rideswings Posted November 27, 2009 Share Posted November 27, 2009 I have been together with my wife for over a year now, and since we first started dating, many guys have tried to hit on her despite the fact that they know she is with me. She is not nor ever was a bar girl, and does not dress provocatively, she just must have some sort of sex appeal. She does not flirt with them, they just want to hit on her. Recently one of my farang neighbors told a friend of my wifes that he thinks my wife is sexy, and he has told my wife a number of times in front of me that he thinks she is sexy, not jokingly, but in a way that is offensive to me and her. He doesnt tell me she is sexy, he tells her right in front of me! My first reaction is to want to punch his lights out, but he has helped us with many things, so I watch my temper. I know that I need to keep her away from him. Also, my Thai landlord is always trying to chat her up, he doesnt want to talk to me, he just tries to talk to her. I had these problems with my old farang wife, many guys tried to hit on her, but she just brushed it off, and would tell me that she doesnt like someone because he tried to hit on her and she doesnt want to be near him. Now Im having the same problems with my lovely young wife. Sometimes diplomacy takes a back seat to telling someone how you really feel, and Im getting to the boiling point with this. As far as I can see, my wife is innocent. These guys are just horny. Anyone else had experience with this? I cant keep an eye on her 24/7 so any tips would be appreciated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nam-thip Posted November 27, 2009 Share Posted November 27, 2009 You sound very insecure, lighten up. Look at what is said as compliments and brush it aside. If you can't deal with it check her out and go find an ugly one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
garyh Posted November 27, 2009 Share Posted November 27, 2009 Maybe it is the way you handle it that makes them think they can get away with it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KASABIAN Posted November 27, 2009 Share Posted November 27, 2009 If you allow it this will slowly and surely eat you away until your relationship is finished. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cognos Posted November 27, 2009 Share Posted November 27, 2009 ..you state you would like to punch out his lights, but he has "helped us with many things, so I watch my temper"..my temper comes mostly from childhood sexual abuse..where does yours come from? Perhaps you need to deal with your temper, as someone that has not helped you may tell you your wife is sexy, and then if you do punch his lights out,( and he is a Thai fellow ) remember that there are a lot of gun toting Thais in LOS that have no qualms about using them when they lose face. I don't give advice, but if I was in your shoes, I may consider enjoying that others are somewhat envious of your position.. after all, it has always been this way, no?..as you state that your last wife was also getting hit on..be thankful that you can seemingly get beautiful women to love you with ease. If they see you losing your temper and going ballistic, perhaps they may see you in a different light other than the shining star that they now see you as. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moe666 Posted November 27, 2009 Share Posted November 27, 2009 At some point you have to speak up or you will be precieved as less than a man who can protect his wife. Said once hahaha said twice bu--sh-t. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
needforspeed Posted November 27, 2009 Share Posted November 27, 2009 Your "WIFE" and you know her for just over 1 year, i know enough Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Curt1591 Posted November 27, 2009 Share Posted November 27, 2009 Exhibit "A": Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stinkyfarang Posted November 27, 2009 Share Posted November 27, 2009 (edited) easy. full face burkha. thatll stop the old lechers every time. its laughable that some posters think that a lot of thai guys have guns and that any action results in a 9mm being pulled simply cos they are thai, and that a loss of face is the be all and end all. you just aint got the minerals. no need be a submissive walkover the whole time ya here. Edited November 27, 2009 by stinkyfarang Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sanook2me Posted November 27, 2009 Share Posted November 27, 2009 I don't give advice, but...... Best quote ever from aunty cognos... You make me laugh..... OP Pull down your pants and check to see if you have 2 balls in your sack! if not grow some.... or stop marrying ladies who everyone hits on to stop feeding your paranoia cause it will kill you and the relationship.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
needforspeed Posted November 28, 2009 Share Posted November 28, 2009 I don't give advice, but...... Best quote ever from aunty cognos... You make me laugh..... OP Pull down your pants and check to see if you have 2 balls in your sack! if not grow some.... or stop marrying ladies who everyone hits on to stop feeding your paranoia cause it will kill you and the relationship.... (Kill you and your relationship) Wallet first after relationship and last YOU Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soloman Posted November 28, 2009 Share Posted November 28, 2009 I am sure counsellors will say that it is YOUR problem with YOUR own insecurity. And I agree to a point. However I would explain to your wife that you accept that it is not HER problem but YOURS, but you feel that these guys are flirting with her and it makes you feel uncomfortable. Maybe discuss ways of her discouraging it, like just saying "thanks" to compliments but not engaging them in conversation, maybe even being a little rude to them by walking away. I would even say to repeat offenders something quietly into their shell like ear. If it happens again give them a dark look and taking her gently by the arm and walk away - even if mid conversation. They will get the hint. Generally I compliment my friends' wives/girl friends when I see them but I like them only as friends. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rideswings Posted November 28, 2009 Author Share Posted November 28, 2009 Maybe Im a bit paranoid and a bit jealous, but some guys are stupid and say what they want to whom they want, and others just dont take NO for an answer. The wife and I were looking at apartments a while back and one American guy who was very drunk boxed my wife into a corner and was ready to do something if I hadnt come along and dragged him off of her. Am I paranoid? No. Just because this is LOS, some guys think they can have any woman they want because so many women want farangs. I dont have a temper problem. Im just defending my wife from some jackasses who dont have manners. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TallForeigner Posted November 28, 2009 Share Posted November 28, 2009 (edited) I feel sorry for you "rideswings", but your problem also makes me chuckle a bit. Why? Well, because I know it so well and me and my wife are having great fun with it. I'm happily together with my Thai wife since 12 years now - and she is still very sexy. She doesn't dress provocatively at all but rather elegantly with an excellent taste and sense for some more expensive fashion and jewelry. It still happens on a daily basis that some guys (Thai and Farang) try to chat her up. She is rather amused by the lame attempts of so many and we both have quite a lot of fun with it. When we are together I can see from the way some guys are looking at her what is going on and if I don't spot it, my wife discretely lets me know who is "watching". Since we are together no one ever dared to approach her indecently in front of me - there is a simple reason for that. These guys are all cowards and are not looking for trouble and my appearance makes them think twice. I happen to be 195cm, 110kg built with solid, well trained muscles (by the way, the guy in my avatar is me - it's an actual pic of myself). I have fun watching those guys checking out my wife and then looking at me and realising that they better don't try anything stupid; we both always have a really good laugh after such situations. I don't need to lose my temper because so far no one dared to go a step too far and crossed the line in front of me. However if someone would do as you describe then he would have definitely crossed the line and I would let him know very clearly that I don't appreciate his behavior. Just be firm and let those guys know where the limit is. My wife even went a step further several times and let some of those guys have quite a shock. When she was approached too indecently and the guy was asking for her address she gave them the address and told them to show up in an hour or so knowing that I am at home. Our appartment is next door and connected to my office, so I am always around. If she doesn't come home in time to tell me what happened she calls me to be prepared. The view in the face of the guy standing at the door and expecting my wife but instead being received by me and asking him whether he wants something from my wife is just priceless. We played that game a couple of times and just had great fun. This works well because my wife and me trust each other 100%. Edited November 28, 2009 by TallForeigner Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrHammer Posted November 28, 2009 Share Posted November 28, 2009 How old are you and how old is your wife? If you're an old git and something like 20-30 years older then I would hit on your wife too, meet her for cofee and of we go to a love motel, I'll have her back for dinner though. I'd start paying a little more attention or things could go 'U-turn'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mca Posted November 28, 2009 Share Posted November 28, 2009 well trained muscles. Can they fetch your slippers for you while you're watching the television? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
needforspeed Posted November 28, 2009 Share Posted November 28, 2009 Intresting disussion but need to do some work otherwise i been on Thaivisa for 24/7 next month. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
endure Posted November 28, 2009 Share Posted November 28, 2009 I feel sorry for you "rideswings", but your problem also makes me chuckle a bit. Why? Well, because I know it so well and me and my wife are having great fun with it.I'm happily together with my Thai wife since 12 years now - and she is still very sexy. She doesn't dress provocatively at all but rather elegantly with an excellent taste and sense for some more expensive fashion and jewelry. It still happens on a daily basis that some guys (Thai and Farang) try to chat her up. She is rather amused by the lame attempts of so many and we both have quite a lot of fun with it. When we are together I can see from the way some guys are looking at her what is going on and if I don't spot it, my wife discretely lets me know who is "watching". Since we are together no one ever dared to approach her indecently in front of me - there is a simple reason for that. These guys are all cowards and are not looking for trouble and my appearance makes them think twice. I happen to be 195cm, 110kg built with solid, well trained muscles. I have fun watching those guys checking out my wife and then looking at me and realising that they better don't try anything stupid; we both always have a really good laugh after such situations. I don't need to lose my temper because so far no one dared to go a step too far and crossed the line in front of me. However if someone would do as you describe then he would have definitely crossed the line and I would let him know very clearly that I don't appreciate his behavior. Just be firm and let those guys know where the limit is. My wife even went a step further several times and let some of those guys have quite a shock. When she was approached too indecently and the guy was asking for her address she gave them the address and told them to show up in an hour or so knowing that I am at home. Our appartment is next door and connected to my office, so I am always around. If she doesn't come home in time to tell me what happened she calls me to be prepared. The view in the face of the guy standing at the door and expecting my wife but instead being received by me and asking him whether he wants something from my wife is just priceless. We played that game a couple of times and just had great fun. This works well because my wife and me trust each other 100%. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mca Posted November 28, 2009 Share Posted November 28, 2009 Endure mate. You're either laughing at TallForeigner's tale or laughing at TallForeigner. Which one is it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
endure Posted November 28, 2009 Share Posted November 28, 2009 Endure mate. You're either laughing at TallForeigner's tale or laughing at TallForeigner. Which one is it? Both? All? Either? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TallForeigner Posted November 28, 2009 Share Posted November 28, 2009 The wife and I were looking at apartments a while back and one American guy who was very drunk boxed my wife into a corner and was ready to do something if I hadnt come along and dragged him off of her. This sounds quite serious. This was definitely a very threatening situation and the guy was assaulting your wife. I'm just wondering what did your wife do in that situation. Was she just paralized by fear or was she screaming and yelling and kicking and punching and trying to defend herself or what? You did the right thing and came to her rescue but you don't feel very confident. I know I will be flamed badly for that but please think a moment about getting some professional advice and training on how to cope with such situations. This will give you some skills and also the right mindset and the confidence you need to deal with such situations. My wife for example has many years training in self defense and as a precaution she is carrying a knife and knows well how to use it. My wife and me trained with knives for many years and we had lots of fun training together - I happen to help out with teaching self defense and knife fighting at a local martial arts club. If you are interested to know more about it please send me a PM. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
endure Posted November 28, 2009 Share Posted November 28, 2009 The wife and I were looking at apartments a while back and one American guy who was very drunk boxed my wife into a corner and was ready to do something if I hadnt come along and dragged him off of her. This sounds quite serious. This was definitely a very threatening situation and the guy was assaulting your wife. I'm just wondering what did your wife do in that situation. Was she just paralized by fear or was she screaming and yelling and kicking and punching and trying to defend herself or what? You did the right thing and came to her rescue but you don't feel very confident. I know I will be flamed badly for that but please think a moment about getting some professional advice and training on how to cope with such situations. This will give you some skills and also the right mindset and the confidence you need to deal with such situations. My wife for example has many years training in self defense and as a precaution she is carrying a knife and knows well how to use it. My wife and me trained with knives for many years and we had lots of fun training together - I happen to help out with teaching self defense and knife fighting at a local martial arts club. If you are interested to know more about it please send me a PM. So how does this fit in with the fact that Thailand attempts to be a non-combative culture and that jai yen yen is a standard Thai way of dealing with aggression? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
endure Posted November 28, 2009 Share Posted November 28, 2009 Maybe Im a bit paranoid and a bit jealous, but some guys are stupid and say what they want to whom they want, and others just dont take NO for an answer. The wife and I were looking at apartments a while back and one American guy who was very drunk boxed my wife into a corner Your problem appears to be with Americans rather thath Thais? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TallForeigner Posted November 28, 2009 Share Posted November 28, 2009 (edited) So how does this fit in with the fact that Thailand attempts to be a non-combative culture and that jai yen yen is a standard Thai way of dealing with aggression? Thais usually learn well how to defend themselves if their live and integrity is threatened. They are ready to defend themselves and their country. Look at how important the martial arts culture is here; Muay Thai is the Thai national sport and it's roots are clearly combative and self defense. Don't mix up situations in which your life, your existence or your integrity are actually threatened with day to day confrontations. My own mentality is typically Swiss. We are neutral but ready and well prepared to defend our neutrality and integrity if someone is violating it. Edited November 28, 2009 by TallForeigner Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
personchester Posted November 28, 2009 Share Posted November 28, 2009 Your posting appears to be bases on fantasy, particularly so since you stated that you had the same problem with your first wife/gf, moreover, Thailand is not short of females, sexy or otherwise, as a result males with a keen eye on sexy women have a wide playing field and are not reduced to look at you current companion as their only option to find sexual attraction. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
endure Posted November 28, 2009 Share Posted November 28, 2009 So how does this fit in with the fact that Thailand attempts to be a non-combative culture and that jai yen yen is a standard Thai way of dealing with aggression? Thais usually learn well how to defend themselves if their live and integrity is threatened. They are ready to defend themselves and their country. Look at how important the martial arts culture is here; Muay Thai is the Thai national sport and it's roots are clearly combative and self defense. Don't mix up situations in which your life, your existence or your integrity are actually threatened with day to day confrontations. My own mentality is typically Swiss. We are neutral but ready and well prepared to defend our neutrality and integrity if someone is violating it. And the Thais are ready to defend their nationalism if pushed but would rather spend their time being sanuk which I don't believe that Europe (excuse me if I'm wrong) understands at all? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TallForeigner Posted November 28, 2009 Share Posted November 28, 2009 And the Thais are ready to defend their nationalism if pushed but would rather spend their time being sanuk which I don't believe that Europe (excuse me if I'm wrong) understands at all? I would say that history demonstrates well that Siam was well ready and able to defend its territory and its nation by political and also violent means. Many Thais are absolutely ready and willing to use force once they feel seriously threatened and even to defend their own beliefs - look at the readiness for violence at and around the colored shirts protests this years. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrtoad Posted November 28, 2009 Share Posted November 28, 2009 (edited) Maybe Im a bit paranoid and a bit jealous, but some guys are stupid and say what they want to whom they want, and others just dont take NO for an answer. The wife and I were looking at apartments a while back and one American guy who was very drunk boxed my wife into a corner Your problem appears to be with Americans rather thath Thais? I think his problem is more with himself. Anyway, his wife is quite hot. Edited November 28, 2009 by mrtoad Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bellste Posted November 28, 2009 Share Posted November 28, 2009 (edited) Maybe Im a bit paranoid and a bit jealous, but some guys are stupid and say what they want to whom they want, and others just dont take NO for an answer. The wife and I were looking at apartments a while back and one American guy who was very drunk boxed my wife into a corner and was ready to do something if I hadnt come along and dragged him off of her. Am I paranoid? No. Just because this is LOS, some guys think they can have any woman they want because so many women want farangs.I dont have a temper problem. Im just defending my wife from some jackasses who dont have manners. If you can't take it, divorce her, and stay single. That is my advice. Seems to me, that the jealousy controls your life. Edited November 28, 2009 by bellste Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neverdie Posted November 28, 2009 Share Posted November 28, 2009 Maybe Im a bit paranoid and a bit jealous, but some guys are stupid and say what they want to whom they want, and others just dont take NO for an answer. The wife and I were looking at apartments a while back and one American guy who was very drunk boxed my wife into a corner Your problem appears to be with Americans rather thath Thais? I think his problem is more with himself. Anyway, his wife is quite hot. Now Toadies putting the moves on your wife Rideswings. Seriously though, perhaps you are a little paranoid, having been one of the few people on this thread that actually has her telephone number, I am of the opinion shes pretty hot on you Rideswings, so I suggest next time some tries this tell em to piss off but don't make too much of a fuss over it. Ohh by the way, I did NOT try to hit on ur wife Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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