Would You ?

[jayjayjayjay]

If it was me I would want to know. However, most people do not want to know, so just keep quiet unless he asks you.

Men usually know when the missues has a lot shipping traffic in the love canal. You are not the canal master so leave it be.

great semen ship!

[Sabum]

I dont understand... how does clear english "your wife is cheating on you" not get understood or leave any room for denial? Is this a European thing? Because Im finding it hard to accept that anyone from North America would not accept the information from a friend. What am I missing here? Do people actually not believe it when they are told? I'm totally confused.

[terenceyeo]

i agree with your thoughts.

truth does hurts..especially if thru friends are concerned.

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If this guy is a really good friend (meaning there is a good measure of trust between you) then I would definitely tell him. Sounds like this is a casual acquaintance though, so I would probably just stay out of it unless he becomes a good friend.

I think telling him is morally the 'right thing to do', but unless he's in a position to truly believe what you have to say, then best to steer clear of such topics. Don't lie to him, just keep quiet unless he asks you about it specifically.

[Moonrakers]

Tell him directly and you will lose that friendship. I would put money on it.

[way2muchcoffee]

Tell him directly and you will lose that friendship. I would put money on it.

Why? I never understood this. And yet it seems to be some kind of common wisdom.

I've done similar with people in the past and never lost one friend over it, either here or back home. If it were me I would definitely want to know. I expect the friendship would be stronger for it.

[Loz]

I dont understand... how does clear english "your wife is cheating on you" not get understood or leave any room for denial? Is this a European thing? Because Im finding it hard to accept that anyone from North America would not accept the information from a friend. What am I missing here? Do people actually not believe it when they are told? I'm totally confused.

Are you single, by any chance?

[snuggzzz]

It is best to keep it to yourself, you have said he's besotted with her, he would not thank you for informing on her, neither would she, plus she would make it difficult for your source of information, namely your wife.

If you did, he would forgive her infidelity and they'd probably make up.

You (and your wife) are in a no win situation if you say anything.

[Stonecutter35777]

if it was my wife playing around I'd want to know, if I found out my buddy knew but didn't tell me I'd be well pissed. how you going to feel if he gets HIV or the like?

I agree 100%. If I found out......and knew a friend of mine had been in the know but didn't say anything I'd possibly be even more mad at him. Definitely would not be my friend in the future. Would not be someone I could trust in the slightest. If he did get a life threatening STD simply because you were worried about "being the bad guy" could you look yourself in the mirror. I know I couldn't. And considering the apparently freewheeling attitude this woman has towards sex I would say it is definitely in the realm of possibilities. Just my two cents.

[Birdman]

If a Thai friend of the Thai wife would see the Western husband with another women, she would immediately call her. Sometimes also if it is not him, but the friend of the Thai wife thinks he is.

OK, completely other circumstances.

In OP's case I certainly would tell him without any hesitating. What are friends for, if you would not tell him??? Can't believe that some posters friendship ended with that.

Maybe there is a cultural discrepancy here of someone calling a friend.

Edited January 27, 2010 by Birdman