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Idiotic Tourist Acts I Have Seen Recently


DJ Pat

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When I was shopping for CDs down Khao Sarn Road I could hear an english guy with his girlfriend haggling very loudly and obnoxiously, he had no intention of buying anything and was saying things like " I buy ten CD 400 baht ok" which was well out of a discount range but it was his tone of voice and he never noticed the Thai guys sitting nearby. The poor girl at the stall was an inch away from saying <deleted> off.

He gives up and heads to his next port of call, a wooden elephant stall next to the Cd stall. When again he's again being very over-bearing in that typical British "I'm more superior than you at the office" kind of way he's tapping all the wooden elephants on the head saying "I buy all 100 Baht" Then he goes too far and you all know this is unacceptable and he deserved what he got:

He was gesticulating in a very over the top way saying "Why no discount why no discount" then he did the unthinkable: He tapped the guys head and said "What you have no Buddha in your head?"

The Thai guy just flipped and whacked the Brit full on the nose with a punch and the <deleted> went sprawling over clutching his water bottle, then his girlfriend turned to me and said "Can you help us? Do you speak Thai?"

I said "He's beyond help now, have you read a guide to etiquette in Thailand about touching heads and the Buddhist religion?"

"No"

"Then I suggest your boyfriend reads one"

A few Thais held back their friend and the I was so sure the guy was going to say "But I'm British, how can he do that to me?

I walked off shaking my head.

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Som nam naa alright.

Songkran is a time where you see all sorts of really stupid things. The Thai people, generally speaking, are really respectful when it comes to putting powder on the face and when squirting water pistols.

Why do Farang go straight for the eyes? Drives me nuts. Gives me the shits. Hate it. A friend of mine copped a beauty right in the eyes today from one of those really high powered water pistols. Idiot. The chest or neck is as high as you should go in my opinion.

Anyway that's my whine about Songkran. I love it. Best festival in the world.

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He was gesticulating in a very over the top way saying "Why no discount why no discount" then he did the unthinkable: He tapped the guys head and said "What you have no Buddha in your head?"

Incredible, I don't think there's fix for people like this, he probably always has been an A-hole no matter where he finds himself,

Unfortunately his behavior and ignorance reflects on the rest of us, :o

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I have this vision of a North London dinner party sometime over the coming Summer. Gerry will be pouring Simon a lager.

'So Simon, tell us all about your trip to Thailand this Spring. How was it?'

'Oh it was a truly cultural experience Gerry. Picture the sight of ancient temple ruins resplendent in the sunlight, the steamy rainforest as seen from elephant-back, we had a real cultural insight'

'So did it all go without a hitch'

Yah, except when I got twatted on Khao San Road but it wasn't my fault. That place is such a tourist trap that someone must have pissed him off before I gave him a playful pat on the head...........'

Edited by ProfessorFart
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I have this vision of a North London dinner party sometime over the coming Summer. Gerry will be pouring Simon a lager.

'So Simon, tell us all about your trip to Thailand this Spring. How was it?'

'Oh it was a truly cultural experience Gerry. Picture the sight of ancient temple ruins resplendent in the sunlight, the steamy rainforest as seen from elephant-back, we had a real cultural insight'

'So did it all go without a hitch'

Yah, except when I got twatted on Khao San Road but it wasn't my fault. That place is such a tourist trap that someone must have pissed him off before I gave him a playful pat on the head...........'

:o

Oh please Cynthia , pass me the wine , a right native animal he was , wasn't he darling .

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I have this vision of a North London dinner party sometime over the coming Summer. Gerry will be pouring Simon a lager.

'So Simon, tell us all about your trip to Thailand this Spring. How was it?'

'Oh it was a truly cultural experience Gerry. Picture the sight of ancient temple ruins resplendent in the sunlight, the steamy rainforest as seen from elephant-back, we had a real cultural insight'

'So did it all go without a hitch'

Yah, except when I got twatted on Khao San Road but it wasn't my fault. That place is such a tourist trap that someone must have pissed him off before I gave him a playful pat on the head...........'

:D

Oh please Cynthia , pass me the wine , a right native animal he was , wasn't he darling .

Now that some funny S**T , sometimes you guys kill me . :o

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I have this vision of a North London dinner party sometime over the coming Summer. Gerry will be pouring Simon a lager.

'So Simon, tell us all about your trip to Thailand this Spring. How was it?'

'Oh it was a truly cultural experience Gerry. Picture the sight of ancient temple ruins resplendent in the sunlight, the steamy rainforest as seen from elephant-back, we had a real cultural insight'

'So did it all go without a hitch'

Yah, except when I got twatted on Khao San Road but it wasn't my fault. That place is such a tourist trap that someone must have pissed him off before I gave him a playful pat on the head...........'

Professor,I am not teasing this time but you are really so preoccupied with class that it distorts your judgement.In the anecdote above Gerry from North London banging on about picturesque Thailand is a rather silly though no doubt well meaning professional person, probably middle or upper middle class -right? It is completely inconceivable that the same Gerry in KSR would be such a thoughtless scumbag as illustrated in your anecdote.Let's face it while not impossible that such a creep would be of the educated middle class, its much more likely he would be a stereotypical modern British prole.So your anecdote doesn't really make any sense.Surely on reflection, because I can see you are no fool, you recognise I at least have a point.

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Funny, some of the rudest Brits I have met have been middle class and some of the nicest "working class proles" as you put it.

I'll add a story to the mix. We have some crazy balding older Australian guy staying in the area. He comes in for a coffee which one of our girls makes (freshly brewed, not nescafe). When he goes to pay she tells him 30 baht (it's on the menu too) which he refuses to pay and gives her 20 baht after arguing with her about the price. This is the same fool that wants to buy my husband's speedboat and take it around the peninsula, up the Andaman sea side and over to India. In a 14' speedboat! If he can't afford the ten baht for the coffee he surely can't afford the boat.

Talked to the owner of the bungalows he is staying at, he has scared off all his other guests and refuses to pay. Police time I think. Or just beat the crap out of him and toss him out. Either one works.

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Funny, some of the rudest Brits I have met have been middle class and some of the nicest "working class proles" as you put it.

I'll add a story to the mix. We have some crazy balding older Australian guy staying in the area. He comes in for a coffee which one of our girls makes (freshly brewed, not nescafe). When he goes to pay she tells him 30 baht (it's on the menu too) which he refuses to pay and gives her 20 baht after arguing with her about the price. This is the same fool that wants to buy my husband's speedboat and take it around the peninsula, up the Andaman sea side and over to India. In a 14' speedboat! If he can't afford the ten baht for the coffee he surely can't afford the boat.

Talked to the owner of the bungalows he is staying at, he has scared off all his other guests and refuses to pay. Police time I think. Or just beat the crap out of him and toss him out. Either one works.

On your first para I actually agree with you.The upper classes can be abominably rude but it tends to be verbal, or through showing indifference.It would be unlikely however to take the form of banging somebody on the head in KSR.I also agree the decency of the traditional working class:my father was a great example.My use of the word "prole" is simply to differentiate the scummier element.

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I have this vision of a North London dinner party sometime over the coming Summer. Gerry will be pouring Simon a lager.

'So Simon, tell us all about your trip to Thailand this Spring. How was it?'

'Oh it was a truly cultural experience Gerry. Picture the sight of ancient temple ruins resplendent in the sunlight, the steamy rainforest as seen from elephant-back, we had a real cultural insight'

'So did it all go without a hitch'

Yah, except when I got twatted on Khao San Road but it wasn't my fault. That place is such a tourist trap that someone must have pissed him off before I gave him a playful pat on the head...........'

Professor,I am not teasing this time but you are really so preoccupied with class that it distorts your judgement.In the anecdote above Gerry from North London banging on about picturesque Thailand is a rather silly though no doubt well meaning professional person, probably middle or upper middle class -right? It is completely inconceivable that the same Gerry in KSR would be such a thoughtless scumbag as illustrated in your anecdote.Let's face it while not impossible that such a creep would be of the educated middle class, its much more likely he would be a stereotypical modern British prole.So your anecdote doesn't really make any sense.Surely on reflection, because I can see you are no fool, you recognise I at least have a point.

Boris,here is some technical Thai Visa jargon:

1) A witty retort: a lot of people use this form of conversation to show their views in a light hearted manner.

2) A joke: Some of our more humerous writers use this instead of a witty retort.

3) Light hearted banter: Normally used between two or more people that know each other.

4) Take the p1ss: An outsider commenting on no.3

5) Tongue in cheek (not to be confused with tongue in arsch): A remark not to be taken too seriousl,but serious enough to provoke outbursts from the more touchy poster.(See 6)

6) A stupid pillock: Someone like you who can't understand no's 1-5

Edited by lampard10
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nothing too recent, but i have constantly seen tourists treating all thai girls as if they are "working girls" (my wife included)

Mine works behind a desk in a classy hotel and still gets "offers" from these idiots. :D

I think I mentioned this one before but a backpacker on a bus in Chaing Rai with his flip-flop covered feet hanging up over the top of the seat in front of him and some older Thai woman (60-ish) cringing down in the seat. :o

A guy teasing a Burmese kid by offering a coin, and pulling it away like some would tease a dog to make it jump for a treat.

cv

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Boris calls me class obsessed when I never mentioned class, and then writes 2 paragraphs about class.......I rest my case!

Having got that off your chest, go back and read the thread again carefully.As for me it's too hot on this Songkran afternoon to think more about this any more.

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