this up is totally bad, and I am not surprised, that the US is doing that. They always behave, and especially since they can use the 9/11 as excuse, as they can control the whole world and interfere in inner affairs of other states. For example: they have no right to ask the Thai authorities to arrest this man to send him to the US. So they took his passport, and made him, by doing this, beeing a criminal for staying in Thailand without proper documents. What a joke. If the Thai government would be really able to act independent, they would give this man another document to legally stay in Thailand (and live with his new family).

It is totally right, that states dont send you back to your home countries, just because your home country does want it.

It is well known, that the in vast majority of the countries in the world you were not given the basic rights of man.

No fair trail, no right to express your mind, no independent judges. Most governments are controlled by some mighty groups (military , dictatorships, capitalists, Kleptokraty (Burma, Cambodia .....).

So for basic human rights, it is very important that people can go to other countries to escape from the authorities of their countries. As I said before, the US have a bad history of trying to act beyond this basic right and they are trying to have unlimited access to every human being in the world. (f.e. kidnapping people all over the world and take them to secret prison camps - especially outside the us territory . (there are rumours, one of this camps was inside of one well known south-east Asian country!)

And ,as many writers said before, it is totally easy for a former wife to get a paper, which shows that you owe her 5000 or more $. And you, staying abroad for many years, have very limited ways of defending against those demands.

And before you "hanging up brigade" are starting to shout again:

I am a father who is paying support for now 17 years without missing it one day ! And I am willing to do this as long as I can and as long as it is needed.

Posted (edited)

When it comes to child support there are NO extenuating circumstances. It doesn't matter what your ex-wife did or how much of a bitch she was. The court orders child support and you pay it one way or another. You simply can't run away from it. No one ever said life or the courts were fair.

ADDED - Your ex-wife CANNOT claim that you did not pay. Child support payments are made to the court and they pay your ex-wife.

Edited by Gary A
Posted
When it comes to child support there are NO extenuating circumstances. It doesn't matter what your ex-wife did or how much of a bitch she was. The court orders child support and you pay it one way or another. You simply can't run away from it. No one ever said life or the courts were fair.

ADDED - Your ex-wife CANNOT claim that you did not pay. Child support payments are made to the court and they pay your ex-wife.

Had a slightly different experience. I was told to give my child support payments to my attorney who would then give it to my ex-wife's attorney and then to her.

About seven months latter I was informed by the state Child Support Enforcement Agency (CSEA) that I was nearly $3,000 in arrears. It seems the lawyers and the judge overlooked a court document, which I had never seen, ordering support payments to be made through CSEA. It took nearly a year to straighten out this mess. In the meantime the IRS withheld my refund and gave it to CSEA. To add to the confusion, two of my checks were lost by my ex-wife's lawyer, so I had to make stop payments and write new checks.

So much for the incompetence of our family court system, and legal system in general. Gary A, you are right. That is how the system works if you follow the rules.

By the way, this happened years after the CSEA system was put in place. So no excuses for this major screw up.

Posted

Another thing about child support payments. If for some reason at the end of the support period it is found out that there has been an overpayment, CSEA informs you that it is up to you to get the refund from your ex. Fat chance of ever seeing the money!

Posted
When it comes to child support there are NO extenuating circumstances. It doesn't matter what your ex-wife did or how much of a bitch she was. The court orders child support and you pay it one way or another. You simply can't run away from it. No one ever said life or the courts were fair.

ADDED - Your ex-wife CANNOT claim that you did not pay. Child support payments are made to the court and they pay your ex-wife.

You are a somewhat fool in your thinking, Or may be you do not read very good.

The

extenuating circumstances (as you put it) can be a number of things.

One the lone parent has no job.

He has to provide for his new family. (god forbid is no one in this world allowed to have a 2nd chance after divorce?)

May be he wants to support his children (You do not know the full story none of us do)

Yet many of you are willing to hang this person without fair trial.

All i can say is get your affairs in order before you try to correct others.

Posted
When it comes to child support there are NO extenuating circumstances. It doesn't matter what your ex-wife did or how much of a bitch she was. The court orders child support and you pay it one way or another. You simply can't run away from it. No one ever said life or the courts were fair.

ADDED - Your ex-wife CANNOT claim that you did not pay. Child support payments are made to the court and they pay your ex-wife.

You are a somewhat fool in your thinking, Or may be you do not read very good.

The

extenuating circumstances (as you put it) can be a number of things.

One the lone parent has no job.

He has to provide for his new family. (god forbid is no one in this world allowed to have a 2nd chance after divorce?)

May be he wants to support his children (You do not know the full story none of us do)

Yet many of you are willing to hang this person without fair trial.

All i can say is get your affairs in order before you try to correct others.

I read just fine although as far as your post, I am making the assumption that English is not your first language.

My affairs are in order because I followed the rules even though they are certainly NOT fair. The courts orders child support to be paid and regardless of what your personal problems happen to be, you are obligated to pay. It is up to you to challenge the court through the court system if your circumstances have changed and you can't pay.

Posted
When it comes to child support there are NO extenuating circumstances. It doesn't matter what your ex-wife did or how much of a bitch she was. The court orders child support and you pay it one way or another. You simply can't run away from it. No one ever said life or the courts were fair.

ADDED - Your ex-wife CANNOT claim that you did not pay. Child support payments are made to the court and they pay your ex-wife.

You are a somewhat fool in your thinking, Or may be you do not read very good.

The

extenuating circumstances (as you put it) can be a number of things.

One the lone parent has no job.

He has to provide for his new family. (god forbid is no one in this world allowed to have a 2nd chance after divorce?)

May be he wants to support his children (You do not know the full story none of us do)

Yet many of you are willing to hang this person without fair trial.

All i can say is get your affairs in order before you try to correct others.

I read just fine although as far as your post, I am making the assumption that English is not your first language.

My affairs are in order because I followed the rules even though they are certainly NOT fair. The courts orders child support to be paid and regardless of what your personal problems happen to be, you are obligated to pay. It is up to you to challenge the court through the court system if your circumstances have changed and you can't pay.

Gary A, from my experience you are correct. In my case I asked for a reduction in the amount of my support. At the court hearing, my ex's attorney asked for a denial and the judge agreed. Why? Because my attorney forgot to submit my latest financial statements which I filled in the day before the hearing. My lawyer said requesting a new hearing was out of the question.

I submitted a request to CSEA (see my previous post) for an administrative hearing. The hearings officer reduced the amount based on the information in my updated financial statement. When it came time to pay my attorney's fees I deducted the amount of "damages" he caused me by his negligence. He never said a word because I would have complained to the Office of Disciplinary Counsel. Lawyers avoid facing the ODC at all costs because it goes on their record.

By the way Gary A, I don't think you are a fool.

Posted
When it comes to child support there are NO extenuating circumstances. It doesn't matter what your ex-wife did or how much of a bitch she was. The court orders child support and you pay it one way or another. You simply can't run away from it. No one ever said life or the courts were fair.

ADDED - Your ex-wife CANNOT claim that you did not pay. Child support payments are made to the court and they pay your ex-wife.

You are a somewhat fool in your thinking, Or may be you do not read very good.

The

extenuating circumstances (as you put it) can be a number of things.

One the lone parent has no job.

He has to provide for his new family. (god forbid is no one in this world allowed to have a 2nd chance after divorce?)

May be he wants to support his children (You do not know the full story none of us do)

Yet many of you are willing to hang this person without fair trial.

All i can say is get your affairs in order before you try to correct others.

I read just fine although as far as your post, I am making the assumption that English is not your first language.

My affairs are in order because I followed the rules even though they are certainly NOT fair. The courts orders child support to be paid and regardless of what your personal problems happen to be, you are obligated to pay. It is up to you to challenge the court through the court system if your circumstances have changed and you can't pay.

My previous post was somewhat poorly put gary A. The get your affairs in order statement was not so much directed at you, Moreso at many of the other posters.

(Extenuating) Was a misread thinking it had being mispelt. (should have gone to spec savers :) )

The other point i was trying to make and i know it was very poor, Was that we do not have all the info here and so many are willing to hang this guy without knowing all.

Child support is a must and i do not support someone who refuses to support their children.

You are in someway correct that english is not my first language or at least it should not be.

I was born in Thailand,(Kanchanaburi) My father wanted me to have an english education.

At the age of 4 he took us all to the northeast of england, where after a short time i was sent to a normal primary school. Even to this day i think of those years as the best. He wanted me to attain real values, Honesty and respect for others. Later years i attended King's College Cambridge. So in reality my native language became my 2nd language.

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