Dad Can't Speak Thai, The Kids Can't Speak English

[MB1]

Nothing new. He's lucky his wife can speak English. Why someone would marry a woman here with three kids is beyond me.

Maybe because the two youngest are the fathers mentioned in the OP.

[a2396]

I have two girls here - 8 and 10 - English is their first language. The Mrs. and I both used English only at home (except the odd argument of course) until just recently - in many ways I guess I had the opposite problem that their English is far superior to their Thai, but now they are at a bi-lingual school, they are catching up.

They still speak only English with me and their (Thai) mum, as this is what they are used too. We wanted English to be their primary and first language, but I do have regrets that we allowed this to be at the cost of their Thai. The thought was that if we speak both, that their mum (primary carer pre-school) would tend to only use Thai (its hard not too) and they would not have English as primary. Its a difficult peg to square. Though it also had the benefit of making my wife's English fluent over the years too. Even our Thai friends tend to speak English with the kids too as they know they will understand them then. Only Grandparent speak to them in Thai as they have no English.

Having said that, I can not understand the guy from the Op either - though I might suggest that he is new on the scene (maybe none of the kids are from his loins) and it is an excuse to cover this fact. If I really wanted my kids to have Thai as a primary language, then I would also have learned Thai (which I did anyway - but another story) so I could communicate with them. Hearing parents of deaf children learn sign language, not because they have to or need to, but because they want to communicate with their kids and their kids' friends etc. The more I think about it, the more I feel my supposition is correct.

I think it depends entirely on where you see them living and working after they have left school in Thailand.

If they are going onto further education at a university in England or the States or working abroad then English must be there primary language, if they going to stay in Thailand then Thai must be there primary language as it is the language of this country.

A lot of foreigners seem obsessed with there children being fluent in English at the expense of there Thai without having any plans for there future.

Alfie, surely giving your children the best start in life whether they live in Thailand or abroad is the number one priority for a parent!

and surely out of pure choice for the children when they grow up then they absolutely need to speak, read and write English fluently!

I think it's a lazy mans way out to say something like "Oh they live in Thailand so why should they learn English"?

Where I work, English speaking professionals get paid far more than non English speakers.

Really? Most Thais don't give a rip about English. They might as well not bother teaching it here. 95% of the people I encounter can't speak a word of it.

[WOOHOO]

Whether you consider the man right, or wrong, he reacted in the same way most of us would if we were given a self-righteous lecture by a perfect stranger.

It would have been better if the OP had just kept his mouth shut.

If that isn't a post by someone with no children, and who isn't likely to have any, then I don't know what is.

How you can turn that around to criticize the OP is jaw dropping.

I think the OP has the patience of a saint! I would have told him straight, exactly what I thought of him and he wouldn't of liked it much.

The bloke is a cretin and if he was in the West would probably have his children forcibly removed from him. His wife is equally to blame, we don't need to surmise where he found her!!

[somtampet]

Nothing new. He's lucky his wife can speak English. Why someone would marry a woman here with three kids is beyond me.

i thought 2 of the kids were his.Is that beyond you too

[somtampet]

Whether you consider the man right, or wrong, he reacted in the same way most of us would if we were given a self-righteous lecture by a perfect stranger.

It would have been better if the OP had just kept his mouth shut.

If that isn't a post by someone with no children, and who isn't likely to have any, then I don't know what is.

How you can turn that around to criticize the OP is jaw dropping.

I think the OP has the patience of a saint! I would have told him straight, exactly what I thought of him and he wouldn't of liked it much.

The bloke is a cretin and if he was in the West would probably have his children forcibly removed from him. His wife is equally to blame, we don't need to surmise where he found her!!

Now thats a man with a very nasty tongue,a keyboard warrior and no doubt a perfect Bangkokian parent.

People like you should be banned from forums with that nasty edge to you.

[a2396]

Nothing new. He's lucky his wife can speak English. Why someone would marry a woman here with three kids is beyond me.

i thought 2 of the kids were his.Is that beyond you too

Whatever, he said he's got three kids and none of them can speak English. If two are his, he's been asleep at teaching them any English. I wouldn't touch a deal like that with a ten foot pole. Looks like he better learn Thai, since he says he will not retun to England.

[F1fanatic]

Not always true - I speak from personal experience.

Personally, I suspect Wolf5371 is probably right - "I might suggest that he is new on the scene (maybe none of the kids are from his loins) and it is an excuse to cover this fact."

Nothing else makes any sense. He obviously has some sort of chip on his shoulder.

If that was the case, which I would say is not particularly likely. He didn't seem the shy retiring type, from the OP's description, so I would guess he would have told the truth, but that wouldn't be a good enough excuse anyway. If you are in that position you do what's right regardless. If you're not prepared to do that, you don't get yourself in that position in the first place.

But perhaps the reason he was so aggressive was because he was embarrassed to admit that none of the children were his when 2 of them were so young?

I'm not saying this is definitely the case, just that it makes more sense than a man who's been here for many years, speaks no Thai and can't be bothered to communicate with his OWN children.

[KarenBravo]

^^^

Don't worry about it somtampet. WOOHOO is my very own internet leg-humper. He seems to follow me around the forum. I feel honoured, really.

Edited April 14, 2010 by KarenBravo

[WOOHOO]

Now thats a man with a very nasty tongue,a keyboard warrior and no doubt a perfect Bangkokian parent.

People like you should be banned from forums with that nasty edge to you.

To what are you referring?

If you're too tender to have a conversation with someone, who has strong feelings about what is border line child abuse, in my opinion, then I think public forums may not be the best place for you!!

[Loz]

Whether you consider the man right, or wrong, he reacted in the same way most of us would if we were given a self-righteous lecture by a perfect stranger.

It would have been better if the OP had just kept his mouth shut.

PLUS 1 !!!

I agree with the OPs approach to raising half thai kids 100% I can totally see how the guy he met though, might view him as some kind of pious holier than thou type who needs to butt out of other peoples business. I mean, you can tell from what you know about the guy he is not the brightest bulb in room. Why pour gasoline on the fire?

[WOOHOO]

^^^

Don't worry about it somtampet. WOOHOO is my very own internet leg-humper. He seems to follow me around the forum. I feel honoured, really.

Don't flatter yourself mate.

I think you'll find I had made several posts before you got here.

If it seems that I pay more attention to your posts than others, it's because I genuinely have issues with what you say, pretty much all of the time. It's not a witch hunt, I assure you.

Not that I'm calling you a witch.

[Livinginexile]

Whether you consider the man right, or wrong, he reacted in the same way most of us would if we were given a self-righteous lecture by a perfect stranger.

It would have been better if the OP had just kept his mouth shut.

PLUS 1 !!!

I agree with the OPs approach to raising half thai kids 100% I can totally see how the guy he met though, might view him as some kind of pious holier than thou type who needs to butt out of other peoples business. I mean, you can tell from what you know about the guy he is not the brightest bulb in room. Why pour gasoline on the fire?

I never tried to shame the guy!

We were the only couple with kids therefore we found ourselves sitting next to them.

Don't get me wrong, the kids were gorgeous and very well mannered. His wife was a good Mother and her and my wife spoke for ages.

I never said a word untill he asked me about my son. Should I have kept my mouth shut?

[sarahsbloke]

I met another English guy today, he said to me ......

I can't ever be a Thai citizen, I can't own land, I will never be allowed to be more than a foreigner here, so why should I make any effort to learn the language or take any responsibility for any children I father here. They don't want me here so @$3& em.

I can sort of understand his point of view (pretty much every other country in the world will offer a spouse/parent citizenship).

The Thai government clearly don't want us here as more than tourists!

Can I also point out to the self righteous brigade that many Thai ladies actively discourage their English-speaking partner from learning ANY Thai, my former gf would go so far as to deliberately tell me wrong words when I was trying to learn, and this is a very common attitude.

Edited April 14, 2010 by sarahsbloke

[Loz]

You seem like a decent chap, mate.

Unless you have never learned the concept of "Implication" then its hard to understand why you would not realise that suggesting:

...it was my duty as a father to make sure his first language is English and that we would be going home when his high school education starts.

implies that it he is falling short of his duties. If that is not gonna upset someone, I don't know what is?

If you had not used that inflamatory language I would not be making this point but you seem to have no idea how "superior" such terms make you sound. In Pattaya I think you'd be lucky not to be taking your dinner through a straw...

[Birdman]

why people start threads about minor incidents in their day by day life, criticising some complete strangers without any inside knowledge about issues is questionable indeed...

[somtampet]

Now thats a man with a very nasty tongue,a keyboard warrior and no doubt a perfect Bangkokian parent.

People like you should be banned from forums with that nasty edge to you.

To what are you referring?

If you're too tender to have a conversation with someone, who has strong feelings about what is border line child abuse, in my opinion, then I think public forums may not be the best place for you!!

now you are saying border line abuse,does that still allow the kids to be taken from the parents

[somtampet]

^^^

Don't worry about it somtampet. WOOHOO is my very own internet leg-humper. He seems to follow me around the forum. I feel honoured, really.

he is one of them stalkers is he???

He seems very strange to me but takes all kinds mate

[rgs2001uk]

I ment another English guy today, he said to me ......

I can't ever be a Thai citizen, I can't own land, I will never be allowed to be more than a foreigner here, so why should I make any effort to learn the language or take any responsibility for any children I father here. They don't want me here so @$3& em.

I can sort of understand his point of view.

The Thai government clearly don't want us here as more than tourists!

Makes me wonder what attracted him here in the first place and why he stays?

[somtampet]

You seem like a decent chap, mate.

Unless you have never learned the concept of "Implication" then its hard to understand why you would not realise that suggesting:

...it was my duty as a father to make sure his first language is English and that we would be going home when his high school education starts.

implies that it he is falling short of his duties. If that is not gonna upset someone, I don't know what is?

If you had not used that inflamatory language I would not be making this point but you seem to have no idea how "superior" such terms make you sound. In Pattaya I think you'd be lucky not to be taking your dinner through a straw...

LOZ

i CAN think of a few guys who would have stuck the dinner down his throat,plate an all

[Livinginexile]

You seem like a decent chap, mate.

Unless you have never learned the concept of "Implication" then its hard to understand why you would not realise that suggesting:

...it was my duty as a father to make sure his first language is English and that we would be going home when his high school education starts.

implies that it he is falling short of his duties. If that is not gonna upset someone, I don't know what is?

If you had not used that inflamatory language I would not be making this point but you seem to have no idea how "superior" such terms make you sound. In Pattaya I think you'd be lucky not to be taking your dinner through a straw...

LOZ

i CAN think of a few guys who would have stuck the dinner down his throat,plate an all

Charming

[a2396]

I met another English guy today, he said to me ......

I can't ever be a Thai citizen, I can't own land, I will never be allowed to be more than a foreigner here, so why should I make any effort to learn the language or take any responsibility for any children I father here. They don't want me here so @$3& em.

I can sort of understand his point of view (pretty much every other country in the world will offer a spouse/parent citizenship).

The Thai government clearly don't want us here as more than tourists!

Can I also point out to the self righteous brigade that many Thai ladies actively discourage their English-speaking partner from learning ANY Thai, my former gf would go so far as to deliberately tell me wrong words when I was trying to learn, and this is a very common attitude.

You are right about your last sentance. I have been here 5 years and have met quite a few ladies. Maybe 3 or 4 ever expressed any serious interest in teaching me Thai. But, their efforts ar learning English were practically nil as well. Fortunately, I have found a few who speak good English and they learned most of on their own before they met me. A couple of them are quite good at being interested in improving their speaking.

[MB1]

You seem like a decent chap, mate.

Unless you have never learned the concept of "Implication" then its hard to understand why you would not realise that suggesting:

...it was my duty as a father to make sure his first language is English and that we would be going home when his high school education starts.

implies that it he is falling short of his duties. If that is not gonna upset someone, I don't know what is?

If you had not used that inflamatory language I would not be making this point but you seem to have no idea how "superior" such terms make you sound. In Pattaya I think you'd be lucky not to be taking your dinner through a straw...

LOZ

i CAN think of a few guys who would have stuck the dinner down his throat,plate an all

Charming

Amazing how threads degenerate , why can't people just debate or just give an opinion on a subject instead of getting worked up about it and getting involved in tit for tats, ahhh the world of internet forums.

[jubby]

Charming Indeed

unfortunately its a subject I've been thinking about for a couple of weeks . I wish I could resist posting sometimes

[Loz]

THe idea of having kids and not learning how to talk to them is abhorrent to me. But I would never stand up and tell a guy doing such that I thought he was a bad father. Its not my place to judge and if I do, had jolly well better keep the judgement to myself.

I totally agree with Living in Exile's view, however. Why bring kids into this world if you have no interest in even talking with them?

[Mosha]

Comonsense approach from the start. He talked to the children in English and she in Thai. He's been lazy and left the kids to his wife.

[WOOHOO]

I met another English guy today, he said to me ......

I can't ever be a Thai citizen, I can't own land, I will never be allowed to be more than a foreigner here, so why should I make any effort to learn the language or take any responsibility for any children I father here. They don't want me here so @$3& em.

I can sort of understand his point of view (pretty much every other country in the world will offer a spouse/parent citizenship).

The Thai government clearly don't want us here as more than tourists!

Can I also point out to the self righteous brigade that many Thai ladies actively discourage their English-speaking partner from learning ANY Thai, my former gf would go so far as to deliberately tell me wrong words when I was trying to learn, and this is a very common attitude.

It is possible to become a Thai citizen if you're a Farang, but thankfully, you have to do a bit more than hump someone. It would be a bit like giving a dog a treat every time it humped a cushion! There's not a lot the Thai Govt. get right but that sure is one of them. What makes that lovely man, who would say something like " I won't be responsible for any children I father here" think another country would want him as a citizen. Or are you telling me he was a lovely chap until he discovered the Thai laws and only then became a scum bag?

As for your point about 'Thai ladies actively discouraging their partners from learning English'. Do you think there might be a reason why she's your ex? Perhaps she wasn't 'The one' after all. Not the one to take home to meet the folks. No normal Thai woman would do such a thing. If they do, take it as the first sign to get on your toes, the honeymoon will soon be over!

You seem like a decent chap, mate.

Unless you have never learned the concept of "Implication" then its hard to understand why you would not realise that suggesting:

...it was my duty as a father to make sure his first language is English and that we would be going home when his high school education starts.

implies that it he is falling short of his duties. If that is not gonna upset someone, I don't know what is?

If you had not used that inflamatory language I would not be making this point but you seem to have no idea how "superior" such terms make you sound. In Pattaya I think you'd be lucky not to be taking your dinner through a straw...

You make it sound like the bloke was standing on a soap box, shouting at random people as they went by. They were sitting together in a bar or restaurant. He said what he said, then the OP told him how he did things differently (correctly) You're giving the bloke a hard time because he used the words 'My duty'? Extremely harsh.

I get the feeling if the man then asked for help, advice how to do things better, the OP would have willingly obliged. I don't think he's as self rightious as you maintain.

At the end of the day, it's a bit hard to not come across as being "superior" as you called it, when you so quite clearly are. Just by being yourself, that will happen anyway. It would be a bit like me blaming Carl Lewis for making me look slow in a running race, would hardly be his fault.

It's very apt you should say that in Pattaya, someone would have put him in hospital for such a comment, because I would put a lot of money on that that's where they met.

LOZ

i CAN think of a few guys who would have stuck the dinner down his throat,plate an all

And you had the audacity to say that I'm a keyboard warrior with a nasty edge!!

Pot, kettle, black, my friend.

[BigWheelMan]

I can describe them in three words:

DEAD BEAT DAD`S

[Livinginexile]

Thank you for that woohoo,

I never tried to shame the guy, he asked me about my son and i told him.

Edited April 14, 2010 by Livinginexile

[ilyelol]

That's pretty sad considering my kid is not even 2 and he understands 3 languages including english and english is not my first language.

But then again, what can we expect from an english man relocating to thailand? Cant really expect everyone to be the 1% of expats who are decent human beings

[MB1]

That's pretty sad considering my kid is not even 2 and he understands 3 languages including english and english is not my first language.

But then again, what can we expect from an english man relocating to thailand? Cant really expect everyone to be the 1% of expats who are decent human beings

I take it from that remark you have a dislike of English men who relocate to Thailand, don't tar everyone with the same brush...

Mind you your recent posting history says you also have a dislike of Thai civillisation IMO and I'll quote a post you made on the 12th April 2010...

THANK YOU THAIS. I GET BANNED FOR CALLING YOU AN INFERIOR CIVILIZATION EVERY MONTH AND NOW YOU'VE PROVEN ME RIGHT.. MY GF CAN NOW GET REFUGE STATUS IN MY COUNTRY AND ITS EASIER THAN A BOTTLE OF ASPIRIN AT THE PHARMACY

I can't see you being on TV long much longer with your attitude...

But no doubt you'll return even if you are banned every month..

,

Edited April 14, 2010 by MB1