On the evening of the Royal wedding, Camilla was becoming somewhat uncomfortable in her regal attire. Unfortunately, the shoes she had worn that day were a bit too small and, by the time the festivities were over, her feet were in agony. When Camilla and Charles withdrew to their bridal suite, the only thing she could think of was getting her ill-fitting shoes off.

The rest of the Royal Family crowded round the door to the bedroom and they heard roughly what they expected, grunts, straining noises and the occasional muffled scream.

Eventually they heard Charles say, "God, that was tight."

"There," whispered the Queen. "I told you Camilla was a virgin."

Then, to their surprise, they heard Charles say, "Right - now for the other one."

This was followed by even more grunting and straining and at last Charles exclaimed, "My God! That was even tighter!"

"That's my boy," said the Duke. "Once a sailor, always a sailor!"

JD is back, we missed you mate