Do You Know Your Neighbors?

[californiabeachboy]

I have a question for those of you who have been in Thailand for more than a few weeks. I am retired and looking at places to spend a few months each year in Thailand. I now live in a complex in the US with many apartments, and the nice thing is that I know my neighbors, and if I need a ride to the airport, a cup of milk or whatever, I can always count on them. I am not looking for a best friend, but just people who live around me that I know and like (pick up my mail when I am in Thailand?). My question is, for those of you who live in apartment/condo complexes, (I am looking at Naklua, Phuket or Bangkok, but the question can apply to any area), do you know your neighbors? (whether Thai or farang), or does the transitory nature of this place prohibit that kind of interaction. It is important for me if I am going to live in a place as opposed to just visiting it.

Thanks.

[sarahsbloke]

When I lived in a condo it was great, never heard or saw any neighbours.

Now I live in a MooBaan it's a pain, my neighbours are scum, noisy loudmouthed American trailer trash on one side and a Euro druggie on the other (both living with Pattayas finest).

The Moobaan was chosen by a very nice American friend who lives in the next road, but the neighbours rented after I moved in.

Always a problem with rented accommodation nearby.

Be careful what you wish for.

Edited June 23, 2010 by sarahsbloke

[robblok]

I live in a moo bahn, i have lived on two places in this moo bahn. First rent and there i did know my neighbours and had chats with them and drinks. Then i moved 300 meters and the neighbours that i have now i almost have no contact with. They are gone a lot and not overly friendly. A neighbour 2 houses away i chat with when i see him but that is basically it. I do know other people in my village that i chat with and so on.

In Holland it was the same.. sometimes you know people and like them other times you just don't connect. Its not a Thai thing but a human thing.

[simon43]

I avoid all these problems with neighbours. I am a miserable old git. I live in a small house surrounded by pineapple and rubber plantations. The nearest living thing that I can see is a large buffalo in the next field and some chickens in my garden.

I have a friendly chat with my landlady when I see her, but since she is about 80 years old and almost deaf, our conversations are somewhat one-sided

Life is bliss

Simon

[robblok]

To clarify things i don't have a problem with my neighbors.. the ones i have now just don't stop to chit chat much. I have never had a problem with any of my neighbors in Thailand or Holland.

[anothertorres]

yes, absolutely.

[Loz]

I know my neighbors. Of course I do, I have 24/7 security cameras (night vision cams) pointed at all boundaries. I know them better than they know themselves!

[yabaaaa]

I avoid all these problems with neighbours. I am a miserable old git. I live in a small house surrounded by pineapple and rubber plantations. The nearest living thing that I can see is a large buffalo in the next field and some chickens in my garden.

I have a friendly chat with my landlady when I see her, but since she is about 80 years old and almost deaf, our conversations are somewhat one-sided

Life is bliss

Simon

Good for you Simon me too. Id share it with you but you'd pi** me off after a while hahahah.

Ive got 5 acres and soon hopefully my house in the middle of it. Its rare to find good neighbours and theres always some noisy git somewhere who just cant help letting the world know about their music or dog.

[mahtin]

No.

[Gluestick]

No clue who the immediate neighbors are but I have met other in the village that are friendly. My family might know the immediate neighbors but no one talks to each other. I also have some ex-students in the village that I live in. It's an exclusive village so not much goes on here.

[Bluepotion]

I'm thai. If you have any question about thailand you can ask me.

I think live in condo is better. Don't pain try in Hmoo Bahn.

[mahtin]

Don't pain try in Hmoo Bahn.

Sounds like good advice to me.

[MZurf]

Don't pain try in Hmoo Bahn.

Sounds like good advice to me.

If it sounds good to you maybe you can translate?

[mrtoad]

Yes, and it is so quiet in our Moo Bahn with only 16 houses. Totally Thai, other than the token Farang being me - but I have found our neighbours to be most pleasant, and thankfully no parking disputes. Of course if there was I'd call Onnut to take care of that.

[surayu]

Yes now we really know our neighbours, for about 6-7 months we have been building up a house in the sticks while making up and down from our condo in Bkk, we always try to mantain good relationship with them, doing small things like always bringing something from the city, always buying sweets to the kids around and drinks to all neighbours we meet at the local shops, as it is all so cheap and it seemed to be a good thing to do at the time. With the time passing by, we start noticing small things disappearing, we didn't really make a big things of it, however we started being a bit more alert about the situation around us, people would come in the house without say anything and help theirself in whatever they like, after a few arguments the most of them stopped, however we had a "hardcore" type of guy that believed he could come in our garden and do whatever he liked with the plants on it, i mean to destroy them leaving a mess all aroud and stealing all fruits...i believe this happened because the land where we build up our property is been vacant for so many years and people just started to feel like if it was their own, but that's just a theory of mine, however this guy say he would kill me and that he could do anything he wanted on the land we purchased.....i then went to see the police....what a joke they are! 6 officers came at different times, it seems nobody knows what is happening in their police station, hardly surprising anyway, i say to all of them what this guy did and that he was holding some sort of home made sword in his hands while he was threathing me and that by coincidence all the windows facing the area where he usually come to make his acts have been damaged and some valuables been stealed too, while we were talking the 2 neighbours came to say he didn't steal anything and that they had some of our fruits in their house too, the police didn't want to know the name of the thiefs or anything at all about the crimes, all they wanted to check was MY name and MY documents and ask many questions about ME only, when i ask them what i should do if i meet someone at night in my property that is up to no good and holding a weapon against me or my family they didn't give me ANY answers at all and just smiled and left, this is the real Thailand, our plan is to build a very high wall all around us possibly with an electric fence on it and put down anyone up to no good coming inside without having been invited first, this country doesn't give you a moderate choice and criminals think this works in their favour.....we invested alot here and moving is not an option, also i don't believe that running away everytime there is a problem is the way to go, problems can be everywhere, better to stand up against them, other "nice" things neighbours do, is to try to put anyone walking on the street against us, telling the passer by things like " are you afraid of the farang?" , "he don't like thiefs, why don't you try to go inside?" then laughs, and do a live commentary about anything they can see we are doing "look, the farang went to buy some sugar" , "look the farang is cooking", etc... you got to love them! we offered works to all people having economical problems, but they just cheat, cheat and cheat, sooooo lazy you couldn't believe and they finally walk away from anything is not "sanook", to steal is the way to go for them.......another interesting point is that we say to all of them that if they needed something they could just ask for it, i am not going to charge them and they know that, but they are so bad that they prefere to wait you are not in the house and do whatever they like, now i understand why when we were still in good relationship they wouldn't smile or even reply to a salute, only looking like if i had just killed their son or something, what the hellish people they are, i am truly disgusted by them especially after we tried to be so good toward them, my advise is never go that "extra mile" for a local until at least they proved to deserve any rewards, these people seems to not understand or care at all about foreigners even if logic say that in the long end it would have been much better for them to just be honest....go figure it out! TIT

[greytown]

other "nice" things neighbours do, is to try to put anyone walking on the street against us, telling the passer by things like " are you afraid of the farang?" , "he don't like thiefs, why don't you try to go inside?" then laughs, and do a live commentary about anything they can see we are doing "look, the farang went to buy some sugar" , "look the farang is cooking", etc... you got to love them! we offered works to all people having economical problems, but they just cheat, cheat and cheat, sooooo lazy you couldn't believe and they finally walk away from anything is not "sanook", to steal is the way to go for them.

Sounds like you are clearly not welcomed there. I would hate to live in such an environment where you know your neighbors hate you and will do anything they can to undermine you or cause you grief. Trying to grind you down with day to day pettiness. It seems no matter what good will you put forth, it won't change that they don't like your kind... Hopefully this attitude is not present everywhere in Thailand.

Edited June 23, 2010 by greytown

[ukrules]

Do you use a seriously toxic insecticide on your fruit at the moment ? This can deal with the parasites.

[sarahsbloke]

...i believe this happened because the land where we build up our property is been vacant for so many years and people just started to feel like if it was their own, but that's just a theory of mine,

First, it's not you, they treat everyone like this.

Second, why do you think Thais all build the big wall thing and have a big dog.

Third, threats of violence are common but rarely acted out.

Fourth, sharing food from the garden is sort of expected (if you didn't want to share you would have wall and dog)

Fifth, walking into house and taking stuff is village behaviour, Thais don't do privacy much

Edited June 24, 2010 by sarahsbloke

[Fatdog]

...i believe this happened because the land where we build up our property is been vacant for so many years and people just started to feel like if it was their own, but that's just a theory of mine,

First, it's not you, they treat everyone like this.

Second, why do you think Thais all build the big wall thing and have a big dog.

Third, threats of violence are common but rarely acted out.

Fourth, sharing food from the garden is sort of expected (if you didn't want to share you would have wall and dog)

Fifth, walking into house and taking stuff is village behaviour, Thais don't do privacy much

I agree with most of what SB say's here. Wife and me are in the prcess of building a house in her village, the first thing we built was the wall around the land,

It is normal for people in the village to share fruit and veg from their gardens, but it is not normal or acceptable to damage any of the plants or trees.

When we are at the in-laws house the wife and her sister are always going looking for stuff from other gardens and plenty people come to her parents garden for stuff, we will be doing the same when we live in the village full time, but taking stuff from the house is not normal from what I have seen in her village.

As for the threats, I agree it is unlikely they will be acted on, however the wife has already given me some advice on what to do if it happens to me, she tells me not to re-act, but just speak to her brothers and they will take care of any problems.

I am still living most of the time in Bangkok, I do not know all of my neighbors by name, but when I meet them in the lift or on the way in or our we always exchange pleasentries, same with the security and mainenance guys of the condo block. It does not take to much time to nod and smile and say hello, but I get the usual questions where you going? what you going to there for? etc I now find this quite normal.

FD

[dsprtliving]

My partner and I own a condo in a block in central Bangkok, and we really only know our immediate neighbor on a superficial level. We occasionally nod and say hello, but for the most part the Thais that live in the building completely ignore each other. I'd say that condo living here is the same as it would be in any big city around the world. The more people there are that live together in a given space, the less they want to know each other. That's just Bangkok though, and It is definitely different outside of the city.

I've lived in a Moo Bhan (residential neighborhood) for about a year now in staff housing for my work, and i have observed that the neighbors on my soi definitely seem to have an open door policy with those that live around them. Their windows and doors are always open....babies crying....TV's blaring....dogs barking....etc. So, depends on what you want i guess. Both types of living situations can be found in Thailand, but I agree with previous posts that condo living is definitely a more secure, safer option. With most nice condos there is enough visible security to deter would be thieves, but that isn't always the case with the Moo Bahns.

[californiabeachboy]

Mmmm. As the OP, these responses do not paint a pretty picture! Is it really that bad? To clarify, I live in a large apartment complex, and I have found that out of 100 or so that live here, there are a few who whose company I enjoy, sometimes on a short term basis, but others have become friends. But we support each other in a way - rides to the airport, borrowing things (and returning them), so maybe I am just lucky. Admittedly I have had to invoke the "5 minute rule" on occasion, in which I stop and chat with a neighbor, who is somewhat annoying, but I terminate the conversation after 5 minutes and move on, and it seems to work to keep the peace. All in all I enjoy it.

Maybe it is not the same in Thailand - it certainly was not the same when I lived in Paris and nobody knew each other and wouldn't even answer the door. But I suppose luck has a lot to do with it.

Thanks for the responses - a good read.

[craigt3365]

I lived in San Diego for 12 years in a house. Very rarely met my neighbors. Actually, only knew 2 of them at all! Lived in a condo in New York City for several years. Saw my neighbors when we were at the elevator, and that was it. Everybody was just so busy with work, family, etc.

Here, I have met almost 1/2 of the neighbors in our village of 40 homes. Most are really nice folks. Several are farang couples, quite a few Thai couples, the rest are farang/thai couples...many in the oil biz. A few homes are empty.

I talk with them on a fairly regular basis....at least one of them pretty much every day. Either for a quick chit chat, ask/answer a question, or have a drink. Best neighborhood I have lived in! We even see the gardeners and guards on a regular basis. Share a bite to eat, etc.

No TVs blaring. A few dogs barking, but rarely. Houses are on fairly large lots...so there is some privacy. Had dinner 2 nights ago with a Thai couple. She speaks great English...his is fair. Had a great time. We BBQed some steaks for them and had a "farang" dinner. In 2 weeks, many of us are getting together for an "Issan" night. I am sure that will be fun also...

I have a friend who lives in another village...not quite as nice. Barking dogs, chickens, loud scooters...He doesn't know any of his neighbors...and not sure he wants to!

So, I guess it all depends on where you live. We seem to be very lucky where we are now.

[Caliguy]

A neighborhood in Ramkhamhaeng(House). All Thai-Chinese(my wife as well) except me. We have cookouts together, celebrate birthdays, even go shopping or on vacation together. It's almost a mirror of the neighborhood im from in the states. Oh its a very quiet neighborhood as well. Theres another American here but he keeps to himself plus he's a miserable old a-hole with a hooker wife.

[mahtin]

A neighborhood in Ramkhamhaeng(House). All Thai-Chinese(my wife as well) except me. We have cookouts together, celebrate birthdays, even go shopping or on vacation together. It's almost a mirror of the neighborhood im from in the states. Oh its a very quiet neighborhood as well. Theres another American here but he keeps to himself plus he's a miserable old a-hole with a hooker wife.

You will fit in well here, but you forgot the word "Isaan".

[otherstuff1957]

I live on a soi that consists entirely of two story townhouses. Many people own their houses, but those who don't pay 10-14K in rent. In other words, it's a middle-class area - not really rich, hi-so types, but not really poor village types either.

I know, or at least my wife knows, more than 1/2 of the people who live near us. When I had to rush my wife to the hospital, a couple of neighbors help out. When a single woman neighbor needed help changing her window screens, I trotted on over with a screwdriver. My wife and some of the neighbors swap books occasionally. In short, it's a pretty nice neighborhood to live in and the neighbors are pretty pleasant. As this is a middle-class Bangkok neighborhood, most of the people are Thai-Chinese, except for my Irish and Canadian neighbors! And I get along with them alright as well.

[mca]

One of my sets of neighbours are a real old country couple who, ever since we moved in years ago, insist on calling me and my wife " Ajarn"

Dunno who told them that. I'd be about as good teaching as a fridge would be riding a unicycle.

[anothertorres]

Oh its a very quiet neighborhood as well. Theres another American here but he keeps to himself plus he's a miserable old a-hole with a hooker wife.

hhahah classic.

[evanson]

I live on Phuket. I ave a gun turret on my roof terrace.