Dipping Toe In Water

[MUSHROOMHEADD]

In June, I am making my first visit to Pattaya - (I am an early-40s fresh-out-of-the-closet) bi white guy... and am hoping to experience some of what I have heard so much about - any tips are welcome..

I have had a recommendation from someone here in dubai to stay at the Malaysia Hotel in BKK and Sansuk in Pattaya -any thoughts?

also - I have ony 3-4 days between flights - and whilst I am not looking for LTR I am hoping to meet someone nice, civilian - non-moneyboys, but very feminine and 'soft'? - (is that the term)?

Are there recognised gathering places for effeminate gays in Pattaya - (am a little curious about LB - but really, that scene all seems very commercial, and aggressive).

I also would not mind having a beer with some older, 50+ or retired expats to find out more about the scene in pattaya - and the quality of life there... Is there such a place to meet-up?

[Jingthing]

Try the Corner Bar in Sunnee Plaza to meet long term expats who will be glad to bore you to death with details of the Pattaya scene. (Though you will never find me there.) Anyway, can't go into further detail on your questions as that would violate forum rules except in general to say that for tourists especially avoiding the commercial aspects of Pattaya would be difficult. Best try another specifically gay forum (not Thaivisa).

[MUSHROOMHEADD]

Hi - thanks for that - but did not realise I was contravening any rules - just wondered if there were any venues I should check-out specifically.

as I mentioned - I am referring to 'civilians'

[Ijustwannateach]

As Jingthing said- though more directly- if your goal is to meet 'real' people, your plan to visit Pattaya is pretty much doomed unless you speak, read, and write fluent Thai and know how to use the internet to find them. You're not going to find them publicly in venues that most foreigners understand. Ditto for all tourist-oriented locations. Sorry, but that's how things work.

The forum rules to which JT refers forbid discussion of 'access to prostitution,' and what he is hinting at is that your only chance to understand the expat scene in that city is by discussing this banned subject- so basically he's agreeing with me.

So I guess you should either brush up on your Thai or avoid Pattaya altogether.

[MUSHROOMHEADD]

my thai is pretty average - but enough to be conversational over dinner or the like - non-tchnical thai you could say - i am not condemning the commercial aspect - i have heard enuf stories about Pattaya - but just hoping for some directions away from the obvious boy-bars, for a couple of days spent around locals...

anyhow - the other site is banned here, so if this cannot be discussed, i guess it cannot be discussed.

I would have thought beinga gy Thai does not mean the same as being on the game.

[Credo]

I haven't spent much time in Pattaya in a while, but for a number of years I was a regular there. I like Pattaya, but the scene is very, very commercial. I've met some great people, made some good and lasting friendships in Pattaya, but I must admit, all of them were on the game. This was years ago and some of them I still know well.

You might have better luck finding what your looking for in BKK, but on a short holiday, it will be difficult.

[Ijustwannateach]

I would have thought beinga gy Thai does not mean the same as being on the game.

It doesn't. However, being a moderately-English-speaking Thai in the so-called 'gay' areas of touristy parts of touristy areas looking to meet foreigners in those areas (especially at bars in Pattaya) ups the odds considerably, I'd say to 90%+. I hope you noticed the considerably long string of qualifiers there- it is not the same at all as saying 'all gay Thais are on the game.'

Again, I'd suggest looking for contacts on the internet, preferably people who haven't been living in Pattaya long but happen to be visiting or working there. Better yet, go somewhere else.

[Musongman]

The Malaysia in BKK is not a bad hotel, very gay friendly, and reasonably priced. Sansuk in Soi 11 Pattaya/Jomtien is a nice place, more pricey though. As a guest you get free entry to the "activities" of the public sauna. That may take care of the rest of your enquiries. Enjoy your stay, keep your wits about you, and your hand on your wallet.

[MUSHROOMHEADD]

Thanks for that information - I must say , you have me thinking whether I have picked the wrong place...

I think I explained myself poorly to begin with - I know a few days in a forieign contry is not going to cause me to meet 'the one' - I just have a precious few days of stopover, and rather than meeting any one of a huge number of masculine types - I was looking for direction to where I might seek out a less common personality - the 'soft' type - not sure what it is called in thailand) - to spend those few days with someone I am attracted to.

Thanks also for the info on Hotels - everyone says the Malaysia is a good place - but I don't really know much about it... and I am surprised to hear that Sansuk is more expensive - I had been told it was more affordable - does it compare poorly in price against other places? - any recommendations?

I have done alot of travelling, and never take away more money than I can afford to lose - but, its my first time in Pattaya, and so I will note your words of caution - also, first time in Thailand where I will be mixing into the gay community...

[Jingthing]

Avoid the Malaysia Hotel in Bangkok now! Too close to Rama 4 and the Thai civil war! Best to go to Pattaya. I wouldn't stay at Sansuk as the location is NOT convenient at all.

Today's news --

ThaivisaNew: CRES: Rama IV Road closed from Sam Yan to Ngamduplee, from 6pm today; violators face 2-years prison or Baht 40,000 fine or both

Malaysia Hotel is ON Soi Ngamduplee off Rama 4.

Edited May 14, 2010 by Jingthing

[Ijustwannateach]

I think it could be safely said to avoid all of Thailand at the moment.

[Ijustwannateach]

Thanks for that information - I must say , you have me thinking whether I have picked the wrong place...

I think I explained myself poorly to begin with - I know a few days in a forieign contry is not going to cause me to meet 'the one' - I just have a precious few days of stopover, and rather than meeting any one of a huge number of masculine types - I was looking for direction to where I might seek out a less common personality - the 'soft' type - not sure what it is called in thailand) - to spend those few days with someone I am attracted to.

Thanks also for the info on Hotels - everyone says the Malaysia is a good place - but I don't really know much about it... and I am surprised to hear that Sansuk is more expensive - I had been told it was more affordable - does it compare poorly in price against other places? - any recommendations?

I have done alot of travelling, and never take away more money than I can afford to lose - but, its my first time in Pattaya, and so I will note your words of caution - also, first time in Thailand where I will be mixing into the gay community...

If you are only going to be here a few days and don't speak really good Thai and don't know the ins and outs, you are pretty much doomed to be on the tourist scene, which is about 99% commercial. If you are fairly young and attractive, the most likely thing that will happen is that a prostitute or a 'kept boy' whose husband is out of the country will express interest in you pretending to be a normal gay Thai who is simply mysteriously living in 'expensive' Bangkok without an actual job or means of support (or is a 'student'). Such encounters are fairly common for younger tourists around the Malaysia Hotel area (sorry if I am letting the cat out of the bag for anyone unexpectedly- also, pro wrestling is scripted and Santa Claus was your parents), and can even be found in Pattaya for those who aren't too elderly. I suggest that you be happy with this as it is the most likely access you will have as an unfamiliar visitor to anything like real gay life here, and anyway in such a case the interest expressed will be relatively genuine and harmless.

I would not expect the majority of Thai men gay or otherwise to be regarded as particularly 'masculine' in a Western bar gay clone sense, though most of them do identify as male- they tend to have wiry, rounded muscles and physiques rather than the squared-off and angular 'muscleboy' look. If you are speaking in code and really mean 'ladyboys/transgender/kathoey,' then you need to be on the straight scene where such types are more common (they do not identify as 'gay' and do not look typically for partners who identify as gay), and for short term visitors this almost certainly means you will be meeting commercial types- and in that case you really do need to consult one of the different, more 'specialised' websites. If you mean you are very picky about sexual roles, then you will simply have to talk it out with the people who express interest, or wait-and-see how it turns out.

[BarryM]

Thanks for that information - I must say , you have me thinking whether I have picked the wrong place...

- You have. Go to KL / Singapore/ Hong Kong / Bali.....

I think I explained myself poorly to begin with - I know a few days in a forieign contry is not going to cause me to meet 'the one' - I just have a precious few days of stopover, and rather than meeting any one of a huge number of masculine types - I was looking for direction to where I might seek out a less common personality - the 'soft' type - not sure what it is called in thailand) - to spend those few days with someone I am attracted to.

Just bring your ATM card

Thanks also for the info on Hotels - everyone says the Malaysia is a good place - but I don't really know much about it... and I am surprised to hear that Sansuk is more expensive - I had been told it was more affordable - does it compare poorly in price against other places? - any recommendations?

The Oriental is nice in Bangkok, but can't drag back. For 3000 b try the Meridien in BKK - when they finish the civil war outside. No problem dragging back, although you might get shot.

I have done alot of travelling, and never take away more money than I can afford to lose - but, its my first time in Pattaya, and so I will note your words of caution - also, first time in Thailand where I will be mixing into the gay community...

Have fun.

[chrisyork]

Depending on your budget, a safe intro to Thailand in BKK might be better at the Tarntawan Place in Suriwong. For a first timer, I personally wouldn't set foot out of Bangkok. It's a real city so the in yer face aspects of the gay scene are softened somewhat. Pataya might just be a culture shock too far for a first time. I presume you have found the invaluable "Dreaded Ned's" guide to Thailand? Google that and I think most if not all of your questions should be answered.

Of course these are not normal times. Be very cleasr on the BKK security situation before you travel.

Best of luck

Chris

Edited May 16, 2010 by chrisyork

[Jingthing]

It is horrible advise to suggest any tourist go to Bangkok now. Now is an EXCELLENT time to visit Pattaya. Next ...