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Posted

On Saturday morning I blasted my wife for the phone line being cut off, the reason being she admitted, was that she spent the money I gave her on the lottery last week. Apparently the local fortune teller had told her she was bound to win. You would have thought she would have questioned this her being the same woman who had advised my wife to marry me :D

A couple of hours later when I got dressed to go out and see the Lions rugby match I felt considerable pain in my "privates" and my bum. The culprits a dozen ants residing in my underwear. My wife said "oh I forgot to tell you the dogs knocked the clothes drier over and they'd been on the lawn for a couple of hours."

Went off to see the rugby game in the pub in considerable pain. Went to the toilet and found my equipment was twice its normal size( absolutely enormous) :o and bright red. By coincidence whenever the Lions scored I would have to rub my crotch as it was now itching like mad. The waitresses must have thought it was some sort of ancient celtic ritual :D

Did my wife do it on purpose or was she just looking for a cheap alternative to viagra? :D

Posted

Dodgy...surely the ants would've pissed off after all the betty swollocks and all that? :D Maybe she doused your knickers in something to attract the ants or perhaps they weren't washed properly and the ants were congregating around the old betty swollocks after all :o Is she the vengeful type?...silly question, she is a woman?

Posted

Id say it was on purpose, if she saw they were on the ground already, she knew...... its funny, the little things that women do. You owe her one now! :o Next time she needs money for something, you already spent it....

Posted
Id say it was on purpose, if she saw they were on the ground already, she knew...... its funny, the little things that women do. You owe her one now! :o  Next time she needs money for something, you already spent it....

I'd love to be able to do that, but after 5 years she knows she just has to do that cute innocent smile and----- :D

And no she didn't win the lottery :D

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