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Being A Sex Toy For Farangs!

BambinA

By BambinA
in ASEAN NOW Community Pub

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BambinA Ruby Member

BambinA

Posted
Posted

I'm post-op heterosexual transwoman,. I work in professional carreer ..educated ,doctorate..from university near MBK... :o

I read all the material, including how a guy should date a TS or transgendered person. Ummm, that's right, it's better if a guy thinks about a TS as a genetic woman and treats us the same way. But I think it's very hard to find a man who can do that. :D

For me, I've not really had a problem getting a date. Maybe I am lucky that my voice and manner are feminine,. Nobody knows that I am a TS, they think I am a woman from birth. But I have met a guy who interests me.

The point is, it is so hard to tell them about my real gender, if they find out they will think of me as a liar. I love to stealth, but it is not fair for someone I love. Love is supposed to be honesty, devotion and selflessness. I have told some "who I am" and sure enough, nobody got it. A relationship I once had continued for a while after I told him, then he left me.

Sometimes I am confused. I ask myself, what should I do?

1. Stealth, don't talk of my past, like a liar.

2. Have a relationship for a while, then tell them about my real gender.

3. Tell him about me when I meet a guy who interests me.

My answer to myself:

1. This is cheating and dishonest.

2. My chances of love are 50-50, if a guy loves me for my mind, not for my chromosomes. I am thinking this is a bit selfish, but it's better than the first option.

3. This option means I have a zero chance at love. Probably the guy will run away from me, but it is honest.

I am lonely sometimes. It is spooky to think that I will be alone in my 70s, but I would accept it, it is my fate.

It will be a better world to have a guy, such as one in your article, who will respect me like a woman. This is my first time to tell people that I am a TS. Anyway, if life is beautiful, then I hope I have a nice life, someday.

ps.1 yes..recently when i date with a bloke..he said i can be only his sextoy( last time i dated with a 25 yr brit, he said ..he enjoyed with me..but we cant love) :D

well...if you guys were me, what would you do ? tell guys about past or keep it as secret

i don't want to be a sex toy anymore!! :D

bina Ruby Member

bina

Posted
Posted

u know, this could be troll material but i will answer anyway;

first, i am a female and probably dont represent 3/4 of the posters here so:

once, a while a go, i told my thai friend that he would be a nice 'ketoy'; so, surprisingly, tham jai, he dressed up (he always likes to put on red lipstick since in morlum plays, men can, so he can too), and i have to say, that when u love someone, it doesnt really matter what they look like, etc... the heart stays the same, he could change sex and to me it wouldnt matter; after all, i've had kids, been there, done that, and there's more than one way to enjoy sex...

(if youve seen the movie 'the crying game' u will understand)

however, most men have a bit of a problem with this thing

i think women have less of a problem (we used to joke among girlfriends that we would prefer having a wife, and a husband, since she knew how to take care of the kids, house, and what gives a woman pleasure and a husband for extras......

it is rare, but there are people that love people for who they are and not what they are... but yeah it is a long lonely road..

and totster et al, if she is not a troll, then stop laughing ,this could be u in your next life.... :o

maybe the topic should anyway be moved to the gay forum just to avoid nasty jpeople

headhunter007 Newbie

headhunter007

Posted
Posted

BambinA,

What a dilemma, one us mere mortals never have to face. (And I say that seriously, cause what you might have gone through, personally, emotionally, socially, physically, takes some super-human strength and courage.)

Though hardly one to prescribe for others, I think you need to take the middle path. If love is a possibility, you certainly can't stealth it for the next 40-50 years, can you? And on the other hand, you can't wear a signboard or a badge announcing it to everyone. (Well, you could, but somehow that doesn't seem like your style.)

So, I think you gotta get to know the person, let the person get to know you, for who you are, and then . . . at what you hope will be the right moment, let them know. I'm sure you've developed skills and strategies by now to determine if and when you ever would tell someone. And I'm sure you're good at picking up cues along these lines, too.

And I guess also that only you will know how involved (emotionally or otherwise) you can get in a relationship before you tell him.

So, maybe I'm no help here, but felt that your refreshing candor and honesty deserved some kind of response.

Don't worry, BambinA, Love is out there for you, and you're gonna find it!

BambinA Ruby Member

BambinA

Posted
  • Author
Posted
u know, this could be troll material but i will answer anyway;

first, i am a female and probably dont represent 3/4 of the posters here so:

once, a while a go, i told my thai friend that he would be a nice 'ketoy'; so, surprisingly, tham jai, he dressed up (he always likes to put on red lipstick since in morlum plays,  men can, so he can too), and i have to say, that when u love someone, it doesnt really matter what they look like, etc... the heart stays the same, he could change sex and to me it wouldnt matter; after all, i've had kids, been there, done that, and there's more than one way to enjoy sex...

(if youve seen the movie 'the crying game' u will understand)

however, most men have a bit of a problem with this thing

i think women have less of a problem (we used to joke among girlfriends that we would prefer having a wife, and a husband, since she knew how to take care of the kids, house, and what gives a woman pleasure and a husband for extras......

it is rare, but there are people that love people for who they are and not what they are... but yeah it is a long lonely road..

and totster et al, if she is not a troll, then stop laughing ,this could be u in your next life....  :D

maybe the topic should anyway be moved to the gay forum just to avoid nasty jpeople

u know, this could be troll material but i will answer anyway

>>> obviously its not a troll.. :D

=======================================

i have to say, that when u love someone, it doesnt really matter what they look like, etc... the heart stays the same,

>>> i got ya :D

=======================================

once, a while a go, i told my thai friend that he would be a nice 'ketoy';

>>> well re u farang? ... you know what, its not that nice to call people as katoy, kahtoey whatever u call... imagine if somebody called you bitch...would u like? i dont think so..anyhow i wont call you bitch..slut..<deleted>.. i swear

:D

=======================================

(if youve seen the movie 'the crying game' u will understand)

>>> obviously i saw :o

=======================================

it is rare, but there are people that love people for who they are and not what they are... but yeah it is a long lonely road..

>>> sob sob .. you re right :D

=======================================

and totster et al, if she is not a troll, then stop laughing ,this could be u in your next life.... :D

>>> i will pray for his next life no doubt :D

=======================================

maybe the topic should anyway be moved to the gay forum just to avoid nasty jpeople

>>> sorry im not GAY!! :D

=======================================

anyhow thanks for your comment.. hope we can be freind

BambinA Ruby Member

BambinA

Posted
  • Author
Posted
The similarities in story telling, you and he are striking. :D

who is HE ??

sorry im Thai.. eng is not mother tongue nor secondary language here..just foriegner lang..

could you explain to me ..farang man?

thanks :o

wolf5370 Ruby Member

wolf5370

Posted
Posted (edited)

The Dr is reffering to another TV member - The Gentleman Scamp.

He thinks you are similar.

I think you should be honest, but there is no need to wear it like a badge. You will, I imagine, find it harder to meet Mr right (the right person for you) as a lot of men will run - most because of what other people will think, probably (or what he imagines other people would think). Some because they want kids and no Op can do that for you - yet. Others for other reasons.

Eventually, hopefully, you will meet someone that is right for you and does not run when you tell him.

My personal feeling is that I think it would be wise to tell him (your propsed partner) before you get to the next stage. Hold back on sex and get to know each other. Tell him before you bed him. It's only my feeling, but I would think a lot of men would be angry with the thought that they had been duped (tricked). Better they leave with their pride in place than someone hurts you out of biggoted anger.

Good luck.

Edited by wolf5370
BambinA Ruby Member

BambinA

Posted
  • Author
Posted
The Dr is reffering to another TV member - The Gentleman Scamp.

He thinks you are similar.

I think you should be honest, but there is no need to wear it like a badge. You will, I imagine, find it harder to meet Mr right (the right person for you) as a lot of men will run - most because of what other people will think, probably (or what he imagines other people would think). Some because they want kids and no Op can do that for you - yet. Others for other reasons.

Eventually, hopefully, you will meet someone that is right for you and does not run when you tell him.

My personal feeling is that I think it would be wise to tell him (your propsed partner) before you get to the next stage. Hold back on sex and get to know each other. Tell him before you bed him. It's only my feeling, but I would think a lot of men would be angry with the thought that they had been duped (tricked). Better they leave with their pride in place than someone hurts you out of biggoted anger.

Good luck.

================================

The Dr is reffering to another TV member - The Gentleman Scamp.

He thinks you are similar

>>> oh i got it ..., anyhow ..what kind of similar between me an The Gentleman Scamp ,i'm curious :o

================================

I think you should be honest,

>>> in past I've never told anybody (guys) about my past..for recently I try to tell them waht i am..90% dont run away...and what they do just treat me as a "good toy" ... sigh :D

================================

Some because they want kids and no Op can do that for you

>>> you 're right .. I have thai ex-bf , we broke up coz i cant do any kid.. :D

================================

My personal feeling is that I think it would be wise to tell him

>>> thanks for your advise.. I will do that.. it's fair enough

(it's funny you know..when i told guys about my past ..they re always think it's my "joke" , and make up a story ..they dont believe i was a boy in past)

.......Thank you so much for your comment na ka.....

PS..

well a 25 Brit broke will go to LOS again next few months ... I will reject him then ..i dont want to be his toy anymore

(well i confess it..he is really cute, smart ,has good job..and i like him)

dr_strangelove Senior Member

dr_strangelove

Posted
Posted (edited)

Silence is always good to begin with... expect nothing but hope for everything. IMHO, its always nice to put it across within the first few days... so that you wont get that much hurt... in most cases, it wont be the fact what makes men think differently, its the way you present it. Make sure that no one says yes because of sympathy... that never works out well in future... always be prepared to face the worst... once u start learning to adopt to a certain pattern, slowly it will all start working out positively... it might take 2 or 3 years... Be patient... Have hope... There is something called love in this world... but u know... its very difficult to find it...

Hows Thai mens reaction to a post-op TS??? Or is it that you need only a farang?

goodluck

Edited by dr_strangelove
BambinA Ruby Member

BambinA

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Silence is always good to begin with... expect nothing but hope for everything. IMHO, its always nice to put it across within the first few days... so that you wont get that much hurt... in most cases, it wont be the fact what makes men think differently, its the way you present it. Make sure that no one says yes because of sympathy... that never works out well in future...  always be prepared to face the worst... once u start learning to adopt to a certain pattern, slowly it will all start working out positively... it might take 2 or 3 years... Be patient...  Have hope... There is something called love in this world... but u know... its very difficult to find it...

Hows Thai mens reaction to a post-op TS??? Or is it that you need only a farang?

goodluck

thanks for comment..its helpful :o

= = = = = = = = = = == = = == = = = = = =

Hows Thai mens reaction to a post-op TS??? Or is it that you need only a farang?

>>> I have no problem with Thai men, they treat me well (obviously they dont know my past...and they think im just a genetic woman...

about farang... well, it's just my preference..just happend for few yrs ago, i realize that white guys look cute.. as you guys here..some like asian ,latina,blondie or indian..

Knotter Bill Newbie

Knotter Bill

Posted
Posted (edited)

Greetings from England. :o

They say honesty is the best policy. Someone should love you and be proud of you for who you are not what you are ( or indeed who you were) Better even to tell him on your first date, if he is worth anything he should admire and respect you for your honesty.If he is not interested then, well better to have a little hearbreak now than a 'massive' one later. Trying to go into stealth mode just would not work for long these days.The world is getting smaller every minute, news travels fast especially since the advent of the world wide web. He would find out sooner or later anyway, so the truth would be far better coming from your lips. I do sincerely hope you find what you are looking for. As an intelligent, open and honest human being you certainly deserve better than just been someones 'plaything'.

All the very best to you.

R.

Edited by Knotter Bill
bina Ruby Member

bina

Posted
Posted

yeah yeah yeah been there done that on the forum we all know that the word ketoy is slang bad etc etc but easier than writing out heterosexual transexual woman on the keyboard

troll?? or not???

sometimes the least plausible story is the real thing but usually not.... something to do with snappy title etc.... as opposed to just real questions in title, like, somehow, the title seems a little too 'sexy' to be a real question by a real person but really does somehow fit 'scampy's style of catchy title and subject matter (so why am i wasting my tendons on the keyboard?)

yea we know that post op men/women are not neccesarily gay but u might meet someone else in same boat, or close to it, there, that can really give u answers (they tend to skip the joking/snide comments and just respond)

greenfuji Rookie Member

greenfuji

Posted
Posted

I think as a full op TS you should now consider yourself as a woman and live life accordingly. You cannot bear children so to be honest you should tell them that you cant. Let the relationship develop accordingly and when the marriage day comes or the a time when you have to show your ID card and it says MR then let them know. Just reiforce the fact you believe you are a woman, had the physical bits change to reflect the fact and the only difference is you cant have children which they have accepted.

Telling people you used to be a guy has too many negative connotations as opposed to telling people you cannot have children, which for all intensive purposes that is the case in your life now. I hate to think you changed your gender for reasons other than believing you were a woman on the inside born in the wrong body, excluding for financial gain.

BambinA Ruby Member

BambinA

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Greetings from England. :D

They say honesty is the best policy. Someone should love you and be proud of you for who you are not what you are ( or indeed who you were) Better even to tell him on your first date, if he is worth anything he should admire and respect you for your honesty.

Thank you for advise ka Khun Knotter Bill

= = = = = == = = = = == =

in the other hand, i found an interesting subject from TV , i think maybe you guys curious to know

FROM LinWood

Subj. How To Recognize A Post-op Katoy ..?

I did a lil search on the forum, but I didn't find answer to this question...

I wonder if a post-op katoy (so a guy without d*ck, and with fake breast) :

1) can get wet ? (I guess no, but who knows ! )

:o ***Answer*** Yes ..we can get wet , this fluid produce by Prostate gland. and it wet enough for work

2) can have contractions in her vagina ? (like a real woman)

:D ***Answer*** Yes ..but weaker

3) and lastly, when she lies on her back on bed, can the fake breast fall down ? Usually, fake breast are easily detectable coz they don't fall down... but maybe now, some can have this realistic attribute

:D ***Answer*** Yes..if she doesn't fill em up with huge volume of silicone implant

hope my IMHO have some useful naka :D

Regards

BB

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