It's Only Money

[Thomas_Merton]

I was having a conversation this Sunday with a mate while our families were lazily watching the local river tumble its way down to the sea.

It was one of those Charles Dickens’ type of chats:

Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure nineteen nineteen six, result happiness. Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure twenty pounds ought and six, result misery.

(that sort of thing)

After which we concluded, because of the amount of direct debits we had, coupled with those always unexpected extra debits that pop up all too regularly, it was a good idea to ensure there was always a balance in our current accounts, at all times, equal to at least a month’s salary.

As evening approached the families split up and we went to the local pub for an evening meal.

An evening meal where I was literally hauled over the coals by my Thai wife, “How dare I discuss our personal finances with someone else? What we earn and how we organise our money is our concern, and our concern alone.”

Despite all my efforts, my wife was furious, especially when I demonstrated a typically British casualness, “But its only money, dear”

The resulting dressing down still hurts.

Has anyone else examples of this divergence of opinion on the value of money between farang and Thai?

[Joey Boy]

faak.. sounds like thai bank managers should wear bullet proof jackets

Edited April 25, 2005 by Joey Boy

[AndyW]

"Our" personal finances???? I hope your wife is working.

[Thomas_Merton]

"Our" personal finances????  I hope your wife is working.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Doesn't your wife work?

Or maybe I should ask, doesn't your Mum?

But then I suppose you make all your own food and have always washed your own underpants.

[AndyW]

"Our" personal finances????  I hope your wife is working.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Doesn't your wife work?

Or maybe I should ask, doesn't your Mum?

But then I suppose you make all your own food and have always washed your own underpants.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

My wife works very hard, but she doesn't contribute to a financial income. If your wife does then you shouldn't be discussing "your" finances.

[Thomas_Merton]

"Our" personal finances????  I hope your wife is working.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Doesn't your wife work?

Or maybe I should ask, doesn't your Mum?

But then I suppose you make all your own food and have always washed your own underpants.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

My wife works very hard, but she doesn't contribute to a financial income. If your wife does then you shouldn't be discussing "your" finances.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

What a curiously archaic attitude you have.

IMHO it is our marriage; our children; our house; our food; our laundry; our expenses etc.

The only difference I have with my wife is how public our financial arrangements can be.

[thai_norman]

"Our" personal finances????   I hope your wife is working.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Doesn't your wife work?

Or maybe I should ask, doesn't your Mum?

But then I suppose you make all your own food and have always washed your own underpants.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

My wife works very hard, but she doesn't contribute to a financial income. If your wife does then you shouldn't be discussing "your" finances.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

What a curiously archaic attitude you have.

IMHO it is our marriage; our children; our house; our food; our laundry; our expenses etc.

The only difference I have with my wife is how public our financial arrangements can be.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

so how much dosh you got then?

[Thomas_Merton]

"Our" personal finances????  I hope your wife is working.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Doesn't your wife work?

Or maybe I should ask, doesn't your Mum?

But then I suppose you make all your own food and have always washed your own underpants.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

My wife works very hard, but she doesn't contribute to a financial income. If your wife does then you shouldn't be discussing "your" finances.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

What a curiously archaic attitude you have.

IMHO it is our marriage; our children; our house; our food; our laundry; our expenses etc.

The only difference I have with my wife is how public our financial arrangements can be.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

so how much dosh you got then?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

more than you.

[thai_norman]

do you really think so?????

[Thomas_Merton]

do you really think so?????

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

can't say - wife won't let me

[thai_norman]

do you really think so?????

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

can't say - wife won't let me

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

well we now know who wears the trousers in that relationship, does she let you out alone sometimes

[Jockstar]

Enjoy the money now. You cant take it with you when you die.

To answer your question. Thais can be very frugal with money. My mates missus used to give him 200 baht a day. Tight?IMO Yes. But they saved shit loads before they went to live in Denmark. So maybe tight but i think more wise now.

[ThaiPauly]

My wife is EVER so frugal with money

Wish I was

[Thomas_Merton]

well we now know who wears the trousers in that relationship...

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

It is an old cliché - but what exactly does it mean?

[chuchok]

well we now know who wears the trousers in that relationship...

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

It is an old cliché - but what exactly does it mean?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

means that she wears jeans i think.

[Jeff1]

Well , you got one good answer from Jockstar . Is it not fun opening up around here ? We dont talk about finances to others but she does like to say how much we spent

[Thomas_Merton]

well we now know who wears the trousers in that relationship...

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

It is an old cliché - but what exactly does it mean?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

means that she wears jeans i think.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

oh..., sort of like nearly all Thai women under 40 do?

Then, yes, my wife is under 40. and then what...?

[gburns57au]

Women will always discuss finances with their mates.....I had to give my ex a dressing down for discussing finances with anyone who would listen.....What I earn, save and spend is my own business or our business if I am in a relationship, not anybody elses

[Jockstar]

Thais dont seem to have a problem asking what you earn. I dont mind telling people. Its not alot. But to some Thais it is. I would never think about asking someone what they earn in the west. But if someone asked me i wouldnt be offended. When i was first asked in LOS what do you earn? I was a little pisssed off but soon realised its the done thing here. So i dont sweat it anymore.

[samran]

Thais dont seem to have a problem asking what you earn. I dont mind telling people. Its not alot. But to some Thais it is. I would never think about asking someone what they earn in the west. But if someone asked me i wouldnt be offended. When i was first asked in  LOS what do you earn? I was a little pisssed off but soon realised its the done thing here. So i dont sweat it anymore.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

What sucks is when your salary is broadcast around the office by the disgrunted spinster in payroll. Thats not fun then.

[Jockstar]

Thais dont seem to have a problem asking what you earn. I dont mind telling people. Its not alot. But to some Thais it is. I would never think about asking someone what they earn in the west. But if someone asked me i wouldnt be offended. When i was first asked in  LOS what do you earn? I was a little pisssed off but soon realised its the done thing here. So i dont sweat it anymore.

What sucks is when your salary is broadcast around the office by the disgrunted spinster in payroll. Thats not fun then.

Very true. My missus earns a great salary. Sometimes more than me Basic 5K less than me then commission on top. She works in outdoor media. Good money and a great job. But the payroll chick. Gets the hump sometimes and doesnt pay her..eg. 30K commission on top sometimes. Instead spreads it out over a few months. So i understand wher you are coming from.

[siamesekitty]

Thais dont seem to have a problem asking what you earn. I dont mind telling people. Its not alot. But to some Thais it is. I would never think about asking someone what they earn in the west. But if someone asked me i wouldnt be offended. When i was first asked in  LOS what do you earn? I was a little pisssed off but soon realised its the done thing here. So i dont sweat it anymore.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

What sucks is when your salary is broadcast around the office by the disgrunted spinster in payroll. Thats not fun then.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Due to the stupido payroll process at my company, I think the whole HR department and about half of the accounting department know my salary. Which makes me uncomfortable as I've guessed that this might be twice as much as what some of them who are about the same age are making.

[Totster]

My wife is very good with money.... also frugal which I don't mind, she accounts for our money down to 1 baht, I once made the mistake of remarking to her " don't worry about it, it's only a couple of Baht ".....

totster

[sriracha john]

I think most Thais great concern over money relates to their historical past. It wasn't that long ago when the majority of Thais had to scrimp and save for even the most basic of necessities. They are only a generation or two away from a time when starving was common among many, many Thais.

I realized after some time here that they are in many ways similiar to my parents who lived through the Great Depression of the 1920's and 1930's. As I was growing up in the 1960's and 1970's, they were always very frugal with their money even though we were in a very good financial situation. It was because they had never forgotten what it was like during their childhood when not even a penny was squandered. I think the same situation is present in Thailand.

[simey]

Despite LOS being cheap my girlfreind still gets through the money I xfer down every month, and if she doesn't spend it she won't tell me she has some left in case I reduce the amount! Expensive tastes in home furnishings....

[bina]

from what i've noticed and heard, thai women keep their men on a very short rein with money otherwise a lot goes for chickens lao and ciggies.... talking about certain areas and certain cocio economic background though (thai foreign workers)...

they all joke about it and everyone says about the other guy: HIS wife only gives him xx baht on a saturday, my wife gives me xxx (x=how many zeros at the end)and they all say their wives are frugal

msot definately came from poor farm house holds so .... on the other hand, for a party, or holiday, the whole paycheck goes regardless if it can be afforded...