Older Men, Younger Women

[rrose070]

Well, OK, if we're talking about 20's being not old...

[doppa]

Dang Doppa, I was just going to ask you out until I read the end of your post!

do you have a speech impediment, its just the rrose, thought you might have a stutter [ no offence if you have like]

[sbk]

Totally off topic rrose, but my sister has MS, diagnosed in 1992. And while she has episodes, some severe enough to put her on a ventilator, none have resulted in permanent disability. She still works, walks without a cane, travels to seminars, raised her three kids, obtained her masters and PhD, talks without slurring, in fact, if it weren't for the steroids causing puffiness, (and of course, the episodes that put her in hospital) you'd never know she had MS.

Perhaps she's been lucky, but perhaps your brother seriously needs to look into his meds? She's a scientist so, obviously researched the hel_l out of it and made sure she gets on all the newest ground breaking meds. I don't know if your brother has a different type or what, but please, for his sake, make sure he is getting the right medicine and the best medicine.

Totally off topic and my apologies, please feel free to PM me if you want to talk more about this

[whiterussian]

20 or 25 years between my grandfather and his second wife (my grandmother).

She was English/Greek he was Russian, I think they married when she was about 25 ish over in Casablanca during WWII.

lived happily ever after.

She did only ever use 'Vous' instead of 'Tu' when speaking to him for the rest of his life...

(Polite french vs Informal french)

Not sure if I can convince the wife here to address me a 'Khun' though... but only 5 years age gap.

Scary thing is I have seen her older sisters , and dont mention her mother

Edited April 21, 2010 by whiterussian

[MonsieurHulot]

Are there any much older women with much younger guys here?

Yes, my wife.

[rrose070]

SBK, Well (cue violins) he was born blind, albino and grew to be 6'7" - he was breech with the cord around his neck and oxygen deprived - so he was dealt a pretty harsh hand to begin with. He finds THC helps, although of course I wouldn't advise it without a doctor's opinion. That's not sarcasm; I hate the stuff.

[WinnieTheKhwai]

Well, OK, if we're talking about 20's being not old...

Hahahahaha... Keep in mind, many Thai women feel they're over the hill when they hit 25 years of age.

( The men of course are just getting started. )

WTK

[rrose070]

And Doppa, the first r is for my first name, the second is for my last name. But I do sometimes stutter

[mark45y]

From the other side of the coin, my 40 year old Thai GF of 3 years had a 20 year old Thai boyfriend. He is gay. One night I picked him up and we went out. He was a singer at a Thai club. She actually got upset!

I thought it was funny. He really got “what for” when she called him up to complain about his infidelity. I probably should not have told her he was a good kisser.

I have been called a snake head a couple of times in Thailand. I felt better about it before I spoke Thai. Afterwards I became a little self conscious but I learned. Have a crash pad. Crash pads are inexpensive in Chiang Mai and come in handy for all sorts of things, storage, visiting friends and so on.

Thai men are a lot more understanding about snake heads than Thai women.

Which makes no sense to me because I have seen just as many older Thai women playing around with younger men as older Thai men playing around with younger women.

In the interest of fair play I think the topic should have the old men and young women thing changed to older partner and younger partner.

[neverdie]

Speaking of gays, I know a guy who was in the closet for 67 years. He moved here, came out, and met a uni grad, employed, age about 33. He's been his partner for nearly ten years.

Exactly how old is this guy PB? You say he was in the closet for 67 years, which to me sounds as if he was in his late 70ies when he came out & now hes been in a relationship for another 10 years.....late 80ies. Amazing Thailand old man.

Anyway, back on topic, I turn 101 at the end of the year and I see absolutely nothing creepy about dating my current 18 year old girlfriend

Edited April 21, 2010 by neverdie

[WinnieTheKhwai]

In the interest of fair play I think the topic should have the old men and young women thing changed to older partner and younger partner.

How about: "age-agnostic partner of any ethnic background or gender, and age-agnostic partner of same or any other ethnic background and gender, of a different by not necessarily higher or lower age" ?

Edited April 21, 2010 by WinnieTheKhwai

[WinnieTheKhwai]

Speaking of gays, I know a guy who was in the closet for 67 years. He moved here, came out, and met a uni grad, employed, age about 33. He's been his partner for nearly ten years.

Exactly how old is this guy PB? You say he was in the closet for 67 years, which to me sounds as if he was in his late 70ies when he came out & now hes been in a relationship for another 10 years.....late 80ies. Amazing Thailand old man.

Hint: Coming out of the closet is not a 10 year process.

[rrose070]

You guys are right - I should have titled this thread more carefully. I dashed it off on the spur of the moment.

[neverdie]

Speaking of gays, I know a guy who was in the closet for 67 years. He moved here, came out, and met a uni grad, employed, age about 33. He's been his partner for nearly ten years.

Exactly how old is this guy PB? You say he was in the closet for 67 years, which to me sounds as if he was in his late 70ies when he came out & now hes been in a relationship for another 10 years.....late 80ies. Amazing Thailand old man.

Hint: Coming out of the closet is not a 10 year process.

so, if that were the case, then this man, whilst a child & most likely unaware of sexuality issues, was deemed to have been in the closet?

[WinnieTheKhwai]

Ah.. I see. Anyway, I think I understood that it meant that he only came to Thailand, and out of the closet, when he was 67. But feel free to try to read other things into it just because you can.

[uptheos]

I have a friend, a widower, who moved over here from the UK when he was 70 - that was 4 years ago.

He got together with a Thai lady aged about 35 almost immediately - it's irrelevant how he met her.

He's generous to her and helps his step daughter a lot with her education, but has set firm boundaries with extended family.

He moans every time I hear from him........"why the bloody hel_l didn't I do this when I was 60?"

Happy as old Larry (who was old Larry anyway)? He never thought he'd be so happy in his twilight years.

[PeaceBlondie]

My friend was closeted until arriving in Thailand. He's 77 now.

[PeaceBlondie]

Some folks exit the closet slowly, to trusted friends. I never came out to my parents, ten years after I told my kids.

[louialive]

At the end of the day what is age, its just a number.

It is all about personality and compatability. The numbers don't matter (within reason).

There are of course exception to every rule and there are gold diggers both male and female.

If you are happy and secure with the person you are with then life is great

[CMX]

Picture above deserves comment:

I gather that we are hanging on to a tentative agreement that long-term relationships must be mutually beneficial for us to like them. This might include those based on finances (historically in the West, older man, younger woman, arranged marriages, all that). Pressed, some of us might suppose that male lust was different from that of women, and that we can see a lot of our behaviors in the animal kingdom.

Thing is, that’s not what we claim to be today, animals. Male’s advantages over women (choice of the herd, in those species that are like humans) were never mental, might have related to aggression, and always have been tied to physical strength that resulted, in primitive worlds, in greater amounts of food, power, and wealth. Physical advantages no longer apply, though the deck of cards has been fixed. Those of us from Western nations, even those who have not been “successful” in our respective nation’s terms, are big-deal bulls here, but not because of any particular competence.

When we see finances at the heart of a relationship (in my country, the “trophy wife” is common enough), we’re observing a legacy. It is going to take longer than China to be a world power, but a woman’s mind will someday require that relationships are based on common wealth at the outset. (I guess that more conventional Muslim nations will arrive toward the end of this evolution, a great deal of patriarchy is sewn into religions.)

Another word: I speak as a hetero (relevant here only to lend legitimacy to the observation), but from what I see in Chiang Mai, age differenced west-east gay relationships are far more egalitarian (in public) than those of western old-guy, young Thai gals. If I had a 25 satang for every old western guy hanging on to the hand of a relatively young Thai woman (neither looking happy), I would have enough baht to go to every bar in town every night and buy a round for everyone. Which one is insulting?

Finally, I find long-term relationships much more rewarding when agreements and compromises are not influenced by money, because both partners are able to operate comfortably and independently, if the deal goes sour. But meanwhile, issues are dealt with as issues, partners are truly partners, and the gun of money is out of the relationship. Then the woman shakes off the hand, out there in public. Maybe 2200 by the Western calendar.

Anyway, no, age does not preclude happy relationships at all. But the financial issues raise questions.

[LJW]

For me, I prefer 18-20 year olds who have a normal conservative background. No bar scene at all.

With these women, I find it much easier with them because there is no comparison with older women

and all of their head trips regarding money, men issues, and their kids...

Talking about mutually interesting stuff is less, though I speak Thai very fluently, but the Love is wonderful

Oh, and I am 55

[IanForbes]

What is the purpose of this post?

You must have some hidden agenda for you to actually write this.

You act like Thailand is the only place on earth this happens?

Have you ever traveled around in 3rd world countries?

This is not unique to Thailand what so ever.

Fat, skinny, rich, poor who really cares.

Every country in the world is exactly the same.

You will find it all in any country you visit.

Old with young, skinny with fat etc. Even in your own country

So why does this deserve a post?

You try to stereotype Thailand that this is only unique .

This subject has been hammered to death

If old and young, rich and poor, fat and skinny want to get together, whose business is it except their own?

Stereotyping Thailand as something it is not is wrong no matter what you think

Your type of post is the very reason that eek closed the other one down. The topic hasn't been hammered to death, but many similar topics get closed because people are too polarized in their thinking and resort to nasty comments about others.

When a forum desolves to just posting questions about where is the best place to eat, or how to get from A to B, then that forum quickly dies from lack of interest. I've seen it happen many times on formerly good forums.

There was no stereotyping in the OP's topic and it deserves to be posted as much as any other topic. She mentioned that her brother found a woman to love in Thailand, and where it would be almost impossible to find similar love in western cultures.

Thailand is a wonderful country to visit for many reasons, of which just one is there is the very real possibility of meeting someone attractive to love... or even just to have a good time with for a short while. Whether or not someone gets paid is of no importance, and nobody's business but the two people.

I know that when I come to Thailand it is like taking a step back in time to where I can act and perform like a man in his thirties. It's like a breath of fresh air and I don't lack for partners who enjoy their time with me. I can walk around the country like I own the place. It is like the best party you ever went to, and where at the end of the night you can go home with the prom queen if you choose to do so.

[IanForbes]

Personally, that's my goal. Marry a younger guy so there's more of a chance that we can die at the same time. I appreciate older guys for that maturity/stability factor, but I don't want to be with a guy 15 years older than me and then spend 20+ years living alone after he croaks.

Very good point, tonitan. That very reason is why I won't get married again. I realize there will be a time when I can't perform like a man any longer and wouldn't want to subject a young wife to looking after some old invalid when she is still in the prime of her life. And, as much as I love children, I wouldn't want them to grow up without a father, or someone young enough to play with them.

[britmaveric]

Two consenting adults then I do not have a problem with any age difference. Good long lasting relationships require lot of work regardless of age/looks ect!

[likite]

What is the purpose of this post?

You must have some hidden agenda for you to actually write this.

You act like Thailand is the only place on earth this happens?

Have you ever traveled around in 3rd world countries?

This is not unique to Thailand what so ever.

Fat, skinny, rich, poor who really cares.

Every country in the world is exactly the same.

You will find it all in any country you visit.

Old with young, skinny with fat etc. Even in your own country

So why does this deserve a post?

You try to stereotype Thailand that this is only unique .

This subject has been hammered to death

If old and young, rich and poor, fat and skinny want to get together, whose business is it except their own?

Stereotyping Thailand as something it is not is wrong no matter what you think

Your type of post is the very reason that eek closed the other one down. The topic hasn't been hammered to death, but many similar topics get closed because people are too polarized in their thinking and resort to nasty comments about others.

When a forum desolves to just posting questions about where is the best place to eat, or how to get from A to B, then that forum quickly dies from lack of interest. I've seen it happen many times on formerly good forums.

There was no stereotyping in the OP's topic and it deserves to be posted as much as any other topic. She mentioned that her brother found a woman to love in Thailand, and where it would be almost impossible to find similar love in western cultures.

Thailand is a wonderful country to visit for many reasons, of which just one is there is the very real possibility of meeting someone attractive to love... or even just to have a good time with for a short while. Whether or not someone gets paid is of no importance, and nobody's business but the two people.

I know that when I come to Thailand it is like taking a step back in time to where I can act and perform like a man in his thirties. It's like a breath of fresh air and I don't lack for partners who enjoy their time with me. I can walk around the country like I own the place. It is like the best party you ever went to, and where at the end of the night you can go home with the prom queen if you choose to do so.

You know ian you do talk <deleted> sometimes but fares fare to you on this one --- agreed.

Edited April 21, 2010 by likite

[sarahsbloke]

My wife is 34 and I am 54

Before she met me she had never had a relationship with a western man, she had never lived with any man (but had been a Mia noi to a Thai man of similar age to me). His family would never allow them to marry as her family were not good enough (poor farmers).

At age 5 her father left the home after beating her mother, at age 12 she left school to work with her mother as a labourer on a building site (without a high school diploma you can't even work in a 7/11), at 22 she had a child with a Thai boyfriend, who was promptly jailed for dealing Yabba (and is still in jail), after that she worked on and off on the family tobacco farm. Her daughter was due to leave school next year at age 12 (no money to pay for schooling), her daughter has never seen her father.

After meeting and marrying me she now has many choice in her life and is not just trying to survive, she can go back to school and get her high school diploma (if she wants), her daughter can continue to high school and then CM university. When our own children arrive they will be able to go to high school and university.

This story is not uncommon among Thai ladies!

I don't make any unusual sexual demands on her. Her biggest fear is that I will leave her but she desperately wants more children before she is too old. She doesn't trust men and who can blame her, I hope one day she will come to trust me.

Now can someone kindly explain to me how I am taking advantage of this lady, or how her life has been damaged by marrying someone so much older and from a different society?

Edited April 21, 2010 by sarahsbloke

[LJW]

My wife is 34 and I am 54

Before she met me she had never had a relationship with a western man, she had never lived with any man (but had been a Mia noi to a Thai man of similar age to me). His family would never allow them to marry as her family were not good enough (poor farmers).

At age 5 her father left the home after beating her mother, at age 12 she left school to work with her mother as a labourer on a building site (without a high school diploma you can't even work in a 7/11), at 22 she had a child with a Thai boyfriend, who was promptly jailed for dealing Yabba (and is still in jail), after that she worked on and off on the family tobacco farm. Her daughter was due to leave school next year at age 12 (no money to pay for schooling), her daughter has never seen her father.

After meeting and marrying me she now has many choice in her life and is not just trying to survive, she can go back to school and get her high school diploma (if she wants), her daughter can continue to high school and then CM university. When our own children arrive they will be able to go to high school and university.

This story is not uncommon among Thai ladies!

I don't make any unusual sexual demands on her. Her biggest fear is that I will leave her but she desperately wants more children before she is too old. She doesn't trust men and who can blame her, I hope one day she will come to trust me.

Now can someone kindly explain to me how I am taking advantage of this lady, or how her life has been damaged by marrying someone so much older and from a different society?

Seems to me that your are both taking advantage of each other. Nothing wrong with it, if both are agreeable, in my opinion.

[IanForbes]

You know ian you do talk <deleted> sometimes but fares fare to you on this one --- agreed.

I know that. Sometimes I INTENTIONALLY talk <deleted> for no other reason than to get an interesting discussion going. I don't mind playing the bad guy if people get to enjoy a good debate. But, one thing I'll never do is make nasty comments about others... even when they take shots at me. I can usually back up everything I say... in a nice way.

[rrose070]

Thanks, Ian and others. Oops, I promised I'd shut up!

[ChiangMai2]

You know ian you do talk <deleted> sometimes but fares fare to you on this one --- agreed.

I know that. Sometimes I INTENTIONALLY talk <deleted> for no other reason than to get an interesting discussion going. I don't mind playing the bad guy if people get to enjoy a good debate. But, one thing I'll never do is make nasty comments about others... even when they take shots at me. I can usually back up everything I say... in a nice way.

nope, I think you'll find you do it all the time