Your Last Meal

[StreetCowboy]

I've now started on my last lunches.

I had an Indian combo today.

I reckon I've got eight days to go, but some of those will need to be Cornish Pasty and Curry Puff days.

Actually, thinking on it, my lunch choices are so limited - in fact my diet is so limited, that I can go a few days yet without a Last List.

In fact, the only places I go to that I would particularly want to go to for a last time are all noodle shops:-

- pad si ew

- Hong Kong Kway Teow, but without the ginger

- chilli garlic noodles

- bento box

- subway sandwich, since I don't get there very often now

and this evening, I'm going to try to get to the nice samosa merchant.

I'd like to treat a friend to Chinese hot pot, but opportunities are severely limited; that would need to be tonight or tomorrow night, or maybve Friday early.

Anyway, it doesn't seem sensible to make plans in any more detail; it will just constrain me; I'm hoping to avoid a repreive, and might try and bring forward my last day - like people on death row, I've got other places to go that I'd rather be, now that I am where I am now.

Sorry its so cryptic. But your interpretation is probably more dramatic than mine

SC

[surayu]

Wow what a topic! i must remember to swap the keyboard when i am browsing TV with a wooden one and hang a couple of red chillies on the screen as well, not that i am so scaramantic, but you never know...

...and your avatar doesn't help neither

[StreetCowboy]

Wow what a topic! i must remember to swap the keyboard when i am browsing TV with a wooden one and hang a couple of red chillies on the screen as well, not that i am so scaramantic, but you never know...

...and your avatar doesn't help neither

? Does a wooden keyboard ward off apalling social gaffs

I can't believe I asked such a stupid question; I'd have not done that with a wooden keyboard, for sure.

But what wopuld be the purpose of the chillis?

For the sake of a couple of chillis, it would seem reckless not to hang them, regardless of whether you personally believe that they will protect you against whatever. Probably popularity and affection.

I hope you can work to enhance your scaramance, I am sure that it will stand you in good stead in the future

___________________

But back on topic, Thursday will be my last big night out, and any entertaining recommendations would be welcomed - and welcoming recommendations entertained.

I suppose I should think about my Last Supper, which is not far away now.

I'm not sure if I will be able to find any disciples to break bread with, but I was never really a disciplarian anyway.

SC

[surayu]

[quote name='StreetCowboy' date='2010-06-23 20:41'

Holy cow!....don't worry i don't think you will be missed much, i can send you a chilly for solidarity if you like

[StreetCowboy]

Holy cow!....don't worry i don't think you will be missed much, i can send you a chilly for solidarity if you like

Who said scaramance is dead?

I think I'll play safe, and get rid of the computer. Or maybe just get a cardboard screen to go with the wooden keyboard.

There's not many left to miss me, now (I sound just like my dear old late grandmother, before she was late).

I've pretty much lost my appetite - well, my thirst anyway, but I suppose one has to make the effort. And to be honest, I've lost my appetite as well; I can see it being the smallest big night out, and sadly, amongst the most memorable. I might bloody-well go to church in the morning...

But I ought to still do the planning. For the sake of those I leave behind.

SC

[xen]

I always think of this song when the subject of my last meal comes up.

This version comes from Little Charlie and the NightCats but has been done by numerous Blues bands.

Well, I heard the warden said.

I had one more day.

One last meal before they carried me away.

He said if we don't got it.

We'll go out an' get it.

Because you don't have to go.

Til we get back with it.

So I said, 'Hmmm'.

A-bring me two dinosaur eggs over easy.

Fried in the butter an' not too greasy.

Muskees and bean, black-eyed peas.

An' a little small dish of buttered bee-balm beans

I want-a zebra tooth, a tiger steak

An whole hippopotamus, well baked.

Now go, get my dinner, go.

Get my dinner.

You ain't got it, go out an get it.

'Cause I ain't goin', til ya get back with it.

Now bring me a cup of crocodile tears.

Purple watermellon an some alligator ears.

An bring me two cross-eyed cat fish.

An some wavy gravy in a left-hand dish.

Now go, get my dinner, go.

Get my dinner.

You ain't got it, go out an get it.

'Cause I ain't goin', til ya get back with it.

(Instrumental & guitar solo)

Now bring me a order of rattlesnake hips.

The split of his tongue bring me both of his lips.

Now ya have my order so serve my dish.

With a female banana I just can't resist.

Now go, get my dinner, go.

Get my dinner.

You ain't got it, go out an get it.

'Cause I ain't goin', til ya get back with it.

Go on, get it now.

Don't worry about me, cause I ain't goin' nowhere.

FADES-

Hey! Don't forget the hot sauce!

[StreetCowboy]

So that's my last lunches started.

I had my last pad si ew gong from the food court...

I've not really thought too hard about the order of my last lunches, and when should I have my last cornish pastie and curry puff. But then, you can't plan your life and your departure around food. There's other things to worry about, like milk for my coffee...

Also, I'm under pressure to bring my last big night out forward...I suppose I could agree, and they would still hang around getting impatient till the target kick-off time...

SC

[smokie36]

Don't do it SC.....keep your chin up mate.....think of all the meals you might yet enjoy......get a chinese takeaway menu it'll keep you alive for another 175 days on its own.

[StreetCowboy]

Don't do it SC.....keep your chin up mate.....think of all the meals you might yet enjoy......get a chinese takeaway menu it'll keep you alive for another 175 days on its own.

Well, it was a right disappointing turn-out for the last big night out. There was only five of us; I thought about going for a Chinese takeaway, but decided to go for Thai instead, but ended up not eating the whole night, apart from nibbling nuts. I feel sure I could have worded that better...

Anyway, I might go for a hot pot on Wednesday evening; I've still got a week to go...

SC

[Pushit]

Kitty of course!!

[StreetCowboy]

Kitty of course!!

On that slightly surreal note...

I've not had a Korean; Mongolian, but not Korean. Maybe Mongolian Hot-Pot for a set lunch of gloop today, though I would prefer something I liked...

I suppose I could pass that off as my last mediocre lunch...

I filled my car with petrol for the last time, and forgot to go to the garage where the account is held, so I had to pay cash. Obviously the stress is getting to me...I only went for a pint of milk - probably not my last one...

SC

[StreetCowboy]

For my last game of rugby league, I couldn't have asked for better than Warrington at home to Leeds...

And what could be better than watching it with your loved ones?

Obviously, apart from watching it in peace, or down the pub with your mates, or at the ground after a few in the Lord Rodney, I ask you, what could be better?

Now I come to think of it, it takes me back to the Calcutta Cup in 2006...

SC

[StreetCowboy]

There's not many left to miss me, now (I sound just like my dear old late grandmother, before she was late).

I've pretty much lost my appetite - well, my thirst anyway, but I suppose one has to make the effort. And to be honest, I've lost my appetite as well; I can see it being the smallest big night out, and sadly, amongst the most memorable. I might bloody-well go to church in the morning...

But I ought to still do the planning. For the sake of those I leave behind.

-----

Well, it was a right disappointing turn-out for the last big night out. There was only five of us; I thought about going for a Chinese takeaway, but decided to go for Thai instead, but ended up not eating the whole night, apart from nibbling nuts. I feel sure I could have worded that better...

Anyway, I might go for a hot pot on Wednesday evening; I've still got a week to go...

SC

I ended up going home half-way through the big night out - actually, about 75% - for a bit of absence and abstinence, and didn't indulge my appetite. Apparently il patrone got led astray, though I've deliberately not enquired - you can't tell what you don't know, other than to hypothecate and speculate... depending on the depths or breadths or reaches of your imagination

I did bloody-well go to church in the morning too, and then went for a little smackeral of something in the afternoon.

So I suppose that was all-knows-goodness-what lasts over the weekend, including my last weekend...

I got my last and first traffic ticket as well, for my regular U-turn a week or so back

SC

[StreetCowboy]

Well, I've had the last of my lasts, paid my debts to society, said farewell to my loved ones and so forth.

I had a lebanese kebab for my last meal, and, for the first time, was completely unsurprised by everything it came with.

Now I'm in the purgatory of Bangkok (or limbo - not sure, my geography of the after-life is somewhat lacking), paying for past sins, and some pay-as-you go as well...

I can't promise any messages from beyond the grave, but certainly from the far side of serious and sombre, when I move on to the next life

SC

I'd like to thank the OP for starting such a morbidly entertaining thread

- it has certainly eased my passing, though not in the dietary health sense;

for those of you suffering in passing, I would recommend several pints of guinness...

Edit: appalling disconnect brain-to-keyboard rectified

[Travel2003]

A pizza.

A really big one with a lot of toppings.

I would eat so much that I wanted to die.

[smokie36]

A pizza.

A really big one with a lot of toppings.

I would eat so much that I wanted to die.

I'm sorry to say there is no pizza big or tasty enough that's worth dying for in Bangkok......

I wish there was....

[Travel2003]

A pizza.

A really big one with a lot of toppings.

I would eat so much that I wanted to die.

I'm sorry to say there is no pizza big or tasty enough that's worth dying for in Bangkok......

I wish there was....

Didnt know it had to be in Bangkok.

However, I agree with you regarding the lack of pizza worth dying for here.

[game4shame]

A seriously large English Breakfast

agreed.

but it would have to be an english breakfast - not that ABF 5hite (7/11 sausages, ham, salad...I mean...who the <deleted> adds salad to a cooked breakfast??).

yip, the full english would go down a treat - big cumberland sausages, bacon, fried eggs, beans, fried mushrooms, fried tomato, fried bread etc. so unhealthy but so good at the same time.

[StreetCowboy]

A pizza.

A really big one with a lot of toppings.

I would eat so much that I wanted to die.

I'm sorry to say there is no pizza big or tasty enough that's worth dying for in Bangkok......

I wish there was....

I once ate so much chicken's foot that I wanted to die. It wasn't that much...

I can well imagine that there are pizzas foul enough to want to die from in Bangkok

SC

[leemac]

Well this is a very strange one, but since I was a child, I always thought that out of all the creatures on the planet, the one that eats the most sugars and fats and variety of flavours and spices is the human race, so wouldn't it make sense that human meat would taste delicious? We aren't exactly wiry like dogs, we tend to have a lot of meat on our bones, we don't eat rubbish that pigs eat or eat, walk, sleep, or wallow in our own shit. We are clean and disease free in comparison. I think my last meal would have to be a human steak, with a side of gravy and roasted potatoes, or fries cooked with garlic oil and herbs, vegetables, white sauce, and (this may be a shock) an iced coke. Then, hand crafted donuts with hot chocolate dipping sauce and vanilla icecream for dessert with a hot coffee.

[smokie36]

Well this is a very strange one, but since I was a child, I always thought that out of all the creatures on the planet, the one that eats the most sugars and fats and variety of flavours and spices is the human race, so wouldn't it make sense that human meat would taste delicious? We aren't exactly wiry like dogs, we tend to have a lot of meat on our bones, we don't eat rubbish that pigs eat or eat, walk, sleep, or wallow in our own shit. We are clean and disease free in comparison. I think my last meal would have to be a human steak, with a side of gravy and roasted potatoes, or fries cooked with garlic oil and herbs, vegetables, white sauce, and (this may be a shock) an iced coke. Then, hand crafted donuts with hot chocolate dipping sauce and vanilla icecream for dessert with a hot coffee.

Just clarify for us all....are you posting from inside or outside a prison right now?

If not I fear it won't be long.....or is it hope it won't be long? Ach you get the picture anyway....

[leemac]

Hope mine is a Big Mac Attack.

I am with you on this one, or a whopper with cheese. Why, l can think of some great gastronomic delights but if l was about to expire then the etiquette of the table would be last on my list. Oh, and a pint or two of Real Ale.

I think I'd be bouncing off the walls screaming, spitting food and shouting with glee at anyone within spitting range.

They wouldn't forget that for a long time.

[StreetCowboy]

8>< SNIP NESTED QUOTES DELETED ><8

...Oh, and a pint or two of Real Ale.

I've never really seen the point of drinking in moderation (Woops, Eeek will be on to me now, so to speak, regarding banned topics), though I suppose it would not be a good start to the eternal after-life to meet St Peter with a hang-over.

"Can you shut those bloody harps up?"

Mind, I suppose no-one would give an aspirin in the other place. I can just see Old Nick sipping an ice-cold guinness when you arrive...

"I don't even like beer... I'm more of a cocktails man. It's hel_l for me too, you know. No, you can't have one"

SC

[leemac]

Well this is a very strange one, but since I was a child, I always thought that out of all the creatures on the planet, the one that eats the most sugars and fats and variety of flavours and spices is the human race, so wouldn't it make sense that human meat would taste delicious? We aren't exactly wiry like dogs, we tend to have a lot of meat on our bones, we don't eat rubbish that pigs eat or eat, walk, sleep, or wallow in our own shit. We are clean and disease free in comparison. I think my last meal would have to be a human steak, with a side of gravy and roasted potatoes, or fries cooked with garlic oil and herbs, vegetables, white sauce, and (this may be a shock) an iced coke. Then, hand crafted donuts with hot chocolate dipping sauce and vanilla icecream for dessert with a hot coffee.

Just clarify for us all....are you posting from inside or outside a prison right now?

If not I fear it won't be long.....or is it hope it won't be long? Ach you get the picture anyway....

Well, if it's my last meal, I'm probably about to be executed, so I would choose to have a steak cut from the executee ahead of me- waste not want not etc...

At the end of the day, all humans have a bit of cannibalism in their history. Many other species do it. It's just meat. The logic behind eating cows and pigs, but not cats and dogs, eating lamb and chicken but not horse or human, it just doesn't make sense.

I'm not a spiritual person, but even if I was, there's still no spiritual basis for thinking of cannibalism as evil in most religions.

[StreetCowboy]

8>< NESTED QUOTES DELETED ><8

Well, if it's my last meal, I'm probably about to be executed, so I would choose to have a steak cut from the executee ahead of me- waste not want not etc...

At the end of the day, all humans have a bit of cannibalism in their history. Many other species do it. It's just meat. The logic behind eating cows and pigs, but not cats and dogs, eating lamb and chicken but not horse or human, it just doesn't make sense.

I'm not a spiritual person, but even if I was, there's still no spiritual basis for thinking of cannibalism as evil in most religions.

I suppose, like venison, it would be better hung for a while.

SC

[leemac]

8>< NESTED QUOTES DELETED ><8

Well, if it's my last meal, I'm probably about to be executed, so I would choose to have a steak cut from the executee ahead of me- waste not want not etc...

At the end of the day, all humans have a bit of cannibalism in their history. Many other species do it. It's just meat. The logic behind eating cows and pigs, but not cats and dogs, eating lamb and chicken but not horse or human, it just doesn't make sense.

I'm not a spiritual person, but even if I was, there's still no spiritual basis for thinking of cannibalism as evil in most religions.

I suppose, like venison, it would be better hung for a while.

SC

Good point.

I heard once that in China, they force feed ducks alcohol, then slay and cook them with a high alcohol content. I'm sure many people would like to be heavily intoxicated before they go...

Hey, we're having drinks at mine tonight. My shout!

[StreetCowboy]

8>< NESTED QUOTES DELETED ><8

Well, if it's my last meal, I'm probably about to be executed, so I would choose to have a steak cut from the executee ahead of me- waste not want not etc...

At the end of the day, all humans have a bit of cannibalism in their history. Many other species do it. It's just meat. The logic behind eating cows and pigs, but not cats and dogs, eating lamb and chicken but not horse or human, it just doesn't make sense.

I'm not a spiritual person, but even if I was, there's still no spiritual basis for thinking of cannibalism as evil in most religions.

I suppose, like venison, it would be better hung for a while.

SC

Good point.

I heard once that in China, they force feed ducks alcohol, then slay and cook them with a high alcohol content. I'm sure many people would like to be heavily intoxicated before they go...

Hey, we're having drinks at mine tonight. My shout!

I would've come round for dinner, but couldn't make it, as it happens...

I suppose the meat would be better hanged than hung, bt that's a quite subtle distinction. You'd certainly not want an American guest of honour for your dinner party who had passed on by way of lethal injection.

You'd not want someone who had gone by the chair either, with big burn marks right across the rump steaks. Though I am not sure where they actually attach the contacts - I very much doubt that they are part of the chair, I think it is just a supporting structure. Perhaps someone from the legal profession who has experience as an executor could fill us in, if he is well-built and a bit handy

SC

A malapropism is worth a thousand puns

[zzaa09]

A good chicken rice plate with all the trimmings {Singapore style}

[StreetCowboy]

A good chicken rice plate with all the trimmings {Singapore style}

I'l be so grateful to get through to lunch time today. I would hate to go with only a couple of chapatis and and some lukewarm curry sauce to look back on.

Anyway, grateful for another beautiful sunny morning, and a hot sweaty walk up the hill to work.

SC

[philo]

What lack of hedonism.

I would make a countable infinite line of triplets, each triplet consisting of a Virgin, a Fag and a Randomly chosen Alcoholic Drink. Then I would start at triplet 1, then triplet 2, triplet 3 etc. ad infinitum.

The procedure can be compressed to something like this:

TripletNumber = 0

Repeat

TripletNumber = TripletNumber + 1

Go to TripletNumber

Study the Pink

Smoke a Fag and a have a Drink

DATY

Until (True = False)

Yep. That's it.

ph

PS For you Cannibals you might find pleasure in watching the film 'The Cook, The Thief, His Wife & Her Lover' ...