Thai Women And The Question Of Money

[F1fanatic]

Has she introduced you to mother yet and discussed how much Sin Sod (dowry) that you will be expected to pay for the pleasure of having her. Many Thai women the second time round expect twice as much as the first Thai husband paid because you are a foreigner. I am taling from personal experience.

Well, the answer lies in your own hands. If she will only marry you if you buy her, either refuse and see how much she REALLY wants YOU, or give the amount you give her each month and tell her to ask her parents for it back, or go without.

Do you REALLY want to marry someone who only wants your money?

Incidentally, my GF told me that a Thai businessman paid 10 million sin sod for some Thai "superstar"! Cripes.

I gather that's true! But then again I'd bet good money that she'd never been married before and had no children.....

[F1fanatic]

Fi said

If you behave the same way you would with a Western woman (expect her to pay half the mortgage/rent, living cost etc.) you're unlikely to go wrong.

Plus, of course, making sure she comes from a similar background, similar age, you can communicate and understand each other etc. etc.

SB says

My western wife didn't work (even though she had a degree), I paid for everything for 30 years, then gave her my house and most of my pension and savings (OK well maybe I didn't want to give it).

This time I'm doing it different, married someone 20 years younger with no education .............. great legs though!

It's always about money ....... but this time it's about VALUE FOR MONEY!

Good on ya, SB. I'd call that: Post Of The Day!

Amen.

same story here. This time around, its a genuine 100%-100% give and get. We share equally all expenses. We are a partnership in all factions of life. Aside from the learning curve in the culture differences, we married and became ONE. As a side note, those cultural differences between west and east, we find challenging, and far from boring, monotonous or threatening. It's all part of the spice of life, so take the negative opinions of that subject with a grain of salt. Its all in the attitude, people.

That's wonderful, not to mention incredibly rare!

I genuinely wish you the best of luck with a woman who's obviously not looking to you for money.

[F1fanatic]

Fi said

If you behave the same way you would with a Western woman (expect her to pay half the mortgage/rent, living cost etc.) you're unlikely to go wrong.

Plus, of course, making sure she comes from a similar background, similar age, you can communicate and understand each other etc. etc.

SB says

My western wife didn't work (even though she had a degree), I paid for everything for 30 years, then gave her my house and most of my pension and savings (OK well maybe I didn't want to give it).

This time I'm doing it different, married someone 20 years younger with no education .............. great legs though!

It's always about money ....... but this time it's about VALUE FOR MONEY!

Find this v hard to believe. Western divorces mean EACH PARTY gets 50%. Why on earth would you agree to more??

Actually, I don't believe you did - you just prefer to tell people otherwise.

50/50................Dream on F1fan, it just does not work that way !

Sorry to be rude, but the law says its 50/50. To pretend anything else is outright lying or downright stupidity.

[F1fanatic]

"Yes, whilst making it clear you'll pay for all the other bills. She'd still have 2-4,000 baht a month for herself (and her family), no less than she would have if you weren't involved.

After a while things would change, as she would have shown that she was not there entirely for the money.

If she didn't contribute something, she is WAY better off than she was on her own. What does that tell you?"

"stingy man."

Or woman who is looking for nothing but money.

[GreenSnapper]

Sorry to be rude, but the law says its 50/50. To pretend anything else is outright lying or downright stupidity.

Before calling others 'stupid', I suggest you read one of the many 'divorce guide for women'.

That may teach you how the fleecing works in practice.

[Markaew]

Speaking of fleecing and divorces.

I went through a divorce a few months ago. I was very lucky. After months of fighting the wife, she just wanted out of the marriage but she had a thai woman attorney that was working for her pro bono that was like a pit bull. The attorney said we need go after these farang so they will learn they cannot treat thai women like they do. I had to laugh out loud when I heard this. After all the nonsense I went through and all the money she took from me I had to laugh when they thought I needed to be taught a lesson! Yes, I learned my lesson. Needless to say I believe marriage is a mistake and you can achieve the same thing without a government marriage.

[ozzieovaseas]

Has she introduced you to mother yet and discussed how much Sin Sod (dowry) that you will be expected to pay for the pleasure of having her. Many Thai women the second time round expect twice as much as the first Thai husband paid because you are a foreigner. I am taling from personal experience.

LOL.. You guys really haven't got a clue have you? Why don't u ask a Thai from any background hypothetically how much would be expected if a woman had been previously married, or even had a kid prior to meeting you. I think you'll find the answer to be, a sweet FA. They are considered damaged goods, they have already been given a good thrashing by another guy and road registration has already been paid by the first owner...

[ozzieovaseas]

"Yes, whilst making it clear you'll pay for all the other bills. She'd still have 2-4,000 baht a month for herself (and her family), no less than she would have if you weren't involved.

After a while things would change, as she would have shown that she was not there entirely for the money.

If she didn't contribute something, she is WAY better off than she was on her own. What does that tell you?"

"stingy man."

Or woman who is looking for nothing but money.

mccw: As far as i know F1 is a female..unless your comment "stingy man" was directed at me.

And as far as the points F1 seems to keep banging on about, well, for me i would try to put the shoe on the other foot

If I was the poor one (earned 6-8000 per month) and was intending to live with a thai who was on 30,000+ a month and they demanded to split the rent 50/50...what would i think?

mean

miserable

stingy

just allround not a very nice person

Why would i want to hang around someone like that?

Does that make me a gold digger to?

[Colabamumbai]

Has she introduced you to mother yet and discussed how much Sin Sod (dowry) that you will be expected to pay for the pleasure of having her. Many Thai women the second time round expect twice as much as the first Thai husband paid because you are a foreigner. I am taling from personal experience.

LOL.. You guys really haven't got a clue have you? Why don't u ask a Thai from any background hypothetically how much would be expected if a woman had been previously married, or even had a kid prior to meeting you. I think you'll find the answer to be, a sweet FA. They are considered damaged goods, they have already been given a good thrashing by another guy and road registration has already been paid by the first owner...

Go and talk to some of these girls mothers and get back to me Johnny.

[ozzieovaseas]

IMO, what johnny says is true

The hardest part is getting it into these mothers heads that WE know its true, we are NOT stupid, and we WONT be taken for a ride

Of course if mae sees daughter with a farang she will obviously think he's rich and bung on a special

I just dont get why the guys that do all the hollering dont communicate to their girlfriends beforehand about their mothers expectations..

I am NOT rich..I CANNOT pay sinsod, otherwise we eat 25 baht noodles took took wan for next two years....

Its not rocket science....If this causes her to leave then she probably wasnt worth having in the first place.

[Colabamumbai]

IMO, what johnny says is true

The hardest part is getting it into these mothers heads that WE know its true, we are NOT stupid, and we WONT be taken for a ride

Of course if mae sees daughter with a farang she will obviously think he's rich and bung on a special

I just dont get why the guys that do all the hollering dont communicate to their girlfriends beforehand about their mothers expectations..

I am NOT rich..I CANNOT pay sinsod, otherwise we eat 25 baht noodles took took wan for next two years....

That is exactly what I tell them. Then I tell them that they should be paying me the dowry since it is me who will be looking after them.

Its not rocket science....If this causes her to leave then she probably wasnt worth having in the first place.

[samuibeachcomber]

IMO, what johnny says is true

The hardest part is getting it into these mothers heads that WE know its true, we are NOT stupid, and we WONT be taken for a ride

Of course if mae sees daughter with a farang she will obviously think he's rich and bung on a special

I just dont get why the guys that do all the hollering dont communicate to their girlfriends beforehand about their mothers expectations..

I am NOT rich..I CANNOT pay sinsod, otherwise we eat 25 baht noodles took took wan for next two years....

Its not rocket science....If this causes her to leave then she probably wasnt worth having in the first place.

Ever the practical man

[thaibeachlovers]

Some here are advocating support for thai family members when they are in need as they would a family member in our own country. The difference is in our own country there would be a legitimate need for them to ask for money. In thai, the family member ask for money regardless if they need it or not. My in-laws ask for money all the time and they have more money than I do! Primarily, they want the money to give to their other children so they don't have to use their own money.

You cannot compare western culture to this culture. This culture is finely tuned to fleece the farang at every opportunity. I say culture because it is not unique to each family. ALL thais do this. Even the government makes laws to compliment this fleecing.

Rubbish. I told my fiance straight out no sin sod, no money for her family, has to earn her own money ( just like a western woman ) and she's still my fiance.

I do pay the rent, power, water and most of the food, plus I bought all the household appliances ( which would remain mine if she changed her mind ).

However, the idea of buying her a house, car etc- don't make me laugh!

[fletchsmile]

Some here are advocating support for thai family members when they are in need as they would a family member in our own country. The difference is in our own country there would be a legitimate need for them to ask for money. In thai, the family member ask for money regardless if they need it or not. My in-laws ask for money all the time and they have more money than I do! Primarily, they want the money to give to their other children so they don't have to use their own money.

You cannot compare western culture to this culture. This culture is finely tuned to fleece the farang at every opportunity. I say culture because it is not unique to each family. ALL thais do this. Even the government makes laws to compliment this fleecing.

Looks very much like you didn't do your homework before getting married, and didn't understand the family you were marrying into, which by the sounds of it is a very materialistic one. ALL Thais are not like this. Let's not blame the culture for your own choices and situation

Question: Why are your in-laws supporting "other children"? Are you implying that your wife's brothers and sisters are not yet adults? It's commonplace in Thai society for older siblings to help assume responsibilities for their younger siblings, particularly as children - not necessarily fleecing the farang at all, and would happen even if no farang involved.

By the sounds of it you have a married into a materialistic extended family, and if you happen to be married to a Thai girl who is quite a bit younger than you, with teenage siblings, and you are similar age or older than her parents, your post would fall into place.

Edited May 19, 2010 by fletchsmile

[Thailad]

This topic could go on forever as everyone's circumstances are different.Here i am only speaking about my experiences in thailand.

My first girlfriend was 26 years younger and had no money and no job.I supported her and gave her encouragement to get a job.I found out during the course of our relationship that she had been to a uni in bangkok for 4 years and had obtained a degree,on top of this she spoke,read and wrote very good english.During this time i supported her during a really serious illness.When she got better and she obtained a really good managerial position as office manager here on Samui and was earning 40,000 plus pm.she contributed 50/50 to our expenses.

OK now we are no longer together and i live with my current girlfriend.She does not work(i do not want her to work)but takes care of me for which i give her a monthly allowance that belongs to her and i take care of household bills etc.I am very happy with this,just as happy as i used to be with my ex wife who contributed money.

Have i strayed off topic,i dont know.What i do know is,is that there is no correct or incorrect formula to a couples success,to each there own,what ever makes it successful.

Many posters here bemoan how much it costs them to support their relationship(mostly us older guys with younger ladies)and we forget the costs back home,that we thought nothing of at the time,that we incurred during our usual western style arrangements.

Big Mistake.

She should of continued to work for her own self esteem.

There is nothing like her own money that she earned.

It will come back to haunt you.

[Colabamumbai]

This topic could go on forever as everyone's circumstances are different.Here i am only speaking about my experiences in thailand.

My first girlfriend was 26 years younger and had no money and no job.I supported her and gave her encouragement to get a job.I found out during the course of our relationship that she had been to a uni in bangkok for 4 years and had obtained a degree,on top of this she spoke,read and wrote very good english.During this time i supported her during a really serious illness.When she got better and she obtained a really good managerial position as office manager here on Samui and was earning 40,000 plus pm.she contributed 50/50 to our expenses.

OK now we are no longer together and i live with my current girlfriend.She does not work(i do not want her to work)but takes care of me for which i give her a monthly allowance that belongs to her and i take care of household bills etc.I am very happy with this,just as happy as i used to be with my ex wife who contributed money.

Have i strayed off topic,i dont know.What i do know is,is that there is no correct or incorrect formula to a couples success,to each there own,what ever makes it successful.

Many posters here bemoan how much it costs them to support their relationship(mostly us older guys with younger ladies)and we forget the costs back home,that we thought nothing of at the time,that we incurred during our usual western style arrangements.

Big Mistake.

She should of continued to work for her own self esteem.

There is nothing like her own money that she earned.

It will come back to haunt you.

I will only date Thai women who work.

[havetowelwilltravel]

it's always about money why center on thai women?