Hitting Life's Reset Button

[maccaroni man]

I was at a birthday celebration for a man I first met in Bali back in 1996. As so often happens in situations like this we began to reminisce about the past. We talked about his diving adventures, his 1st open course and how he eventually attained his masters and became a dive instructor which led him on global jaunts looking for the perfect reef. We laughed about all the women he had loved and lost and the good fortune he had when he met the woman he is with now. Sometime during all this chatter I began to realize that he was in his late 50’s when he started on his new dive adventures. His attitude of it never being to late to start living, got me wondering; is hitting the reset button and living our dreams the common denominator amongst expats? I am not saying I would change anything I did before I came to Asia but I have been smarter in the choices I have made while living here.

[awd]

I think you are on to something here. For a lot of us, we are living beyond our wildest dreams of a decade or two ago. We have found a new peace and a new happiness. We don't regret the past, nor do we wish to shut the door on it. Life is good, life is worth living, and we enjoy sharing with our relatively new found families.

[PeaceBlondie]

Steppenwolf sang "your degree hangs on the wall. Your parents prayed too much for you. It's never too late to start all over again."

[ignoramus]

Liked the topic, skimmed through the replies, then saw that Jingthing was reading it. (Went back and read more carefully.) So gunna hang around to see what he has to say.

[sharecropper]

Liked the topic, skimmed through the replies, then saw that Jingthing was reading it. (Went back and read more carefully.) So gunna hang around to see what he has to say.

He will probably say something about wishing he had never got on a baht bus!

[ignoramus]

An innovative topic title maccaroni man; got my attention. I think this might well be a long story, or at the very least a thought-provoking one - post-producing or not. I sure as h*ll hope the theory is correct. For the first time in my (relatively-speaking longish life) I feel that the time for the re-set button is nigh.

[ozzieovaseas]

Liked the topic, skimmed through the replies, then saw that Jingthing was reading it. (Went back and read more carefully.) So gunna hang around to see what he has to say.

He will probably say something about wishing he had never got on a baht bus!

hehehe..poor JT...he will never live that baht bus issue down..

maybe this thread is giving him some ideas for a new poll, is been a while

The Office of J.T-----hub for TV Polls

[Meridian007]

His attitude of it never being to late to start living, got me wondering; is hitting the reset button and living our dreams the common denominator amongst expats? I am not saying I would change anything I did before I came to Asia but I have been smarter in the choices I have made while living here.

I'd say that you're quite accurate. Most of us wanted a change (for some, because of life-altering events, for others, just a need to try something new), but I don't think any of us regret what we left behind, because that was our impetus for coming here.

If you'd told me five years ago that I'd be here, doing what I'm am now, I would have laughed at you, but inside I would have been jealous towards that "future me". I think once you start doing things like this it also frees you from falling into whatever you left behind again, or at least makes you realize that you can walk out again if things start going the same way. As surprising as it may seem, we do learn from our past!

[Huey]

Thats right, 10 years ago... I could not have imagined this. It was a bumpy road but damm was it real. I'm sure I LIVED more, much more, in these past 10 years than I have in the other 24 put together. I struggle to think about what I would have done differently, because while I made plenty o' mistakes in that time, coming through them and dealing with them has allowed me to grow and learn so much.

I guess the only thing I would have changed was I would have came out sooner.

[sassienie]

I am now in my 50s. Unfortunately nearer to 60 than 50.

These are now the best times of my life since I made the decision to move to Thailand.

I have never been so secure, no need to work, have a family and all that.

But I wouldn’t say this is eternal happiness, more so a place where I’m not so miserable in. But I’m not complaining, life is what you make it, so we have to make the most of what we have.

Did someone mention they saw Jingthing lurking about? I`m off before he comes back.

[F1fanatic]

Sassiene, you are v lucky!

I've never been so insecure in my life - and the one thing I ever wanted in my life was security!

Having said that, once my world fell apart (after retiring to Thailand with my husband, only to be deserted by him once he found a younger Thai .... put your own word in here that will not offend censorship rules), much to my suprise I've become much less fearful.

Can't say I'm keen on the 'reset' button as such (in most cases from what I've seen, its just an excuse to accept relationships that you'd never accept at home) but moving to Thailand has certainly taught me one hel_l of a lot!

[sassienie]

Sassiene, you are v lucky!

I've never been so insecure in my life - and the one thing I ever wanted in my life was security!

Having said that, once my world fell apart (after retiring to Thailand with my husband, only to be deserted by him once he found a younger Thai .... put your own word in here that will not offend censorship rules), much to my suprise I've become much less fearful.

Can't say I'm keen on the 'reset' button as such (in most cases from what I've seen, its just an excuse to accept relationships that you'd never accept at home) but moving to Thailand has certainly taught me one hel_l of a lot!

I have made some big mistakes in my life, but I know the score.

You get these old gits, who have worked all their lives, had the best of their younger years, probably financially secure once the working life is over, than they believe that once they are well past their prime, then they can buy some young bit of hot totty and she will be so appreciative to him for rescuing her from a life of poverty and despair that the girl will consider him as her knight in shining armour so will instantly fall in love and stay with the guy for all eternity.

This is wrong. In most cases the girl will only view the old soul as a walking ATM and will leave the moment she finds greener grass elsewhere. And of course will want young guys on the side to fulfil her sexual desires that she cant enjoy with the older guy. These old guys really do believe that these girls find them desirable and that they are the one out of all the other old coffin dodgers the girl would prefer to be with.

In the end they`re only achievement is that they create their own hel_l, ending up emotionally and financially drained.

I’ve seen this scenario over and over again in my 20 years experience of Thailand.

Fools never listen to advice or use common sense, they only learn by experience.

Bide your time, F1fanatic and see what happens.

Edited November 17, 2009 by bonobo

[IanForbes]

It certainly happened to me, even though I've had a great life (by my standards and interests). Most everyone has choices in life and even if you are down at the time it IS possible to look at the good side of everything. In 1996, a lady I loved very much couldn't handle the stress of an adult son (her's, not mine) who had mental problems and she took off, leaving her son with me. I eventually had to get the police to move him out of my home. I was devistated by the split but turned it around within a year. A friend invited me to Thailand and it completely turned my life around for the better. I was 57 when my wife left and life was never this good even when I was in my twenties. But, I am fortunate in having good health and a physically fit body. I also have fairly simple interests and tastes. I enjoy fishing, photography, painting, hunting and most outdoor sports. I write for magazines and can sell all the artwork I can paint, so there is enough personal satisfaction in a free life style.

[cognos]

good thread..Jonie Mitchell wrote the song in which she says.." you don't know what you got 'till its gone.." ya i do..readers digest version..once i started goin' to LOS.. (at age 49, now 53) .. 7 times and counting..I have never looked back..stopped drinkin/smokin' dope/ "found" a great Thai lady with a good family..the blessings go on and on..cheers

[malomker]

stopped drinkin/smokin' dope/ "found" a great Thai lady with a good family

Congrats! I recently made my first trip and it's turned me around as well. I'm losing weight, stopped drinking, and am going back to school to finish my degree. Everyone needs something to keep them going and Thailand is a place of possibilities whereas I had nothing to look forward to in America.

[Jingthing]

Reset button? Do you mean Ctrl+Alt+Delete?

As I was mentioned before, I suppose I am expected to comment. I can't relate to this topic at all. No polls forthcoming. You are all on your own!

[ballzafire]

Reset button?

How 'bout just changing the software...

[geronimo]

I came here 26 years ago, with 50 pounds in my pocket and a one way ticket. I have no regrets.

[colspeed]

I've had a great life, with it's ups and downs - "Been there, lost my shirt again".

Only been here 3 years, but I've never been happier, healthier or had such zest for life.

However, you can't have too much of a good thing. So I reckon I'll die soon!

[Ijustwannateach]

Have started new things in new places lots of times- but I would only do it over if I could have the knowledge and experience I have now. No way I could have been doing as well as I am now here without plenty of past experience to set me up.

[phetaroi]

Reset button. Good way to put it. I have been thinking of retiring in Thailand since at least 1990. Two years ago I retired and wanted to spend a year doing some traveling at home in the States and wrapping up other "stuff". Six months ago I made the move.

My friends back home can't comprehend it. Some admire it, particularly because they always saw me as a relatively conservative guy, but still don't get it.

Well for me it has been because of a number of factors:

1. A relationship -- long distance until now -- that I have been in for well over a decade.

2. A liking for the culture...even realizing all is not glittering temples and friendly smiles.

3. A desire in my closing years to do something truly different.

I have one old colleague back home whose husband was in the foreign service here years ago. They were located at Songkhla when there was still a consulate there. She "gets it" and wishes they could come back and live here.

So yes, for me...reset button, but with no desire to fast forward to senility.

BTW, Jingthing...yes, a little weird/feisty/argumentative lately...but still some posts that get you thinking...and that's good.

[alobar]

Good and timely thread. Not only validating but inspiring. There are those that haven't cut the cord yet lurking here.

Been coming over since the early 80's and have dreamed of becoming an ex-pat there ever since. I have probably sabotaged my own world here, to some extent, to fulfill that dream. Nah.

Is 'she', whomever that may be (again), really all that fills that void? Other than that I have it all, yet I still want. I'm 53 and choking on it as I write it, but really wouldn't trade it for any other time.

Everyone I know here, who is even remotely content, is just settled in for their life's winter. I don't crave adversity, but do loathe too much predictability. Carlos Castenada used to talk of his 'power spot', and I suppose it's a different place for everyone. Thailand has always seemed to be mine.

At the risk of appearing too saccharine, for the most part, the best of the best I have met in my life, have been the dreamers and the wanderers, and most of them I have met on the road in SE Asia. Khao San had 5 guest houses, Chiang Mai had Lanna homes and nothing over 2 stories. Things change.

Buenos Aires made my top 3 for ex-patriation, and they have a good forum also, but much more cynical. You can tell a lot about the quality of life in a place by the tone of the posters.

Thanks for leaving the light on TV. Coming back 'home' in a couple of weeks. I have always wanted to wind up there as the result of a dream, as opposed to the loss of them.

Does anyone ever come out in to the light or is that bad netiquette? It would be nice to meet a kindred spirit or two.

Does this mean i'll have to learn how to ride??

[villagefarang]

This topic highlights a major issue between me and the reset generation. Having been here since my early twenties, my experience base and perspective on life, is often quite different from the old-age new arrivals. Having arrived here without the excess baggage of a previous life, I am not always as understanding and compassionate toward newbies and their foibles as I perhaps could be.

Though not all do it well or with much grace, I guess I do respect the courage, or desperation, it takes to hit the reset button later in life. Perhaps it is better to play badly than to not play at all.

Edited November 17, 2009 by villagefarang

[sceadugenga]

It's certainly been discussed in various forms, (Peter Pan syndrome?) and while it's great to act as though you're a generation or two younger it's also a good idea not to forget your real age.

[deejah]

for me life began at 45 when i left the usa

should have left 25 years prior

glad i finally did

[sceadugenga]

We should all have a USA to leave.

[fridgemagnet]

Well England is pretty good to leave too.

The beloved leaders are determined to keep their heads firmly up the American asshol_e,

even tho America doesn't give a @#$%& about us, having sold us lots of their poison debt, dragged us to war, etc.

There is no democracy here, no 'land of the free' either.

Plus the weather is vile, and so is the food.

Thailand, and a good push of the reset button, suits me fine.

[manarak]

"Reset Button":

not quite, but I am about to change a lot of things by moving to Thailand.

When I discovered Thailand, I thought "damnnnnnnnnn - what have I been doing in the last ten years???"

If I had known this country during my student time, I would have done almost EVERYTHING differently...

Today I think that all students should be sent on a one year world travel to discover and see everything there is too see about the world.

This was a tradition among rich families some decades ago, and I think it should be reintroduced.

[phetaroi]

We should all have a USA to leave.

It's reassuring to know, however, that you also have a USA to go back to if it ever became necessary to do so.

[joorakee]

Having said that, once my world fell apart (after retiring to Thailand with my husband, only to be deserted by him once he found a younger Thai .... put your own word in here that will not offend censorship rules)

Sorry, maybe I shouldn't but can't help writing this: didn't you foresee that something like that is very likely to happen if you both move to Thailand?