chriswatson Posted October 5, 2009 Share Posted October 5, 2009 Not if you walk backwards. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mca Posted October 5, 2009 Share Posted October 5, 2009 And just how would that make a difference chris? You'd still have a Charlie And The Chocolate Factory type scenario in your kecks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garry9999 Posted October 5, 2009 Share Posted October 5, 2009 This tread really as gone to the toilet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Petsma Posted October 5, 2009 Share Posted October 5, 2009 Don't drink and ride the bike......its just not worth it (wear a helmet).Live and let live If a random starnger tells you numerous times he has been in the SAS or Mafia.....he is probably lying and living in cuckoo land I agree with these three. I'll add: Live far away from other "farangs". A little bit racist towards all foreigners living in Thailand don't you think? If you hate them so much why join an expat forum you tool. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clinique Posted October 5, 2009 Share Posted October 5, 2009 Toilets south of the 60th parallel and north of Mexico are free, plentiful, and cleaner than many Thai public toilets. You can walk 300 meters in a fancy Thai mall before finding a toilet. Only 300metres, you obviously havent been to Central KadsuanKeauw in Chiangmai.... They have toilets there? Yes but they're in the far corners by the car park, about 289 steps from Sizzler, if you can find them. Plan ahead. They do also have better (nicer) ones way in the back of Central Store, cant remember if they are on every floor.. still about the same distance,,,mind you could take longer having to push your way thru ALL the shoppers ..!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justcruisin Posted October 5, 2009 Share Posted October 5, 2009 Don't rub your eyes after eating som tam. Also don't go to the toilet if your a guy,whilst making thai food. I learnt the hard way...twice!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PST Posted October 5, 2009 Share Posted October 5, 2009 Be wary when asking thais for directions,rather than say they don't know,they will point you in any direction so as not to lose face. Does my head in that one. PST. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
surangw Posted October 5, 2009 Share Posted October 5, 2009 De Gaulle In order to become the master, the politician poses as the servant Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
surangw Posted October 5, 2009 Share Posted October 5, 2009 Don't rub your eyes after eating som tam. And wash your hands before touching any pink bits.... especially your own. especially after eating som tam. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IanForbes Posted October 5, 2009 Share Posted October 5, 2009 This thread has been fun. It seems a lot of us have similar problems. Thais have grown up being able to squat for ages. After about 2 minutes of squating my knees start to sieze up. I think even the Thais have come to enjoy the western style toilets. Too bad most western bathrooms don't come with a spray hose by the toilet. It would help some of us who have a furry butt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EvilDrSomkid Posted October 5, 2009 Share Posted October 5, 2009 I like these threads that turn into a fun filled topic of scatology. LMFAO I have also learned the painful way to NEVER EVER sprinkle chilli powder with my fingers again. And then go for a leak with sweaty balls. "thirak, are you OK?" followed by gales of laughter... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EvilDrSomkid Posted October 5, 2009 Share Posted October 5, 2009 Could you tell your wife with all due respects from me I sincerely appreciate the fact that Thai toilets are plentiful and free but that's not much reassurance when you're staring down the loo at last night's spicy pork with basil with no tissue and a water gun that's drier than the Gobi desert. I told her mca....................She said your experience is still not as bad as hers when travelling through isolated national Parks in Canada and USA, where toilets were smelly one-holer's over a pit full of shit. That freaked her out so much she vomitted................Thank God for Thailand she opined! MrDirk, BTDT, except there was no paper and the bum gum was wet, but the little plastic handle you need to press was broken off. That's when you find out how strong your thumb can be. btw, was it muu yang with naam djim muu? Love that stuff, but does build serious gaseous anal discharge. mca, you have obviously never been to an Ozzie outback dunny which is INFESTED with huge <deleted> off spiders catching all the flies attracted to the moisture. Also a hole in the ground. I decided to skip the crap and keep going another 186kms to the next motel room thank you. At extralegal speed, of course. And peaceblondie, what's wrong with driving a big block V8? Besides the gas guzzling and pollution? Love the noise. Gives me goose bumps. Having 400ci V8 in Thailand would seriously kickass. Massive bragging rights down the local. Not that I want one, I have become more civilized and drive a 260hp 5cylinder turbo car. And its not a f*cken Volvo. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IanForbes Posted October 5, 2009 Share Posted October 5, 2009 Most of us have seen this one... But here is one for us "old folks" who can't trust a fart. At least you can sit down on the go. And the paper doesn't feel like this... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tinkelbell Posted October 5, 2009 Share Posted October 5, 2009 MrDirk's quoted....... Her reaction: "Toilets are very bad in Europe and North America. Especially Europe, where you have to pay to use them, and very expensive also. At least in Thailand toilets are plentiful and free, especially on major roadways" ....................................................................... Could you ask your wife.....what part of the USA that she had her bad toilet experience. I'm a Thai, who have been living in the States more than 20+ yr. For many years I had been driving to all different parts of the US, taking my children to complete in The State Tennis Tournament, we always passing through high way, small towns, and dozens times had using the facilities at the campground, or rest stop area, always impressed with the clean-mordern and well lit toilet and never paid a dime. Even my Thai friends who once tagged along on one of those trips , remarked that they love the US because of the clean toilets everywhere. Yes, in EU you have to pay a small change to use the toilet. I once paid to use a public portable in Madrid, Spain. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ijustwannateach Posted October 6, 2009 Share Posted October 6, 2009 Lesson learned: if you don't know where you're going, don't depend on anyone else to know how to get there either- especially anyone involved in transportation!!! After you've tried your own native language and their own native language, other languages are even less likely to work. It's never the wrong time or the wrong place for a traffic jam. I no longer try to avoid the people who wish to hurt themselves walking into me unless they are children, the elderly, or the genuinely blind. Smiling often helps. Trying to wai the right people the right way makes a good impression (and if you get it wrong that's still usually ok). Most Thai people have the same kinds of dreams, worries, concerns, problems, issues, dysfunctions, strengths, and talents that all kinds of people do. Look for the common ground. Emotional and social function is more important publicly than intellectual, political, and economic function. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neeranam Posted October 6, 2009 Share Posted October 6, 2009 Never do a sport or activity if your feet are off the ground. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lopburi99 Posted October 6, 2009 Share Posted October 6, 2009 You can walk 300 meters in a fancy Thai mall before finding a toilet. Or if you're really desperate more of a tip-toed type waddle. You guys are so funny. Recently I had to quickly pull the car to the side of the road and make a mad dash into a corn field to the hilarity of some old women working the field, seeing a fat old farang answering an abrupt call of nature. Yes, my BVDs are still there too. Lucky a snake didn't bite me in the ass. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mca Posted October 6, 2009 Share Posted October 6, 2009 As Lopburi99 remembers the 11th commandment "If Thou Hast Diarrhea Anywhere Is A Toilet" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kuma Posted October 6, 2009 Share Posted October 6, 2009 dont marry rent yup and dont buy either - rent (unless you are staying 40+ years) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
surangw Posted October 6, 2009 Share Posted October 6, 2009 don't bother using sarcasm to make a point with asians, they don't get it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BIGTOE3 Posted October 6, 2009 Share Posted October 6, 2009 Brill thread, had a great laugh and could see me in some of the comments. If you look pregnant - 6 months or so just accept it and laugh. BT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lopburi99 Posted October 7, 2009 Share Posted October 7, 2009 (edited) Never give any woman more than a 2-3 day block of money. Anything beyond that is quickly a donation to the black hole. Zero budgeting or money management skills here. Edited October 7, 2009 by Lopburi99 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lopburi99 Posted October 7, 2009 Share Posted October 7, 2009 (edited) Surprise ANY woman with a 1000 baht mobile phone credit and gain a friend for life! A great investment. Edited October 7, 2009 by Lopburi99 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GarryP Posted October 7, 2009 Share Posted October 7, 2009 Murphey's law is also applicable in Thailand. "The best laid plans of mice and men often go astray" is especially true for Thailand. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stiggy Posted October 7, 2009 Share Posted October 7, 2009 If your partner has been acting strange and you have been out with boys recently... The moment she buys a duck ...........MOVE. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beacher Posted October 7, 2009 Share Posted October 7, 2009 I tried to continue with the toilet humour, butt I think all the jokes have been made. On a more serious note, never get into a street fight in Thailand. There's no such thing as a 1 on 1 or even 2 on 1 fight here. It's always 5 or 6 on 1, and they're really vicious ugly things to see. Fortunately, I've never been in one, but I've seen a couple that were sickening to watch. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EvilDrSomkid Posted October 7, 2009 Share Posted October 7, 2009 I tried to continue with the toilet humour, butt I think all the jokes have been made.On a more serious note, never get into a street fight in Thailand. There's no such thing as a 1 on 1 or even 2 on 1 fight here. It's always 5 or 6 on 1, and they're really vicious ugly things to see. Fortunately, I've never been in one, but I've seen a couple that were sickening to watch. Some of the best observations so far. But some people never learn. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beacher Posted October 7, 2009 Share Posted October 7, 2009 (edited) Comment deleted by poster. Edited October 7, 2009 by Beacher Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IanForbes Posted October 7, 2009 Share Posted October 7, 2009 Never give any woman more than a 2-3 day block of money. Anything beyond that is quickly a donation to the black hole. Zero budgeting or money management skills here. Correct. I'm quite convinced that Thais don't understand the meaning of the word... "budget". They figure that any money coming in is meant to be spent immediately. I've tried many times explaining that to the Thai family I take care of and it always falls on deaf ears. Surprise ANY woman with a 1000 baht mobile phone credit and gain a friend for life! A great investment. Very true. It is a good investment if you DO want her to keep track of you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bendejo Posted October 7, 2009 Share Posted October 7, 2009 Her reaction: "Toilets are very bad in Europe and North America. Especially Europe, where you have to pay to use them, and very expensive also. At least in Thailand toilets are plentiful and free, especially on major roadways" The Thai embassy in NYC has a small toilet in the public area. Throne, washbasin, no toilet paper, no soap, no towels. The visa applicant doesn't realize this is their introduction to the country. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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