'expats' And Delusion

[michaelbutcher]

Having lived in Thailand for enough time to enable a fair evaluation of the types of people who choose to live here (Thailand) rather than there (their 'home countries') and have found for the most part, they seem to feel in some way more intrepid, or, less racist (as some poor delusional woman sought to convince herself, on another thread somewhere), than their home country counterparts.

I'm here for the weather and the food (not the 'culture' ...), but some back home choose to put up with the endless cold rain in return for being able to visit galleries, theatres, proper stand up comedy, proper pubs, clubs etc.

After the initial warm, fluffy feeling toward their fellow expats and locals has worn off, most of them would prefer to stay within the confines of their gated community, moo baan giving barely a nod or 'good morning' to their fellow ex compatriots, having realised that the people they meet actually living here are either straight out of a French and Saunders skit (pass the bacardi breezer/can of chang), El Dorado soap (congenitally chav/colonel blimp), or having not been able to fully embrace the diametrically opposed culture or mix thereof, profoundly neurotic, aka lost the plot.

I do from time to time come across some interesting chaps here, but they all say the same thing - they'd prefer to stay at home as unless you're up to a night out at the local karaoke/gogo bar, there's nothing else here. Is there?

Edited September 21, 2009 by michaelbutcher

[carmine]

A very interesting observation. I think you are right in many cases. I started life here on Samui and whilst currently still here, yearn to live in Bangkok or Chiang Mai. Coming back for regular visits to Samui is the answer for me, but my homebase would be on of the cities. They offer so much more to do.

But, at the end of the day, each to their own. However, island life is just not quite for me!

[lovelomsak]

First I would like to say very good post.

I came to Thailand since 1991 on holidays I loved the country.Everything was well within my comfort zone and cheap. Before Istarted coming here I was a Mexico vacationer. This beat Mexico hands down.

Now I have lived here 3 years and love it even more but cannot stand the foreigners here.

So many come here but donot want to be here I think. They come for cheap lifestyle and to be honest I think sex is the big draw for them.So many losers playing they are big shots.These guys donot want Thailand they just want to use and abuse it.Many want their foreign food, foreign homes,power for being white big nose people,they want to be revered.

Where else can lowlifes go and get such treatment.

Now I donot even give the time of day to most foreigners.

Edited September 21, 2009 by lovelomsak

[Samuian]

I live and work on Samui for the past 20 years

and must say - a day just doesn't seem to have enough hours..

..it's probably very much about what one does, Karaoke and Girly twirly

seems certainly the more boring entertainment one could go for -

looks most of the time that there is a must - boredom results out of not

satisfied expectations... well, well, well and here is sooooooooooo much

more to do out there.

[lannarebirth]

And what observations can you glean when looking in a mirror?

[KevinBloodyWilson]

Good post, and good responses. I too wonder about the expats, I don't bother with most of them for a variety of reasons, chief among which is that I am not here for the same reason they are (fill in your own blanks here).

As for complaining, well, we all do that in one way or another. It is natural to want to bring about what we believe are improvements in our adopted home country. Giving a dam_n is important, so I personally give a dam_n. There is a lot that could improve, but what really irks me is the exploitation and injustice. I don't like to see blatant and rampant exploitation or injustice, they both rob us all of human dignity, but Thais do love to get power and then they feel obliged to exercise it - usually at the direct expense of one of their Thai 'brothers or sisters'. 'Thai unity' is the call, and the call is always bogus, what they really mean is 'Thai conformity'. Hypocrisy and humbuggery should be countered wherever it is found, and there is quite a lot to be found in Thailand.

Never-the-less, nobody forces me to stay here. if and when the balance of pro's and con's dips below equity I will be gone.

Edited September 21, 2009 by KevinBloodyWilson

[rabcbroon]

First I would like to say very good post.

I came to Thailand since 1991 on holidays I loved the country.Everything was well within my comfort zone and cheap. Before Istarted coming here I was a Mexico vacationer. This beat Mexico hands down.

Now I have lived here 3 years and love it even more but cannot stand the foreigners here.

So many come here but donot want to be here I think. They come for cheap lifestyle and to be honest I think sex is the big draw for them.So many losers playing they are big shots.These guys donot want Thailand they just want to use and abuse it.Many want their foreign food, foreign homes,power for being white big nose people,they want to be revered.

Where else can lowlifes go and get such treatment.

Now I donot even give the time of day to most foreigners.

You sound just the type of judgemental, self rightious individual most expats seek to avoid. I wouldnt worry about giving your fellow expats the time of day as if they know your disposition then I am sure they wouldnt give you a kind look.

PS. OP an excellent post

Edited September 21, 2009 by rabcbroon

[Bananaman]

Not being a drinker or frequenter of venues awash with ladies of the night, I often struggled to meet expats of a similar mindset during my 7 years in the country. It does seem that if you are anything other than a walking cliché, that you don't really fit in on the local expat scene. It's not impossible, however, to find those with interests other than beer and bar girls; certainly not in Chiang Mai, where a local amateur dramatic scene is now flourishing and art and classical music scenes have been established for some time. If you aren't into either scenes then perhaps metaphysical pursuits are what floats your boat...again CM has an abundance of those. Life in LOS, is definitely what you make it, certainly in the cities.

[KevinBloodyWilson]

First I would like to say very good post.

I came to Thailand since 1991 on holidays I loved the country.Everything was well within my comfort zone and cheap. Before Istarted coming here I was a Mexico vacationer. This beat Mexico hands down.

Now I have lived here 3 years and love it even more but cannot stand the foreigners here.

So many come here but donot want to be here I think. They come for cheap lifestyle and to be honest I think sex is the big draw for them.So many losers playing they are big shots.These guys donot want Thailand they just want to use and abuse it.Many want their foreign food, foreign homes,power for being white big nose people,they want to be revered.

Where else can lowlifes go and get such treatment.

Now I donot even give the time of day to most foreigners.

You sound just the type of judgemental, self rightious individual most expats seek to avoid. I wouldnt worry about giving your fellow expats the time of day as if they know your disposition then I am sure they wouldnt give you a kind look.

PS. OP an excellent post

Ouch! Something hit home!

Edited September 21, 2009 by KevinBloodyWilson

[KevinBloodyWilson]

Not being a drinker or frequenter of venues awash with ladies of the night, I often struggled to meet expats of a similar mindset during my 7 years in the country. It does seem that if you are anything other than a walking cliché, that you don't really fit in on the local expat scene. It's not impossible, however, to find those with interests other than beer and bar girls; certainly not in Chiang Mai, where a local amateur dramatic scene is now flourishing and art and classical music scenes have been established for some time. If you aren't into either scenes then perhaps metaphysical pursuits are what floats your boat...again CM has an abundance of those. Life in LOS, is definitely what you make it, certainly in the cities.

That's interesting, I have been thinking of moving to CM. CHeers.

[rabcbroon]

First I would like to say very good post.

I came to Thailand since 1991 on holidays I loved the country.Everything was well within my comfort zone and cheap. Before Istarted coming here I was a Mexico vacationer. This beat Mexico hands down.

Now I have lived here 3 years and love it even more but cannot stand the foreigners here.

So many come here but donot want to be here I think. They come for cheap lifestyle and to be honest I think sex is the big draw for them.So many losers playing they are big shots.These guys donot want Thailand they just want to use and abuse it.Many want their foreign food, foreign homes,power for being white big nose people,they want to be revered.

Where else can lowlifes go and get such treatment.

Now I donot even give the time of day to most foreigners.

You sound just the type of judgemental, self rightious individual most expats seek to avoid. I wouldnt worry about giving your fellow expats the time of day as if they know your disposition then I am sure they wouldnt give you a kind look.

PS. OP an excellent post

Ouch! Something hit home!

Funnily enough I agree with a lot of what he said - just not the way he puts himself above all foreigners and paints them with such a broad brush. Nobodys perfect

[joskydive]

Why does it bother you? I'm sure every ex-pat has his/her own reasons for choosing to live here rather than their home country and it's quite possible that they are living the same way as they would like to in their home country too but maybe, can't afford it there. Others maybe have no ties, commitments or even family in their own country and just chose to live in the climate of their choice.

I love to see the retirees here who look like they have a new lease of life and can enjoy it in the warmth of the company they choose and the heat of the day. It's also a far better option for some whose families are just waiting for them to retire at 65 so they can shove them in an old peoples home somewhere so they can sell the house and not even bother to visit again. How about that option after you've worked all your life.

[CobraSnakeNecktie]

There is a lot of variety of expats but in general I get the sense that people who bail out of their native lands will tend to be bitter and critical of their home countries due to lack of success etc. If things are going well on a financial and personal level then why leave for a foreign land? They set off for new starts and in the beginning are overly positive about the new location. They might even go out of their way to convince people(on websites etc) how much better the new country is than their old country. At this point they are in the earlier denial stages.

Unfortunately over time these expats realize they are repeating the same pattern of unsuccessful results and become discontent and increasingly bitter and critical all over again in the new country. Often they become bitter and critical on websites or to anyone who will listen to them. It's a vicious cycle that will be repeated over and over until they reprogram their subconscious self beliefs.

[KevinBloodyWilson]

Funnily enough I agree with a lot of what he said - just not the way he puts himself above all foreigners and paints them with such a broad brush. Nobodys perfect

Sadly the message was somewhat diluted by the hubris. Seemed like someone scratched at an old wound of some kind.

[patklang]

Maybe its you who is the crazy one.Anywhere in the world we chose who we have as friends and Thailand is no different.I have many expat friends here and long time tourists,and if they were horrible people then i would not be friends with them.Very rich and average friends all mix in and iw ouldnt swap them for you at any cost.

bye bye

[KevinBloodyWilson]

There is a lot of variety of expats but in general I get the sense that people who bail out of their native lands will tend to be bitter and critical of their home countries due to lack of success etc. If things are going well on a financial and personal level then why leave for a foreign land? They set off for new starts and in the beginning are overly positive about the new location. They might even go out of their way to convince people(on websites etc) how much better the new country is than their old country. At this point they are in the earlier denial stages.

Unfortunately over time these expats realize they are repeating the same pattern of unsuccessful results and become discontent and increasingly bitter and critical all over again in the new country. Often they become bitter and critical on websites or to anyone who will listen to them. It's a vicious cycle that will be repeated over and over until they reprogram their subconscious self beliefs.

I know that this would apply to many but it cannot become a generalisation. For example, when I came here I left a 100,000UKP job as in interim management to retire early. I have very few regrets but it would be nice to see a few changes here and I believe that Thais would benefit more from those changes than ex-pats would.

[KevinBloodyWilson]

Maybe its you who is the crazy one.Anywhere in the world we chose who we have as friends and Thailand is no different.I have many expat friends here and long time tourists,and if they were horrible people then i would not be friends with them.Very rich and average friends all mix in and iw ouldnt swap them for you at any cost.

bye bye

Not sure who you were talking to but of course you are right. Generally we pick friends on the basis of them being like us and having similar opinions and values. That would mean that horrid people gravitate towards other horrid people, something we will all have seen happen.

Gad you have so many friends.

[rabcbroon]

Funnily enough I agree with a lot of what he said - just not the way he puts himself above all foreigners and paints them with such a broad brush. Nobodys perfect

Sadly the message was somewhat diluted by the hubris. Seemed like someone scratched at an old wound of some kind.

The epitome of humbris is Lovesomsaks post - no?

Edited September 21, 2009 by rabcbroon

[patklang]

There is a lot of variety of expats but in general I get the sense that people who bail out of their native lands will tend to be bitter and critical of their home countries due to lack of success etc. If things are going well on a financial and personal level then why leave for a foreign land? They set off for new starts and in the beginning are overly positive about the new location. They might even go out of their way to convince people(on websites etc) how much better the new country is than their old country. At this point they are in the earlier denial stages.

Unfortunately over time these expats realize they are repeating the same pattern of unsuccessful results and become discontent and increasingly bitter and critical all over again in the new country. Often they become bitter and critical on websites or to anyone who will listen to them. It's a vicious cycle that will be repeated over and over until they reprogram their subconscious self beliefs.

WHAT A LOAD OF TWADDLE

The whole reason i am here is because i was a very successful National Sales Manager,and was able to save big money and invest in property and retirement funds.I find your post astonishing and maybe you are talking about yourself,but every single one of my friends are successful in their own fields and all have retired early in Thailand for

nicer weather gives better health generaly

beautiful women

gf/wives here

opened a business here

retired early due to relaxation

wanted to pay gold all week

a bad relationship

tired of western women

i could go on all night as to why people retire early so maybe you could ad on your 10 penny worth.

[samuibeachcomber]

Why does it bother you? I'm sure every ex-pat has his/her own reasons for choosing to live here rather than their home country and it's quite possible that they are living the same way as they would like to in their home country too but maybe, can't afford it there. Others maybe have no ties, commitments or even family in their own country and just chose to live in the climate of their choice.

I love to see the retirees here who look like they have a new lease of life and can enjoy it in the warmth of the company they choose and the heat of the day. It's also a far better option for some whose families are just waiting for them to retire at 65 so they can shove them in an old peoples home somewhere so they can sell the house and not even bother to visit again. How about that option after you've worked all your life.

i love this reply,and concur whole heartedly.

[rabcbroon]

Wanted to pay gold all week - a very Freudian slip indeed

above from patklangs post

Edited September 21, 2009 by rabcbroon

[patklang]

Why does it bother you? I'm sure every ex-pat has his/her own reasons for choosing to live here rather than their home country and it's quite possible that they are living the same way as they would like to in their home country too but maybe, can't afford it there. Others maybe have no ties, commitments or even family in their own country and just chose to live in the climate of their choice.

I love to see the retirees here who look like they have a new lease of life and can enjoy it in the warmth of the company they choose and the heat of the day. It's also a far better option for some whose families are just waiting for them to retire at 65 so they can shove them in an old peoples home somewhere so they can sell the house and not even bother to visit again. How about that option after you've worked all your life.

Thats a lovely post Josky,nice to here a lady not tarring every guy with the same brush.Brings me back to a conversation i had with my son about the uk will and he was having a dig at me for being 1,000,000 baht down on stocks and shares lol.I kept mytemper becaus i love him to death but he obviously thinking about how much money he will get on my death,such is life.

Do you think i should spend it all hehehehehehe,now that would be nasty

[patklang]

Wanted to pay gold all week - a very Freudian slip indeed

above from patklangs post

HEHEHEHEHEHEH

i meant golf but maybe one or two of my mates could play with gold all day lol

Edited September 21, 2009 by patklang

[patklang]

Maybe its you who is the crazy one.Anywhere in the world we chose who we have as friends and Thailand is no different.I have many expat friends here and long time tourists,and if they were horrible people then i would not be friends with them.Very rich and average friends all mix in and iw ouldnt swap them for you at any cost.

bye bye

Not sure who you were talking to but of course you are right. Generally we pick friends on the basis of them being like us and having similar opinions and values. That would mean that horrid people gravitate towards other horrid people, something we will all have seen happen.

Gad you have so many friends.

Thanks Kev,and the post was for the op.Good friends are worth their weight in gold and makes living very wonderful.also i think i am a great guy but have a bad temper sometimes,but not to friends.A good judge of character is useful in a strange country too and that includes my thai friends,but overall my 6 years stay has given me realy good mates.

[Jingthing]

How about this for another goofball generalization about human beings.

There are two kinds of expats in Thailand:

1. Those who realize each one is an individual with their own unique life story

2. Those who feel the need to put all of them into some kind of pidgeonhole based on superficial appearances

[joskydive]

Do you think i should spend it all hehehehehehe,now that would be nasty

Now that's naughty! but the choice is still yours.

[patklang]

Do you think i should spend it all hehehehehehe,now that would be nasty

Now that's naughty! but the choice is still yours.

Fncy a round the world trip with me then hehehehehe,but dont forget the sexy mask lol

[KarenBravo]

Thailand's great if you are a natural born sociopath like myself.

Have some sympathy. We just want to be left alone.

[sabaijai]

[MrHammer]

There is a lot of variety of expats but in general I get the sense that people who bail out of their native lands will tend to be bitter and critical of their home countries due to lack of success etc. If things are going well on a financial and personal level then why leave for a foreign land? They set off for new starts and in the beginning are overly positive about the new location. They might even go out of their way to convince people(on websites etc) how much better the new country is than their old country. At this point they are in the earlier denial stages.

Unfortunately over time these expats realize they are repeating the same pattern of unsuccessful results and become discontent and increasingly bitter and critical all over again in the new country. Often they become bitter and critical on websites or to anyone who will listen to them. It's a vicious cycle that will be repeated over and over until they reprogram their subconscious self beliefs.

Or they learn and change.. they just find that they have more success in their new country, so they become happier and more resourcefull people. If they were to go back they would likely have a lot more success than before, but after two weeks of rain and cold, most have had enough and return to their tropical paradise.

Personally, I can't stand the cold and wet climate of northern Europe, it's also too expensive, too many taxes, and a decent lifestyle requires putting in LOTS of hours.

I'm definetly not here for the culture or temples, I came here for the climate, the travel, the girls and the cheap cost of living and it's worked out fine, yet I'll be looking for a real job in Korea/Japan/States soon.