Does Your Thai Lady Get Very Angry Quickly Too ?

[MAJIC]

Don't want to upset the lady forum members but PMT isn't just in farang land. Understanding it and timing it becomes a necessity for a peaceful life together. No detriment to the ladies, it's nature.

Its not named "the curse" for nothing

[Jing Joe]

Hi and thanks guys.

This would have to be the most useful, constructive and seriously needed subject in Thai visa I've stumbled on.

And to think I thought I had the Jai Rohn wife problem on my own.

I'm all ears to hear more advice please.

My lovely Thai wife is often mental-hospital-material with her totally unfounded suspicions spiraling down into extreme rage in about 5 minutes.

One aspect is to learn to recognize when (by her second nature) she is asking "those" kind of "I'm checking up on you" type questions, and

tell her so much detail she gets bored and sorry she asked.

Another strategy is "if asked a silly question give a silly answer", so I've raved on (jai yen) with the most ridiculous answers, and it works, and she surely wonders if I'm "crazy", but it obscurely moves that title from her to me, effectively diffusing the WW3 bomb.

I've heard other guys say they just laugh at their Asian wives with the same traits, but this just makes it worse for us.

Something I found works very well many times is to forcefully (as much as it takes) peacefully hold her, gently, sitting down on the bed, nurse her, and rocking her like a baby till the fear subsides.

Takes about 10 to 15 minutes but if I let her go before she's jai yen ready, the rage starts again, so I hold her again with love.

As radically opposite as it seems, it works for us, but then again everyone is different.

Isn't there a song something like "I want to hold you til the fear(?) subsides".

For me, giving her the space you guys refer to is expensive in a motel at $85 an night for 3 nights at a time.

And no its definitely not hormonal but it is like walking on egg shells.

Seems like old fears are resurfacing all the time and I keep my cool reminding myself it's FEAR.

Retaliate in my country and you've got a Domestic Violence Order served on you and you are OUT the door of your own home.

When she's OK she is ABSOLUTELY wonderful and I know why I married her but is only separated by a thin line from extreme rage, but is getting better.

You mention cell phones-- mine checks my in/out calls and phone bills for numbers she doesn't recognize and calls them, or at least she used to.

Sadly there's a very high failure rate so lets hear more please?

[NADTATIDA1]

Hi and thanks guys.

This would have to be the most useful, constructive and seriously needed subject in Thai visa I've stumbled on.

And to think I thought I had the Jai Rohn wife problem on my own.

I'm all ears to hear more advice please.

My lovely Thai wife is often mental-hospital-material with her totally unfounded suspicions spiraling down into extreme rage in about 5 minutes.

One aspect is to learn to recognize when (by her second nature) she is asking "those" kind of "I'm checking up on you" type questions, and

tell her so much detail she gets bored and sorry she asked.

Another strategy is "if asked a silly question give a silly answer", so I've raved on (jai yen) with the most ridiculous answers, and it works, and she surely wonders if I'm "crazy", but it obscurely moves that title from her to me, effectively diffusing the WW3 bomb.

I've heard other guys say they just laugh at their Asian wives with the same traits, but this just makes it worse for us.

Something I found works very well many times is to forcefully (as much as it takes) peacefully hold her, gently, sitting down on the bed, nurse her, and rocking her like a baby till the fear subsides.

Takes about 10 to 15 minutes but if I let her go before she's jai yen ready, the rage starts again, so I hold her again with love.

As radically opposite as it seems, it works for us, but then again everyone is different.

Isn't there a song something like "I want to hold you til the fear(?) subsides".

For me, giving her the space you guys refer to is expensive in a motel at $85 an night for 3 nights at a time.

And no its definitely not hormonal but it is like walking on egg shells.

Seems like old fears are resurfacing all the time and I keep my cool reminding myself it's FEAR.

Retaliate in my country and you've got a Domestic Violence Order served on you and you are OUT the door of your own home.

When she's OK she is ABSOLUTELY wonderful and I know why I married her but is only separated by a thin line from extreme rage, but is getting better.

You mention cell phones-- mine checks my in/out calls and phone bills for numbers she doesn't recognize and calls them, or at least she used to.

Sadly there's a very high failure rate so lets hear more please?

My first misses was the same,i could not tolerate it anymore so i left,only after 4 years of trying though! she is with another guy now and she has not changed one bit,a mate of mine had 12 stitches in his head from his wife hitting him over the head with a bottle,and also was in hospital a week after she ripped his <deleted> sack open in one argument he said he fainted with the pain and the sight of the blood,poor bastard.....they are still together though.....but come on you have gotta sleep with one eye open for sure.

I like your honesty.

[Jing Joe]

Eventually she is so mad she is cursing and swearing and usually talking about blonde women (she believes - wrongly - that I have a thing for blondes!).

Funny how our wives suspicions differ mate.

Mine thinks I'm obsessed with every pair of boobs in the supermarket or on the street when I'm walking with her.

Sure like yours she'll pull in every other subject as ammunition into her rage, but with as much attention as I pay to her curvy

bits, she still thinks I want everything else in sight.

I've got used to looking the other way before she has even seen what I saw first.

What a shock it was for her to see so many 'naked", fat, booby women here in the supermarkets, and given half a chance

they'll be quietly labeled as prostitutes in her mind.

But its getting better, and I wouldn't swap her for quids, maybe for her sister. Nah. Never.

[Jing Joe]

My first misses was the same,i could not tolerate it anymore so i left,only after 4 years of trying though! she is with another guy now and she has not changed one bit, a mate of mine had 12 stitches in his head from his wife hitting him over the head with a bottle,and also was in hospital a week after she ripped his <deleted> sack open in one argument he said he fainted with the pain and the sight of the blood,poor bastard.....they are still together though.....but come on you have gotta sleep with one eye open for sure.

I like your honesty.

WOW. Bottles, torn scrotum, picture frames, sleeping with one eye open; You guys speak of violence that make my wife

look like an angel. That makes me count my blessings.

Some of you have such angels too. Praise them huh? whatever it takes.

No its definitely not hormonal like I said.

I have been saying for a while; "if she knows what she is like when Jai Rohn; then she's a sick puppy"

"If she doesn't know what she's like when Jai Rohn; then she's a sick puppy".

Now I believe she might not really know, and I've suggested she ought to see a video of herself and she might be so remorseful.

Choosing the acceptable time to tell her she becomes so horrible whilst she's Jai Rohn, understanding it

probably comes from fear from the past with her father, patience, non provoking in the face of all odds, is slowly paying off.

"Thinking before you speak" is something she admits she'd never heard of or been taught, and personal development or growth also.

"Jai Rohn makes you age fast" was good advice in one post. Thanks I'll take your advice and try that.

Make peace brothers??? is it the only way through to the other side of our common dilemma?

The alternative of divorce is so damaging.

[tonglen]

Christ,

Phil's the only one that's got it right! If i wanted to put up with an old, naggy bitch, i could find one of those more easily than a Starbucks in Seattle.

My Thai g/f pulled that crap one time and only one time. I told her if she gets mad at me, I don't want to see it again, go do something and cool down. She said, "Ok maybe I not talk u one week." My reply was, "Some other lady will." In other words who the f do u think u are?

That shut her up real quick..... I don't know if she's ever ben mad at me again... ignorance is bliss...

In the past, in America, I had at times, shamefully acted like some bungling idiot and on occassion had apologized just to to keep the peace, though i had done nothing wrong...... lesson learned....

Never again...those days are long gone... My balls hang low... again ... we both know it and it feels great... i'm not abusive towards her, just firm, following natural dominant/submissive laws of nature and she loves me to pieces.

ALL people, not just women are jai yen sometimes, jai rone, sometimes. All of us. Women get bitchy sometimes and men get bitchy sometimes. You sound like a man who has spent too much time at the buffets, has a huge pot belly, thinning hair and demands a thin beautiful Thai wife.

The above post is apparently scrawled by a man who is scratching his head as to why he has a lousy love life. Or as the other poster put it, he's really a pushover at home. "Dominant/submissive laws of nature?" This isnt the National Geographic channel, mate.

You can't demand perfection from anyone, least not your wife. Women are not dogs to collar and cage.

[manjara]

Eventually she is so mad she is cursing and swearing and usually talking about blonde women (she believes - wrongly - that I have a thing for blondes!).

Funny how our wives suspicions differ mate.

Mine thinks I'm obsessed with every pair of boobs in the supermarket or on the street when I'm walking with her.

Sure like yours she'll pull in every other subject as ammunition into her rage, but with as much attention as I pay to her curvy

bits, she still thinks I want everything else in sight.

I've got used to looking the other way before she has even seen what I saw first.

What a shock it was for her to see so many 'naked", fat, booby women here in the supermarkets, and given half a chance

they'll be quietly labeled as prostitutes in her mind.

But its getting better, and I wouldn't swap her for quids, maybe for her sister. Nah. Never.

Not sure mine is getting better. She tries to control it but it ends up giving her headaches and then when she does blow, it is 5 times worse. Not sure what's better, frequent small storms or a really big one once in a while.

As you say, when she is not mad she's absolutely fantastic, the most caring, smart person ever.

As others have said about their wives, she's harsh with the kids, but they show a lot less fear than me and love her to bits!

I wish I understood it more, but it just seems to be a kind of 'tantrum' that many of us had as kids but grew out of. This is like an adult version, but in the end it's almost the same and I see a lot of parallels in our 4 yr old!

[richieudon]

Women are from venus...men are from mars..they're the same the world over...

[scotsman]

With my wife the first year I got the silent treatment when she was angry but it was always down to misunderstandings due to language but after showing my wife understanding, trust and love and with her English and my Thai improving we fix all that. Now for the next 9 years we have been great Friends we get on so well with no anger or temper or silent treatment it just takes time to understand each other.

Regards

Scotsman

[whatamidoinghere]

When I read all your stories, I question myself what you guys got yourself into. Jealous Thai women with strange bad tempers? Jeez. And then those who slander Western women? Come on!! Western women are lovely, I married one myself. Those who say that Western women are demanding are just not well informed or plain lazy or not happy with equality between men and women. It seems that Thai women are a lot of work!

[neverdie]

I'm not sure about any of this, I try my hardest all the time to try and avoid her........theyre all the same women, they just live in different houses.

Women are the reason I love my motor cycles, cars, fishing/camping equipment and surf board so much. Ohh and I nearly forgot to mention the dog.

[cognos]

My wife( Varaporn) is the youngest of 9 (thai) children)..her mom( died of cancer years ago quite young) wore the pants in the family, and by the time Varaporn was born and growing up her mom( although a caring person) was stressed and irritable, raising 9 children with a submissive husband.

She told me one time as a child playing blissfully on the beach at Ko Samui her mom went ballistic, telling her to " act like a lady".

signed: she comes by her temper ( and good looks) naturally

[cognos]

I'm not sure about any of this, I try my hardest all the time to try and avoid her........theyre all the same women, they just live in different houses.

Women are the reason I love my motor cycles, cars, fishing/camping equipment and surf board so much. Ohh and I nearly forgot to mention the dog.

signed: lucky butterflying is not on your list of "get away hobbies"

[OZEMADE]

The best advice is to leave them alone for a few hours, they usually figure out that they have been a bitch to you and make up pretty quickly. It does not take much to set them off and given our predisposition to want to debate the facts in any dispute, it can escalate quickly. Best to just give them some space and wait for them to calm down.

Mine use to want a divorce every month,"me want divorce, pack bag now." so I use to help her pack her bags. She gave that up in a hurry with a grin on her face.

[IanForbes]

I was married twice. I vowed not to make the same mistake again. And, I am lovin it. I'm not saying there aren't some things I miss, but sex isn't one of them. I never cheated on my wives, I always came home each night, I never drank or smoked and I always provided a decent living with a nice home to live in. And, I kept myself fit and healthy. I also did the cooking and all the outside work on our property. I took my wives to holiday destinations where THEY wanted to go... but it was never enough. I'm glad that both of them gave me my freedom again.

Right now, I have several very nice lady friends in Thailand, but if they EVER get bitchy I'll just say goodbye. They've got the choice to go or stay. I'm not stopping them. They can be replaced tomorrow. I will no longer allow myself to be manipulated, unless there is something REAL good in it for me.

Over the 14 years I've been coming to Thailand I've had several relationships that ended the moment the woman started playing mental games. I've helped them all get small businesses started, and sent their children off to better schools, but it's for the children's sake, not their mothers. I STILL help one family in Kanchanaburi, but the mother could screw up a 4 carot diamond ring. I only help for sake of the two younger children who do show love for me. I'm sure glad I'm not married to their mother.

[trigger571]

Nope mine is fairly mellow too. In 5 years I remember her flaire up twice for about 5 minutes in total then its Sorry na dear teerakk, cuddles, kisses and more.... hmm coming to think of it I should get her to flaire up a bit more often

I was married to a Farang Latin blooded woman before - Now she was a handful! She had a terrible temper always ready to pick a fight about nothing and it would go on for days. In 2 years of Marriage I left her 12 times that I can remember!

[pardsie]

To all those whose responses tend towards indicating Thai women are different ...you are dillusional. Women are the same world wide. Some mostly nice and calm...some mostly like dynamite with a short fuse. Makes not a lick where they originated unless possibly Japan.

[WinnieTheKhwai]

Mine gets angry quite quickly, but fortunately not usually at me. Tends to be her mum, sister, staff and the maid that take most of the flak. Then I do my bit calming her down a bit.

[yabaaaa]

Cripes looks like I married the only sane woman in Thailand judging by many of the replies!!

[bifftastic]

Long reply coming up, apologies in advance. Those who like short answers will, no doubt, skip to the next one!

My g/f only gets angry with me when I get angry with her! Ok she has a monthly irritability, but everyone just keeps their heads down and I wait for the right moment and ask her if she knows why she's getting angry quick today, then she'll have a think and a smile...'oh ok period near start'

But on two occasions she has reacted to me not liking something she has done with the proper silent treatment. I know she's angry when she doesn't speak at all!

She seems to think (we're working on this btw) that if I'm not happy about one thing (small or otherwise) then I'm not happy with the whole relationship and want to finish with her!

I try to tell her that if I wasn't happy with her then I wouldn't get angry over one thing I'd just not be with her at all and that, from time to time, there will be things that p1ss us off and she shouldn't assume it's 'the end' when that happens. This only succeeds in producing frowns and 'mai khow djai'

I hope we can 'meet in the middle'. When we (finally) got to talking through our last disagreement, I told her i was angry with myself because I should have talked to her more about it.

I'm used to it being 'ok' to have the odd row, and then make up after the air has been cleared and we are both left with a clearer understanding of each other, but I'm learning from her, and she from me. I'm learning to say things like 'ok, next time we need to talk about that first so I can understand why' and she's learning that I need to talk things through and really understand before we commit to something.

There's a lot of talk about cultural differences and I'm usually of the opinion that people are people and these differences can be 'over-stressed' if you like. But I do believe that this is definitely a cultural thing.

I'm used to women explaining themselves (often too much! ), how they feel about everything, and having regular discussions about how 'this made me feel x' or 'that made me feel y' and as a man, I've often felt that I'm not particularly like that but now I'm starting to think maybe I'm just less like that than the western women I've been close to!

She doesn't criticize me at all, ever.

She'll wait, then in conversation later will mention in a very very roundabout way how maybe someone else didn't handle something vaguely similar too well and it all ended up 'mai dee'

So, rather than wishing she was like my ex-g/f's and appreciated a 'frank exchange of ideas' followed by kissing and making up. I'm trying to pick up on the more subtle ways of avoiding conflict whilst not agreeing to things I hate doing. She now asks about three or four times if I want to do something she maybe thinks I won't like and offers me ways to politely decline, these are often very subtle and I can miss them easily but she's learning that some things I need to mull over before I'm comfortable with it.

We have only had two 'falling outs' and she now understands that I do love her and that won't change because we have a row, but she was genuinely puzzled when I explained that in my country people do that all the time!

'huh??? jing lor? khun angrit ting tong!'

yes honey, ting tong mak mak but you love me right?

'mai!' (big smile, kiss, followed by a slap round the head)

and we're back to normal!

To summarise then, no she doesn't get angry (for real) quickly, but there are mis-understandings that, if not handled carefully, could be serious problems.

Edited March 9, 2010 by bifftastic

[cognos]

Cripes looks like I married the only sane woman in Thailand judging by many of the replies!!

..lucky you don't take yaa baa,, that's why you are sane!!

[cognos]

Mine gets angry quite quickly, but fortunately not usually at me. Tends to be her mum, sister, staff and the maid that take most of the flak. Then I do my bit calming her down a bit.

..thats funny, and good for you.. I'm not proud of it.. but when I feel irritable, sometimes I let others have the flak ( instead of the wife )..like sublimation in a way. i wonder if your wife does that too?

signed: better than taking it out on you eh

[Gonzo the Face]

.... the answer is a little mixture of Xanax and Ex-lax...

The Xanax quiets them down considerabley, but if they should blow up, the ex-lax keeps them confined to a very small room.

Better living through chemistry....

G

[villagefarang]

I lived with a girl once who sounds like many of the above examples. No way was I going to marry her. It was kind of like being on drugs with very high, highs and very low, lows.

She married some other guy who I became friends with later. Poor guy didn't have a clue. Eventually he got out but was left with emotional scars.

Feel sorry for the poor sod who is married to her now. She was damaged goods from the get-go, and nobody is ever going to fix her.

Hormonal fluctuations notwithstanding, my wife and I are coming up on 11 years of marital bliss. It helps if you understand all that female code talk.

[johnnyj]

.... the answer is a little mixture of Xanax and Ex-lax...

The Xanax quiets them down considerabley, but if they should blow up, the ex-lax keeps them confined to a very small room.

Better living through chemistry....

G

[moetownblues]

Yep they can go absolutely ballistic over nothing. If they have a bad dream at night then beware the next morning.

[johnnyj]

Yep they can go absolutely ballistic over nothing. If they have a bad dream at night then beware the next morning.

oh man, there is nothing funnier than when they are pi$$ed at you for something you did in their dream lol

Edit: fixed typo

Edited March 10, 2010 by johnnyj

[moetownblues]

Yep they can go absolutely ballistic over nothing. If they have a bad dream at night then beware the next morning.

oh man, there is nothing funnier than when they are pi$$ed at you for something you did in their dream lol

Edit: fixed typo

Yep, last night I was apparently caught chockers up one of ger friends in her dream and she was not impressed. When I told her to stop stealing my dreams well that didn't help things Guess I won't be getting any for awhile. Bloody thai's no sense of humour.

Edited March 10, 2010 by moetownblues

[midasthailand]

A mate of mine is in Afghanistan as a water treatment engineer and his true love decided to spend a week in the white robes at the temple. After starving herself and meditating for a week, she left the temple and then had a "vision" that her man was at that moment in a bar on Sukhumvit with another girl! She called him immediately (4 A.M in Afhganistan) and started accusung him of coming back to Thailand on holiday and being with another girl. Against my advice he set this girl up in an apartment, gives her a monthly stipend and during his last visit he gave her US$5,000 to buy some land in her home province.

He called me the next day and asked me to speak to her (he thought she must be on drugs) I met her in the evening with her sister and we talked about her accusations and the total inappropriateness of calling him and accusing him while he is supporting her from afar. This girl has always been insanely jealous and if he was 10 minutes late coming home from the Gym she would be sending him text messages asking him who he was with and who he was F##ing!

Initially he asked me to remove his stuff from the apartment and keep it at my place but then he realised he was putting me at risk and decided to leave things as they are until he comes home on holidays.

While she is not your typical Thai girl, my experience tells me there are more girls like her than any where else I've lived. personally I reckon it is their over exposure to Thai soaps that makes them behave the way they do.

Edited March 10, 2010 by midasthailand

[wetface]

Edited March 10, 2010 by wetface