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Long-distance Love

Featured Replies

hey girls!

the boyfriend is off for a month-long vacation and this is my first foray into a sort of long-distance love affair. when we were both here in bangkok we talk for hours on the phone everyday, on MSN, and spend our weekends together. in short, we're really connected at the hip, having known each other for almost 10 months and have been dating for around 5 months already, and counting. being both asian farangs in bangkok has worked to our advantage as we had found so many things in common with each other and we love exploring and discovering the wonders of bangkok and fumbling about with our pidgin thai.

now he's off for his annual holiday and i am stuck in bangkok amidst changing jobs and figuring out what to do next with my twentysomething life plans. while he has reassured me that things will not change much during his holiday and that he has promised to do his share of the effort...i can't help but feel shaky about the whole thing. how do i deal with this randomness? how do i keep my sanity for the next 3 weeks? i was thinking it would be good to set a daily schedule to talk but that would be imposing, and i am not like that. i just want to be reassured that everything will be all well after this holiday, because i really want to take this forward.

so enough about my rants...i just want to know what you ladies out there do to keep afloat (and sane) when your significant other is miles away...thanks so much in advance for the replies! :)

Well belle, although not a lady I can give you my perspective as someone who spent 6 months away from my now wife.

We weren't married then but the 6 months apart made us both realise that we were meant for each other.

Enjoy the space while you can - it will soon enough disappear. :)

Trust in trust. Don't sit up at night worrying about him.

Practically speaking now. Naughty thoughts of you and his right or left hand should keep him in good standing until his return.

Ah young love. I vaguely recall that. :D

One month is a very short time in the grand scheme of things. Talk on the phone, send him flirty texts, don't stalk but keep yourself in his mind in a fun and loving way. And remember this, if its good, one month won't matter. If the relationship is weak well, better to learn now than later.

And don't listen to Jamie, "think of the hand", good lord man. :)

Unofficial Thai Visa Pissup in Bangkok on the 18 Oct 2009, might help you feel better. :):D

No worries a month is a small amount of time. :D

Edited by britmaveric

Oh I sympathise. My hubby left yesterday for 4-6 weeks away up north working and even though he's in the same country I just feel blah about it, because we pretty much do everything together outside of my work. I've decided to hit the gym while he's away and also spend some time doing things for me, like sitting for hours in bookshops reading dusty novels. I'm determined to stick my photos into an album and get the christmas shopping done and mailed to relatives overseas. I also want to do some cheap decorating (new cushion covers, get a couple of prints framed & hung) so that the apartment looks a bit different when he comes back. Keeping busy will be the key for me.

Oh I sympathise. My hubby left yesterday for 4-6 weeks away up north working and even though he's in the same country I just feel blah about it, because we pretty much do everything together outside of my work. I've decided to hit the gym while he's away and also spend some time doing things for me, like sitting for hours in bookshops reading dusty novels. I'm determined to stick my photos into an album and get the christmas shopping done and mailed to relatives overseas. I also want to do some cheap decorating (new cushion covers, get a couple of prints framed & hung) so that the apartment looks a bit different when he comes back. Keeping busy will be the key for me.

Mr. meme and I just did four months apart. Happy thats over with and not planning on doing that again! although I have to say by the end of the four months I had found my independent grove. It's all about routine, as long as I am in one I can cope. I suppose it keeps a relationship young as you do get all caught up in the lovey stuff when you are reunited :)

I second Meme on this way. I did a 5 month stint a few months back. Am planning for a month in March and have had no thoughts about the relationship as it seems like such a short amount of time. But if you haven't experienced any time apart then I guess it would be a bit weird. But I actually enjoy time I have to myself...lying in bed all day without cleaning up after yourself and not feeling guilty, going out with the girls, and not worrying about what time you come back. Buying yourself some little treats that you don't have to sneak into the house! Try and focus on the positive things you can do without him. It will fly by and think of the guilt ridden presnts you could get, oops, I mean, he would give you!

Oh a month...as said before its a short amount of time in the bigger picture...!

But I understand the feeling of doubt, atleast a little.

Also said before try to enjoy the time as best as u can!

Hubs and me spent 5 months of every year apart for the first few years we were together...its all about trust!

  • Author

thanks a lot for the tips, it's been very helpful and reassuring to know that it's not just me who is going through this. it's my first dabble at some sort of a long-distance thing but the past few days has been going alright. we have been finding time to talk, albeit not as long as used to, but it at least alleviates my worries. i see that he's been making the effort to get in touch with me and tell me that he's online so that we can talk, and i really appreciate that. you're right, 20 plus days is pretty short in the grand scheme of things, and communication really is the key to overcome this :)

  • 2 weeks later...

Is he back yet?

I just wanted to add I think it is very sweet of you all to miss your other half when parted.

Me and Mr Redfish have the opposite problem lately, as I usually work on a 5 week on/off rotation for work so the longest we have spent together in one go is about 4 weeks when I take out the travel time to/from work. I have been on an extended break for the first time since we met (years) and I am going totally insane as I need my space! Love him to bits, but having not so happy thoughts pop into my head regularly of late as just not used to so long together. He is loving it that I haven't gone back to work, but over the top happy about it and driving me round the bend as a result. I am loving not being at work, but just miss having a decent nights sleep by myself, and just generally being able to do whatever I want with my non-working time and not having to consider him at all except in a nice end of the phone/email kinda way. Didn't realise I was so independent - oops.

Be careful what you wish for!

Ah yes, the old 'alone sleep time'. About the only thing I miss since I got married is the fact that I can no longer sleep to my own schedule and spreadeagle across the king-sized bed. I miss hubby terribly but the sleep I've been getting while he's away is just glorious.

Mr. Sbk snores like a freight train. When we have an available room and he is particularly bad I make him go sleep in a bungalow :D

After awhile you kinda get that separate bedrooms thing some old married couples have :D

Especially after being woken up night after night by the freight train :)

I used to hate sharing a bed, but actually have no problem sharing one with Mr Sabai. Helps that he is a little mouse when he sleeps...whereas I am the snorer. I am also a very good sleeper. Oh and the 6ft bed helps too. One thing I cannot stand is bodily contact when I sleep. My best friend tells me that often her and her bf end up practically sleeping on top of each other...ick! In a tropical climate with no AC...double ick. I need my spaaaaaaaaaaaaaace when I sleep.

Sorry :) ooops

  • Author
Is he back yet?

I just wanted to add I think it is very sweet of you all to miss your other half when parted.

Me and Mr Redfish have the opposite problem lately, as I usually work on a 5 week on/off rotation for work so the longest we have spent together in one go is about 4 weeks when I take out the travel time to/from work. I have been on an extended break for the first time since we met (years) and I am going totally insane as I need my space! Love him to bits, but having not so happy thoughts pop into my head regularly of late as just not used to so long together. He is loving it that I haven't gone back to work, but over the top happy about it and driving me round the bend as a result. I am loving not being at work, but just miss having a decent nights sleep by myself, and just generally being able to do whatever I want with my non-working time and not having to consider him at all except in a nice end of the phone/email kinda way. Didn't realise I was so independent - oops.

Be careful what you wish for!

He's supposed to be back next week, but his flight might be delayed for a week as he is still fixing the papers for his visa. We just talked about it yesterday, and I can't help but feel a little disappointed. I know he's trying his best calling me everyday just how things are going, but I realized communication really is the key to making relationships work. It's not really the presence, but what I miss the most is the fact that at the end of the day, there's someone who wants to know how it all went. So now I am trying to just condition myself for waiting an additional week at the worst, reassuring myself that it can't be that bad, and focusing on things to do on my own. :)

Mr. Sbk snores like a freight train. When we have an available room and he is particularly bad I make him go sleep in a bungalow :D

After awhile you kinda get that separate bedrooms thing some old married couples have :D

Especially after being woken up night after night by the freight train :)

I take it that is is NOT the same train that is involved with the "rod fai chon kan" that MiG16 has mentioned, although I consider inability to get to sleep (eventually) may be a common factor?

hey girls!

the boyfriend is off for a month-long vacation and this is my first foray into a sort of long-distance love affair. when we were both here in bangkok we talk for hours on the phone everyday, on MSN, and spend our weekends together. in short, we're really connected at the hip, having known each other for almost 10 months and have been dating for around 5 months already, and counting. being both asian farangs in bangkok has worked to our advantage as we had found so many things in common with each other and we love exploring and discovering the wonders of bangkok and fumbling about with our pidgin thai.

now he's off for his annual holiday and i am stuck in bangkok amidst changing jobs and figuring out what to do next with my twentysomething life plans. while he has reassured me that things will not change much during his holiday and that he has promised to do his share of the effort...i can't help but feel shaky about the whole thing. how do i deal with this randomness? how do i keep my sanity for the next 3 weeks? i was thinking it would be good to set a daily schedule to talk but that would be imposing, and i am not like that. i just want to be reassured that everything will be all well after this holiday, because i really want to take this forward.

so enough about my rants...i just want to know what you ladies out there do to keep afloat (and sane) when your significant other is miles away...thanks so much in advance for the replies! :)

I think I am qualified for this, and the main answer depends on what type of person you and they are. I have been married to my wife for 3 years known her 4. I live in the UK she lives in BKK I come as often as i can at least twice a year staying for about 2.5 months per time. Its difficult its like being two separate people but if you have trust its fine althoguh i do get the occasional bad day off her asking me how long before I can live in Thailand.

She takes care of our business (condo rentals) but whe they are full she has little to occupy herself. Recently however she got a job with a mutual friend and is rushed off her feet and much more sane. Keep busy is the advice!!

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