Does Your Significant Other's Education Level Color Your Perception Of Life In Los?

[RustyYellowDodge]

Lerking here for years, I have wondered about this. Many of the problems expats describe, seem to be brought about by poor, inaccurante (or perhaps even incompetant) communication between themselves and their significant others, and their significant others and other folks. I am not passing judgements as to the "class" of people, previous occupation, etc. Just wondering if this has an effect on the way people view Thailand. My wife is Thai, and was lucky enough to get a good education by working hard in the financial sector, starting from beginning auditing jobs and progressing. Speaks english very well, and works as a high level exec for a US manufacturing company. Her background was quite humble, and she is not a hi-so, or "thai-chinese elite conspiricy" person, but she is able to communicate quite effectively with all manner of people (civil servents, salespeople, administrators, etc), and is able to give me very accurate ideas of these peoples thoughts, feelings and intentions. Perhaps this is why I don't have as many negative opinions or reactions regarding everyday life, as some on the forum seem to have.One thing she has helped me notice, is that studing body language is not very helpful, when getting an idea of what Thais are saying. Some Thais will come across as aggressive or harsh, and when I ask my wife about their apparent hostility, she says I am off the mark, and it was just a common mannerism, nothing more.I might be full of crap, but it is what I was thinking about this morning.

[Heng]

Absolutely. For myself, we're both part of the Thai Chinese middle-middle class conspiracy department and I gotta tell you that it's a whole boatload of headaches keeping the masses down. Not to mention the b|atch of a problem of trying to keep it all a secret.

[slapout]

Rusty; New years eve with your wife, did not go the way you planned or to suit you? My question is based solely on your mention of "what I was thinking about this morning" Have another happy new year.

[Curt1591]

I think that most have problems because of their own myopic, self-centered view of life in general.

Add the fact that they aren't in Kansas anymore, and the trouble never ends!

[chiang mai]

My better half had only a very basic education at a rural school, I on the other hand gained two degrees from western universities - there's no doubt in my mind that she's far far smarter than me and I'm amazed at how much I continue learn from her.

[canuckamuck]

My wife is Thai with a western degree, She has numerous negative opinions about some facets of Thailand, as do I (particularly organizational and political ineptitude). But we have many positve opinions too. I think humanity in general is in a downward spiral and it is hard not to notice, no matter where you live. I am not a fan of wasted efforts, irrelevance, or culture over progress. You see a lot of that here.

[siggie2]

My gf has no education other than life,having many jobs as nanny,computer repair,electrical repairs,hotel work and caddy in Bangkok.She speaks Thai,English,khmer and Lao.

I have little education but was very street wise and no one but no one would or could take advantage of me.I finished up as a national sales manager because i wouldnt let any one get in my way,sounds hard but the facts of life are inteligence only goes so far,as i have seen so many well educated idiots to be honest

[chiang mai]

My gf has no education other than life,having many jobs as nanny,computer repair,electrical repairs,hotel work and caddy in Bangkok.She speaks Thai,English,khmer and Lao.

I have little education but was very street wise and no one but no one would or could take advantage of me.I finished up as a national sales manager because i wouldnt let any one get in my way,sounds hard but the facts of life are inteligence only goes so far,as i have seen so many well educated idiots to be honest

[tutsiwarrior]

My better half had only a very basic education at a rural school, I on the other hand gained two degrees from western universities - there's no doubt in my mind that she's far far smarter than me and I'm amazed at how much I continue learn from her.

yeah...my wife and I have the same educational background as you describe and I'm always amazed how much more effective her practical smarts are at getting things done; I can make suggestions/proposals but the merit is in the execution...

on the other hand my western education is more useful with regard to making money...

[noot]

Rusty; New years eve with your wife, did not go the way you planned or to suit you? My question is based solely on your mention of "what I was thinking about this morning" Have another happy new year.

whenever they say they not passing judgenent on the "class" of people" they are passing judgement on the class of people!

[Credo]

My other half is well educated, but it has been overseas travel that makes a difference. He has no problem in addressing a police office as a civil servant and the last time I was stopped with him in the vehicle, he refused to translate. He told the policeman he wasn't driving and he should talk to me. Then he picked up his book and proceeded to leave us to figure out what each other meant.

He has no problem in being polite, but firm when it comes to many things and can be quite blunt. His idea of right and wrong is much firmer than most Thais and I see hardly a drop of mai pen rai in him.

He also doesn't believe in ghosts--and that's scary in a Thai person and I think he should lose his citizenship for that!

[Garry9999]

Does Your Significant Other's Education Level Color Your Perception Of Life In Los? No, my perception comes from observations and interactions in Thailand.

[Naam]

My other half is well educated, but it has been overseas travel that makes a difference. He has no problem in addressing a police office as a civil servant and the last time I was stopped with him in the vehicle, he refused to translate. He told the policeman he wasn't driving and he should talk to me. Then he picked up his book and proceeded to leave us to figure out what each other meant.

He has no problem in being polite, but firm when it comes to many things and can be quite blunt. His idea of right and wrong is much firmer than most Thais and I see hardly a drop of mai pen rai in him.

He also doesn't believe in ghosts--and that's scary in a Thai person and I think he should lose his citizenship for that!

shouldn't he also be flogged for his crime?

[Pakboong]

Absolutely. For myself, we're both part of the Thai Chinese middle-middle class conspiracy department and I gotta tell you that it's a whole boatload of headaches keeping the masses down. Not to mention the b|atch of a problem of trying to keep it all a secret.

Heng, I have often wondered why it is so easy to keep this a secret. If you have the time tell me what has worked best for you at making this secret so well kept.

[villagefarang]

This kind of topic runs the risk of bring out the silly folk but here is my take. Few farangs spend enough time developing their own relationship with Thailand before getting married.

They find a girl, get married and try to figure out how to live here. They don't speak Thai and pretty much everything has to be translated or filtered through the wife.

One can liken that to entering Thailand through a very small door and remaining in a very small room with no windows. That can be a recipe for conflict and misunderstanding on many levels.

Of course there are exception but a few personal, anecdotal stories, doesn't negate the difficulties that arise from this scenario.

[noot]

if only guys would stop marrying watering hole girls! im sure lots of nurse, office workers, librarians, govt workers, engineers, biologist, would like to feel the power of farang romance too!

[geriatrickid]

My better half had only a very basic education at a rural school, I on the other hand gained two degrees from western universities - there's no doubt in my mind that she's far far smarter than me and I'm amazed at how much I continue learn from her.

You didn't go to one of the better universities or graduate from challenging faculty did you?

Then again with the diploma mills found in the west and such brilliant academic opportunities such as Lesbian Sexual Studies, or courses like Soap Operas and Their Reflection of Society, it is understandable.

And the OP does make a good point. I concur.

Edited January 1, 2010 by geriatrickid

[Samuian]

I think me "better half" isn't educated enough to make such a bs statement and I am not arrogant enough to get off on such a sweeping broad brush and random generalization, about an entire nation, which I happen to know a minute fraction of...

you're wrong mate, at least work on your attitude and sweep your court first!

Edited January 1, 2010 by Samuian

[lazygourmet]

Ten years ago, I met my Thai significant other in a bar...

That was the pool bar of the Amandari, in Ubud, Bali

[M555]

if only guys would stop marrying watering hole girls! im sure lots of nurse, office workers, librarians, govt workers, engineers, biologist, would like to feel the power of farang romance too!

You are right my wife is so smart see taught me the Earth is Flat. And Sun goes around the Earth.

Thanks God see works as a Doctor.

Stay away from Bar Girls.

[givenall]

I think that most have problems because of their own myopic, self-centered view of life in general.

Add the fact that they aren't in Kansas anymore, and the trouble never ends!

May be it is my fault. When I decided to retire over here I had certain expectation, and unwilling to change MUCH. This causes certain problem especially when the significant other is much younger.

The gals are under lots pressure to deliver everything to the family, especially when they see a Farang as husband, the Farang =$$$$ to them

I am sort of lucky to have found one who is educated, smart and also no family ties. But it has challenges too. Her expectation is much different/ higher than lets say a poor uneducated Thai gal.

I have decided if this don’t work out I just have fun over here and stay as long as I can then just go back home to DIE

[RustyYellowDodge]

Some good responses - My thoughts seem to run together with Villagefarang, at least, my thinking was not so much about the educaiton or lack of it, of the spouse, but about the lack of clear understanding between a couple, that can cause a lot of the perceptions found in the expat community.

[villagefarang]

Some good responses - My thoughts seem to run together with Villagefarang, at least, my thinking was not so much about the educaiton or lack of it, of the spouse, but about the lack of clear understanding between a couple, that can cause a lot of the perceptions found in the expat community.

One could say it is the farangs who lack the education, with regard to Thailand. Haven't they heard of look before you leap? If you know next to nothing about Thailand and how things work here, what are you bringing to the party other than money and naiveté. That is placing a rather heavy burden on those svelte swaying hips.

p.s. Be careful about publicly agreeing with VF. It may not endear you in some circles.

[nisakiman]

Some good responses - My thoughts seem to run together with Villagefarang, at least, my thinking was not so much about the educaiton or lack of it, of the spouse, but about the lack of clear understanding between a couple, that can cause a lot of the perceptions found in the expat community.

One could say it is the farangs who lack the education, with regard to Thailand. Haven't they heard of look before you leap? If you know next to nothing about Thailand and how things work here, what are you bringing to the party other than money and naiveté. That is placing a rather heavy burden on those svelte swaying hips.

p.s. Be careful about publicly agreeing with VF. It may not endear you in some circles.

Not being particularly concerned about who I do or don't endear myself to, I would say I agree with your sentiments. A very large percentage of expats carry a lot of baggage around with them, and then wonder why they seem to be carrying a heavy load.

With regard to the other half's education, I think it helps if they have a reasonable level of education, but it is by no means a prerequisite for a successful relationship. What is important is for both parties to be able to adapt to the other's cultural background. This then facilitates understanding, which is essential to any successful relationship.

[chiang mai]

My better half had only a very basic education at a rural school, I on the other hand gained two degrees from western universities - there's no doubt in my mind that she's far far smarter than me and I'm amazed at how much I continue learn from her.

You didn't go to one of the better universities or graduate from challenging faculty did you?

I did my bachelors at UC San Diego and my MBA at University of London.

[siggie2]

Ten years ago, I met my Thai significant other in a bar...

That was the pool bar of the Amandari, in Ubud, Bali

I ahve heard that plenty of thai girls go to work in Bali,they cane arn more money there.

[Heng]

Absolutely. For myself, we're both part of the Thai Chinese middle-middle class conspiracy department and I gotta tell you that it's a whole boatload of headaches keeping the masses down. Not to mention the b|atch of a problem of trying to keep it all a secret.

Heng, I have often wondered why it is so easy to keep this a secret. If you have the time tell me what has worked best for you at making this secret so well kept.

Well, aside from our secret society meetings, the only time this subject comes up in public is in foreign/expat webforums. So the folks in the know are 'all of us' and a bunch of random foreigners few folks pay any attention to anyway.

[GuestHouse]

Why would somebody else's educational level 'colour' one's own perception of life in LOS?

What's going on that grown men need to have their perception handed to them or validated by someone else?

It would be funny except for the fact that so many foreigners are totally wrong about their own perceptions of their 'Significant Other'.

To be honest, I think more than a few have 'rock solid relationships' with their Thai Significant Others, simply because they are clueless on what is going on in their own marriage/relationship.

[Dakhar]

my wife has a MA our of the US, and spent 5 years in the US, despite this, it amazes me how she can still defend if not honor the typical peasant Thai mentality of blasting your neighbors with music that would even make the dead want to puke

i have reached my limit and i pray to god the ambien kicks in any moment now.... i just want some sleep!!!!!!!!!!

[MrHammer]

Absolutely,

I have known girls that have no education and girls with good education and it's like two different worlds.