'custody' And 'parental Rights'

[philo]

I have been reading all the pinned topics in this forum conscerning children. There seeems to be two kinds of 'costody' here - parental right and physical custody.

In my case, a divorce is coming closer and closer.

I am not able to take care of two children myself - and I don't want to separate them from their mother or each other.

On the other hand - I don't want them to be dumped with her extended family either.

Is it possible that I can have sole parental rights and only give her custody of the the children as long as they stay with her - AND - she doesn't remarry?

The two houses, the two cars, the rubber garden, the lawn and the orchids she can have - I even made a western style play ground on the lawn. So now all the kids in the village play in our garden

It is not a question of money - bring it here and it is lost - it's more like I have the funds to support the children but not the ability. She is capable but doesn't have the funds yet (her 4000 rubber threes do not give money yet).

She will get at decent alimony and also money for taking care of the rubber plantation (and of course vaccines, kindergarten, insuranses etc).

But I would like to know what I will tell the lawyer before I sign.

Thanks

[Mario2008]

She could grant you sole custody of the children if you divorce by way of amphur. If you have sole custody over the children you can decide where they stay and change that. In essence, let them stay with their mother unless she remarries.

If she doesn't agree and it goes to court, there is no way a judge is going to give you sole custody.

But it seems to me you want to control your wifes life. Be happy for her when she starts a new family and deal with that situation if and when that happens. It might be a good situation for the children. If the new situation would not be good for the children, you could always try to get sole custody at that time. But there must be a clear situation that is not in the interest of the children before a Thai court would grant sole custody.

[philo]

Thank you Mario for your answer.

One (or two) of the pinned threads at the beginning of this forum is opened (and moderated by you).

Dear Mario, you surely knows that in Thailand, the boys go with their mother, and the girls go with their father (the implicit reason is that young girls should not be deflowered by their step father).

This is why I would like to know the difference between 'Parental rights' and 'Physical Custody'.

Please see this.

Thank you.

Philo

[Mario2008]

That is not automatic and given your alcohol problems the mother has a much better chanche than you being the one who will be awarded the right to raise the children.

As to your question, parental rights means that you have the right to make decisions about the child, inclusing the place where the child stays. Having physical custody means that you are the one where the person is staying. If you don't also have parental rights, that can be changed by the person who has parental rights.

[philo]

Thanks Mario, but I might have expressed myself unclear (I would never suggest that you don't get the point).

1. My wife wants me to have the children, but as I said I am old and tired and (you said it - shame on you: How do you know if I have stopped or not?) drunk, and it would be a shame to raise two children this way.

2. I want my children to stay with their mother - they are (especially the boy - a small smiling buddhist monk) happier with her and her family.

3. My daughter (3 years old) knows already that I have to go to work (do you think every moron wants to make money from stupid google ads on TV?) - and I am sober when I meet her.

4. My son doesn't know anything about anything yet - he's only smiling and enjoying the experience of being able to walk (for two weeks now).

5. For monthts, I haven't lived in my house(s) - I have a rented room somewhere else when I am not travelling for work.

6. Even in the so called Western countries it is common that the father doesn't come home every day - some are sailors, oil drillers, salesmen ....., pick whatever you want.

7. Your link about 'Parental Abduction' from the land of big hamburgers unfound here doesn't work anymore (and I posted it years before you become a ThaiVisa Hero).

I have asked a simple question:

If my wife grants me full parental rights - which she is willing to do (she even proposed it herself) - and in return she will get a lot of honey Baht's for taking care of them, can I leave my children in physical custody with their mother until the day - I hope it will never come - I find it better to take the children somewhere else (with a nursenand a nanny, asking them first if they want farang schooling/college/university education ......)

But from your advise given before in innumerable threads you probably do not know.

So I am sorry for having disturbed you.

Regards,

philo

[Mario2008]

Philo, read my first post again and don't get all upset. I pointed out that if your wife contests you will be the prime care taker, she has a strong case against you. I'm not implying you are a careless drunk or anything. In what I have seen so far from your posts I make you out a responsible father who clearly has his childrens best intrests at hearth. I did suggest to face the situation about your children in the case your wife remarries when that time come. Not everyone is a child molester.

My answer to your question was:

Yes, you can have sole parental rights if you both agree to that. You can than at any time change the place where the children are staying. But for that you will have to divorce at the amphur and at the time of entering the divorce in the register at the amphur, as well as all other agreements like alimony, child support etc. Do that with the help of a lawyer, as if you also agree in the documents that the children will stay with the mother despite you having sole parental rights you can not just change this agreement. While if you only enter that you will have sole parental rights you can change the place where they stay whenever you want.

edit:

Thanks for pointing out the link is broken. I have now repaired the link.