The reason I asked this question is that in the compound I live in, most of the western girls don't talk to me or even say hello.

Their husbands do, the Thai and Indians, female and male do.

But they just do not do it, they turn their head when I come close to them (there are a few exceptions, of course )

I'm the only expat with a Thai wife on this compound and well, an easy guess is that they just do not like the fact that I have a wife from Thailand.

But it makes me wonder, do you, western women, feel "threatened" by Thai women and just can't accept that a westerner is married to a Thai woman?

I find it silly, but well...

Umm why if the women are ignoreing you, a western man, would you assume it has something to do with you having a thai wife?

Maybe it's just a vibe you give off & nothing to do with your wife. But I think it's very offensive to your wife to think that & odd in the extreme that you would automatically assume that it was to do with her.!! And that you feel the need to "justify" your wife by making daft assumptions about other women . I find it very silly, but well....

Speaking as a western women married to a thai man, no, in all my years in Thailand & of all the couples I have witnessed I find nothing of any western man/thai women couples to feel jealous about. Hope that helps put your idea to rest

Maybe it's just a vibe you give off & nothing to do with your wife. But I think it's very offensive to your wife to think that & odd in the extreme that you would automatically assume that it was to do with her.!! And that you feel the need to "justify" your wife by making daft assumptions about other women

I'd like it to be daft but I'm actually not that sure, hence this thread

But why is the bad vibe only received by some of the western women on the compound?

Or well, maybe you've got a point, I maybe do not look as friendly to some of the farang girls as I should...

Or maybe western women just don't feel the need to smile at all & sundry. I can't see a reason they should tbh. Suggest you just get on with your life & let them be with theirs.

Prejudice seems to be pretty much everywhere evenly or unevenly. I try to understand it and personally it doesn't bother me that much. In fact, I have experienced the exact opposite when on temporary accommodation in a farang men/Thai women only area. The guys would be friendly and say hi to me, their foxy young girls would get annoyed by my presence despite the fact that I am older, look quite plain compared to them and don't usually dress to impress. I have never felt envious of Thai women with western men. I usually bond with both of them and they both find me good company. In general I admire mixed race relationships for trying to blend with each other's culture. Besides, I wouldn't certainly look for a farang boyfriend in Thailand and more precisely in Pattaya I don't think. It would be difficult to find a guy interested unless he was a non-farang. Saying that I know of several farang couples, some of them long term that are no longer together because of a Thai woman but also of many others that happily come to marry here and start a family without interference.

Hmmm most farang male/female seem to avoid one another, so dont think it has anything to do with being female. However have you made an effort to say hello and make small talk?

But they just do not do it, they turn their head when I come close to them (there are a few exceptions, of course )

A significant clue here?

Perhaps you give off an uncomfortable "vibe" to those who you decide are NOT the "exception"?

Made me shudder a little anyway.

Patrick

Saying that I know of several farang couples, some of them long term that are no longer together because of a Thai woman

Indeed Ave, but you also know of several farang couples that are no longer together because of another farang girl or well, just because they can't live together anymore.

I'm actually exaggerating quite a bit the situation, as you said prejudice is everywhere and it is sure not limited to western women.

And I hope she will not read that but my wife is not really the young foxy type...

Edited September 22, 200916 yr by Farangrakthai

I would have thought it was more likely, That a thai woman would feel more threatened by another thai woman.

Hmmm most farang male/female seem to avoid one another

Not on a compound with mostly foreigners, Brit.

But anyway, you're maybe right, my wife was friend with the Canadian girls and Mexican girls on the compound but I never met their husband.

Not interested.

And they probably could feel it.

But is saying hello that difficult?

Hello!!

Saying that I know of several farang couples, some of them long term that are no longer together because of a Thai woman

Indeed Ave, but you also know of several farang couples that are no longer together because of another farang girl or well, just because they can't live together anymore.

I'm actually exaggerating quite a bit the situation, as you said prejudice is everywhere and it is sure not limited to western women.

And I hope she will not read that but my wife is not really the young foxy type...

I'm sure your wife is foxy enough for you..!

Yes, I agree with the fact that when the relationship is destined to end, betrayal or finding immediately another partner after splitting seems to me just the tip of a thick iceberg hiding deeper motives. Or perhaps it's a new love destined to blossom, that happens a lot too.

Going back to your point, the other posters are right in my opinion. Just because you are farang and them too it doesn't mean that they have to be friendly with you but you can keep that smile going. It's good to create a friendly atmosphere but you can't force people to do do the same.

In my apartment block there are two or three western men who live with their long term Thai girlfriends and wives. The rest are all Thai. They initially looked quite uncomfortable whey they saw me but I kept saying hello to them very casually. I wondered why I would greet them while I didn't make an effort with the Thais when it's usually the opposite.

I realised that by greeting them it's like saying to them that I don't have anything against them having Thai partners (and why should I anyway!) Some sort of implicit empathy from my part, although I know it's not necessary, I risk of patronising them. Well, it's been a year now and they greet me first when we meet. Sometimes it takes time for people to warm up to us.

Just because you are farang and them too it doesn't mean that they have to be friendly with you

Indeed, but it does not mean they have to be unfriendly.

Or should I say, polite.

When I say hello to somebody, I usually smile, and I expect the people I say hello to, to reply, with or without the smile.

Not always the case, and as much as I hate to say it in this forum, it is usually a western woman.

On the compound I live in, that is.

Where you find 0.0001% of the western women living in Thailand, so not really a scientific evidence

Edited September 22, 200916 yr by Farangrakthai

Curious. You keep referring to the compound. Makes me suspect you live in Saudi or some such place? Or you live in a farang ghetto in Thailand?

Anyway, it seems to me, that if the women were going to dis you for the sake of your wife's nationality then they would also do the same with her. Perhaps its you? Maybe there is some nasty rumor going around about you that no one is willing to tell. Maybe you did something that pissed people off and don't even realize it? Maybe, just maybe, its about you and not about her.

Could it also be that perhaps you are making assumptions about what people mean and in doing so, give off a negative and unfriendly attitude?

A suggestion, instead of assuming nastiness, why not make the effort to be friendly and see if that changes things?

And no, I am not threatened by Thai women, in fact, the nastiest behavior I've encountered was from two Thai women who were seemed threatened by me, making comments about how obviously Thai women weren't good enough for my Thai husband.

Just because you are farang and them too it doesn't mean that they have to be friendly with you

Indeed, but it does not mean they have to be unfriendly.

Or should I say, polite.

When I say hello to somebody, I usually smile, and I expect the people I say hello to, to reply, with or without the smile.

Not always the case, and as much as I hate to say it in this forum, it is usually a western woman.

On the compound I live in, that is.

Where you find 0.0001% of the western women living in Thailand, so not really a scientific evidence

"Usually a western woman.." well, I could say the same about western men if you want me to say that but I won't, I don't have an issue with this women v men issue.

I don't expect everyone to say hello back to me, especially from those who come from big cities where neighbours never get to see or acknoledge each other. In many 'farang' cities almost everyone is a stranger but you can experience this in Bangkok too. Just looking happy and smiling at people on public transport for example would make people assume I'm a freak. I tried it a few times, it's lots of fun!

A lot of us westerners are brought up not to trust anyone, some of us walk around with a frown, we can look so serious sometimes that we come across as being rude. I have tuned into what counts to me and whoever wants to tune into that frequency the more the merrier but I don't have expectations from neighbours or people who are not even aquaintances. Simply live and let live.

Have you thought of moving to a different area where you feel these issues don't have an opportunity to arise..?

Curious. You keep referring to the compound.

Many foreigners, and not only westerners, live in what can be called a compound in Thailand, SBK, i.e. a place with a certain number of houses or appartements "protected" by some kind of security making the access for "outsiders", if not forbidden, at least controlled.

Japanese are very fond of it but they're not the only ones.

And it indeed is part of the problem...

Edited September 22, 200916 yr by Farangrakthai

Edited September 22, 200916 yr by Ave

Have you thought of moving to a different area where you feel these issues don't have an opportunity to arise..?

Frankly, they're the ones missing out the interaction, Ave.

And staying in their farang world in Thailand.

What they do with me, they do it with the rest of the Thais/Thai Indians on the "compound" (I'll call it village from now on)

They should move to a farang place if they want to be happier, maybe.

Or out of Thailand.

And I agree it is not farang girls only, quite a few farang men have a few things to learn also...

Edited September 22, 200916 yr by Farangrakthai

What they do with me, they do it with the rest of the Thais/Thai Indians on the "compound" (I'll call it village from now on)

You said they only do it to you cause you have a thai wife, so if they do it to the others too then this clearly can't be the case can it. So then how did you reach the conclusion that it was because you have a thai wife.?

Quite frankly this smacks of trolling to me.

They should move to a farang place if they want to be happier, maybe.

Or out of Thailand.

"They". Who the western women who dont' smile at you? Who says they arne't happy where they are already, only you seem to be upset by them.

It has taken me some time to accept that most of what happens near us and to us is a reflection of our life state at the time and that we can rarely blame others for our circumstances. Well, at least by believing so, whether I'm right or not in this way I make an effort to change that life state of mine for the better every day.

So, let me get this straight. You moved into a secure "compound" that is almost exclusively foreigners and are now complaining about said foreigners and their unwillingness to mix with Thais. Hmmm.

And, I might add, then using said complaints to target western women.

Agree with Boo on this one, it does appear to be a sad attempt at trolling in the ladies forum.

The reason I asked this question is that in the compound I live in, most of the western girls don't talk to me or even say hello.

Their husbands do, the Thai and Indians, female and male do.

But they just do not do it, they turn their head when I come close to them (there are a few exceptions, of course )

I'm the only expat with a Thai wife on this compound and well, an easy guess is that they just do not like the fact that I have a wife from Thailand.

But it makes me wonder, do you, western women, feel "threatened" by Thai women and just can't accept that a westerner is married to a Thai woman?

I find it silly, but well...

It's nothing to do with your having a Thai wife. Western women will not give you the time of day unless they find you attractive or want something from you. Thai women will say hello and smile, even if they have no interest in you at all, because being polite and charming is important to them; how you feel means nothing to Western women, and they don't care what you think of them (unless they find you attractive or want something from you).

And Kent, I am sure he is thanking you so much for taking the bait.

You can take your nastiness elsewhere thanks, this is not acceptable in the ladies forum.

//CLOSED//

Curious. You keep referring to the compound.

Many foreigners, and not only westerners, live in what can be called a compound in Thailand, SBK, i.e. a place with a certain number of houses or appartements "protected" by some kind of security making the access for "outsiders", if not forbidden, at least controlled.

Japanese are very fond of it but they're not the only ones.

And it indeed is part of the problem...

Another joker.