Do Thai People Even Like Us ? Or Aare We Just Atms

[Geekfreaklover]

Reading threads like this convinces me that it is better to stay away from the marriage scene for our own sake.

Remember: you never marry a girl - you marry into the whole family (and sometimes also their neighbours and neighbours' neighbours ). I love the expression 'extended family'.

If you put the word 'bar' before 'girl' it is still a sweeping generalization but probably more correct.

But to the OP, I would seriously think about not building a house in a villiage where you are made to feel insignificant by the natives. Your Mrs should have drilled them on how to refer to you with respect. They are treating you like an ATM, do you wish to continue being one?

If you are pissed off now, do you think things will change once the house has been built?

Welcome to Spongeville.

[mrtoad]

why is it always the guys who get along along give money appropriately! what is appropriate?

10 baht of gold and a million baht in Sin Sot is a good starter. If you can maybe throw in a pick up truck and some building repairs you will be treated like a God. Don't forget also, to keep them happy plenty of whiskey and change should see you right.

[JimsKnight]

This the reason a fair few of us don't bother with up-country villages, you are the oddity, the strange foreigner and nothing will change that.

I stayed for two weeks in a thai village on the isaan border.

They were some of the most greediest and ignorant folk I've ever come across.

By greedy, they would expect you to pay for anything and everything if you were in their company.

By ignorant they would ignore you even if you spoke decent thai.

They were doing exactly what the OP was saying. When it came to Loh Kratong the day after we got hit with a bill for all the drink that the villagers had guzzled.

I couldn't wait to get out of the place after that (I bought a bike to get myself clear!)

People might slag off towns and cities but at least they usually have a more open mind...

Edited November 12, 2009 by JimsKnight

[ScubaBuddha]

Learn the language and the culture. Don't be to tightfisted. Thai whiskey isn't Johnny Black Label or Glen Morangie.

I don't know, I think it's like feeding a stray cat dog, they will keep coming back, and then with their friends. I would treat them the same as if someone came leaching to me back home, unless of course your rich and need everyone to love you, which I am not, and I don't.

[MSingh]

I'm all for giving what i feel is the best advice possible for people given my 6 Years of experinece in this Country & my advice to you on thsi one is that you better get used to it as it happens not just to you but me too & i doubt it will ever stop so if you don't or can't get used to it, get out before you do something stupid especially if you're seriously thinking about " ripping the Pr*cks head off " etc..

But i have to ask 2 things, do you really, really believe what you wrote below & why do you feel the need to tell all that would listen, that it is a fact ??

" though my wife is 100% ive been with her 4 odd years and shes never asked me for a single penny and i know she loves me,thats a fact ! "

It should be especially worrying, & is for me, that the natives are treating you like this if what you have said above is true, know what i mean ??

[MegaRanter]

wife: Honey its loy krathong tomorrow, my younger brother wants to drive us to the village

me : you never had plans to go home this weekend , and I ll be coming home late.

wife: its ok he will take me and the kids, we will use my car.

me: I already told you we will only do long distances with my car, its new and reliable and that car of yours cost 14000 at the garage last week , just for new breaks and oil change.it also drinks gasoline.

wife: he said he will be paying for gas.

me: how about this dear, tell your brother to swing by a car dealership, get himself a car, gas it up and use it take his nice little girlfriend to the village. I do not remember seeing him at his grandfather's funeral last month.

[dumball]

The general gist I get from most of the posts on this thread is , in general it does not matter what YOU may or may not think , like or appreciated are not words to be considered unless you conform to the deeply imbedded Thaiwise amongst us , bend over and pay up or be considered a tight ass .

Personaly I prefer to BLEND NOT BEND , if this is not permissable or acceptable I decline your offer to visit , I am not nor never will be the welfare payement office for a people who so blatantly show their contempt in whatever pretty manner they wish to show it or try to conceal it , FEED YOUR OWN SICK BUFFALO and all his offspring .

[madjbs]

im currently building a place in issan,,the family get on well with me but ive noticed a few of the distant relatives and friends come around asking me to buy thai wiskey for them,get lost is my reply !! the other nite the father brought a friend around,the friend kept looking at me as if asking for something,i just looked away and didnt pay any heed...then i heard the word kwai ( buffalo ) i think this prick was saying to papa that he had a buffalo and why would the buffalo not buy any whiskey..then this morning i came out and my wifes nephew and her papa were standing and when papa seen me he said something to the nephew ,the nephew looked at me then looked away,the other day i was in internt shop,i asked the guy how much? he looked at two thai girls ,said something and they both sniggered,felt like taking the little pricks head off ,, well ive been all round the world and never had this kind of disrepect before,im not paranoid ,it wasnt my looks or my dress sense because i look well "i think" lol and allways dress well..maybe it really is time to learn thai fluently..im getting more convinced that we really are seen as money or second class citizens .though my wife is 100% ive been with her 4 odd years and shes never asked me for a single penny and i know she loves me,thats a fact !

I don't know if they like "us", I probably wouldn't like you either. Most certainly like me, I have many good Thai friends as well as westerners (who also have many good Thai friends).

The kind of comments you make, I have only ever heard in person from people who quite frankly don't deserve any respect anyway. Unfortunately, there are a growing number of those types here in Thailand, as can be seen by the increasing number of bitter and nasty comments made on this forum by new posters.

[punkonater]

Learn the language and the culture. Don't be to tightfisted. Thai whiskey isn't Johnny Black Label or Glen Morangie.

No it's not Top shelf, but do it once too often and it will be expected, then word will get around and he'll be expected to buy whiskey for the whole village. Better to start off as you mean to go on.

Thai "whiskey" is actually rum

and Mekong Whiskey is rum that's actually gasoline

[alyx]

Of course if someone appears like a Sean Connery everyone here will Khun you

and imagine you are a polite white student in Africa and your black teacher says, that you are also a black person here because you live in Africa now...

well i guess that it would make the student quite proud as it is a mark of consideration. Don't we get the "You are Thai now" when we have been living in Thailand for a while, but then again it is not because one has lived a while anywhere that he has assimilated (integrated whichever is nicer) the culture and understood the people

To come back to the iinitial post I have encountered the same kind of problems many years ago: My Thai friend and I decided to find a room to live together. Being on a very tight budget it was obvious that we were going to end up in a very poor area but we eventually found a place off Silom: I guess the choice could not have been worst as all our neighbours were the one you see selling food and other things on Silom, meaning that they are/were used to see foreigners as a milking cow. Therefore, for a month or so, I was approached on a daily basis by different guys willing to have a drink with me (well I do not drink at all and as I said was on a very low budget) so I did decline very politely each time. needless to say that this behaviour was far from being appreciated/accepted and ended up being ignored (in a bad way) by the majority of the residents and only talked to the people selling us food or drinks. I even had a beginning of a fight with some youngsters (my age at the time) but as they were drunk some elders intervened.

We stayed two years in that place and were very happy to Since then I have made some money in the west and got us a better flat in another part of Silom

I often go through the former area to get to where we live and, what seems very strange, the people who remember me say hello and even Wai

I guess that this kind of behaviour belongs to the past and can be found in remote areas where they still see the non Thai as a rich and generous person. To realise that, one should go to the patpong area where salesmen were so agressive to the tourists when they were not willing to buy anything although they had engaged in bargaining. Now it is a completely different story (mind you tourist are not as numerous as they used to be so that might have helped too) and they are addressing tourists in a nice way

[MrFrank]

why is it always the guys who get along along give money appropriately! what is appropriate?

It is your judgement in what is and is not appropriate to spend money on that will determine how people will regard you.

If you routinely decline requests for money from alcoholics who want whisky for breakfast and distant uncles who want loans to pay off their gambling debts (again) everyone will you respect you for it. If you, in the middle of building your expensive house, refuse to pay a few thousand baht for your grandma to have an actual toilet (rather than a hole in the ground outdoors) they will be suspicious of your character and motives.

[vagabond48]

Why has Osama Binladen not been found considering he has a 50 million dollar bounty on his head ? Go for the cash ? yeah right

bad marketing by US gov?

[ozzieovaseas]

Just some bigotry going around, that doesnt mean they hate you. Why do allot of the girls want farangs and want a half farang kid if they hate us ?

Let me answer that one

Its because they hope to get good looking whitish thai kid who will possibly become a star on a thai soap and make mum rich later on

Im being serious,an ex told me this,really..and she was not joking she actually believed it

And why is there white people in the soaps ?

why is there white people in all the fasion adds in the malls ?

Like I said, allot might think farangs are jackasses but that is not hate, its bigotry.

Thats another issue to ponder.Ive often wondered..if Thais (allegedly) treat us so bad,hate farangs ect ect, then why the big business in skin whitening,wanting to look white,speak english,have whitish people in the media?? ect ect?

During my time here my thoughts have often alternated between naievity,alloofness and skepticism.Thinking thais "admire" farangs is what my ex wanted me to believe but i soon realized she had her own reasons for wanting me to believe this. When it became obvious that she didnt want me to learn to much thai, i soon realised what she was up to and drew my own conclusions.

Farang=rich...and all thais want to be rich..simple really...to be white is to be rich

And it seems the idea of "face" stares us in the face the whole time.

They dont want to be a farang they just want to be seen to be rich (like a farang)

If they want their skin to be white,its not because they admire farangs or want to be like one, its because they want other thais to believe they are rich and important and glamorous..Sad really.

Its like "How could i ever admire you, you silly farangs! How could i respect your culture or give you credit for the few good contributions you have given to society, when our thai ways are obviously so much superior...hel_l,i dont really even want to look like you guys but that is what one must do to gain respect and appear rich and successful in this day and age....Its not fair really,that we have to suffer all these injustices, like having to make do with bht500k cars,louis vuitton handbags and the like, when you guys simply print money as you need it...hel_l, you probably even light up your cuban cigars with 100 dollar bills!..

And please, no more complaints about Visa laws or paying an extra 100 baht for a taxi. You should feel priveleged to be here AND if you want to have the best of our (very) young women as your plaything (you dirty 60 year old bugger) it should be an honour to support her whole village...ok?

Ok..rant over

[phetaroi]

I don't know if they like "us", I probably wouldn't like you either. Most certainly like me, I have many good Thai friends as well as westerners (who also have many good Thai friends).

The kind of comments you make, I have only ever heard in person from people who quite frankly don't deserve any respect anyway. Unfortunately, there are a growing number of those types here in Thailand, as can be seen by the increasing number of bitter and nasty comments made on this forum by new posters.

Thank you for saying this. I have to admit I doubt I'd like many of the TV posters simply because there is a huge tendency for constant negativity and a chip on their shoulder. Of course there are exceptions.

[caf]

 

can't you make your point without being so offensive

Edited November 13, 2009 by bonobo
Removed quotes from posts which have since been deleted.

[bonobo]

Disagreeing with another's post is fine, but let's keep the personal attacks out of here.  Several posts have been removed for flaming.

[dmax]

"get lost is my reply..."

Well, with your sensational interpersonal relationships, it's no wonder why people (Thai and farang) dislike you.

well when there is some blind drunk halfwit going on and on asking the family buffalo to buy him lao kow what should i say ? " sure heres 200 baht for lao kow and another 70 for a pack of smokes oh and sure take another 50 for a tuk tuk to take you home later since you cannot walk " yeah rite !!

[dmax]

can't you make your point without being so offensive

yes caf i can and i am but did you notice that i had been goaded first for no reason ? anyway im certainly not on this site to flame anyone and i never have in the past but some people just have a chip on their shoulder,or two.

[YoungNRich12]

Perhaps the real question is, What is there to like about you besides your ATM card?

[caf]

can't you make your point without being so offensive

yes caf i can and i am but did you notice that i had been goaded first for no reason ? anyway im certainly not on this site to flame anyone and i never have in the past but some people just have a chip on their shoulder,or two.

sorry , no i did not. if you were goaded then i withdraw the remark ansd apologise unreservedly.

i also have been on the end of this goading today on the chiangmai forum.

[zzaa09]

Learn the language and the culture. Don't be to tightfisted. Thai whiskey isn't Johnny Black Label or Glen Morangie.

Yep. Agreed.

[robblok]

I suspect most are indifferent and really too busy with their own lives to care much either way. Don't take any Sh*t but try not to be rude (easier said than done) . It'll take approx 10 years before they start to accept or Ignore you which amounts to the same thing = Peace . Its just a game they like to play. Anything for nothing. Sh*t! I was taken by surprise last week when one of the young kids wai'd me and called me uncle (no relation what so ever) I guess he's a new generation who has always known me to be around or he's scared of me because I'm the only adult who actually says anything to him when he's out of order.

If you do find any particular relative to be a real pain then give them as much cheap Thai whiskey as they can possibly consume as often as possible. its only 30 baht or so for a bottle or bag of the stuff. He'll be out of your hair in 3 to 5 years.

They don't like us........we are walking ATMs...........were are not Thai...........xenophobia has increased dramatically in Thailand. But most expats can't see it or refuse to see it. They see smiles at the surface level and think that is reality.

Some might be like that there are good and bad Thais all over the place. But it really helps if you can speak with them.

Here I have a good relationship with my neighbours i think thais in the tourist area's are worse then those outside of them.

[robblok]

Perhaps the real question is, What is there to like about you besides your ATM card?

In some cases almost nothing.

[Birdman]

The majority which deals with us does not say it, but they don't like us. Why? Because we are way to complex. Now so many bring their Western attitudes to Thailand and there will be much more in the future demanding more Western standards in all perspectives of life. They will hate us even more for that.

[zzaa09]

if they don't respect you then it is a pretty sure bet your woman doesn't either. if she did she would be adamant in your defense.

it is a situation of your own creation.

I suspect, as well, that we're missing some other aspects of the story.

[LuckyFive8888]

to the topic... it all depends which kind of people you are dealing with. you go soi nana then yes you are walking ATM. did you ever thought thailand also have decent people living normally? many of which are more richer than farangs, OK, maybe you don't meet these circles of people because you just go to some gogo bars where they don't hang around... just a thought, no hard feelings man.

Edited November 13, 2009 by LuckyFive8888

[zzaa09]

The majority which deals with us does not say it, but they don't like us. Why? Because we are way to complex. Now so many bring their Western attitudes to Thailand and there will be much more in the future demanding more Western standards in all perspectives of life. They will hate us even more for that.

One could ask, subjectively {devil's advocate}, as to why they might view 'us' with a jaded eye? Perhaps are respective civilisations and subsequent character aren't as developed as we find ourselves. Frankly, I believe many extend far too much emphasis on such silly social interactions that probably are mere figments of their pre-disposed indoctrination - seeing things that aren't really there.

[Birdman]

The majority which deals with us does not say it, but they don't like us. Why? Because we are way to complex. Now so many bring their Western attitudes to Thailand and there will be much more in the future demanding more Western standards in all perspectives of life. They will hate us even more for that.

One could ask, subjectively {devil's advocate}, as to why they might view 'us' with a jaded eye? Perhaps are respective civilisations and subsequent character aren't as developed as we find ourselves. Frankly, I believe many extend far too much emphasis on such silly social interactions that probably are mere figments of their pre-disposed indoctrination - seeing things that aren't really there.

They view 'us' with a jaded eyes, because they did not know us. And they assumed that we belong to the sophisticated, rich upper class. That was 20 years ago. Now they know us better.

[LuckyFive8888]

they insert something and get money instantly... what's that sounds like?

[zzaa09]

I find the OP inquiry to be rather abrasive, even innocent - to assume and generalise towards us and we, as all the situations and thought processes might be one and the same. Every connection and interaction could easily be different from the next and the next.