Do You Let Thai Men Hold Your 7 Mth Old Baby Daugter

[Harcourt]

You say that you mean no disrespect, but when you say, "....i have told my wife not to let thai men hold my daughter...." you disrespect an entire nation. You imply that all Thai men are dirty, diseased, and molesters.

I make a small allowance for your gross disrespect by the fact of the paranoia of a new parent. As one of the first replies to you said, by the time you get to child 3, you will laugh at your over-protective behaviour.

[carmine]

Is it possible that the OP has said "thai men" because he lives in an area where there are no foreigners. I do doubt it but just a thought.....

[neverdie]

Motorcycle Taxi guys used to pick my son up, but after he had headbutted them, they never bothered again.

Teach your kids how to headbut people, problem solved.

Love it, more maigo magic.

Perhaps we are going to see a little maigo6 jnr on here in no time, chewing out the other posters for anything that maigo6 snr misses out on doing.

[thaiozy]

allways worrying thoughts when having children especially your first,but as the members are saying,loosen up a little.

& yes you have moved to a cultural change but that`s not to say it can`t happen back home.

I`m sure that someone a little drunk at the backyard bbq has done the same but as we men know women are a very protective species & would cut out the gooley`s if anything happened (i`m sure it wasn`t your wifes fault IT`S A THAI THING

I have a beautiful 1 year old lad which the women adore, & often go outside & ask where he is if not with my wife, but found him across the road with sister in the house of neighour & they all look after him.

It`s common for us farangs to worry Maybe that`s why wwe are in Thai NO WORRY & i myself worry a littlle but think of the above

[2008bangkok]

we are in Thailand man relaz and sleep zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

[too true]

How unfortunate that the OP's wife seems to come from a village where ALL the men (apart from the OP, of course) are constantly drunk and unfit to take of even their own children, which is what his post seems to insinuate. How awful to live around people you have no respect for.

Makes me feel lucky to have a partner who comes from a village where I can trust the men to take my kids out to see the cows in the fields or to the shop to buy a snack or to go hunting for bugs.

There was once, and only once, a man who did something inappropriate in front of my kids (nothing sexual at all), but a quick jab between the eyes from hubby along with the scorn of the whole village, and that man basically had no choice but to pack his bags and find somewhere else to live (he was related by marriage, not blood).

[blue eyes]

I have this same problem.I could not stand all of the kissing,cheek pinching and holding that they have done with my daughter.But she is now 4yr and she is just fine.The one thing that I ALWAYS got enraged about was when someone would take her and disappear.My wife would say "it ok she with my friend".But where the hel_l is she "with my friend".The never ending story/With my friend...........Beat me with a stick until I accept it...................

[soundman]

Posts have been removed. Please try to discuss in a civil manner.

[MSingh]

I'm disturbed by the ops's choice of words. Is there a specific reason why you only specified "thai men". Would you be ok for a "western man" of the same level of acquaintance hold her then?

Why on Earth would you be disturbed ??

The Man who the OP found handling his Kid was Thai, was a Man & was a drunken one at that, what do you want him to say ??

dmax, i had/have the same issues with my little one, sadly though & the reality of it is something that many ramble on about on here, i do so myself & it's something in many aspects, we'll never understand..

It's a cultural difference, what we perceive to " not be right " in the West isn't necessarily what is perceived to be " not right " here & you simply just have to get used to that or your completely wasting your time here & will live in a living hel_l bubble..

However, a drunk holding a 7 Month Baby is scandalous & you're well within your rights to have the hump in my opinion..

& yeah, all the touching stuff that you mention, i agree wholheartedly with you, but good luck telling your Missus that basically, her people are walkign diseases, even though it's probably right..

This place is different, for so many reasons, some good & some bad, some not wrong & some not right, it's just different that's all & is, at the end of the day, an extremely uneducated Country especially when you are talkign about the rural areas that you mention & in subjects such as health & hygeiene although again, how we perceive health & hygeine standards to be in the West, overall,..

[MSingh]

How unfortunate that the OP's wife seems to come from a village where ALL the men (apart from the OP, of course) are constantly drunk and unfit to take of even their own children, which is what his post seems to insinuate. How awful to live around people you have no respect for.

Makes me feel lucky to have a partner who comes from a village where I can trust the men to take my kids out to see the cows in the fields or to the shop to buy a snack or to go hunting for bugs.

There was once, and only once, a man who did something inappropriate in front of my kids (nothing sexual at all), but a quick jab between the eyes from hubby along with the scorn of the whole village, and that man basically had no choice but to pack his bags and find somewhere else to live (he was related by marriage, not blood).

It's initials ( the Village i mean ) are not AA are they & it's not in Isaan is it ??

& sorry, could you just enlighten me a little more, you're saying a Man done something inappropriate, not sexual, in front of your Kid & it seperated his Marraige & made him move somewhere else because of the scorn of of the whole entire Village due to this none sexual act, after a quick jab in the eyes from you or his Gay Partner who he was married to ???

Or are you married to a Thai & you're Female, that could be whta it is ???

[Neeranam]

I started a thread some time ago about Thai men touching my 6 year old daughter but I can't find it.

[britadders28]

Strangers kissing your baby can lead to cold sores in the future, also i know many young thai children that have gone to stay at friends houses and ended up with hep B so i can see where the op is coming from.

Also once met a french lady that had a blonde little boy and she was getting very frustrated with thais keep pinching his cheeks, the poor kid was actually having nightmares about it but the thais kept doing it with their stupid grins on their faces. SO maybe you are being a bit over protected but there are many things to be careful with including germs and diseases. Also why do thais think its ok to touch your kids private parts to check if they are boy or girl, some parents would kill somebody for doing that

[nevets]

Thai people do not touch with the mouth as in a kiss, they go close and sniff , touching with the mouth kissing is a western way .

[mstribling]

Seems like a scared, old white man.Chillax

[NaiGreg]

Whew! I thought the title was "Do you let 7 Thai men hold your month-old baby?"

Now that would be disturbing.

[gvallee2]

biggest reason i want to become fluent in thai is to yell at all the mentally challenged people who pickup children even if they scream in terror.

Would also be interesting to see statistic on children drowning or getting into serious accident, west vs thailand. Must be much higher here with parents being unresponsible.

Just in my moobaan, this women has 1 kid, no job and her mom is with her 24/7. her kid managed to drown in the pool before turning 1 year..

How do u live a child under 1 year old alone long enough for it to crawl or semi-walk to the pool then not get back in time to save it? Well its the mai pen rai thai way. how many times have i seen 6 adults around a kid and they dont stop the kid from running to the OPENED PROPANE BURNER untill his hand is almost touching it.

Which is why leaving your kid with randomish thais is NOT a good idea Theres the same kind of people in the west too, but THERES MORE OF THEM here so theres no reason for all the retired bored people to be defending thais.

Also please remember that in this country, everything is built by non-qualified labor. Theres electricity wires coming out of the road, holes everywhere and rats. Supervision should be upped by 10 folds (while the average thai is -10 in vigilence)

[too true]

If you're referring to my partner's village, no, it's not Isaan, but I don't think that's an issue and I would never make someone's hometown an issue. There are drunks everywhere in the world.

Yes, a man, my mother in law's partner as a matter of fact (FIL died when hubby was 17), did something so inappropriate that my husband punched him in the face. It didn't just end with the village. My husband took it to the tambon police and had that man sign a paper, basically a restraining order, that said he would not spend time in that village or at that house, even though we live 1000km away from there. His mother, unfortunately but understandably in her circumstances, left the village with him and moved back to his village.

I'm not gay. Yes, I'm western and my husband is Thai. Although I don't see what that has to do with anything. I'm nothing but proud of him for dealing with the situation in a way that took care of an ongoing problem, which goes far beyond just the straw that broke the camel's back (hubby being the camel).

How unfortunate that the OP's wife seems to come from a village where ALL the men (apart from the OP, of course) are constantly drunk and unfit to take of even their own children, which is what his post seems to insinuate. How awful to live around people you have no respect for.

Makes me feel lucky to have a partner who comes from a village where I can trust the men to take my kids out to see the cows in the fields or to the shop to buy a snack or to go hunting for bugs.

There was once, and only once, a man who did something inappropriate in front of my kids (nothing sexual at all), but a quick jab between the eyes from hubby along with the scorn of the whole village, and that man basically had no choice but to pack his bags and find somewhere else to live (he was related by marriage, not blood).

It's initials ( the Village i mean ) are not AA are they & it's not in Isaan is it ??

& sorry, could you just enlighten me a little more, you're saying a Man done something inappropriate, not sexual, in front of your Kid & it seperated his Marraige & made him move somewhere else because of the scorn of of the whole entire Village due to this none sexual act, after a quick jab in the eyes from you or his Gay Partner who he was married to ???

Or are you married to a Thai & you're Female, that could be whta it is ???

[Boo]

don't worry too true, being a women married to a thai man negates you being able to have an opinion about this according to some posters!! Cause hel_l, what would we know about thai men or raising kids right?

[sbk]

If you're referring to my partner's village, no, it's not Isaan, but I don't think that's an issue and I would never make someone's hometown an issue. There are drunks everywhere in the world.

Yes, a man, my mother in law's partner as a matter of fact (FIL died when hubby was 17), did something so inappropriate that my husband punched him in the face. It didn't just end with the village. My husband took it to the tambon police and had that man sign a paper, basically a restraining order, that said he would not spend time in that village or at that house, even though we live 1000km away from there. His mother, unfortunately but understandably in her circumstances, left the village with him and moved back to his village.

I'm not gay. Yes, I'm western and my husband is Thai. Although I don't see what that has to do with anything. I'm nothing but proud of him for dealing with the situation in a way that took care of an ongoing problem, which goes far beyond just the straw that broke the camel's back (hubby being the camel).

How unfortunate that the OP's wife seems to come from a village where ALL the men (apart from the OP, of course) are constantly drunk and unfit to take of even their own children, which is what his post seems to insinuate. How awful to live around people you have no respect for.

Makes me feel lucky to have a partner who comes from a village where I can trust the men to take my kids out to see the cows in the fields or to the shop to buy a snack or to go hunting for bugs.

There was once, and only once, a man who did something inappropriate in front of my kids (nothing sexual at all), but a quick jab between the eyes from hubby along with the scorn of the whole village, and that man basically had no choice but to pack his bags and find somewhere else to live (he was related by marriage, not blood).

It's initials ( the Village i mean ) are not AA are they & it's not in Isaan is it ??

& sorry, could you just enlighten me a little more, you're saying a Man done something inappropriate, not sexual, in front of your Kid & it seperated his Marraige & made him move somewhere else because of the scorn of of the whole entire Village due to this none sexual act, after a quick jab in the eyes from you or his Gay Partner who he was married to ???

Or are you married to a Thai & you're Female, that could be whta it is ???

Only thing I want to know is, what happened to MSingh's english??? You drunk posting here? Or has your computer been hijacked or something?

[too true]

don't worry too true, being a women married to a thai man negates you being able to have an opinion about this according to some posters!! Cause hel_l, what would we know about thai men or raising kids right?

i know i know... there's this voice inside that continues to say "just let it go...." but silly me, i ignore it again and again. some people never learn

cheers

tt

[docholiday123]

Your wife sounds like she is doing a brilliant job letting random people take your child whenever it pleases them, even to places where people are drinking alcohol.

Well done!

[docholiday123]

How unfortunate that the OP's wife seems to come from a village where ALL the men (apart from the OP, of course) are constantly drunk and unfit to take of even their own children, which is what his post seems to insinuate. How awful to live around people you have no respect for.

Makes me feel lucky to have a partner who comes from a village where I can trust the men to take my kids out to see the cows in the fields or to the shop to buy a snack or to go hunting for bugs.

There was once, and only once, a man who did something inappropriate in front of my kids (nothing sexual at all), but a quick jab between the eyes from hubby along with the scorn of the whole village, and that man basically had no choice but to pack his bags and find somewhere else to live (he was related by marriage, not blood).

Did you lift this from Huckleberry Fin?

[phetaroi]

Would also be interesting to see statistic on children drowning or getting into serious accident, west vs thailand. Must be much higher here with parents being unresponsible.

Just in my moobaan, this women has 1 kid, no job and her mom is with her 24/7. her kid managed to drown in the pool before turning 1 year..

How do u live a child under 1 year old alone long enough for it to crawl or semi-walk to the pool then not get back in time to save it? Well its the mai pen rai thai way.

Which is why leaving your kid with randomish thais is NOT a good idea Theres the same kind of people in the west too, but THERES MORE OF THEM here so theres no reason for all the retired bored people to be defending thais.

Also please remember that in this country, everything is built by non-qualified labor. Theres electricity wires coming out of the road, holes everywhere and rats. Supervision should be upped by 10 folds (while the average thai is -10 in vigilence)

While I understand your concerns, there are some awfully dumb things in this particular post.

1. I wouldn't think that Washington State is exactly the swimming pool capital of the world, yet, "An average of 27 Washington State children ages 0–17 years drown each year...the second leading cause of unintentional injury death for children in Washington."

2. You cannot and should not watch a child 24/7, although the extent of supervision, of course, varies with age.

3. Of course, I don't think most people are defending leaving kids with "randomish Thais". But when I was a kid growing up in rural New York State, there were at least 5 homes in my neighborhood that were considered "home" for just about any kid in the neighborhood. The neighbor across the street sometimes took me riding on his horse. Another would play baseball with the neighborhood kids a couple of times a week. Even at a fairly young age we had the freedom to wander back to the various woods, up on the hill, down by the stream. My family had an old school bell that meant time to come home, another a shrill and loud whistle. It's called childhood. But yes, we were taught not to go with or even talk to strangers. Not to go near one particular house (the guy was odd, probably not dangerous). There were rules. But our parents were not panicked 24/7. There needs to be balance.

4. I may be retired but I am not bored. I also have a right to contribute to any postings in this PUBLIC forum. If you want to have private conversations, go elsewhere.

5. Yes, there are the hazards of unworthy construction (to sum up your one sentence) and rats in Thailand. Of course, in my childhood neighborhood there were snakes, foxes, deer, old wells, abandoned buildings, dangerous farm equipment, etc.

And I will leave you with a true story...yes, from an old retired man who over his career in education was responsible for supervising over 24,000 children:

One day a few years ago I was at Central World with my Thai friend who works for the Education Ministry. He noted the school children there and indentified the school they went to by their uniform. I said, "Could we go talk with them?" Of course, he had to translate, but my first question was hold old are you and what grade are you in. One little boy said, "We are in grade 1," to which a little girl replied, "He is a liar, we are in kindergarten." (Again, remember I am related a translated conversation). "Where do all live?" "In Thonburi." How do you get home from school. Paraphrase: "We get on a city bus here to the river. Then we walk down to the boat. Then we cross the river on a boat. We get on another boat to go up the klong to our mooban."

Less than two months later I was back in the States and it was opening week for school. The second day a father stormed in ranting about his daughter's perilous walk across the small school parking lot. And when I say ranting, I do mean ranting. Me: "Why doesn't she just walk on the sidewalk?" Father: "You expect a 13 year old child to know they should walk on the sidewalk?" Me: "Well, yes, if their parent has taught them well."

Parents ought to know where their children are and who they are with. And if you think American parents do once children reach their teenage years, you are greatly mistaken. I'll bet Thai children have more "street smarts" than American children.

Now I realize the thread began about a young child. I realize aprents need to be vigilant. I realize in this particular situation that the parents need to come to an agreement on an appropriate level of supervision...if they can't, that's the fault of their marriage and an inability to compromise between two cultures.

[docholiday123]

Saw a farang driving with his 2 year old daughter sitting infront of him on the motorcycle today going down sukhumwit. must be another interesting cross culture experience to behold.

[vahack]

it takes a village...

[too true]

How unfortunate that the OP's wife seems to come from a village where ALL the men (apart from the OP, of course) are constantly drunk and unfit to take of even their own children, which is what his post seems to insinuate. How awful to live around people you have no respect for.

Makes me feel lucky to have a partner who comes from a village where I can trust the men to take my kids out to see the cows in the fields or to the shop to buy a snack or to go hunting for bugs.

There was once, and only once, a man who did something inappropriate in front of my kids (nothing sexual at all), but a quick jab between the eyes from hubby along with the scorn of the whole village, and that man basically had no choice but to pack his bags and find somewhere else to live (he was related by marriage, not blood).

Did you lift this from Huckleberry Fin?

what a clever monkey you are.... no, alas, it's just my regular life.

btw, there's not a chance in hel_l i'd raise my kids in the village. summer holidays are fine, but that's about the length i'll let them stay. nor will i put my children into thai school (but that might be misleading because i don't have to worry about that at this point in time). believe me, i'm not a rah rah thailand's number one kind of expat. but to prevent ALL Thai men from having any physical contact with a child says more about the environment the child's being raised in than it does about Thai men.

[mikebike]

Wow. My experience has been the total opposite of many of the posters... I have found the average Thai male to be infinitely more caring and trustworthy with children than their western counterparts. The average western male is a fumbling, disinterested clod when it comes to children - whereas even my two sixteen year old Thai male staff are loving and nurturing with children of all ages (check that with western sixteen year old boys - HA!)

The hygiene issue has been well covered... No need for western levels of hyper-cleanliness, common sense is all that's required, and you end up with a healthier, stronger human being.

Drunkeness? Spell it out again: C-O-M-M-O-N S-E-N-S-E!!

Check out the under five death rates for some common expat countries versus Thailand... hmmmmm - How's it going if you're from the US?

[gvallee2]

Would also be interesting to see statistic on children drowning or getting into serious accident, west vs thailand. Must be much higher here with parents being unresponsible.

Just in my moobaan, this women has 1 kid, no job and her mom is with her 24/7. her kid managed to drown in the pool before turning 1 year..

How do u live a child under 1 year old alone long enough for it to crawl or semi-walk to the pool then not get back in time to save it? Well its the mai pen rai thai way.

Which is why leaving your kid with randomish thais is NOT a good idea Theres the same kind of people in the west too, but THERES MORE OF THEM here so theres no reason for all the retired bored people to be defending thais.

Also please remember that in this country, everything is built by non-qualified labor. Theres electricity wires coming out of the road, holes everywhere and rats. Supervision should be upped by 10 folds (while the average thai is -10 in vigilence)

While I understand your concerns, there are some awfully dumb things in this particular post.

1. I wouldn't think that Washington State is exactly the swimming pool capital of the world, yet, "An average of 27 Washington State children ages 0–17 years drown each year...the second leading cause of unintentional injury death for children in Washington."

2. You cannot and should not watch a child 24/7, although the extent of supervision, of course, varies with age.

3. Of course, I don't think most people are defending leaving kids with "randomish Thais". But when I was a kid growing up in rural New York State, there were at least 5 homes in my neighborhood that were considered "home" for just about any kid in the neighborhood. The neighbor across the street sometimes took me riding on his horse. Another would play baseball with the neighborhood kids a couple of times a week. Even at a fairly young age we had the freedom to wander back to the various woods, up on the hill, down by the stream. My family had an old school bell that meant time to come home, another a shrill and loud whistle. It's called childhood. But yes, we were taught not to go with or even talk to strangers. Not to go near one particular house (the guy was odd, probably not dangerous). There were rules. But our parents were not panicked 24/7. There needs to be balance.

4. I may be retired but I am not bored. I also have a right to contribute to any postings in this PUBLIC forum. If you want to have private conversations, go elsewhere.

5. Yes, there are the hazards of unworthy construction (to sum up your one sentence) and rats in Thailand. Of course, in my childhood neighborhood there were snakes, foxes, deer, old wells, abandoned buildings, dangerous farm equipment, etc.

And I will leave you with a true story...yes, from an old retired man who over his career in education was responsible for supervising over 24,000 children:

One day a few years ago I was at Central World with my Thai friend who works for the Education Ministry. He noted the school children there and indentified the school they went to by their uniform. I said, "Could we go talk with them?" Of course, he had to translate, but my first question was hold old are you and what grade are you in. One little boy said, "We are in grade 1," to which a little girl replied, "He is a liar, we are in kindergarten." (Again, remember I am related a translated conversation). "Where do all live?" "In Thonburi." How do you get home from school. Paraphrase: "We get on a city bus here to the river. Then we walk down to the boat. Then we cross the river on a boat. We get on another boat to go up the klong to our mooban."

Less than two months later I was back in the States and it was opening week for school. The second day a father stormed in ranting about his daughter's perilous walk across the small school parking lot. And when I say ranting, I do mean ranting. Me: "Why doesn't she just walk on the sidewalk?" Father: "You expect a 13 year old child to know they should walk on the sidewalk?" Me: "Well, yes, if their parent has taught them well."

Parents ought to know where their children are and who they are with. And if you think American parents do once children reach their teenage years, you are greatly mistaken. I'll bet Thai children have more "street smarts" than American children.

Now I realize the thread began about a young child. I realize aprents need to be vigilant. I realize in this particular situation that the parents need to come to an agreement on an appropriate level of supervision...if they can't, that's the fault of their marriage and an inability to compromise between two cultures.

i stopped reading after the first line since you are trying to backup thais on any topic just because it fills your day

"age 0-17" we are talking about little children here, not kids over 3

[too true]

Wow. My experience has been the total opposite of many of the posters... I have found the average Thai male to be infinitely more caring and trustworthy with children than their western counterparts. The average western male is a fumbling, disinterested clod when it comes to children - whereas even my two sixteen year old Thai male staff are loving and nurturing with children of all ages (check that with western sixteen year old boys - HA!)

The hygiene issue has been well covered... No need for western levels of hyper-cleanliness, common sense is all that's required, and you end up with a healthier, stronger human being.

Drunkeness? Spell it out again: C-O-M-M-O-N S-E-N-S-E!!

Check out the under five death rates for some common expat countries versus Thailand... hmmmmm - How's it going if you're from the US?

Let there be light! .... thx mikebike. As a woman married to a Thai man I couldn't be the one to say any of those things, but you've said them perfectly.

[bina]

one post removed for offensive phrasing. there are some more posts that are on the edge of breaking forum rules for flaming and racist remarks.

gvalle2, watch your wording please.

bina