Fat Men, Small Thai Women.

[IanForbes]

Who cares what other people do? Who cares what their needs are? If it works for them then who are we to judge them in a negative fashion?

Its not a matter of caring what somebody does Ian, it is the issue of whether a specific behavior is condoned. For example, I don't care if you personally rob banks or regularly pick your nose in a restaurant, but I don't condone the robbing of banks or approve of the picking of noses in public places. That's not passing judgment.

Not necessarily so. robbing banks is wrong... period. Prostitution is illegal in some countries but legal in others, and morally wrong in many other countries. Same goes with drugs. I frankly don't care what others think or approve of when laws are not being broken. And, even when someone CHOOSES to do something to their body that might be illegal I wonder what business it is of mine to set MY moral standards on them.

The picking of noses in public places is just a matter of taste. The same with farting and belching in company... or wearing inappropriate clothing in a workplace or formal dinner. People that do so are just ignorant and are bound to be judged. The same is true with men associating with bar girls. I won't do anything to affront the morals of anybody if they stay away from me, but on the same token, people who don't approve of older men with bar girls should stay away from that scene and mind their own business. I always laughed at the morally righteous who went to well known nud_e beaches and then acted like it was somebody elses fault that there were all these nud_e people walking around and enjoying themselves.

I don't necessarily condone excessive drinking or the taking of harsh drugs, but if they aren't driving afterwards I couldn't care less what people do to their own bodies. We are all going to judge people in some way or another... whether we judge them in a good manner or a poor one. It's only when people start trying to enforce their personal morals or standards on others that I take issue. It's the same with religion. Whatever you choose for yourself is fine by me, but don't try telling me what I should do.

If people are happy with what life style they've chosen for themselves then I'm happy for them. I don't care whether they are old, young, fat or skinny. If a woman wants a man for security purposes then that is okay by me. If a fat old bloke can entice some lovely young lady to stay with him for a price then who am I to say it's not right. If people can have a short, happy time together then that is much better than being alone because it doesn't meet the standards set by others.

[Lopburi99]

Who cares what other people do? Who cares what their needs are? If it works for them then who are we to judge them in a negative fashion?

Its not a matter of caring what somebody does Ian, it is the issue of whether a specific behavior is condoned. For example, I don't care if you personally rob banks or regularly pick your nose in a restaurant, but I don't condone the robbing of banks or approve of the picking of noses in public places. That's not passing judgment.

Not necessarily so. robbing banks is wrong... period. Prostitution is illegal in some countries but legal in others, and morally wrong in many other countries. Same goes with drugs. I frankly don't care what others think or approve of when laws are not being broken. And, even when someone CHOOSES to do something to their body that might be illegal I wonder what business it is of mine to set MY moral standards on them.

The picking of noses in public places is just a matter of taste. The same with farting and belching in company... or wearing inappropriate clothing in a workplace or formal dinner. People that do so are just ignorant and are bound to be judged. The same is true with men associating with bar girls. I won't do anything to affront the morals of anybody if they stay away from me, but on the same token, people who don't approve of older men with bar girls should stay away from that scene and mind their own business. I always laughed at the morally righteous who went to well known nud_e beaches and then acted like it was somebody elses fault that there were all these nud_e people walking around and enjoying themselves.

I don't necessarily condone excessive drinking or the taking of harsh drugs, but if they aren't driving afterwards I couldn't care less what people do to their own bodies. We are all going to judge people in some way or another... whether we judge them in a good manner or a poor one. It's only when people start trying to enforce their personal morals or standards on others that I take issue. It's the same with religion. Whatever you choose for yourself is fine by me, but don't try telling me what I should do.

If people are happy with what life style they've chosen for themselves then I'm happy for them. I don't care whether they are old, young, fat or skinny. If a woman wants a man for security purposes then that is okay by me. If a fat old bloke can entice some lovely young lady to stay with him for a price then who am I to say it's not right. If people can have a short, happy time together then that is much better than being alone because it doesn't meet the standards set by others.

Thanks for the reply Ian. I picked (no pun intended) silly examples to help make my point, which still stands, but I fear they may have instead obfuscated it a bit.

Just got up (yawn) and I want to ponder your post further, but only after my eggs and toast .

Edited September 17, 2009 by Lopburi99

[robblok]

Who cares what other people do? Who cares what their needs are? If it works for them then who are we to judge them in a negative fashion?

Its not a matter of caring what somebody does Ian, it is the issue of whether a specific behavior is condoned. For example, I don't care if you personally rob banks or regularly pick your nose in a restaurant, but I don't condone the robbing of banks or approve of the picking of noses in public places. That's not passing judgment.

All in good fun Lopburi99... but i wonder if robbing banks is that wrong after the banks in Europe and the US got taxpayers money and in a way robbed the taxpayer and still the managers got huge bonusses.

[Lopburi99]

Who cares what other people do? Who cares what their needs are? If it works for them then who are we to judge them in a negative fashion?

Its not a matter of caring what somebody does Ian, it is the issue of whether a specific behavior is condoned. For example, I don't care if you personally rob banks or regularly pick your nose in a restaurant, but I don't condone the robbing of banks or approve of the picking of noses in public places. That's not passing judgment.

All in good fun Lopburi99... but i wonder if robbing banks is that wrong after the banks in Europe and the US got taxpayers money and in a way robbed the taxpayer and still the managers got huge bonusses.

Great point "Rob"! On second thought, let's go rob the bastards, they certainly didn't think twice about robbing us!

Edited September 17, 2009 by Lopburi99

[fantaasia]

I am over 50 and weigh 125 Kgs (though I am very very handsome)

my stunning wife is about 20 years younger and weighs about 43 Kgs approx. one third my weight!.

I love the hate stares when we are in Europe. It makes up for all the years of c..p that was dished out.

Even some of the jealous blokes would like to take me on 'cept Im built like a bull. Dang, Im lovin it!

[Lopburi99]

Who cares what other people do? Who cares what their needs are? If it works for them then who are we to judge them in a negative fashion?

Its not a matter of caring what somebody does Ian, it is the issue of whether a specific behavior is condoned. For example, I don't care if you personally rob banks or regularly pick your nose in a restaurant, but I don't condone the robbing of banks or approve of the picking of noses in public places. That's not passing judgment.

Not necessarily so. robbing banks is wrong... period. Prostitution is illegal in some countries but legal in others, and morally wrong in many other countries. Same goes with drugs. I frankly don't care what others think or approve of when laws are not being broken. And, even when someone CHOOSES to do something to their body that might be illegal I wonder what business it is of mine to set MY moral standards on them.

The picking of noses in public places is just a matter of taste. The same with farting and belching in company... or wearing inappropriate clothing in a workplace or formal dinner. People that do so are just ignorant and are bound to be judged. The same is true with men associating with bar girls. I won't do anything to affront the morals of anybody if they stay away from me, but on the same token, people who don't approve of older men with bar girls should stay away from that scene and mind their own business. I always laughed at the morally righteous who went to well known nud_e beaches and then acted like it was somebody elses fault that there were all these nud_e people walking around and enjoying themselves.

I don't necessarily condone excessive drinking or the taking of harsh drugs, but if they aren't driving afterwards I couldn't care less what people do to their own bodies. We are all going to judge people in some way or another... whether we judge them in a good manner or a poor one. It's only when people start trying to enforce their personal morals or standards on others that I take issue. It's the same with religion. Whatever you choose for yourself is fine by me, but don't try telling me what I should do.

If people are happy with what life style they've chosen for themselves then I'm happy for them. I don't care whether they are old, young, fat or skinny. If a woman wants a man for security purposes then that is okay by me. If a fat old bloke can entice some lovely young lady to stay with him for a price then who am I to say it's not right. If people can have a short, happy time together then that is much better than being alone because it doesn't meet the standards set by others.

Thanks for the reply Ian. I picked (no pun intended) silly examples to help make my point, which still stands, but I fear they may have instead obfuscated it a bit.

Just got up (yawn) and I want to ponder your post further, but only after my eggs and toast .

Ok, I've eaten, showered, shaved, read up on the new posts, gotten over my depression bout regarding the $USD, and have my head together now.

I think we mostly agree, the complication being our interpretation of the term "to pass judgment." A semantics thing. I don't believe not supporting a person's behavior, in itself, constitutes passing judgment on that individual. To me "passing judgment" implies criticism (essentially by definition). I may not condone a type of behavior, but that does not mean I am personally criticizing somebody displaying that behavior.

Accordingly, I don't believe some previous posters were personally on attack, just expressing their own views.

I am completely indifferent to the life style or morality choices of others. But I have my own beliefs and values, and those define me as the person I am.

Regards

Edited September 17, 2009 by Lopburi99

[imaneggspurt]

Those saying thai women are only with them for the money obviously have nothing else to offer, such as a personality, an abilaty to make people laugh and to be a nice guy in general ,if you dont have any of these qualites there are some thai women that will tolerate you for a given price sure !

Carry on believing that.

See above post, .if you are surrounded by turkeys its hard to soar with eagles !

Quite right (and let's face it, the farang men are the turkeys, plucked and ready for Christmas!) - its just that I'm still waiting to see 'an eagle'!

I do know one successful mixed marriage here, but the (lovely) lady made it v clear (to me as a friend) that she only went out with her farang husband after years of pursuit. Good for him - he found a truly good woman, and I'm sure he won't let her down because he loves her. Even so, love didn't come into it on her part - it was a pragmatic decision that has worked out well for both of them.

Other than that, where mixed relationships are concerned, I've honestly seen nothing other than Thai women with farangs who where actively looking for farang men.

I know there are obviously relationships out there truly based on love, but I suspect the vast majority of them were founded abroad.

"I do know one successful mixed marriage here,",You know know of 2,you can include mine,.and nothing personal ,but, you have made your self seem a bit silly with that statement.

[vagabond48]

All in good fun Lopburi99... but i wonder if robbing banks is that wrong after the banks in Europe and the US got taxpayers money and in a way robbed the taxpayer and still the managers got huge bonusses.

Great point "Rob"! On second thought, let's go rob the bastards, they certainly didn't think twice about robbing us!

I know this is off topic and the above was said ingest, but unfortunately, while the bankers got to rob us, if we rob the bank, we still rob us. It's not their money we're robbing but ours, the depositors.

[rixalex]

It's not their money we're robbing but ours, the depositors.

So not robbing at all, merely taking back something that already belonged to us.

So, who's up for hitting a bank tonight? I'm good to go. Just need a Ford Transit and some balaclavas...

[robblok]

It's not their money we're robbing but ours, the depositors.

So not robbing at all, merely taking back something that already belonged to us.

So, who's up for hitting a bank tonight? I'm good to go. Just need a Ford Transit and some balaclavas...

We first have to find a bank that we all have deposits by else it would be stealing.. but now it would be making a withdraw without our cards.

[wolf5370]

I also don't understand why people get fat, I mean watch what you eat and do some excercise, it is that simple.

Oh yeah, right. Don't we wish?

(Sweetie, it's too hot to go for a walk today. BTW, what we eat tonight? Oooh, pizza, aloy mak mak! )

Well after watching America's fattest losers for the past couple of months when I get home from work, suffice to say my self-esteem has gone up a notch or two. So much in fact that I have withdrawn my entry form from the upcoming Asian Edition.

As Bonobo has pointed out your not fat at all, anyway its never bad to do some exercise.

I guess you had me tagged wrong.. because you never got back to me after my reply. I workout for myself and as an added bonus some girls seem to like it. But if you don't do it for yourself you can never keep it up.

OK, can I ask a question here - a lot has been said about 'why Thai girls like fat blokes' ya da da da - and many of you are saying it must be the money - and yet the fitter ones are convinced its because of their looks that the girls like them. Apart from that being more than a tad vain, the question is 'How do you know its you she likes (or your body if you must) and not YOUR potential wallet?'

...and don't say because she told you so, because that's also what she told the fat guy too. Point is, you have no more idea if its true affection or gold digging than the next fellow, however fat - its just your vanity tells you your 'sacrifice' makes all the difference.

[robblok]

OK, can I ask a question here - a lot has been said about 'why Thai girls like fat blokes' ya da da da - and many of you are saying it must be the money - and yet the fitter ones are convinced its because of their looks that the girls like them. Apart from that being more than a tad vain, the question is 'How do you know its you she likes (or your body if you must) and not YOUR potential wallet?'

...and don't say because she told you so, because that's also what she told the fat guy too. Point is, you have no more idea if its true affection or gold digging than the next fellow, however fat - its just your vanity tells you your 'sacrifice' makes all the difference.

I know because the girls i dated always payed half of the costs. My wife pays half of everything too mortgage, electricity ect . So i know its not about money. I would not date a girl and always pay everything. I do this to make sure its not about the money.

[azza09]

I only read the first post on this thread so excuse me if this has already been done:

I saw the results of a poll done recently on what Men and Women favor more in the opposite sex.

One of the results was that Men mostly favored slender Women rather than overweight Women (no surprise there ) but how-ever Women were mostly not realy interested at all if a man was over weight or not and favored other qualities when looking for the perfect partner.

just another useless poll but interesting none the less.............

Edited September 17, 2009 by azza09

[britmaveric]

Lads are more visual while ladies are more auditory oriented.

[mahtin]

Lads are more visual while ladies are more auditory oriented.

Nowadays they're born with a silver mobile in their mouth.

[wolf5370]

Lads are more visual while ladies are more auditory oriented.

Does that mean we should be serenading them

[wolf5370]

OK, can I ask a question here - a lot has been said about 'why Thai girls like fat blokes' ya da da da - and many of you are saying it must be the money - and yet the fitter ones are convinced its because of their looks that the girls like them. Apart from that being more than a tad vain, the question is 'How do you know its you she likes (or your body if you must) and not YOUR potential wallet?'

...and don't say because she told you so, because that's also what she told the fat guy too. Point is, you have no more idea if its true affection or gold digging than the next fellow, however fat - its just your vanity tells you your 'sacrifice' makes all the difference.

I know because the girls i dated always payed half of the costs. My wife pays half of everything too mortgage, electricity ect . So i know its not about money. I would not date a girl and always pay everything. I do this to make sure its not about the money.

So, if you did happen to go out with a girl that couldn't afford to pay half, then she's a gold digger? - and if the fat guy's date also paid half that means she isn't? Still not entirely convinced here, and I don't want to seem like I attacking you (which I'm not), but it still seems like either vanity or body snobbery that is prejudicing (non fat / non old / non ugly / whatever) people's views of other people's relationships. Its rather shallow and slightly bigoted in my view.

I believe we can all attract the wrong sort and the right sort and I truly think that, whilst people tend to be initially attracted by physical appearance, it is often the funny, confident, interesting guy that ends up with the girl long term regardless of whether he can do the ironing on his abs or not. Grabbing a hooker for a one night stand is a completely different kettle of fish, but when people get to know each other (especially in groups - at work, on courses, even on holidays), its often not the one you expect that gets the best looking girl in the end (if if she did work her way through the GI Joe's first).

[F1fanatic]

Who cares what other people do? Who cares what their needs are? If it works for them then who are we to judge them in a negative fashion?

Its not a matter of caring what somebody does Ian, it is the issue of whether a specific behavior is condoned. For example, I don't care if you personally rob banks or regularly pick your nose in a restaurant, but I don't condone the robbing of banks or approve of the picking of noses in public places. That's not passing judgment.

Not necessarily so. robbing banks is wrong... period. Prostitution is illegal in some countries but legal in others, and morally wrong in many other countries. Same goes with drugs. I frankly don't care what others think or approve of when laws are not being broken. And, even when someone CHOOSES to do something to their body that might be illegal I wonder what business it is of mine to set MY moral standards on them.

The picking of noses in public places is just a matter of taste. The same with farting and belching in company... or wearing inappropriate clothing in a workplace or formal dinner. People that do so are just ignorant and are bound to be judged. The same is true with men associating with bar girls. I won't do anything to affront the morals of anybody if they stay away from me, but on the same token, people who don't approve of older men with bar girls should stay away from that scene and mind their own business. I always laughed at the morally righteous who went to well known nud_e beaches and then acted like it was somebody elses fault that there were all these nud_e people walking around and enjoying themselves.

I don't necessarily condone excessive drinking or the taking of harsh drugs, but if they aren't driving afterwards I couldn't care less what people do to their own bodies. We are all going to judge people in some way or another... whether we judge them in a good manner or a poor one. It's only when people start trying to enforce their personal morals or standards on others that I take issue. It's the same with religion. Whatever you choose for yourself is fine by me, but don't try telling me what I should do.

If people are happy with what life style they've chosen for themselves then I'm happy for them. I don't care whether they are old, young, fat or skinny. If a woman wants a man for security purposes then that is okay by me. If a fat old bloke can entice some lovely young lady to stay with him for a price then who am I to say it's not right. If people can have a short, happy time together then that is much better than being alone because it doesn't meet the standards set by others.

Good grief, what a load of twaddle! You start off by saying that you don't care about prostitution or drugs as they're not illegal, and even if they were, its no business of yours. You go on to say that people picking their nose, farting or belching in public or wearing inappropriate clothes will be seen as ignorant (presumably unlike those who are into prostitution or drugs).

You then go onto say that people who disapprove of old men with bar girls should stay away from that scene. Please explain to me, precisely how? The easy answer is 'don't go to bars' - but why should normal people with feelings of revulsion (the normal feeling from their own cultural background) be excluded from the equivalent to a pub here? Let's not forget that its not 'a difference in culture' as its always an old farang male with a younger Thai woman - never an older Thai male with a etc. etc.!

And where on earth did you get the idea of "the morally righteous who went to well known nud_e beaches and then acted like it was somebody elses fault that there were all these nud_e people walking around and enjoying themselves". Its certainly not something I've ever seen!!

[bonobo]

So, if you did happen to go out with a girl that couldn't afford to pay half, then she's a gold digger? - and if the fat guy's date also paid half that means she isn't? Still not entirely convinced here, and I don't want to seem like I attacking you (which I'm not), but it still seems like either vanity or body snobbery that is prejudicing (non fat / non old / non ugly / whatever) people's views of other people's relationships. Its rather shallow and slightly bigoted in my view.

I believe we can all attract the wrong sort and the right sort and I truly think that, whilst people tend to be initially attracted by physical appearance, it is often the funny, confident, interesting guy that ends up with the girl long term regardless of whether he can do the ironing on his abs or not. Grabbing a hooker for a one night stand is a completely different kettle of fish, but when people get to know each other (especially in groups - at work, on courses, even on holidays), its often not the one you expect that gets the best looking girl in the end (if if she did work her way through the GI Joe's first).

I don't think it is at all body-vanity, or at least misplaced body vanity, to say that most people are more attracted to fit/young/beautiful/handsome/healthy people.  And just because someone fit is saying that does not make it wishful thinking.  If people were not wired this way, then most of the beauty industry would go out of business, as would many gyms.

However, that is not to say that physical appearance is the only criteria.  It may be the initial or at least one of the first things from which we form an opinion, but other things tend to take over.  So while a fat man may be very attractive as a person and do much better with women than a fit guy who is a jerk, the fact of the matter is that if this great overweight guy and the jerky fit and handsome guy walked into the room together, most women would look to the jerk first. Of course, they may be leaving with the overweight guy, but their eye is first drawn to what we, as a society and as a species, deem attractive.

And we all make judgments based on appearances.  I really don't care who goes out with whom.  BUt if I see a handsome stud walking arm and arm with a beautiful woman, I don't give it much thought.  But if I see an overweight man with a beautiful woman, I do wonder what he has or is, be that a great personality, money, a great lover, smart, power, success.  It may be that that particular woman is a chubby chaser, but I assume he must have something else going for him.  I tip my hat to him and give him all kudos, but this is still prejudice.  Harmless prejudice, maybe, but prejudice all the same.  I don't wonder about the same things for the fit guy, so why for the overweight guy?

[bonobo]

Not Thai-related, but have you ever seen the stunning knockouts marrying sumo wrestlers?  Appearances are not the only, nor even the main criteria that we use to form opinions on potential matches.  Many other factors trump media-driven ideals of beauty.

[G54]

So, if you did happen to go out with a girl that couldn't afford to pay half, then she's a gold digger? - and if the fat guy's date also paid half that means she isn't? Still not entirely convinced here, and I don't want to seem like I attacking you (which I'm not), but it still seems like either vanity or body snobbery that is prejudicing (non fat / non old / non ugly / whatever) people's views of other people's relationships. Its rather shallow and slightly bigoted in my view.

I believe we can all attract the wrong sort and the right sort and I truly think that, whilst people tend to be initially attracted by physical appearance, it is often the funny, confident, interesting guy that ends up with the girl long term regardless of whether he can do the ironing on his abs or not. Grabbing a hooker for a one night stand is a completely different kettle of fish, but when people get to know each other (especially in groups - at work, on courses, even on holidays), its often not the one you expect that gets the best looking girl in the end (if if she did work her way through the GI Joe's first).

I don't think it is at all body-vanity, or at least misplaced body vanity, to say that most people are more attracted to fit/young/beautiful/handsome/healthy people. And just because someone fit is saying that does not make it wishful thinking. If people were not wired this way, then most of the beauty industry would go out of business, as would many gyms.

However, that is not to say that physical appearance is the only criteria. It may be the initial or at least one of the first things from which we form an opinion, but other things tend to take over. So while a fat man may be very attractive as a person and do much better with women than a fit guy who is a jerk, the fact of the matter is that if this great overweight guy and the jerky fit and handsome guy walked into the room together, most women would look to the jerk first. Of course, they may be leaving with the overweight guy, but their eye is first drawn to what we, as a society and as a species, deem attractive.

And we all make judgments based on appearances. I really don't care who goes out with whom. BUt if I see a handsome stud walking arm and arm with a beautiful woman, I don't give it much thought. But if I see an overweight man with a beautiful woman, I do wonder what he has or is, be that a great personality, money, a great lover, smart, power, success. It may be that that particular woman is a chubby chaser, but I assume he must have something else going for him. I tip my hat to him and give him all kudos, but this is still prejudice. Harmless prejudice, maybe, but prejudice all the same. I don't wonder about the same things for the fit guy, so why for the overweight guy?

Maybe not the same here in Thailand as it is not something that crossed my mind before, but 'back home' if a guy could make a woman laugh and be a man with some charm and a man who understands how to treat a woman ( not financially either ), he would win the day over most 'grumpy / miserable people be they fat or thin.

[F1fanatic]

OK, can I ask a question here - a lot has been said about 'why Thai girls like fat blokes' ya da da da - and many of you are saying it must be the money - and yet the fitter ones are convinced its because of their looks that the girls like them. Apart from that being more than a tad vain, the question is 'How do you know its you she likes (or your body if you must) and not YOUR potential wallet?'

...and don't say because she told you so, because that's also what she told the fat guy too. Point is, you have no more idea if its true affection or gold digging than the next fellow, however fat - its just your vanity tells you your 'sacrifice' makes all the difference.

I know because the girls i dated always payed half of the costs. My wife pays half of everything too mortgage, electricity ect . So i know its not about money. I would not date a girl and always pay everything. I do this to make sure its not about the money.

So, if you did happen to go out with a girl that couldn't afford to pay half, then she's a gold digger? - and if the fat guy's date also paid half that means she isn't? Still not entirely convinced here, and I don't want to seem like I attacking you (which I'm not), but it still seems like either vanity or body snobbery that is prejudicing (non fat / non old / non ugly / whatever) people's views of other people's relationships. Its rather shallow and slightly bigoted in my view.

I believe we can all attract the wrong sort and the right sort and I truly think that, whilst people tend to be initially attracted by physical appearance, it is often the funny, confident, interesting guy that ends up with the girl long term regardless of whether he can do the ironing on his abs or not. Grabbing a hooker for a one night stand is a completely different kettle of fish, but when people get to know each other (especially in groups - at work, on courses, even on holidays), its often not the one you expect that gets the best looking girl in the end (if if she did work her way through the GI Joe's first).

Basically yes - if she won't pay half the costs - she's a gold digger. Forget 'not being able to affored to pay half' - decent women don't put themselves in that situation! We're talking dates here. As for a fat guy's date who paid half - when did you last see that happen???

[wolf5370]

......

Basically yes - if she won't pay half the costs - she's a gold digger. Forget 'not being able to affored to pay half' - decent women don't put themselves in that situation! We're talking dates here. As for a fat guy's date who paid half - when did you last see that happen???

Can't honestly say I've been on too many dates with fat blokes to know It was just a thought experiment - turning the tables, so to speak.

[MrHammer]

Not Thai-related, but have you ever seen the stunning knockouts marrying sumo wrestlers?  Appearances are not the only, nor even the main criteria that we use to form opinions on potential matches.  Many other factors trump media-driven ideals of beauty.

Social status is the key that trumps everything. That's why ugly people play the guitar. Or why girls want you when you're with another girl.

[wolf5370]

So, if you did happen to go out with a girl that couldn't afford to pay half, then she's a gold digger? - and if the fat guy's date also paid half that means she isn't? Still not entirely convinced here, and I don't want to seem like I attacking you (which I'm not), but it still seems like either vanity or body snobbery that is prejudicing (non fat / non old / non ugly / whatever) people's views of other people's relationships. Its rather shallow and slightly bigoted in my view.

I believe we can all attract the wrong sort and the right sort and I truly think that, whilst people tend to be initially attracted by physical appearance, it is often the funny, confident, interesting guy that ends up with the girl long term regardless of whether he can do the ironing on his abs or not. Grabbing a hooker for a one night stand is a completely different kettle of fish, but when people get to know each other (especially in groups - at work, on courses, even on holidays), its often not the one you expect that gets the best looking girl in the end (if if she did work her way through the GI Joe's first).

I don't think it is at all body-vanity, or at least misplaced body vanity, to say that most people are more attracted to fit/young/beautiful/handsome/healthy people.  And just because someone fit is saying that does not make it wishful thinking.  If people were not wired this way, then most of the beauty industry would go out of business, as would many gyms.

I think you missed what I meant - the point I was aiming for is how does a fit man know the Thai babe fancies him and not just his money? The same applies to the fat, bald, ugly etc etc etc guy. If the only reason is that fit guys are too 'sexy' or 'alluring' to attract gold-diggers then I don't buy it. In this regard, perhaps the not-fit guy is in a better position - at least he has a good idea that its his money she likes.

However, that is not to say that physical appearance is the only criteria.  It may be the initial or at least one of the first things from which we form an opinion, but other things tend to take over.  So while a fat man may be very attractive as a person and do much better with women than a fit guy who is a jerk, the fact of the matter is that if this great overweight guy and the jerky fit and handsome guy walked into the room together, most women would look to the jerk first. Of course, they may be leaving with the overweight guy, but their eye is first drawn to what we, as a society and as a species, deem attractive.

Exactly what I said I believe - initial attraction is visual (usually)

And we all make judgments based on appearances.  I really don't care who goes out with whom.  BUt if I see a handsome stud walking arm and arm with a beautiful woman, I don't give it much thought.  But if I see an overweight man with a beautiful woman, I do wonder what he has or is, be that a great personality, money, a great lover, smart, power, success.  It may be that that particular woman is a chubby chaser, but I assume he must have something else going for him.  I tip my hat to him and give him all kudos, but this is still prejudice.  Harmless prejudice, maybe, but prejudice all the same.  I don't wonder about the same things for the fit guy, so why for the overweight guy?

Because its more likely to be the case with the fat guy, but it may still be the case with the fit guy too - or indeed, not with that particular fat guy. Its all based on some internal odds calculation based on what we believe is true and a touch or prejudice and maybe even envy.

I'm just playing Devil's Advocate here really and a few thought experiments to get myself and hopefully some others thinking. Please don't take offence I'm not trying to be in anyway spiteful, just thought provoking.

My father is in his mid sixties, he has not much hair (thankfully male patter baldness runs in the female genes from the maternal grandfather and he had hair into his 80's - phew!) and looks his age (maybe a little more). He took my wife to a friend's restaurant in the UK (I was here in Thailand with the kids at the time and she was feeling a bit lonely). She told me later on Skype about the looks she got walking from the car park (a 5 minute walk to the restaurant) and then from customers inside too. They all assumed she was his young bride!

[F1fanatic]

So, if you did happen to go out with a girl that couldn't afford to pay half, then she's a gold digger? - and if the fat guy's date also paid half that means she isn't? Still not entirely convinced here, and I don't want to seem like I attacking you (which I'm not), but it still seems like either vanity or body snobbery that is prejudicing (non fat / non old / non ugly / whatever) people's views of other people's relationships. Its rather shallow and slightly bigoted in my view.

I believe we can all attract the wrong sort and the right sort and I truly think that, whilst people tend to be initially attracted by physical appearance, it is often the funny, confident, interesting guy that ends up with the girl long term regardless of whether he can do the ironing on his abs or not. Grabbing a hooker for a one night stand is a completely different kettle of fish, but when people get to know each other (especially in groups - at work, on courses, even on holidays), its often not the one you expect that gets the best looking girl in the end (if if she did work her way through the GI Joe's first).

I don't think it is at all body-vanity, or at least misplaced body vanity, to say that most people are more attracted to fit/young/beautiful/handsome/healthy people. And just because someone fit is saying that does not make it wishful thinking. If people were not wired this way, then most of the beauty industry would go out of business, as would many gyms.

I think you missed what I meant - the point I was aiming for is how does a fit man know the Thai babe fancies him and not just his money? The same applies to the fat, bald, ugly etc etc etc guy. If the only reason is that fit guys are too 'sexy' or 'alluring' to attract gold-diggers then I don't buy it. In this regard, perhaps the not-fit guy is in a better position - at least he has a good idea that its his money she likes.

However, that is not to say that physical appearance is the only criteria. It may be the initial or at least one of the first things from which we form an opinion, but other things tend to take over. So while a fat man may be very attractive as a person and do much better with women than a fit guy who is a jerk, the fact of the matter is that if this great overweight guy and the jerky fit and handsome guy walked into the room together, most women would look to the jerk first. Of course, they may be leaving with the overweight guy, but their eye is first drawn to what we, as a society and as a species, deem attractive.

Exactly what I said I believe - initial attraction is visual (usually)

And we all make judgments based on appearances. I really don't care who goes out with whom. BUt if I see a handsome stud walking arm and arm with a beautiful woman, I don't give it much thought. But if I see an overweight man with a beautiful woman, I do wonder what he has or is, be that a great personality, money, a great lover, smart, power, success. It may be that that particular woman is a chubby chaser, but I assume he must have something else going for him. I tip my hat to him and give him all kudos, but this is still prejudice. Harmless prejudice, maybe, but prejudice all the same. I don't wonder about the same things for the fit guy, so why for the overweight guy?

Because its more likely to be the case with the fat guy, but it may still be the case with the fit guy too - or indeed, not with that particular fat guy. Its all based on some internal odds calculation based on what we believe is true and a touch or prejudice and maybe even envy.

I'm just playing Devil's Advocate here really and a few thought experiments to get myself and hopefully some others thinking. Please don't take offence I'm not trying to be in anyway spiteful, just thought provoking.

My father is in his mid sixties, he has not much hair (thankfully male patter baldness runs in the female genes from the maternal grandfather and he had hair into his 80's - phew!) and looks his age (maybe a little more). He took my wife to a friend's restaurant in the UK (I was here in Thailand with the kids at the time and she was feeling a bit lonely). She told me later on Skype about the looks she got walking from the car park (a 5 minute walk to the restaurant) and then from customers inside too. They all assumed she was his young bride!

Which is why when it comes to farang men with young Thai women nobody dares to mention the truly awful truth. Young Thai women look far younger than their age (to Westerners)......

[MrHammer]

So, if you did happen to go out with a girl that couldn't afford to pay half, then she's a gold digger? - and if the fat guy's date also paid half that means she isn't? Still not entirely convinced here, and I don't want to seem like I attacking you (which I'm not), but it still seems like either vanity or body snobbery that is prejudicing (non fat / non old / non ugly / whatever) people's views of other people's relationships. Its rather shallow and slightly bigoted in my view.

I believe we can all attract the wrong sort and the right sort and I truly think that, whilst people tend to be initially attracted by physical appearance, it is often the funny, confident, interesting guy that ends up with the girl long term regardless of whether he can do the ironing on his abs or not. Grabbing a hooker for a one night stand is a completely different kettle of fish, but when people get to know each other (especially in groups - at work, on courses, even on holidays), its often not the one you expect that gets the best looking girl in the end (if if she did work her way through the GI Joe's first).

I don't think it is at all body-vanity, or at least misplaced body vanity, to say that most people are more attracted to fit/young/beautiful/handsome/healthy people.  And just because someone fit is saying that does not make it wishful thinking.  If people were not wired this way, then most of the beauty industry would go out of business, as would many gyms.

I think you missed what I meant - the point I was aiming for is how does a fit man know the Thai babe fancies him and not just his money? The same applies to the fat, bald, ugly etc etc etc guy. If the only reason is that fit guys are too 'sexy' or 'alluring' to attract gold-diggers then I don't buy it. In this regard, perhaps the not-fit guy is in a better position - at least he has a good idea that its his money she likes.

However, that is not to say that physical appearance is the only criteria.  It may be the initial or at least one of the first things from which we form an opinion, but other things tend to take over.  So while a fat man may be very attractive as a person and do much better with women than a fit guy who is a jerk, the fact of the matter is that if this great overweight guy and the jerky fit and handsome guy walked into the room together, most women would look to the jerk first. Of course, they may be leaving with the overweight guy, but their eye is first drawn to what we, as a society and as a species, deem attractive.

Exactly what I said I believe - initial attraction is visual (usually)

And we all make judgments based on appearances.  I really don't care who goes out with whom.  BUt if I see a handsome stud walking arm and arm with a beautiful woman, I don't give it much thought.  But if I see an overweight man with a beautiful woman, I do wonder what he has or is, be that a great personality, money, a great lover, smart, power, success.  It may be that that particular woman is a chubby chaser, but I assume he must have something else going for him.  I tip my hat to him and give him all kudos, but this is still prejudice.  Harmless prejudice, maybe, but prejudice all the same.  I don't wonder about the same things for the fit guy, so why for the overweight guy?

Because its more likely to be the case with the fat guy, but it may still be the case with the fit guy too - or indeed, not with that particular fat guy. Its all based on some internal odds calculation based on what we believe is true and a touch or prejudice and maybe even envy.

I'm just playing Devil's Advocate here really and a few thought experiments to get myself and hopefully some others thinking. Please don't take offence I'm not trying to be in anyway spiteful, just thought provoking.

My father is in his mid sixties, he has not much hair (thankfully male patter baldness runs in the female genes from the maternal grandfather and he had hair into his 80's - phew!) and looks his age (maybe a little more). He took my wife to a friend's restaurant in the UK (I was here in Thailand with the kids at the time and she was feeling a bit lonely). She told me later on Skype about the looks she got walking from the car park (a 5 minute walk to the restaurant) and then from customers inside too. They all assumed she was his young bride!

The best way to know is to use the good old 'Coming To America' trick. Tell her you're a goat herd!

[britmaveric]

^that's a good thing. However when thai birds hit a certain age - turn instantly old.

[wolf5370]

^that's a good thing. However when thai birds hit a certain age - turn instantly old.

Yeah, like their genes just have an on off switch where our are on a dimmer

[IanForbes]

Good grief, what a load of twaddle! You start off by saying that you don't care about prostitution or drugs as they're not illegal, and even if they were, its no business of yours. You go on to say that people picking their nose, farting or belching in public or wearing inappropriate clothes will be seen as ignorant (presumably unlike those who are into prostitution or drugs).

You then go onto say that people who disapprove of old men with bar girls should stay away from that scene. Please explain to me, precisely how? The easy answer is 'don't go to bars' - but why should normal people with feelings of revulsion (the normal feeling from their own cultural background) be excluded from the equivalent to a pub here? Let's not forget that its not 'a difference in culture' as its always an old farang male with a younger Thai woman - never an older Thai male with a etc. etc.!

And where on earth did you get the idea of "the morally righteous who went to well known nud_e beaches and then acted like it was somebody elses fault that there were all these nud_e people walking around and enjoying themselves". Its certainly not something I've ever seen!!

Maybe you misunderstood me. What other people do doesn't concern me at all if it doesn't affect me. I've seen so much strange behaviour that I just ignore it. However, I can tell pretty quickly if I might find someone interesting or not. I don't care for loutish behaviour wherever it occurs and I'll just ignore people who don't act in ways that appeal to me. I don't drink to excess, so I normally stay away from people who do. What they choose to do is entirely up to themselves if it doesn't affect me. The bars with the gals for hire are not places for the self righteous to visit unless they INTENTIONALLY want to be affronted. There are plenty of other places to drink. Why go to the Pattaya strip bars and get annoyed with what is going on?

And, I don't have any knowledge about some fat old guy sitting with a lovely young gal. She could be his daughter or niece for all I know, so I hardly give it any thought. I keep repeating myself when I say that any deal worked out between two adults should be nobody's business but the two participants. People (and that includes the government) should keep their noses out of other people's private lives.

And, I'm telling the truth about the nudists beaches and the self righteous who take objection. I don't know of any public nudist beach in Thailand because I believe it is illegal, but there are a few places where a few tourists go topless. But, we do have many public nud_e beaches in Canada, and Australia. And, yes, I've seen all sorts of frumpy people object. They never even knew the places existed until it was publicised, but then they came came down to protest when they found out. I've got all sorts of funny tales to tell about my experiences there. I've even got a few photos that I can't obviously post.