How Many Lie's From Your Partner

[geriatrickid]

Lies I Have Been Told

Darling, I miss you so much. (When I'm away.)

You made me feel so good and you were very good. (After trying to do my manly duties and falling asleep instead.)

It is quite big.

You are not fat.

It will be ok. (After losing a major case.)

Don't worry, that's not a serious bite.

If you do not give me the money, the child will die. (On my saying no to help some begger.)

I like your brother.

Your ex girlfriend is very nice.

Your gay friend can visit any time.

I do not know what happened to your favourite tshirt (The one that she wanted to throw out because it was ugly and ripped)

Don't worry, I do not need a new motorbike. (After I have a fit over her last crash because her bike is unsafe.)

[eek]

I suppose it depends on how desperate you are to believe the lies....

Thats the sad part, isnt it. Sometimes even if you get a gut instinct, you just want to ignore it or tell yourself you are wrong to think that way. Problem is, if a seed of doubt is sown, every little thing that seems out of place just makes it grow. It lies with both couples to create a feeling of trust and reassurance. Sadly some people think its ok to be fairly flexible with the truth. Small things i dont care about (i recall my ex loved to buy weird spare parts and things for his car which he liked to suup up..but i knew he covered how much he bought/paid etc. I didnt mind, i did the same things with some shoes or clothes!...where i said i paid less or would give a rough figure..oh they were about x price or they were in a sale etc. I duno, this wasnt bad in my books, we just were embarrassed about how much we spent sometimes.) But if he had lied about BIG things or important things, that would have crushed..because then i would also wonder what other important things did he lie about. As a person who believes in honesty (ie: if my ex had even asked me directly "how much did you REALLY pay", i would give an honest answer and apologise), it possibly hurts more if i find out a friend or partner or family member etc lied to me. Sad thing is that lying seems much less of an big deal to many people that i had ever realised ( i dont mean through this thread. Just in general)

[MJP]

Go and speak to BIGBIKEBKK (Tony). He'll find you a nice new girl friend. You have the choice of black, blue or green. Lot's of after market performance parts available too.

dam_n this hits close to home for me. The entire reason I am so alone and miserable these days is because I was forced to break up a 6 year relationship because she would not stop lying.... even though I still love her. I forgave some real dooozies boy I tell ya. I mean serious hidden double life lies... I forgave them all under the condition that she never ever tell even the slightest lie again, not one. 3 months later she told me another whopper of a lie, no matter how painful I had to live up to my threat or I will forever be miserable chasing after the truth from her, and you cant have a relationship with absolutely no trust. She's not Thai by the way.... here I was thinking I was being clever by not dating Thai women. Silly me.

[eurasianthai]

i ask this question because i can not tolerate a liar

Well, how do you find out?

I guess you do not tolerate bad liars, the ones you can find out they're liars.

But I'm sure you tolerate the good ones, since you do not know they're liars.

Or do not want to know actually...

[GungaDin]

My favourite lie sticks in my mind from 8 years ago.

"I never lie to you"

That's when the BS started...

[WeeGB]

One.

There is no point in being in a relationship if there is any dishonesty involved. Once you find out your partner has lied, how can you ever trust anything they say or do again?

That is true back in the West, but different considerations apply here in LOS.

Who would believe back home that men would fall for the 'you so hansum - love you too much' line in Thailand?? But they do - only the first lie and everyone wants to believe its true - despite everything they knew back home about life in Thailand......

No, sorry, have to disagree with you on this one.

Not everyone here is in a relationship with an ex bar girl, which is where I assume you get your "quote".

I think it also only fair to say that this "chat-up " line used by bar girls, is part of the job, and doesn't prevent some of these ladies from ending up in relationships where they are honest and faithful, not all obviously, but some.

As far as I'm concerned honesty is everything in a relationship, I don't lie or cheat, and I expect the same from my partner, wherever she is from, and wherever we live. Probably like the majority of posters on here, I've been in relationships where the other partner has lied or cheated on me, I've always finished the relationship immediately. Why waste time, effort and money on someone you can't trust?

[eurasianthai]

Why waste time, effort and money on someone you can't trust?

And if you trust someone, and love her/him, it is no effort and nothing to do with money.

And time just goes too fast, we waste so much of it for nothing actually...

[WeeGB]

Why waste time, effort and money on someone you can't trust?

And if you trust someone, and love her/him, it is no effort and nothing to do with money.

And time just goes too fast, we waste so much of it for nothing actually...

Very true.

Off-topic, ever thought of a career writing romantic greetings cards? I think you'd do well.

[YanTree]

The number of lies is not nearly as important as the type. Thai's lie a lot for a variety of reasons. To save face, to allow you to save face, to protect you or others' feelings etc. They take the concept of a "white lie" to a whole other level. These I have grown to accept, if not fully approve of or understand.

However lies such as where they were the previous night (at my sisters home instead of fuc_king some guy) or lies to get money are ones that are one and done. I catch them making one of these capital punishment lies and the relationship is over.

I broke up with my last girlfriend because she told me she was staying home and she later told me she went to a sleazy after hours club. Not even really a lie, she changed her mind and was honest about it - problem is I told her never to go there. Finito.

She could lie about being tired or nothing is wrong or blah blah save face as much as she wants.

[drum]

i

ask this question because i can not tolerate a liar,and no matter how long a friend, partner or college i find it difficult to see them has i knew them before the Lie's started,just wonderd if this a human trait,or is it just me,

Uhhhhh are you living in Thailand? If the answer is yes, I suggest an active search for a country you might feel mroe at home in. If you plan on living here for any length of time, given what you have stated you will not like it, just a fact.

i live in Thai 3/4 months per year bit drastic to relocate because as some post say Thais lie has a habit,

[whichschool]

17ish

[drum]

I have found that many will not lie unless pushed for a response. They seem to change the topic or answer with a question, ignore the question, etc. If its worth pursuing and important enough that you are upset, I would recommend a change in scenery for one or the other if it continues past the first time.

yes i have noticed this with friends rather than tell the truth they answer with a question or change the topic then have a screaming fit,i put this down to being caught out and losing face,

[drum]

How Many Lie's From Your Partner, before you end the relationship?

for me one would make me lose trust in a partner two would make me have serious thought's to end a relationship,

why would you ask this question?

i ask this question because i can not tolerate a liar,and no matter how long a friend, partner or college i find it difficult to see them has i knew them before the Lie's started,just wonderd if this a human trait,or is it just me,

You created this topic so l must assume you have been bombarded with lies from "someone" and looking to see if we all suffer the same stuff. Am l right, if so what lies have you discovered that brought you to ask the question?

after my first very short affair with a Thai girl who was a very poor liar so it soon ended,i made no bones about the fact with my partner now for a very happy 5 years plus that 1 lie or broken trust from her and that will be the end,now i have many friends in Thai, mostly the women tell lies constantly about any thing,to the point now where i have told my partner i never want to see one our friends again,and if she turns up at our home for a gossip it puts my partner on edge in-case i go off on one,plus it makes me feel uncomfortable pretending to be nice for the sake of my partner

why i ask this question,should i tolerate liars and put it down to the way it is,,

[drum]

17ish

sorry i dont understand 17ish

[Sakeopete]

Honesty is not a highly regarded virtue in Asia as it is not considered profitable.

[tigerfish]

what to do? when the love of your life, lies to you, to feed her alcohol and drug addiction, plus her illness of anorexia/ bulimia eating disorders.

this is a question i was faced with some 14 year back in my life.

once upon a time in a nightclub on a saturday night in islington, n.london u.k. i thought id met the ideal girl. fun loving, loved a good night out, a drink and wasnt your usual kind that would only order a salad when going out for a meal in a restaurant.

we instantly fell for each other, she was a nurse/midwife (and a bloody good one at that) from s.wales, loved going out and we enjoyed all the things most young couples liked to do together. gigs(festivals/ music) eating out, the pub, sex, the cinema etc etc....

we both had our own careers and friends and lived life to the max.

after a few months we decided that the natural step would be to get an apartment together and found a place in archway london. close enough to work and all the places we enjoyed frequenting in our spare time.

things were going great and we couldnt have been happier, did the ikea thing, buying stuff for the flat, spent days in the park with friends picnicing and long summer nights down the flask pub on highgate hill. even talked about starting a family and getting married.

then about 6 months into the relationship things started to seem strange, weird, different. maybe i just woke up to the fact one day that everything just didnt seem right somehow. maybe i was just blind in love, it happens to us all at some point in our life.

things just didnt add up anymore, why was a well paid and highly graded nurse in the nhs always short on money? why could she eat so much and never put weight on? why after every meal would she always insist on going to the bathroom? how could this girl drink me under the table and still get up for work the next morning and not be hungover? why did my wallet always seem to be missing the odd 20 quid? and various other abnormalities that you wouldnt expect in a relationship.

to cut a long story short things came to a head on new years eve 1997 in the worlds end pub, in camden when she grabbed a bottle of moet champagne out of a guys hand. drank it dry and proceeded to fall backwards flat on her back, out cold and unconcious.

the next day whislt she spent most of the day in bed, id decided to make the usual phone calls to friends and family on both sides to wish everyone a happy new year.while doing so id expressed that i was getting more and more concerned with her behaviour to the afore mentioned people. after about 2 hours on the phone, i couldnt beleive what i was being told.

it turns out that after speaking to them that my girlfriend had a history of alcohol abuse, drug addiction,eating disorders(been in rehab), had been married to a guy that had beaten her and had been sexually abused as a child by one of her uncles.

after talking to her that night about what i now knew, and there being alot of tears on both sides spilt and emotions that had been bottled up for such a long time and finally released. we came to the decision that it was time to comfront the situation and get her help. we knew that it wasnt going to be easy, it was going to test our relationship to the full and probably change things forever, as far as our life together was concerned. but i promised her that no matter what happened that i still loved her and would stick it out for as long as it would take for her to get better and overcome her troubles.

in febuary 1998 she was admitted into a rehab centre in n. wales. i got to see her every 2 weeks for 2 hours on a sunday afternoon, whilst see spent almost 3 months coming to terms with her illness, her troubles from her past and getting clean. i sought councelling, went to group meetings every week for people who have family/loved ones/ partners that are addicts. and spent time with her doctors, therapists and councellars learning about her problems and what i might expect when she was finally released from rehab.

that spring she set foot back into the outside world, she got her job back at the hospital were she had worked before,we started to build a life back together again and worked on all the major things that needed to be addressed concerning her illness.

after about 4 months of being clean and being on a strict diet, i was finally starting to beleive that we had come out the otherside of all that had happened and was thinking of a happy future together.

late that october she came home from work at the usual time, but i could sence that something was worrying her. after asking, what was the matter. she told me that it might be a good idea to sit down as there was something she needed to tell me. with those words, my heart sank. thinking that after all we had been through she had now come to the decision that she no longer loved me and wanted to call it a day.

on the 18th of july 1999 at 11 minutes past 9 at night in the cardiff royal infirmary, my girlfriend lost her fight against cancer and severe cirrhosis of the liver.

although now happily married to my thai wife of 6 years plus, there is not a single day that i dont blame myself when i think about my girlfriend back in the u.k. that i lost to the damaged caused by alcohol, drug abuse and the evil affects caused by eating disorders.

r.i.p. mandy my love.

tigerfish.

[hextac]

Please define what constitutes a lie. From my experience here a lie is NOT:

something they didn't tell you

something you asked, but they didn't understand 100% so they nodded/shook (delete as appropriate) their head, or said "Uh"

something they considered irrelevant

something they said to avoid hurting your feelings

something you asked, but neglected to define in binding terminology that a supreme court would have trouble deciphering, and they rendered the point moot.

Which leaves very little to play with...

[Thongkorn]

Just one lie from my wife and she is gone , I know it and so does she, also the same goes for me If she finds that I have lied she too says I am gone,

[drum]

i ask this question because i can not tolerate a liar

Well, how do you find out?

I guess you do not tolerate bad liars, the ones you can find out they're liars.

But I'm sure you tolerate the good ones, since you do not know they're liars.

Or do not want to know actually...

gut instinct thats how i find out,Ive always been a people watcher body language gives away many things,i wont tolerate a bad liar,i will even pursue to the bitter end if i think some one has told me a lie,because i do want to know,

has for white Lie's they always make me smile,like you ask your partner how much did you pay for your hand bag,you know the answer before you ask the question,has she says with a smile on her face,not much sweet heart 50% discount,, this is tolerable to me

[YanTree]

17ish

sorry i dont understand 17ish

17ish=about 17/around 17/something like 17=i think he was being sarcastic

[sanook2me]

Please define what constitutes a lie. From my experience here a lie is NOT:

something they didn't tell you

something you asked, but they didn't understand 100% so they nodded/shook (delete as appropriate) their head, or said "Uh"

something they considered irrelevant

something they said to avoid hurting your feelings

something you asked, but neglected to define in binding terminology that a supreme court would have trouble deciphering, and they rendered the point moot.

Which leaves very little to play with...

24 posts in 7 years but blindingly brilliant....

well worth the wait...