Fat Men, Small Thai Women.

[jayboy]

It is part of the incredible phenomenon that many of us very average (at best) looking, older, overweight farang are so desirable to Thai women, even young girls. I am never given a second glance by women back home (USA), but in Thailand I am looked at every day like I am a celebrity! I am definitely desired - unbelievable. I've never received a expression from a Thai woman (even a drop-dead gorgeous one) that my appearance is not appealing to her (and I'm 62, thin hair, and 108kg). It constantly amazes me. After living here for more than two years, I now realize their attraction is genuine and it lifts me up every day. But I think smiling, being clean shaven and well-dressed makes a difference too. Thai women love that.

It is definitely an ego boost to live in LOS!

While your conclusion may be correct, your first paragraph suggests you are living in a dream world.Most Thai girls have the same view of fat old geezers as their equivalents in the West but culturally are less likely to spell out the harsh facts.Call it good Thai manners if you like.Another aspect is that lower class village girls (even if they migrated to the bar scene) but also middle class Thais have an old fashioned idea that physical attraction is much less important than being a nice guy with riaproi characteristics but above all the ability to provide.If there were many examples of attractive Thai women who were prepared to spend time with fat old foreign men they were not financially dependent on you might have a case to argue.

In the relatively small world of attractive well educated financially independent Thai girls settling for foreign partners, surprise surprise the farang in question tends to be slim, well educated and good looking.

Edited September 13, 2009 by jayboy

[eljeque]

TO THE POSTER

Your note: "Or should we only be with fat women?" suggests that there is something wrong with fat women. But, it does not appear to be saying there is something wrong with women. So, in it's context, you give the impression that there is something wrong with fat. If there is something wrong with fat, then you have answered your own post.

As you all can see I don't post much on here, but I do a lot of reading. I find something hard to understand that seems to be a "big" subject of discussion. Why do people make the assumption that because a man is fat he should not be with a Thai woman or that the Thai woman would not want to be with a fat guy unless it is for of money??? You know, this is not just Thai women either. When people anywhere around the world see a beautiful woman with an over weight man they assume she is only in it for money. So, I guess men who do not fit the "average" should not be with any woman? Or, should we only be with fat women? I would also guess that because we do not fit the "average", we have no personality or no charm or intelligence or.....what is it, really? So people are only supposed to fall in love based on physical appearance? I'm just looking for a little help in understanding some people's posts. It's not just on this site I read over on Bangkok Post as well and it just blows my mind the things I read. Regardless of what some of yall think, people CAN connect in other ways than just physically. My wife has explained to me time and time again that she has been with the "sexy" man type, and they all are SHIT! Ego's bigger than Texas, don't treat their women with any kind of respect. At any rate, like I said before, I'm just looking for a little help in understanding other people's posts..........

[britmaveric]

In the relatively small world of attractive well educated financially independent Thai girls settling for foreign partners, surprise surprise the farang in question tends to be slim, well educated and good looking.

Actually tends to be older and generally overweight lads, but let's not burst your bubble mate.

[jasonstod]

TO THE POSTER

Your note: "Or should we only be with fat women?" suggests that there is something wrong with fat women. But, it does not appear to be saying there is something wrong with women. So, in it's context, you give the impression that there is something wrong with fat. If there is something wrong with fat, then you have answered your own post.

no no no lol. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with people who are fat. What I assume from other peoples posts are that fat people are only supposed to be with people of the same physical build. lol

I understand that in any relationship, women would rather have a little financial security even if it means giving up a little on the physical appearance. Really, what woman would honestly want to start a relationship/family with someone who doesn't have a job?

[jayboy]

In the relatively small world of attractive well educated financially independent Thai girls settling for foreign partners, surprise surprise the farang in question tends to be slim, well educated and good looking.

Actually tends to be older and generally overweight lads, but let's not burst your bubble mate.

Burst my bubble? I don't have any particular interest one way or the other - just thirty years observation here.

The fact that you refer to older and generally overweight "lads" suggests that you might not be very familiar with the rather small group I had in mind.

[robblok]

TO THE POSTER

Your note: "Or should we only be with fat women?" suggests that there is something wrong with fat women. But, it does not appear to be saying there is something wrong with women. So, in it's context, you give the impression that there is something wrong with fat. If there is something wrong with fat, then you have answered your own post.

no no no lol. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with people who are fat. What I assume from other peoples posts are that fat people are only supposed to be with people of the same physical build. lol

I understand that in any relationship, women would rather have a little financial security even if it means giving up a little on the physical appearance. Really, what woman would honestly want to start a relationship/family with someone who doesn't have a job?

Yes that sounds right paying your girl so she stays with you the worse you look the more you pay. That is why i only date girls that share so im sure that she likes me not my money. I would not like to live knowing my girl likes me because of my money.

Your kinda destroying your own argument here.. like fat guys are nice she likes me because im nice.. to .. she does not mind being with me because i pay.

[britmaveric]

^just decades of observation myself mate - I guess you are unfamiliar in your limited arena. Suggest you get out more.

[Chang_paarp]

We are all victims of the society we have grown up with. The stereotypes that are portrayed in the media, specifically advertising by the advertising industry are a huge influence on our self image and how we see others.

If you look back only a few decades, the ideal for a lady was 36-24-36, this is a long way from current ideals of almost anorexic and very different from the objects of desire 50 or 100 years ago. For Aussie art lovers think about the curvaceous ladies of Norman Lindsay's paintings, they were desirable in their day.

In the 19th century a man was seen as desirable if he had something of a paunch, if he could afford to become fat he must be a good catch. Now days the projected ideal is a lot different, some of it is self imposed shaped by images we see.

We all have a bag of characteristics we seek in an ideal partner such as physical, character, intellect, emotional, and will overlook "low" points in one area to get some in another. Our weighting of these characteristics shows in how we select a partner. It is because we are human, that we have different ideals, a good thing for many of us.

[mooncake]

Anyway there are a lot of fat men who don’t really see themselves as fat, the way that women do.

And sadly our society has double standard/ judgment when it comes to the overweight issue, ..and over weight males are treated a lot better than over weight women.

But the bottom line is that , between two people, for some it’s not the fat that matters, but….

...what is in between those 2 ears…for some

...What is in the heart for some….for some

...What is in the pocket… for some

Etcs..

Same goes as some men will only go for voluptuous women, not a walking toothpick women, or some have different fetish for whatever…

Everyone is different ….just a matter of preference and matter only between the two people involved.

The ones that complain the most tend to be those who are normal size.

Just my take here

[jayboy]

^just decades of observation myself mate - I guess you are unfamiliar in your limited arena. Suggest you get out more.

I was trying not to let this get personal but the record of your posts gives many clues where your "decades of observation" took place.

Take my word for it, in the educated upper and upper middle class circles of Bangkok , attractive young Thai girls tend to prefer attractive, hard working and well connected young men, whether Thai or foreigner.

If the legion of old farang porkers think they are loved for their good lucks, so be it.

[carmine]

Shall we all just agree that here, despite looks, weight or personality, if you have a fat wallet, you have found heaven, because 95% of the time none of the others are particularily important here. Right or wrong is irrelevent so might aswell make the most of it i feel and not worry about percieved inadequacies

[jayboy]

Shall we all just agree that here, despite looks, weight or personality, if you have a fat wallet, you have found heaven, because 95% of the time none of the others are particularily important here.

Can't really agree because although this might apply to those interested in paid companionship, it wouldn't necessarily apply elsewhere (and not only for the cynical reason that what would be regarded as a "fat wallet" in the bar scene would not in the upper echelons of Bangkok society.)

[carmine]

Shall we all just agree that here, despite looks, weight or personality, if you have a fat wallet, you have found heaven, because 95% of the time none of the others are particularily important here.

Can't really agree because although this might apply to those interested in paid companionship, it wouldn't necessarily apply elsewhere (and not only for the cynical reason that what would be regarded as a "fat wallet" in the bar scene would not in the upper echelons of Bangkok society.)

I agree with you with regards upper echelons of Bangkok society, but you and i both know they are not representative of the general populous

[miatai]

1. heard mostly about the meeting of minds. meeting of bodies????? never heard of it, except in hollywood.
   

[Travel2003]

While I'm not 'obese' I do have a traditional Aussie beer gut. Every time I knuckle down and start lose some weight the missus gets worried that other girls will start looking at me.

The resulting 'attention' I receive from her is well worth the effort involved in dropping a few kilos.

Amazing.

Exactly the same here!

When I tell her that she wants me fat because then other ladies maybe not look at me, she laughs out loud, and says yes true.

Then we both laugh of it.

[473geo]

The point being here....if you spend time working out, eating the right diet, keeping your body toned slim and muscular, buying the designer clothes that make you look good...........

Are you ever going to accept that although a lady may be pleased with all that........a man who can take good care of her, entertain her, and show her the respect she deserves, whatever his shape.............maybe above you on the love ladder ............

[imaneggspurt]

My buddy is well over weight , so much so that instead of a neck he has an exended torso . However , being HUGE isnt a problem , the ladies love his double beer barrel stomach and he never has problems with getting a lady. He recently married a beautiful woman , stunning in fact and no one can understand why she would chose him rather than a younger healthier and fitter looking man . The Answer is that he is one of the nicest genuine guys you would want to meet. Its not always the looks and money that attract the girls as he hasnt got much dosh but obviously being who he is makes up for what he hasnt got.

Its not just thai women either ,i have a friend in the uk that is probably 110 kilos, hes got a superb personality and ive been friends with him for 30 years, women swoon over him, he makes them laugh and feel like the only woman alive,,, ask the girls what they like, a body/looks wont be on the top of the list i bet,.unlike us men ,and thats what gets us into trouble ! ,.......

Gets you in trouble.. i learned my lesson after 1 sexy wife from hel_l. I tend to want a girl with a brain and of course normal looks. Rather have an average girl with a brain then a looker with bad temper. However most perfect would be a looker with a brain.

I could have written that. ,Exactly the same happened to me, im sure for us and the girls the perfect combination is hard to find,.but happy indeed i am with my current wife of 8 years, it can be done,.but look in the right places, not walking st

[carmine]

The point being here....if you spend time working out, eating the right diet, keeping your body toned slim and muscular, buying the designer clothes that make you look good...........

Are you ever going to accept that although a lady may be pleased with all that........a man who can take good care of her, entertain her, and show her the respect she deserves, whatever his shape.............maybe above you on the love ladder ............

No definately is way above you...hilarious!!!!!

[rixalex]

It is part of the incredible phenomenon that many of us very average (at best) looking, older, overweight farang are so desirable to Thai women, even young girls.

What is it that attracts them though?

Would they still be attracted by that sort of package if the man were a Thai?

I know all you fat old men won't appreciate me saying this, but all the young Thai women i know would shudder at the thought of having a relationship with a man who was twice their age and overweight - much as i would shudder at the thought of having one with an overweight woman twice my age. Sorry if that makes me shallow.

I sincerely wish that weren't the case because sometime i too will be an old man hankering after all these lovely young ladies!

Edited September 13, 2009 by rixalex

[Geekfreaklover]

The level of disillusion is staggering.

The majority of Thai women do not find old fat men (Thai or farang) attractive. what they find attractive is the prospect of having a house, a car and 10 times their expected national salary every year.

If you have ever been poor, it makes sense to shack up with one with money who is fat or slim. Old or young. Handsome, or ugly. It's a survival technque in a country that has no welfare system. Sounds cynical. I know. But lets face it; Generally Thai women do not find old fat men attractive, but the money is nice..

[greytown]

While I'm not 'obese' I do have a traditional Aussie beer gut. Every time I knuckle down and start lose some weight the missus gets worried that other girls will start looking at me.

The resulting 'attention' I receive from her is well worth the effort involved in dropping a few kilos.

Amazing.

Exactly the same here!

When I tell her that she wants me fat because then other ladies maybe not look at me, she laughs out loud, and says yes true.

Then we both laugh of it.

I think that sounds perhaps like the correct reality (between "they find fat old men attractive" and "they only like them for the money"). They would prefer a less desirable man to one more desirable who might get taken away by other eager ladies...

[FarangForce5]

Hi jasonstod, interesting thread you have started here. I am curious to know a little more about your own personal relationship. From what I have gathered in your posts you said you are married to a Thai woman and are considered to be uan here. Could you give us some insight into how and where you met your wife, her background, etc? A little more info about yourself (age, occupation) would be interesting to know as well, since this thread is basically about the misconceptions people have when they see a small Thai woman with a large Farang man.

Thanks!

[rixalex]

The level of disillusion is staggering.

The majority of Thai women do not find old fat men (Thai or farang) attractive. what they find attractive is the prospect of having a house, a car and 10 times their expected national salary every year.

If you have ever been poor, it makes sense to shack up with one with money who is fat or slim. Old or young. Handsome, or ugly. It's a survival technque in a country that has no welfare system. Sounds cynical. I know. But lets face it; Generally Thai women do not find old fat men attractive, but the money is nice..

That's it in a nutshell.

[rixalex]

Could you give us some insight into how and where you met your wife, her background, etc?

You must be new.

FYI: All Thaivisa member's girlfriends/wives are university graduates, they come from good families and they have great, well-paid jobs. They are "good" girls.

[473geo]

The level of disillusion is staggering.

The majority of Thai women do not find old fat men (Thai or farang) attractive. what they find attractive is the prospect of having a house, a car and 10 times their expected national salary every year.

If you have ever been poor, it makes sense to shack up with one with money who is fat or slim. Old or young. Handsome, or ugly. It's a survival technque in a country that has no welfare system. Sounds cynical. I know. But lets face it; Generally Thai women do not find old fat men attractive, but the money is nice..

I don't suppose many Thai women find drunks attractive, of any nationality, but they seem to end up with them also!!!!! Love?? or money??

From what you have said above, the farang (whatever shape or size) who is able to provide for his partner is then much more beneficial to the females of Thailand than the one who comes looking for true love, and insist the Thai females pay their way to prove their love.

Can't disagree with that comment...

[473geo]

Could you give us some insight into how and where you met your wife, her background, etc?

You must be new.

FYI: All Thaivisa member's girlfriends/wives are university graduates, they come from good families and they have great, well-paid jobs. They are "good" girls.

You must take more notice of other posts.....I know of a few members who have openly admitted to shall we say meeting girls at the beaches......you know I actually recall a couple of these being on one of the more positive threads about long term marriages...

[FarangForce5]

Could you give us some insight into how and where you met your wife, her background, etc?

You must be new.

FYI: All Thaivisa member's girlfriends/wives are university graduates, they come from good families and they have great, well-paid jobs. They are "good" girls.

Funny Stuff... I can say that my girlfriend of 3+ years does in fact meet that description, but it took me a long time to find her and I dated a few before that who weren't anything to brag about.

Im still looking forward to jasonstod's reply to my original questions...

[rixalex]

You must take more notice of other posts.....

Thanks for the tip but nah, i waste enough time on here as it is.

I know of a few members who have openly admitted to shall we say meeting girls at the beaches

By "beaches" do you mean bars or go-gos? Why not just say that - no need to flower it up.

[Geekfreaklover]

The level of disillusion is staggering.

The majority of Thai women do not find old fat men (Thai or farang) attractive. what they find attractive is the prospect of having a house, a car and 10 times their expected national salary every year.

If you have ever been poor, it makes sense to shack up with one with money who is fat or slim. Old or young. Handsome, or ugly. It's a survival technque in a country that has no welfare system. Sounds cynical. I know. But lets face it; Generally Thai women do not find old fat men attractive, but the money is nice..

I don't suppose many Thai women find drunks attractive, of any nationality, but they seem to end up with them also!!!!! Love?? or money??

From what you have said above, the farang (whatever shape or size) who is able to provide for his partner is then much more beneficial to the females of Thailand than the one who comes looking for true love, and insist the Thai females pay their way to prove their love.

Can't disagree with that comment...

I believe it is important for a modern woman to have a sense of respect for herself. Working and contributing to the family income gives a feeling of self worth and futhermore puts her in a position where she can move out of the relationship if it is not working out. I think eduication and employment opportunites would be "benefical to the females of Thailand", and not marrying a meal ticket. But hey, thats just my thoughts.

Edited September 13, 2009 by Geekfreaklover

[Lopburi99]

It is part of the incredible phenomenon that many of us very average (at best) looking, older, overweight farang are so desirable to Thai women, even young girls.

What is it that attracts them though?

Would they still be attracted by that sort of package if the man were a Thai?

I know all you fat old men won't appreciate me saying this, but all the young Thai women i know would shudder at the thought of having a relationship with a man who was twice their age and overweight - much as i would shudder at the thought of having one with an overweight woman twice my age. Sorry if that makes me shallow.

I sincerely wish that weren't the case because sometime i too will be an old man hankering after all these lovely young ladies!

Believe me Alex, anybody reading my posts in the past know how cynical I am about the Thai gals looking for walking ATMs to the extent of even quickly selling out their young lives for financial security with somebody they don't even know.

However, I often feel what I believe to be genuine attraction. Perhaps somewhat because we are intriguing and so different appearing, kinda like them striving to have whiter skin, or buying blue contact lenses. I don't know.

Or maybe I am selling myself short, and that I am actually much better looking than I give myself credit for? HAHAHA, I don't think so! Or I wouldn't be selecting Raymond Burr as my avatar!

Anyway, this thread is entertaining. Works for me. Thanks!

Edited September 13, 2009 by Lopburi99