Who's Gained From Thailand

[bkkmadness]

Your'll have to bear with me a minute or two here and I'm not sure you will fully understand my meaning as I've had a few drinks and it seems to me like a hard point to get across to seasoned expats who love living in Thailand so much or maybe not as the case may be.

I was just listening to the kinks and 'waterloo sunset' tonight and being a London lad I got a little homesick and of course I miss my family, friends, foods, the cold and a host of other things, but it led me to thinking would I in future years regret leaving a city as vibrant as London in my mid 20s to come to Asia?

I've taken a lot from Thailand, don't get me wrong and I know I have had friends, gfs, experiences here that are an obvious plus to my life and much cherished, but did I sell out my own country for an escape to Thailand?

If I had stayed in London, despite being in a crap sitaution at the time would things have improved and would I have had as much fun and different experiences if I had stayed in London? I sure didn't experience it all by 23 yrs old though I saw lot of it.

I know it's a question tinged with greed about impossibly wanting two things at the same time, and I know it's impossible to predict the future and what would have been the better move, but the question I am really asking is do you think Thailand has given you enough in your life to sacrifice life in your own country for?

Have I missed out on my mate's lifes changing, my parent's years, my country's changes? Have you?

Bear in mind Im 28 here and life isn't so simple for me yet (will it ever be?) and directions in life are often hard to find when you are not married or have kids and of course I'm a bit drunk .

And no disrespect to the people that come here and then go home every 6 months but this is a question aimed more for the people that have lived here for a while without hardly visiting home. It may be a question that relates more to the younger expats as well, but of course anybody's thoughts are welcome.

Edited April 14, 2005 by bkkmadness

[ThaiPauly]

Blimey BK you start drinking early, you wanna watch that, you really should start the day with coffee not Vodka

Seriously though, I am from the Smoke myself, and I understand where you are coming from with this post.

I think that anybody that says they don't miss home, wherever that may be is fooling themselves. It would be unnatural, (unless you are on the run) not to.

I miss my parents the most, and I know my Mum misses me a lot. Maybee I am fortunate that I can go back whenever I choose, but those visits are not as often as they used to be. If I want to see my Kids I pay for them to come over otherwise I would not see them.

I don't feel I am missing out on anything back home, sure I miss my mates as well as I am sure you do, but there are so many threads on TV asking what you miss most about your home, it always makes me feel good as there are not many things apart from family ties that I miss.

I am sure (although I dont for one second speak for all) that its pretty obvious that we all prefer to be where we are than back home, otherwise that is where we would be.

If ever you feel homesick , get a piece of paper and in one column write all of the things that you miss back home, and in the other column write about all the things that are great about LOS, if your first column is longer than the second, go home.

BTW Waterloo Sunset was the greatest Kinks record IMHO

Now have another Vodka BK and do the test Only joking, heavy night last night eh!!

[bkkmadness]

Blimey BK you start drinking early, you wanna watch that, you really should start the day with coffee not Vodka

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

sometimes you gotta skip a couple of meals and pull an all nighter

I am ok with the missing home part coz I can always visit, my point so poorly put across was do you feel your've missed out on not your family, friends and food and whatever but your years back home?

ok, i gotta pass out, discuss all sober people.

edited due to crazy spelling mistakes

Edited April 15, 2005 by bkkmadness

[ThaiPauly]

Err Ok then, understand now.

NOTHING

[autonomous_unit]

I am ok with the missing home part coz I can always visit, my point so poorly put across was do you feel your've missed out on not your family, friends and food and whatever but your years back home?

I think you hit on this in your first post: you cannot be in two places at once, physically, mentally, nor emotionally. So yeah, you miss out on all the other paths you've not chosen... sometimes we tell ourselves it is OK because we'll get back to those paths later. We hope they haven't changed too much, but as you're realizing, it doesn't matter because _we_ have changed.

I think there is a point in life (which you might just be hitting), where you start having a tinge of regret for all the things you cannot go back and do because you'll never be LIKE that again. You can never be as fresh and naive and free as you were as a child---barring serious self-denial or repression. I'm just a few years older than you, and I have them more than once, but even westerners say I think too much for my own good. Of course, there are lots of new ways to see things for the same reason: you're not LIKE that anymore and don't have the same faults of youth.

You suggested that marriage makes things simple. I hate to break it to you, but marriage is one of those big life decisions where you contemplate very big apples/oranges values for yourself. It's where you try to weigh a basket of experiences against Experience. I miss the western US in the sense people posted above of particular comforts and experiences, but also in the sense of not spending my "prime" years where I expected. However, I kind of knew that going into my relationship w/ my wife, so I don't have regrets. Overall, I'd hate to think where I might be now if I'd made different decisions, even though I'd be more comfortable career-wise and in society in general.

[Thetyim]

When I was nine years old the British Government did something that made me realise the UK was not for me.

When I was 30 the government upset me again.

I have been here for ten years now, no regrets about leaving UK.

[astral]

But the ba####ds won't pay the full pension if you live in Thailand.

Malaysia yes, Thailand NO!!!

[sua yai]

Hey bkkmadness,

One thing is that you're only 28. I moved over here at 40 from London and I'd be lying to myself, let alone anyone else, if I said I hadn't thought about the potential consequences of that action.

Unlike yourself - and I don't know what you were doing in the UK - it would be a little hard for me to return to the UK now at almost 47 and expect to find a potential employer who'd take me seriously. I made my decision years ago, leaving a senior position with a publishing company and I have to live with that.

For me, the experiences I've had over here more than make up for the lost income in the UK. Do I miss anything else? Of course I do, but as a previous poster said, there are always swings and roundabouts. You're the only one who can weigh things up properly.

BTW - I'm on my first Chang. Off to the temple in 30 mins or so to see the missus. Need some fortification!!

[kreon]

gained a lot, freedom of speech, big brother, no taxes, nice weather, great gals, never saw those back home

mind you i moved to asia when i was 37 and financially secure for the rest of my life

to start from scratch now that's another story, i still have valueable contacts build-up before i got here that i can draw up-on, that i could never make here

and, if needed, europe is only a 12-hour flight away

[Nignoy]

But the ba####ds won't pay the full pension if you live in Thailand.

Malaysia yes, Thailand NO!!!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Why worry!! Australia wont pay you any pension at all if you live permanently in Thailand Nignoy

[surg]

Don't know if I qualify for this post but feel like giving it a shot.

I am 52 years old. Have been pretty much of a "wild child" all my life and am very dissapointed in my choice to retire here.

I am a night person, "sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll" is my life style, even now.

I am bored to tears here. I remember when Bangkok was fun.

It appears that the "toxin" has spread all over the country and damaged it's people, as well as its night life.

I expected to spend the rest of my life here but now am thinking of going back.

[The_Eye_Of_Sauron]

I have missed funerals of family in UK by virtue of the distance. An inability of an expat to participate in that last small act of love is a regret and downside.

[kreon]

Don't know if I qualify for this post but feel like giving it a shot.

I am 52 years old.  Have been pretty much of a "wild child" all my life and am very dissapointed in my choice to retire here.

I am a night person, "sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll" is my life style, even now.

I am bored to tears here.  I remember when Bangkok was fun. 

It appears that the "toxin" has spread all over the country and damaged it's people, as well as its night life.

I expected to spend the rest of my life here but now am thinking of going back.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

welcome to the club, for a change try once in a wjhile jakarta, phnom penh, its to early to go yet

[Thomas_Merton]

Your'll have to bear with me a minute or two here and I'm not sure you will fully understand my meaning as I've had a few drinks and it seems to me like a hard point to get across to seasoned expats who love living in Thailand so much or maybe not as the case may be.

I was just listening to the kinks and 'waterloo sunset' tonight and being a London lad I got a little homesick and of course I miss my family, friends, foods, the cold and a host of other things, but it led me to thinking would I in future years regret leaving a city as vibrant as London in my mid 20s to come to Asia?

I've taken a lot from Thailand, don't get me wrong and I know I have had friends, gfs, experiences here that are an obvious plus to my life and much cherished, but did I sell out my own country for an escape to Thailand?

If I had stayed in London, despite being in a crap sitaution at the time would things have improved and would I have had as much fun and different experiences if I had stayed in London?  I sure didn't experience it all by 23 yrs old though I saw lot of it.

I know it's a question tinged with greed about impossibly wanting two things at the same time, and I know it's impossible to predict the future and what would have been the better move, but the question I am really asking is do you think Thailand has given you enough in your life to sacrifice life in your own country for?

Have I missed out on my mate's lifes changing, my parent's years, my country's changes?  Have you?

Bear in mind Im 28 here and life isn't so simple for me yet (will it ever be?) and directions in life are often hard to find when you are not married or have kids and of course I'm a bit drunk .

And no disrespect to the people that come here and then go home every 6 months but this is a question aimed more for the people that have lived here for a while without hardly visiting home.  It may be a question that relates more to the younger expats as well, but of course anybody's thoughts are welcome.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I'm over twice your age and had (up until last year) spent over 30 years out of the UK.

My first phase, of what you are experiencing now, was perhaps much more trivial; after 5 years away, I was gripped with an uncontrollable urge for a pint of bitter, fish and chips and a bar of Cadbury's Bournville.

I went back. Consumed all three before I left Heathrow. Threw the lot up. It was a very short visit.

Family has finally brought me back. The need for my son to experience his English family, and vice versa.

This is where the real regrets lie: missing my mother's time with her second husband, and not being with her throughout his long and fatal illness.

But this is where the real positives are too. My family, which is quite large, treat me as though I was only away a week. And strangely enough, I feel almost as though I have never been away. Of course there are lots of "technical" differences, like diet, unshared experiences (no-one in my family ever travels out of the UK). But they seem insignificant, compared to the ties that bind us.

The UK has always been an enigma to me. But returning home does allow me to treat it more as a foreign land and accept more of the eccentricities that normally would have pissed me off.

As far as old mates are concerned. We will meet now and then in the pub, but I feel we talk a different language now. Not only in the way we talk, but those experiences of LOS, the Middle East and Scandinavia that have moulded my being, have no meaning to them.

Maybe I am learning, as possibly you are about to, we are all just ships in the night.

[The_Other_Mac]

Your'll have to bear with me a minute or two here and I'm not sure you will fully understand my meaning as I've had a few drinks and it seems to me like a hard point to get across to seasoned expats who love living in Thailand so much or maybe not as the case may be.

I was just listening to the kinks and 'waterloo sunset' tonight and being a London lad I got a little homesick and of course I miss my family, friends, foods, the cold and a host of other things, but it led me to thinking would I in future years regret leaving a city as vibrant as London in my mid 20s to come to Asia?

I've taken a lot from Thailand, don't get me wrong and I know I have had friends, gfs, experiences here that are an obvious plus to my life and much cherished, but did I sell out my own country for an escape to Thailand?

If I had stayed in London, despite being in a crap sitaution at the time would things have improved and would I have had as much fun and different experiences if I had stayed in London?  I sure didn't experience it all by 23 yrs old though I saw lot of it.

I know it's a question tinged with greed about impossibly wanting two things at the same time, and I know it's impossible to predict the future and what would have been the better move, but the question I am really asking is do you think Thailand has given you enough in your life to sacrifice life in your own country for?

Have I missed out on my mate's lifes changing, my parent's years, my country's changes?  Have you?

Bear in mind Im 28 here and life isn't so simple for me yet (will it ever be?) and directions in life are often hard to find when you are not married or have kids and of course I'm a bit drunk .

And no disrespect to the people that come here and then go home every 6 months but this is a question aimed more for the people that have lived here for a while without hardly visiting home.  It may be a question that relates more to the younger expats as well, but of course anybody's thoughts are welcome.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

BK - I'm about the same age and length of time here, from Dublin. I've never been back for a visit. My standard response to "what do you miss" used to be "Guinness". To be honest, I also missed the nightlife. Since I've had to give up alcohol for medical reasons, I s'pose I wouldn't have those anyway.

What else? I missed my friends, the big warm social circle I tore myself away from. On the other hand, looking back over there, many of my friends went off to other or home countries. Maybe it would have been different, maybe I would have met new people, maybe I'd be nostalgic for the old days, probably I'd be wishing I'd moved abroad.

The only thing I'm sure of is that my life there would not have stayed the same as it was then. So I think about it, but I don't believe I could have held onto it, and I wouldn't say I miss it.

[Dakhar]

As for me, I look forward to the leave of America and the rat race that is here for me.

Truthfully, I am a stress case, it is my nature to stress.... don't sleep worth a darn, I was diagnosed with high blood presure and high cholesterol at age 29. My job is stressful etc. I need the the Thai layed back life style.

If I stayed in America, I would probably die a lot earlier. I love Thailand, I love how layed back it is. I need the slower pace.

So when I get there on a permanent bassis, I already know the answer to the question, was the life I gave up worth giving up for Thailand..... Oh yes it surely is.

[DJ Pat]

I'm a Londoner and I must admit, though soppy as it is, the film "Love Actually" made me miss London a little.

[bkkmadness]

lol, 'love actually' done that to me to, the scenes along the riverside and London at Christmas. 'Wonderland' is another great british film that really reminds me of home.

[DJ Pat]

Probably because they made London look so 'nice'

[bkkmadness]

if it looked the way it was in 'love actually' i'd probably still be there.

best film to watch if your homesick for London 'nil by mouth', it certainly makes you glad to be in Thailand.

[bambob]

my pal trevor moved to LOS 10 years ago with his wife Lek , sold his house in Twickenham for 250,000 . He teaches english for a pittance really .

The situation now is he cant get a hardon ,his wife is pissed off and about to leave him and the house he sold back then is now worth 900,000.

did he make the right move ??

in money terms he has lost 550,000 over the last 10 years .

and he is unlikely ever to raise the 'old chap' again !!

[Belfastboy]

im 27 and from the UK bkkmadness....i have a beautiful educated thai wife and living in the UK is fine....im totally in 2 minds about what to do ...whether to up and leave and live in thailand or stay here in the UK.....

UK gets a bad press and i guess its a british thing always to bring people down to earth and be down beat a bit.....but put things in perpective....

UK is a great country, it is really...yes the weather is shit...yes there are loads of drunken violence on the weekend...but if u had to grow up in thailand or the UK...

where would u choose....?

free decent education....free milk!

if u cant get a job the government will apy for u...if u have kids they help u financially....housing....healthcare...( yes i know its maybe not the greatest in the world but its FREE for gods sake what more so u want...

put it this way.....the main and only reason people move to thailand is the GIRLS...be honest guys.....if the girls where like farangs in the UK would u be living there?? seriously...i would question it....thailand weather is nice but its bloody uncomfortable at times and mix that with the pollution,makes for a nasty cocktail...

think of all those great things in the UK ...u can actually walk down the street without inhaling a cocktail of fumes...and breaking a sweat and no katoeys to avoid or annoying street vendors....

yes i admit life here isnt perfect....but where is guys??

my point is ....take the girls out of thailand and what have u got? would u live there then?

BE HONEST

[Rumpole]

^Add to the above, no preposterous immigration regulations (for citizens, at least); possibility to start your own business or do a job other than teach English to lacklustre Thai students for abusive and exploitative Thai employers; reasonably honest police and legal system; laws that are actually enforced; consumer rights; excellent libraries and second-hand bookshops; ridiculously cheap flights to interesting countries; nice wine at reasonable prices; good internet connections; social life which doesn't necessarily revolve around booze and whores; theatre; world-class museums and art galleries; cosmopolitan and multi-cultural cities; interesting architecture; people who can converse about current and world affairs, theatre, art, literature. People who are interested in you as a person, rather than just as a potential source of income.

Two years of continuously living in Thailand (as opposed to just having an extended holiday there), made me realize how few of the things I enjoy in life the place actually has to offer.

Edited April 16, 2005 by Rumpole

[Dakhar]

A question was raised, if there was not an abundance of beautiful women.... would I still want to be in Thailand. Well yes, my wife is Thai, we met in America, and at the point of my marriage, the question of us returning there in the future was not even raised.... I just assumed we would live in the states... I assumed wrong. But now that I have been to Thailand several times, I am in full support of moving there. Just need the right amount of money first.... but looking at the lifestyle, and the oppertunity to retire before the age of 40yr old..... Heck yea I want to be in Thailand.

[Ted]

bkkmadness, I think the best thing for you to do is to go back and try living in England for a while. I'm around the same age as you and I did just that - went back. After spending 3 years in Asia I returned to back to Blighty to work in London.

It was less than a year and a half later that I magaged to get a transfer back out to Asia! Was it a good thing to go back? ###### yeah - because now I know for sure my futures out here

[Nignoy]

bkkmadness, I think the best thing for you to do is to go back and try living in England for a while. I'm around the same age as you and I did just that - went back. After spending 3 years in Asia I returned to back to Blighty to work in London.

It was less than a year and a half later that I magaged to get a transfer back out to Asia! Was it a good thing to go back? ###### yeah - because now I know for sure my futures out here 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

After reading all the previous threads had to smile at a few, My wife and I are just moving to thailand, we are both british australian, first time i Visited Thailand was in 1962 I lived in villages in the North east for over 4years, took my wife for her first visit in 1972 we have been coming back ever since and we made it our goal to retire to thailand a long time ago, belfastboy talks of the uk govt taking care of you socially, tell that to the families of the soldiers killed on active service in NE thailand from 162 till 1968, who,s deaths were covered up by lies and were first admitted in 1989 when they australian government shamed them into admitting it, you will find lots of people want to live in thailand simply because its their choice !!who wants to live in a grey country full of grey people with only the dole and cold grey nights to the end of your days Nignoy

[bkkmadness]

bkkmadness, I think the best thing for you to do is to go back and try living in England for a while. I'm around the same age as you and I did just that - went back. After spending 3 years in Asia I returned to back to Blighty to work in London.

It was less than a year and a half later that I magaged to get a transfer back out to Asia! Was it a good thing to go back? ###### yeah - because now I know for sure my futures out here 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

It'd would take me about a week and half or dagenham before I was on the next flight back

Hmm, ok, original point poorly made of course, but I think what I was trying to say was it's not about what you/I miss now, coz that's easily solved with a quick visit, but do you/I regret what I have missed over the years that have already passed?

[Simbo]

I get all choked up when I hear, ' Ferry cross the Mersey' But I tell myself to' Calm down, calm down. Then I'm all right.

[booma]

Any friends that return to London from lengthly stays abroad enjoy themselves for a few days and then get bored and want to leave again, myself included. I've just seen a friend who had stayed in Germany for seven years and then Italy for 2 months, he's been back for a week and is already talking about his expected regret of returning and a girl popped over from Fuerteventura who talked all night about her dislike of the UK. I saw both these people In one night, hmmm.

People who have lived abroad for a while know I should leave for a new live in LoS, whilst those that haven't try to persuade me to stay!!!!! says it all.

There is nothing going on in London (today it is the London Marathon, big bloody deal), if you can afford to visit every now and then you have it sussed in my book.

Booze is a depressant, you are probably just missing being sober...

B

[sendbaht]

I'm with you dakhar, but for me it's retirement at 55.

Married to a educated Thai lady, met her here in America. We live in Southern California where the weather

is perfect. We love it here but would be able to retire at 80 if we stay. I enjoy Thailand and have for many decades.

I look forward to our move in a few short years. Thailand here we come.