Kiwis...

[Sir Burr]

A man buys several sheep, hoping to breed them for wool. After several

weeks, he notices that none of the sheep are getting pregnant, and calls

a vet for help. The vet tells him that he should try artificial

insemination. The man doesn't have the slightest idea what this means

but not wanting to display his ignorance, only asks the vet how he will

know when the sheep are pregnant. The vet tells him that they will stop

standing around and instead will lie down and wallow in grass when they

are pregnant.

The man hangs up and gives it some thought. He comes to the conclusion

that artificial insemination means he has to impregnate the sheep. So,

he loads the sheep into his Landrover, drives them out into the woods,

has sex with them all, brings them back and goes to bed.

Next morning, he wakes and looks out at the sheep. Seeing that they are

all still standing around, he deduces that the first try didn't take,

and loads them in the Landrover again. He drives them out to the woods,

bangs each sheep twice for good measure, brings them back and goes to

bed.

Next morning, he wakes to find the sheep still just standing around. One

more try, he tells himself, and proceeds to load them up and drive them

out to the woods. He spends all day shagging the sheep and upon

returning home, falls listlessly into bed.

The next morning, he cannot even raise himself from the bed to look at

the sheep. He asks his wife to look out and tell him if the sheep are

lying in the grass.

"No", she says, "they're all in the Landrover and one of them is beeping

the horn