Thai Women And The Question Of Money

[IanForbes]

It's not unlike the meat market. You go to the butcher and you really would like a steak. But, steak costs $10 a pound, and you decide that hamburger at $2 a pound doesn't taste all that bad... so you go home with the hamburger.

The cute young gals fetch the higher price... because they can. The older, plain ones are almost as nice and don't cost near as much. It's really quite simple.

I don't blame the Thai women for using whatever they've got to get what they want.

The handsome young guys are kind of cute, but they aren't particularly stable, and they've got less money. The smart Thai gal decides she can have both. She'll get some older guy to pay all the expenses and stay with him while he's around. Then, while he is away making more money the gal can slip out with her Thai boyfriend. It makes a lot of sense.

[clausewitz]

If you behave the same way you would with a Western woman (expect her to pay half the mortgage/rent, living cost etc.) you're unlikely to go wrong.

Plus, of course, making sure she comes from a similar background, similar age, you can communicate and understand each other etc. etc.

It doesn't happen often here, but sometimes it does.

The rest, 99% of the time, are just kidding themselves.

Let me see. My japanese wife: half my age, graduated good uni. , ex beauty queen, earns a high salary,

after wedding, her well off parents gave us a very large sum( and paid for unbelievably expensive wedding.)

But if I take your advice I should find a 50years plus Aussie boiler.. And we will be happier?

[thaibeachlovers]

If a Thai woman is not working be prepared to cough up 20,000 baht a month....

This answers my query I have had for some time.

You chat to Thai women on the net and she asks, " Will you support me?"

Now I know how much dough she really wants.

she may have 10 others on the same hook. i have met a few who do the net thing, after work in the bar they go to the internet shop, to talk to there boyfreinds. and get sent money every month from lots of unsuspecting guys. and meet them when they get to thailand. they go home and another one arrives take heed.

You sound like you think it's a bad thing. What's wrong with using your only asset to make money while you can?

Any guy that takes up with a Bar Girl, and thinks she loves only him is either naive, or a fool. Whatever, if they have a good time when they are here, probably good value. Back home they have to go to a bar and buy woman lot's of drinks, pay for meal in fancy restaurant, and no guarantee of a happy ending.

The west is full of gold diggers. Remember that woman who wrote a book about how to marry a millionaire? Love doesn't come into it. What do you think millionaires are wanting from the beautiful girl on their arm, stock analysis perhaps?

[sarahsbloke]

She'll get some older guy to pay all the expenses and stay with him while he's around. Then, while he is away making more money the gal can slip out with her Thai boyfriend. It makes a lot of sense.

My first Thai gf had an American 'husband', while he was away in America earning money to support her, she went around with me, I only had to provide meals and drinks. When he came back she said 'he not here long, he have lots of money, I can get more from him, when he go back we can be together, I love you'.

Her 'husband' used to drink with me and tell me how lucky he was to have a faithful Thai lady who was different to all the rest.

She used to talk with me in front of him, in Thai, and pass me notes in Thai .......... he never bothered to learn the language.

He was a really nice guy, but dreadfully dull, I felt so bad after getting to know him that I had to end it with her.

The American and I were exactly the same age .............. it's not always about youth, knowing how to have fun is important.

She wasn't a bar girl.

All their friends knew about me, nobody told him, not even his best mate who was making their wedding rings.

Learn to speak Thai, harder for them to cheat.

Edited May 12, 2010 by sarahsbloke

[kaewmala]

I think I'm in love with the author's brain.

My only criticism would be the chart she came up with- I thought that could be improved in certain areas, but I appreciate what she is trying to do. One possible better approach would be to use a real life example for each category, rather than attempting to generalise the same.

As for the article itself, a good read, although I was left with the impression that the author was holding back some of her own analysis. Almost trying to be too impartial- works well in certain areas of publishing but on a blog I hope for either solid reducible objectivity; providing the best most charitable argument for all sides considered- or a staunch and brave defence of the author's own take on the issue- I found no clear sign of either and alot of questions- which would be acceptable if I didn't have the feeling that this particular author could do so much more than that if she let herself. Hopefully, there is a part 2.

A refreshing & enjoyable blog, at any rate.

OxfordWill,

You're perceptive. Perhaps I was restrained in the article, but I think there's already too much emotion on the issue. I might have written a different article a couple of years ago but maybe I'm getting more mellow as I grow older and (I hope) become more mature. Thai-farang relationships have mystified me for years and I don't think I understand them very well even now.

Relationship in general is a difficult thing to understand and in a cross-cultural situation it can be even more vexing - as outsiders looking on we see all the time how some otherwise very intelligent people make stupid choices. There is something about treading on unfamiliar cultures - some people learn fast, many take time to figure things out, while quite a few don't seem to learn anything at all, leaving all the common sense they normally use at home, at home. It's like they revert to childhood with all innocence and credulity (which unfortunately in adults is rather more like stupidity).

Still, I have sympathy (or at least try to), but apparently in my not very successful effort to be sympathetic and understanding in my article I might have become less than brave. But I hope not insipid! I'd hate to lose all my spunk in old age.

At any rate, I would very much like to have more specific suggestions on my chart you mentioned. Comment on my blog, if it wouldn't be so much trouble?

Funny thing, it's just been hinted to me that I should make a chart for Thai women looking for foreign men too. Not quite sure I'm up to that.

Oh, and to Ian, thanks for your comment.

cheers,

[OxfordWill]

Yes you are right- incredibly difficult. Without writing your own ethnography- perhaps there is little utility to be found in the process. However, I appreciate what you were trying to do. I think the concept of this chart doesn't go far beyond pop appeal- and perhaps that's not something we can or should hope to improve (for fear of abject failure and a 400 page long rant thread on thaivisa.com). However if I can think of anything else I'll be sure to comment on your blog. All that springs to mind is using specific examples, but then we come back to lacking the completeness of an ethnography, if we wish to draw anything but curiosity from it.

I am also mystified by thai-farang relationships (including my own)!

[hawthorne]

Not sure about the huge difference in west and east women but am dam_n sure of the difference in the west (USA) and east court systems when it comes to divorce. It is better to never ever be married than to have to go through a divorce with that Court system. If the ex died yesterday it would not be soon enough for me.

[F1fanatic]

IanForbes said (wrongly)

Yes, most western courts give each party 50% at the time of the divorce.

In the UK if there are children under the age of 16, the wife is usually given the house outright, everything else split 50/50 plus the man pays 10 percent of his income for each child until they are over 19 years old. If the woman gets less than that she should have used a better solicitor.

But as Ian says, I'm sorta thankful she got so much, otherwise I wouldn't have had the courage to dump all responsibility for the 4 kids and move out here to start a new family. I have a pal from the UK who got the same deal, but worse, he had a going away 'for old times' shag, she produced another kid from it, house plus 20 years at 10 percent of his income, she just gave up her job (too hard with the new baby) and wants the award reassessed, so back to court again, 2 years after everything was finalised. Looks to me like no divorce in the UK is ever final!

In the UK a single parent with two kids is ENTITLED to a minimum income of 15,000UKP a year with no taxes, the woman can always get sole custody and never has to work again (unless she wants to). Not that I'm picking fault with my ex ........ If I could have grabbed the kids and the income, I would have done it too.

You must be really proud of yourself (I still can't believe you posted that)!

So you dumped your FOUR children..... Good grief - how awful/unbelievable is that?!

Yes, in the UK if a wife has the children to look after she will often get the house - UNTIL THE CHILDREN ARE GROWN UP. After that it has to be sold and both parties share the money from the sale. And to think that having to pay 10% of one's income to pay for each child is a bad thing?? It must be me, I always thought it was an automatic assumption that both parents would pay to the best of their ability to give their children the best possible life.

As for a single parent with 2 children getting 15,000 pounds p.a. on welfare, you could be right - I can't be bothered to check it out. BUT, be honest, living in the UK with 2 children, that's close to poverty..... Have you forgotten how much it costs to live in the UK?

You have made it clear why children are normally put into the care of the mother - they actually want to look after their children - not just "If I could have grabbed the kids and the income, I would have done it too".

[F1fanatic]

Not sure about the huge difference in west and east women but am dam_n sure of the difference in the west (USA) and east court systems when it comes to divorce. It is better to never ever be married than to have to go through a divorce with that Court system. If the ex died yesterday it would not be soon enough for me.

You might think that now, but somehow I know that if it actually happened you would change your opinion.

I've recently lost my husband who left me for a Thai woman he met in a bar 2 years ago.....

Never mind how much you hate what they've done, at the end of the day you loved them and (believe me) you will be devastated if the worst happens.

[Siam_superfly]

If the girl wants money from the farang... tell'em to go to NaNa ...

If they dont ask and have real job, then a bit of help here or there is ok... but anybody who sends money or gives the girl thousands of baht, is a FOOL !!!

FOOL !! got it !!! $$$$ ..

[ozzieovaseas]

I would have absolutely no qualms at all in "taking care" of a woman, providing that taking care means providing food,buying clothes and providing day to day needs..ect

If i was involved with a girl who had low paying job and had to send money home then fine, id have no qualms about them mooving in my appartment rent & expense free...(provided we were a good match of course)

That is what i call "taking care"

I figure the girl would then have more of her OWN money free to spend in whatever way she chooses.

Sadly though,when we farangs "take care" its soon met with "take advantage"

[F1fanatic]

I would have absolutely no qualms at all in "taking care" of a woman, providing that taking care means providing food,buying clothes and providing day to day needs..ect

If i was involved with a girl who had low paying job and had to send money home then fine, id have no qualms about them mooving in my appartment rent & expense free...(provided we were a good match of course)

That is what i call "taking care"

I figure the girl would then have more of her OWN money free to spend in whatever way she chooses.

Sadly though,when we farangs "take care" its soon met with "take advantage"

Good grief - how often do I have to point out that if you moved in with a woman in your own country, both partners would contribute to the household expenses until they had children. Even then, in the vast majority of cases the woman would go back to work for financial reasons, or because she found doing nothing but looking after children was boring - she needed something to keep her brain active.

After a LONG time together, the partnership may decide to help out a family member that is struggling - but it would not be expected as a matter of course.

I will never understand why some people come here and suddenly think that a woman who expects them to pay for everything (including a monthly payment to the parents) if they move in together, is not just looking for money.....

[F1fanatic]

I would have absolutely no qualms at all in "taking care" of a woman, providing that taking care means providing food,buying clothes and providing day to day needs..ect

If i was involved with a girl who had low paying job and had to send money home then fine, id have no qualms about them mooving in my appartment rent & expense free...(provided we were a good match of course)

That is what i call "taking care"

I figure the girl would then have more of her OWN money free to spend in whatever way she chooses.

Sadly though,when we farangs "take care" its soon met with "take advantage"

Double post - having major blo..y probs with intenet.

Edited May 16, 2010 by F1fanatic

[ozzieovaseas]

I would have absolutely no qualms at all in "taking care" of a woman, providing that taking care means providing food,buying clothes and providing day to day needs..ect

If i was involved with a girl who had low paying job and had to send money home then fine, id have no qualms about them mooving in my appartment rent & expense free...(provided we were a good match of course)

That is what i call "taking care"

I figure the girl would then have more of her OWN money free to spend in whatever way she chooses.

Sadly though,when we farangs "take care" its soon met with "take advantage"

Good grief - how often do I have to point out that if you moved in with a woman in your own country, both partners would contribute to the household expenses until they had children. Even then, in the vast majority of cases the woman would go back to work for financial reasons, or because she found doing nothing but looking after children was boring - she needed something to keep her brain active.

After a LONG time together, the partnership may decide to help out a family member that is struggling - but it would not be expected as a matter of course.

I will never understand why some people come here and suddenly think that a woman who expects them to pay for everything (including a monthly payment to the parents) if they move in together, is not just looking for money.....

Ok point taken..but i dont think your reply was relevant to the situation i was talking about..

If you chose a thai GF with a very low paying job,but you considered her to be basically a good person with a good heart...who you knew WOULDNT take advantage of the situation, would you not want to provide for her??

SO F1....What about this scenario?...

The farang has a small income flow from investments from overseas..lets say anything over 20,000 per month..doesnt have to work in Thailand and pretty much has a life of liesure..

The girlfriend earns around 6-8,000 baht per month, lives in a crap appartment and sends money home when she can...she has no interest in working the industry and (quite honorably i think) chooses to do it the hard way..

So you would have her moove into your appartment and ask for 4000 baht a month towards the rent??

[somtampet]

If you behave the same way you would with a Western woman (expect her to pay half the mortgage/rent, living cost etc.) you're unlikely to go wrong.

Plus, of course, making sure she comes from a similar background, similar age, you can communicate and understand each other etc. etc.

It doesn't happen often here, but sometimes it does.

The rest, 99% of the time, are just kidding themselves.

So where do i find a thai lady who lived on the biggest council estate in Europe and had to fight every day to keep my head held high.Will have tofind a chinese/thai lady as those chinese are buggers lol

[somtampet]

I would have absolutely no qualms at all in "taking care" of a woman, providing that taking care means providing food,buying clothes and providing day to day needs..ect

If i was involved with a girl who had low paying job and had to send money home then fine, id have no qualms about them mooving in my appartment rent & expense free...(provided we were a good match of course)

That is what i call "taking care"

I figure the girl would then have more of her OWN money free to spend in whatever way she chooses.

Sadly though,when we farangs "take care" its soon met with "take advantage"

Good grief - how often do I have to point out that if you moved in with a woman in your own country, both partners would contribute to the household expenses until they had children. Even then, in the vast majority of cases the woman would go back to work for financial reasons, or because she found doing nothing but looking after children was boring - she needed something to keep her brain active.

After a LONG time together, the partnership may decide to help out a family member that is struggling - but it would not be expected as a matter of course.

I will never understand why some people come here and suddenly think that a woman who expects them to pay for everything (including a monthly payment to the parents) if they move in together, is not just looking for money.....

Ok point taken..but i dont think your reply was relevant to the situation i was talking about..

If you chose a thai GF with a very low paying job,but you considered her to be basically a good person with a good heart...who you knew WOULDNT take advantage of the situation, would you not want to provide for her??

SO F1....What about this scenario?...

The farang has a small income flow from investments from overseas..lets say anything over 20,000 per month..doesnt have to work in Thailand and pretty much has a life of liesure..

The girlfriend earns around 6-8,000 baht per month, lives in a crap appartment and sends money home when she can...she has no interest in working the industry and (quite honorably i think) chooses to do it the hard way..

So you would have her moove into your appartment and ask for 4000 baht a month towards the rent??

Some good points.

My long term gf wants to go back to work after looking after the son for 9 years but i said if you are not desperate to go back 6-8,000 baht is peanuts to work 6 days a week,when we can have prime time in the day and we both can have prime time with son in the evening.I dont give family money and i dont give gf a budget,she takes money out of wallet for small things.

[F1fanatic]

I would have absolutely no qualms at all in "taking care" of a woman, providing that taking care means providing food,buying clothes and providing day to day needs..ect

If i was involved with a girl who had low paying job and had to send money home then fine, id have no qualms about them mooving in my appartment rent & expense free...(provided we were a good match of course)

That is what i call "taking care"

I figure the girl would then have more of her OWN money free to spend in whatever way she chooses.

Sadly though,when we farangs "take care" its soon met with "take advantage"

Good grief - how often do I have to point out that if you moved in with a woman in your own country, both partners would contribute to the household expenses until they had children. Even then, in the vast majority of cases the woman would go back to work for financial reasons, or because she found doing nothing but looking after children was boring - she needed something to keep her brain active.

After a LONG time together, the partnership may decide to help out a family member that is struggling - but it would not be expected as a matter of course.

I will never understand why some people come here and suddenly think that a woman who expects them to pay for everything (including a monthly payment to the parents) if they move in together, is not just looking for money.....

Ok point taken..but i dont think your reply was relevant to the situation i was talking about..

If you chose a thai GF with a very low paying job,but you considered her to be basically a good person with a good heart...who you knew WOULDNT take advantage of the situation, would you not want to provide for her??

SO F1....What about this scenario?...

The farang has a small income flow from investments from overseas..lets say anything over 20,000 per month..doesnt have to work in Thailand and pretty much has a life of liesure..

The girlfriend earns around 6-8,000 baht per month, lives in a crap appartment and sends money home when she can...she has no interest in working the industry and (quite honorably i think) chooses to do it the hard way..

So you would have her moove into your appartment and ask for 4000 baht a month towards the rent??

Yes, whilst making it clear you'll pay for all the other bills. She'd still have 2-4,000 baht a month for herself (and her family), no less than she would have if you weren't involved.

After a while things would change, as she would have shown that she was not there entirely for the money.

If she didn't contribute something, she is WAY better off than she was on her own. What does that tell you?

[Colabamumbai]

Has she introduced you to mother yet and discussed how much Sin Sod (dowry) that you will be expected to pay for the pleasure of having her. Many Thai women the second time round expect twice as much as the first Thai husband paid because you are a foreigner. I am taling from personal experience.

[ozzieovaseas]

I would have absolutely no qualms at all in "taking care" of a woman, providing that taking care means providing food,buying clothes and providing day to day needs..ect

If i was involved with a girl who had low paying job and had to send money home then fine, id have no qualms about them mooving in my appartment rent & expense free...(provided we were a good match of course)

That is what i call "taking care"

I figure the girl would then have more of her OWN money free to spend in whatever way she chooses.

Sadly though,when we farangs "take care" its soon met with "take advantage"

Good grief - how often do I have to point out that if you moved in with a woman in your own country, both partners would contribute to the household expenses until they had children. Even then, in the vast majority of cases the woman would go back to work for financial reasons, or because she found doing nothing but looking after children was boring - she needed something to keep her brain active.

After a LONG time together, the partnership may decide to help out a family member that is struggling - but it would not be expected as a matter of course.

I will never understand why some people come here and suddenly think that a woman who expects them to pay for everything (including a monthly payment to the parents) if they move in together, is not just looking for money.....

Ok point taken..but i dont think your reply was relevant to the situation i was talking about..

If you chose a thai GF with a very low paying job,but you considered her to be basically a good person with a good heart...who you knew WOULDNT take advantage of the situation, would you not want to provide for her??

SO F1....What about this scenario?...

The farang has a small income flow from investments from overseas..lets say anything over 20,000 per month..doesnt have to work in Thailand and pretty much has a life of liesure..

The girlfriend earns around 6-8,000 baht per month, lives in a crap appartment and sends money home when she can...she has no interest in working the industry and (quite honorably i think) chooses to do it the hard way..

So you would have her moove into your appartment and ask for 4000 baht a month towards the rent??

Yes, whilst making it clear you'll pay for all the other bills. She'd still have 2-4,000 baht a month for herself (and her family), no less than she would have if you weren't involved.

After a while things would change, as she would have shown that she was not there entirely for the money.

If she didn't contribute something, she is WAY better off than she was on her own. What does that tell you?

Well it works both ways..there are many ways in which the guy would also be a lot better off...

Someone to go home to, keeps you out of bars..and drinking to much (that saves me 4000 per month easy by itself), keeps you away from possibly worse gf scenarios..someone to help out around the place,assist in any day to day dealings you might have with living in LOS.ect ect

Usually a good girl will contribute by bringing home food after work and will buy groceries and daily things needed out of her own money..

If i asked a girl like that who works near on 10-12 hours a day for half of her monthly salary while i sat around doing nothing i would feel like a kee niow

sniff sniff..makes me wish i had one now

[ozzieovaseas]

Has she introduced you to mother yet and discussed how much Sin Sod (dowry) that you will be expected to pay for the pleasure of having her. Many Thai women the second time round expect twice as much as the first Thai husband paid because you are a foreigner. I am taling from personal experience.

Point taken, but mine was a hypothetical scenario loosely based on previous experience.

Personally, i've missed out on the bad stuff because ive never been around long enough to get to the sinsod stage

Still a wedding in Oz could cost you upwards of AU$10,000, + rings ect and you wouldnt really know how long that would last.

At the end of the day i dont think anyone anywhere can deny it will end up costing both parties something in the end, whether that be emotional or financial hardship/loss.

However i must say i feel sorry for the western females on the other side of coin..those who have stuck by their man through thick and thin,and have often been the one supporting the guy, only to see him run off with a thai girl later on.

Still, I never had that luxury, most girls back home would stare straight through me and willingly pick the better looking rogue womanizer next to me (same same bum as described above)

[thaibeachlovers]

Has she introduced you to mother yet and discussed how much Sin Sod (dowry) that you will be expected to pay for the pleasure of having her. Many Thai women the second time round expect twice as much as the first Thai husband paid because you are a foreigner. I am taling from personal experience.

Well, the answer lies in your own hands. If she will only marry you if you buy her, either refuse and see how much she REALLY wants YOU, or give the amount you give her each month and tell her to ask her parents for it back, or go without.

Do you REALLY want to marry someone who only wants your money?

Incidentally, my GF told me that a Thai businessman paid 10 million sin sod for some Thai "superstar"! Cripes.

[Markaew]

Some here are advocating support for thai family members when they are in need as they would a family member in our own country. The difference is in our own country there would be a legitimate need for them to ask for money. In thai, the family member ask for money regardless if they need it or not. My in-laws ask for money all the time and they have more money than I do! Primarily, they want the money to give to their other children so they don't have to use their own money.

You cannot compare western culture to this culture. This culture is finely tuned to fleece the farang at every opportunity. I say culture because it is not unique to each family. ALL thais do this. Even the government makes laws to compliment this fleecing.

[Heng]

Part of the reason is that a lot of folks pick the inlaws (and families) from the bottom of the barrel. Marry into the ghetto and expecting lawyers, doctors, and stock brokers?

[Markaew]

Part of the reason is that a lot of folks pick the inlaws (and families) from the bottom of the barrel. Marry into the ghetto and expecting lawyers, doctors, and stock brokers?

Agreed.

But in the west many people that do not have money have character and honesty while not embracing corruption as a norm. But then, by making that statement I am going against my own advice of not comparing other cultures to thai culture.

[featography]

Fi said

If you behave the same way you would with a Western woman (expect her to pay half the mortgage/rent, living cost etc.) you're unlikely to go wrong.

Plus, of course, making sure she comes from a similar background, similar age, you can communicate and understand each other etc. etc.

SB says

My western wife didn't work (even though she had a degree), I paid for everything for 30 years, then gave her my house and most of my pension and savings (OK well maybe I didn't want to give it).

This time I'm doing it different, married someone 20 years younger with no education .............. great legs though!

It's always about money ....... but this time it's about VALUE FOR MONEY!

Good on ya, SB. I'd call that: Post Of The Day!

Amen.

same story here. This time around, its a genuine 100%-100% give and get. We share equally all expenses. We are a partnership in all factions of life. Aside from the learning curve in the culture differences, we married and became ONE. As a side note, those cultural differences between west and east, we find challenging, and far from boring, monotonous or threatening. It's all part of the spice of life, so take the negative opinions of that subject with a grain of salt. Its all in the attitude, people.

[reallyok]

Fi said

If you behave the same way you would with a Western woman (expect her to pay half the mortgage/rent, living cost etc.) you're unlikely to go wrong.

Plus, of course, making sure she comes from a similar background, similar age, you can communicate and understand each other etc. etc.

SB says

My western wife didn't work (even though she had a degree), I paid for everything for 30 years, then gave her my house and most of my pension and savings (OK well maybe I didn't want to give it).

This time I'm doing it different, married someone 20 years younger with no education .............. great legs though!

It's always about money ....... but this time it's about VALUE FOR MONEY!

Find this v hard to believe. Western divorces mean EACH PARTY gets 50%. Why on earth would you agree to more??

Actually, I don't believe you did - you just prefer to tell people otherwise.

50/50................Dream on F1fan, it just does not work that way !

[JohnnyFeelIt]

Has she introduced you to mother yet and discussed how much Sin Sod (dowry) that you will be expected to pay for the pleasure of having her. Many Thai women the second time round expect twice as much as the first Thai husband paid because you are a foreigner. I am taling from personal experience.

LOL.. You guys really haven't got a clue have you? Why don't u ask a Thai from any background hypothetically how much would be expected if a woman had been previously married, or even had a kid prior to meeting you. I think you'll find the answer to be, a sweet FA. They are considered damaged goods, they have already been given a good thrashing by another guy and road registration has already been paid by the first owner...

[kevozman1]

To the OP.

Dude you really are in the wrong country with all this soft nonsense.

Edited May 17, 2010 by kevozman1

[mccw]

I would have absolutely no qualms at all in "taking care" of a woman, providing that taking care means providing food,buying clothes and providing day to day needs..ect

If i was involved with a girl who had low paying job and had to send money home then fine, id have no qualms about them mooving in my appartment rent & expense free...(provided we were a good match of course)

That is what i call "taking care"

I figure the girl would then have more of her OWN money free to spend in whatever way she chooses.

Sadly though,when we farangs "take care" its soon met with "take advantage"

Good grief - how often do I have to point out that if you moved in with a woman in your own country, both partners would contribute to the household expenses until they had children. Even then, in the vast majority of cases the woman would go back to work for financial reasons, or because she found doing nothing but looking after children was boring - she needed something to keep her brain active.

After a LONG time together, the partnership may decide to help out a family member that is struggling - but it would not be expected as a matter of course.

I will never understand why some people come here and suddenly think that a woman who expects them to pay for everything (including a monthly payment to the parents) if they move in together, is not just looking for money.....

Ok point taken..but i dont think your reply was relevant to the situation i was talking about..

If you chose a thai GF with a very low paying job,but you considered her to be basically a good person with a good heart...who you knew WOULDNT take advantage of the situation, would you not want to provide for her??

SO F1....What about this scenario?...

The farang has a small income flow from investments from overseas..lets say anything over 20,000 per month..doesnt have to work in Thailand and pretty much has a life of liesure..

The girlfriend earns around 6-8,000 baht per month, lives in a crap appartment and sends money home when she can...she has no interest in working the industry and (quite honorably i think) chooses to do it the hard way..

So you would have her moove into your appartment and ask for 4000 baht a month towards the rent??

Yes, whilst making it clear you'll pay for all the other bills. She'd still have 2-4,000 baht a month for herself (and her family), no less than she would have if you weren't involved.

After a while things would change, as she would have shown that she was not there entirely for the money.

If she didn't contribute something, she is WAY better off than she was on her own. What does that tell you?

stingy man.

[mccw]

Has she introduced you to mother yet and discussed how much Sin Sod (dowry) that you will be expected to pay for the pleasure of having her. Many Thai women the second time round expect twice as much as the first Thai husband paid because you are a foreigner. I am taling from personal experience.

Well, the answer lies in your own hands. If she will only marry you if you buy her, either refuse and see how much she REALLY wants YOU, or give the amount you give her each month and tell her to ask her parents for it back, or go without.

Do you REALLY want to marry someone who only wants your money?

Incidentally, my GF told me that a Thai businessman paid 10 million sin sod for some Thai "superstar"! Cripes.

i think some passing of money, like when they dont even need it, is about respect to ladies family and face, thai mans like to show off what a big man he is, like collecting minor wives, and having lots of kids, one guy i know said he wanted 5 wives and enough boys for a football team, haha